These achievements listed below are achieved as you progress through the story, and not much is needed to do differently to achieve them. If you want some tips for your runs, read the "helpful stuff" section below.

Slow Learner: Run into the instant death spikes.
In the tutorial, run into the glowing spikes. The spikes in later game do not work, only the ones in tutorial.


Slowing Distortion: Delay the apocalypse by 150 seconds in one run



Delay the unevitable: Delay the Apocalypse by 4 minutes in one run



Doomsday Comes Later: Delay the Apocalypse by 6 minutes in one run



As you play the game, you come across clocks which are dropped by enemies or chests. Collecting these will eventually give you all of the achievements. Note that the final boss in a run drops 2 minutes worth of delay.


The Experiments of Combat: Score 50,000 with the Scientist Suit



Victory Hypothesis: Finish a run in the Scientist Suit



Ninja Scientist: Score 50,000 with the Ninja Suit



Ninja Style: Finish a run in the Ninja Suit



Attractive Force: Score 50,000 with the Magnet Suit



Positive Charge: Finish a run in the Magnet Suit



Getting Sweaty: Score 50,000 with the Gym Suit



Amazing Workout: Finish a run in the Gym Suit



Just finish a run in the corresponding suit


Revenge: Defeat Meiun
This is the final boss in a run, which emerges after you collect all 4 pieces of the machine.


Time Anti-Paradox: Beat the final boss
After beating the game in the first 4 suits, you unlock a new mode called Final Malfunction. Complete the challenge and the achievement is yours.


Lethal Mixture: Finish Earth Unleashed in the Scientist Suit



Way of the Ninja: Finish Earth Unleashed in the Ninja Suit



The North Pole: Finish Earth Unleashed in the Magnet Suit



Incredible Stamina: Finish Earth Unleashed in the Gym Suit



Earth unleached is a mode you unlock after completing a distorted earth run in a suit. Earth unleashed is slightly more difficult mode of Distorted Earth, biggest differences are that there are more mobs, more mobs with special effects and the boss in a dungeon spawns with 4 mobs alongside it, and the final boss is harder.


Rematch: Defeat Elemental Meiun
The final boss in Distorted Earth, same as Revenge achievement.



Weirdest Idea Ever: Score 50,000 with the Birthday Suit



Living on the Edge: Finish a run in the Birthday Suit



...Happy Birthday!: Finish Earth Unleashed in the Birthday Suit



You unlock the Birthday suit after beating the Final Malfunction mode. Birthday suit is the worst suit there is, and these achievements are in my opinion the hardest in the entire game. The following video is a runthrought of Earth unleashed mode, but distorted earth shouldn't differ much from it.


Divine Ownage: Beat the Time Empress
After beating Distorted Earth in 5 suits you unlock The Conclusion, which is the final challenge of the game. This is the hardest dungeon there is, and you will be using the Scientist suit.


Aim High: Score 200,000 points
This achievement should come as you play through Earth Unleashed, as most run I did ended with over 200k points

Mega Treasure: Collect all of the contents in the Mega Slot Chests
As you play, you may sometimes come across these weird big chests which cost 60-100 coins to unlock. Open 8 of them and you will get this achievements. Every unlock is automatically saved and you don't need to open all in a single run. Mega Slot chests are usually found behind locked doors in dungeons, but you might encounter some in the normal map.

Unlock All The Things: Yep. (only need the Singleplayer ones)
Everything above. You have a checklist on the "unlockables" tab if you need it.


Learn Through Failure: Lose 50 runs
Depending your skill level this takes longer or shorter to get. Fastest way to die is to use birthday suit and run to the first enemy and let it kill you.

Bosses: These are the enemies which are found at the location of light-blue and light-red blimps on the minimap or at the end of a dungeon. Bosses are the enemies which drop you machine pieces you need to collect. There are 4 of them in each run, 2 in the overworld and 2 at the end of dungeons. Killing a boss gives an achievement, and it may take multiple runs to encounter them all, but should come without much effort along regular gameplay. Not much I can help you with, other than saying if the boss can be encountered in the overworld or in a dungeon.

Overworld:

Rainbow Family: Defeat the Blob Bros.



I Can See Again!: Defeat a Sandstorm



Mutant Plant: Defeat a Tree Monster



King & Queen Rollers: Defeat the Royal Dillos



Getsuga: Defeat Zombakuto



It's a Mystery to Us: Defeat Mystery



Frozen to the Core: Defeat Frozen Bones



Frostbite: Defeat a Yeti



Artificial Heart: Defeat a Crystal Heart



Mr. Crazy Man: Defeat Foreman Jack



It Came From Above: Defeat Meteor Bob




Dungeon:

Giant Bat Deluxe: Defeat the Night Emperor



Tensho: Defeat Zombakuto BW



The King of Death: Defeat Skeleking



Wumbology: Defeat a Wumbo Blob



Treeminator: Defeat Treebot



That Guy: Defeat the Soul of Raynald





Minibosses: These are rare enemies which appear randomly in dungeons or on the overworld. Minibosses spawn like normal mobs but differ greatly from them. They have higher hp, a visible name and you hear a *gasp* sound when you encounter one. They will follow you longer than any other mob and they have better drops. You can't miss when you see one.

Overworld:

Human Insect: Defeat the rare Mothguy



Never Trust Them: Defeat one of Meiun's Advocates




Dungeon:

Goat Feaster: Defeat the rare Chucab



Shouldn't Have Done That: Defeat the rare Benny



Unknown Killer: Defeat the rare Jef



Faceless and Skinny: Defeat the rare Slendy




Special:
Glimmering Wonder: Defeat the special Gold Blob
The Gold Blob is slightly different than the other minibosses and can spawn in dungeons. After Gold Blob activates, it will start to wander leaving a trail of damaging goo behind it. However, it will despawn after a set amount of time unless you manage to kill it. Some weapons lack the overall dps to kill them in time, and if you have only melee weapons equipped it may be behind a wall of goo preventing you from damaging it. It will not drop anything special after killing it, only the same stuff other minibosses drop.

These are achievements which might need you to play differently as you are used to.

First Aid Not Needed: In the Scientist suit, complete a run without using the revive potion.
The special ability of the Scientist suit is that it automatically revives you and gives you a temporary shield when your health drops to zero. Just avoid losing too much health and you should be fine.

One Weapon Only: In the Ninja suit, defeat a boss without using either attack button.
This is a referrence to the ninjas passive ability which is to throw knives at the closest enemy. You need to kill a boss using only these passive knives and not your weapons. The easiest boss I found to do this on is the Sandstorm boss, as it counts if you kill only the first phase.

The Heart Complex: In the Magnet suit, have 15 hearts follow you at once.
The magnetic suit pulls stuff towards you. If you have full health, the hearts will follow you in stead of being consumed. In the overworld, run around killing stuff and opening chests untill the achievement pops up. Entering a dungeon removes all following items so avoid that.

Heavy Load: In the Gym suit, defeat a boss with both weapons at full weight.
The passive effect of the gym suit is that the weapons you have don't use durability but they are time based. When the bar is green, there is no drawback and you can spam the weapon as much as you like, but when the bar turns orange it will slowly add weight slowing you down (but you can still go full Rambo). The achievement needs you to wait until the orange bar is full in both weapons and then kill a boss. When the weapons are at full weight you hardly move and it may be difficult to dodge projectiles. However, your sprint still works and by pressing the spacebar you can still move quite fast. Time your dashes to avoiding enemy projectiles.

OP MLG Purchase: Buy the most expensive weapon from a merchant.
Go play in Earth unleashed as there are more enemies to kill and they can drop more money. Find a merchant that has a weapon costing 480 coins to buy and grind enemies and objects for coins. Enemies with special effects tend to drop more coins, but you can kill even the trees or rocks for small amounts. I wouldn't suggest going in a dungeon as it may be slower than collecting money in the overworld. Be sure to kill the bosses marked as light-blue and light-red blimps in the minimap.

Mad Shepherd: Use the Sheep weapon on an enemy.
You need to finish a run in the birthday suit to unlock the possibility of obtaining this weapon. After that, you can potentially buy one from the merchants around the map and then just shoot an enemy to get this achievement.



With Time to Spare: Finish a run in under 15 in-game minutes.



Speedrun Strats: Finish a run in under 12 in-game minutes.



Distortion Is Too Slow: Finish a run in under 10 in-game minutes.



These are actually quite easy to get in the end. All you have to do is to finish the game and to beat the time empress (easy, right?). This will unlock you the Deity suit, which will start with the Bugtracker as both starting weapons. The videos below show how op the new suit is, and I was easily able to do a run in less than 6 minutes while not avoiding damage.

Unscathed: Take no damage in a run.
Easiest to do in the Deity Suit. Video below




Untouchable: Take no damage in a run in Earth Unleashed.
Same as Unscathed achievement, but with more mobs.

This section contains some tips I found helpful. These might help you progress through the story if you get stuck.

General tips:

• In DE and EU runs, you need to collect 4 time machine pieces. In the bottom left of your screen you will see a minimap which shows the locations of bosses. Bosses which you fight in the overworld are marked in light colours, and dungeons are marked in darker colours. The game points to the next boss with an arrow in order light-blue -> blue -> light-red ->red.
  
  
• The dungeon located in a red dot is usually the hardest one. I usually go to the red dot first as there is a high change you will die there if it is a hard dungeon. However make sure you have good resources as there are no merchants to buy stuff from.
  
  
• The minimap shows a lot of goodies. Normal chests are marked as brown dots, weapon chests are yellow, green merchant is green and black merchant is gray. If your weapons are running out of charges, you can find new ones more easily looking at minimap. The dots only appear when you are close enough to them, but they will remain there for the entire run.
  
  
• The minimap in a dungeon shows the layout and location of switches and doors once discovered. When you activate a switch, the room which is unlocked will start flashing. You can scout a room by briefly visiting it, and the room icon will turn bright and all doors and switches will be visible. If there is nothing appearing in the map, it is safe to ignore that room as it has nothing to offer but chests, and they are usually not worth the effort (unless you are low on recourses).
  
  
• Use the merchants to buy usefull stuff. Green merchant offers heart, armour or keyes for purchase, and black merchant sells weapons costing 48, 60, 480 or 600 coins. The weapons you buy from merchant are stronger than those you find in chests, so take advantage of that.I suggest using the green merchant to buy armour if you are low on health as you get more than from buying the heart pack.
  
  
• Golden chests found behind locked doors in dungeons give stronger weapons than those in the overworld or in not locked rooms. The weapon is however random, but if you need both health and new weapon, going to a locked door can prove usefull. You can spy from an adjanced room what 3 items there are in the room before opening it, if you are low on keys.
  
  
• Do not rush. You have plenty of time to complete a run, and as long as you have at least 30 seconds left before encountering the Meiun, you should not have any problems timewise. Collect every clock you find if you think time is running out.
  
  
• Press "spacebar" to dash. This helps you avoid enemy projectiles more easily. Be careful with timing, as there is a small cooldown between dashes.

Weapon/Enemy:

• Know your weapons and enemies. Experiment which weapons are good against which enemies and try to save powerfull weapons. General rule of thump is that enemies which try to punch you can be puched fairly safe, and those who try to shoot you, shoot back.
  
  
• Use your items. Use damaging items when facing a large quantity of enemies or strong bosses, recourse potion when needed and lockpick potions when there are chests on screen. You lose all items which you don't use after a run, and they make your job significantly easier.
  
  
• Shoot the room you are about to enter in a dungeon. Some rooms have bats in them, and those charge towards you upon activation, giving you almost no time to react before they hit you. There are many other enemies which chase you, but I find the bats fastest.
  
  
• Wait before shooting teleporting enemies. In many cases, the enemy may warp just as you shoot, avoiding the bullet entirely. Best way to hit them is to use fast projectile weapons straight after they teleport, almost always hitting them.
  
  
• There are many different variations of the same enemy, some which are hard to beat. There is the normal version, which doesn't look much of a challenge. Then there are those who have crowns, which mean they are stronger versions of that enemy. Purple health bar means that it is the strongest of that type and can prove difficult to beat. The harder the enemy means better the rewards.
  
  
• Kill those enemies you think are the biggest threat to you first. Enemies which chase you are good to kill first, then shooting enemies, then globs/wandering enemies as they prove the least danger.
  
  
• Some enemies have a glow on them signifying a special effect on them. Learn which colour mean which effect and act accordingly. The most dangerous is the purpleish glow, which summons a glowing ball that follows you and does damage. These enemies should be killed as fast as possible, as the balls last for a long time and move fast.
  
  
• Black/Blue goo does nothing but slows you down. Damaging goo can be dashed through without taking damage, and is usefull to know when surrounded.

Suit specific tips:

Scientist suit:

The Scientist suit is the "normal" suit. Special effect is that you get instantly revived once when you are killed. It has 100 health/armour. There is not much one can say about this, other than try to not die twice.t

Ninja suit:

The special effect of ninja suit is that it has a passive knife throwing ability which is helpful for doing extra damage. The suit has only 70 health/armour, so you might need to be extra carefull not to take damage.

Magnet suit:

Magnet suit's special effect is that it attracts nearby objects towards you. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. Bad thing is that it attracts chest which you might not wish to open so you need to be carefull not to waste your recourses. Sometimes the chest will block your passage in a dungeon and you need to wait for it to move enough for you to slip through.

Gym suit:

The gym suit is a double edged sword. Special effect is that weapons use no durability, but they get heavier as time goes on. When the durability bar of weapon is green, there are no drawbacks. When it turns darker, it means it is slowing you down. Wearing heavy weapons makes you extremely slow, but you can still use dashing to maintain dodging ability. One good tip for gym suit is to use 1 weapon you like, and the 2nd weapon switch whenever you find a new one. That way you can maintain great firepower without sacrificing mobility.

Birthday suit:

GLHF. 40 hp/armour mean you die fast, so you need to be extra carefull clearing enemies and avoiding damage. You have higher mobility going nude, so at least you got that helping you.