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TIP: DONT SUBMIT YOUR SECOND SFM TO SAXXY.
But don't stop trying to make more SFM videos.
never use the ingame feature, it always looks cheap as hell. Reduce the field of vision on your camera. Look at a few lighitng tutorials, especially on 3-point lighting. Considering you want to improve, look at loads of animation tutorials until you get an idea of how to use the graph editor, and study the 12 principles of animation. Record yourself acting out scenes for animation reference. You tried your best but do you really want this to be your best? I'm sure you can improve, and with time and effort i'm positive you'll be impressed by what you're capable of. It just takes lots of hard work, and everyone starting SFM makes stuff like this. Whether or not you want to make stuff of this quality in the next few years is up to you. Good luck :>