DARK SOULS™ II: Scholar of the First Sin

DARK SOULS™ II: Scholar of the First Sin

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How to Trump the Competition
By ☧Belisarius☧ 穿得好的人 and 2 collaborators
This guide is how to win the game the Trump way.
   
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Introduction to the Philosophy of Trump
To join the Grand Emperor, one must embrace his perfect values.
1. Be the most SAVAGE. Thine canst accomodate other's feelings or beliefs. Embrace confidence as Trump's ideals are the most supreme.
2. Take what you want by force. The Grand Emporer did not take power through coercion and guile alone. Nay! He most savagely took his rightful property, for if one is not strong enough to keep what is his, then he never deserved it in the first place.
3. Only accept help from the worshippers of the brightest glow. Praise that sun! Trump is the ultimate sun, as clearly evident by his orange glow. Therefore, the Heirs of the Sun are worthy champions to accept help from.
4. Only the manliest, sexiest, NATURAL hair is acceptable. Witness the release of certain tensions from witnessing a true follower of the Grand Emperor.
5. The last value is one that you must stay vigilant to keep. It is to be the sexiest manbeast possible.
Witness the majestic manbeast and learn that you too can become this way.

Joining Trump as he Conquers Drangleic

Eagerness to join the Grand Emperors Holy Crusade is very acceptable. However, be wary that your adoration of our BENEVOLENT overlord does not blind you from the action on the battlefield. One of the most important ideologies of Trumpism is the immediate joining of the Heirs to the Sun covenant for new footsoldiers.
After having enough experience, veteran soldiers in Trump's royal army must join the covenant of champions to prove their worth. This also is the only test to become a general in his army like Sir Solair of Astora. Once one becomes a general, they are nearly unstoppable.
Gearing up with Trump
The Attire of Trump's servants must reflect how great he is. To be one of his soldiers you must dress in a manner worthy of his magnitude.







For instance do not follow this example depicted below

Nothing in his outfit is matching: the color, the armor types ect. Nothing about it works. This style of dress is unacceptable.

Only the most incandescent attire is acceptable. Never settle for any gear that does not possess rich colors. Witness the truest display of this fundamental concept.
The Astrologist's Robe, Lucatiel's Hat, and the Mirror knight arms and legs best represent this ideal.
Another viable option would be to embrace the homeland's patriotic standard. Witness
Aside from this man's glorious display of heroic patriotism, the armor sets that best represent the Grand Emporer's values are as follows:
The Mastdon Set

Creighton's Set

The Black Dragon Set

The Ruin Sentinel Set















The Syan Set














Velstadt's set













The Throne Defender Set















Targray's Set













The Smelter Demon Set
Trump's Vision of an Annexed Drangleic and Who he Accepts as His Footsoldiers
Trump's vision of Drangleic is that of a unified nation, under his strong leadership.
Trump only supports those worthy of his attention. He seeks young men and women, capable of carrying out his will and testiment. One must be willing to fully embrace the philosophy and ideals of the Trump in order to go far in his society. Remain vigilant in keeping his proverbs, and even the cowardly casul can become great too.
Those Worthy of Joining Grand Emperor Trump on his Majestic Journey of Reclamation
The Grand Emperor wishes only those modeled after his own superb physique to enter into his service (no fatties). Bask in his radient glow! Remember, once one gets to the Grand Emporer's RESPECTABLE age, they must follow in his footsteps and structure their sexy hair after him. This is to insure the maximum sexy at all times. Here is a helpful illistration on achieving maximum sexiness.
Following the Grand Emporer's Expert Battle Strategems

This game has 8 starting classes.
The class that most represents the Grand Emperor is the warrior class. It focuses on strength and a little dexterity, but the dex isn't as important. this class usualy utilizes heavy armor sets, such as the Drangleic set, and later in your conquest you shall utilize greater weapons and greater shields.
Clerics are invaluble on the battlefeild, because mirracles always come in handy. focus on leveling faith and posibly strength some. You will be a healer for your teammates, and a priceless asset.
The Swordsman is a class that has high dexterity (as well as the bandit) that can focus on using light weponry; particularly thrusting swords. This class uses light armor; the wanderer armor can last for a while if upgraded for instance. This class is particularly well suited for pvp.
To be a truly great warrior you can choose the deprived class and if you are sucsessful you will be one of the greatest warriors alive. a true deprived never wears any armor and only uses a sheild and weapon. greatsheilds and greatswords are preffered for this class. focus on leveling strength and vitality.
Knights are the succ.
These are the best classes for the Great One's army, but the other classes can be made to work for the Emporer's purposes.
Keeping Trump's philosophy in mind, every new member must strive to be the strongest
manbeast on the battlefield. Let no enemy get past your defenses. Hiding behind armor is only acceptable in certain circumstances, yet never get used to being worn down by the heaviest defences. The Grand Emporer requires progress and as such, his soldiers must find gear and weaponry that boasts high defense, yet is light enough to quickly advance through the battlefield.
A solid shield is also required. Through solid testing, a fully upgraded wooden shield, which weighs 1.5 pounds and boasts 120 physical damage resistance can carry you through the later game. Ranged warfare is also very Gucci, strive to upgrade your best crossbow or regular bow as soon as possible, especially once in the Covenant of Champions. Agdayne(undead crypt) is an excellent supplier of dark bolts and arrows which are very OP to certain enemies, but rember to regularly resuply on iron arrows and bolts from the blacksmiths, as they will be your standard arrows for your ranged weapon. An excellent battel strategy starts with choosing two weapons in order to properly rek in PvE. Some of the best combinations are a decent regular shield (best kept aesthetic) with a proper greatsword, accompanied by a low stamina-cost sidearm such as a sword like the broadsword, longsword, or sun sword. The Forlorn Greatsword is an excellent greatsword as it weighs 9 pounds and does respectable amount of base damage. The weight and better stat scaling allows room for solid, fashionable armor and shields.
The key to success is balance. Always us the best defensive armor, shields, and weapons, but try to have the ability to fast roll (below 70% carry weight) in order to not get rekt by certain players, enemies, and bosses. Remember, good players will play nice and heal each other with miracles. If you wish to , invest in faith in order to heal your fellow soldiers and allies-in-arms. In this way, the victory of our lord will be swift.
Examples of the Grand Emporers Greatest Champions
http://gtm.steamproxy.vip/groups/WarriorsoftheTrumpOrder
This group is for those who wish to join the Trump Order, and claim Drangleic for the Glorious Emperor.
Conclusion
In order to fully become a Trump Priveledged White, one must follow all of these statutes and dedicate their life to Trump. Also be on constant watch for the Weaboo Order, and most importantly understand that if one strays from this path, they will become a dead meme like spüderboi.
24 Comments
LIME  [author] 3 Dec, 2022 @ 7:57am 
obamna
LIME  [author] 7 Jun, 2022 @ 9:27am 
Ignacio
Bricky strong 17 Oct, 2019 @ 8:13am 
I love President Trump, but this is still funny to me.
Maestro De Aborigene 14 Oct, 2019 @ 4:35am 
Зачем ставить все языки, если этот шлак лишь на английском, лол?
rjherreras 11 Oct, 2019 @ 11:00am 
Without comedy this world wil be eaten by Manus and the Abysm
☧Belisarius☧ 穿得好的人  [author] 29 Jul, 2018 @ 5:28pm 
Look at my African American over here. Look at him! Are you the greatest? You know what I'm talking about? OK!
The Jade Fist 29 Jul, 2018 @ 1:24pm 
This is a wonderful guide, it's fantastic, every body loves it, it's the best guide there is. And people are tired winning biggly, and they are going to ask to stop winning, but the answer is no.
Don't give up skeleton! 16 Mar, 2017 @ 12:12am 
There is some actual work in that guide hahaha good job mate was a fun read
Charles  [author] 11 Mar, 2017 @ 3:16pm 
HAIL