To get started on the path to hating Microsoft, you're going to need a few things. Here's the list:

• A PC or Laptop running Windows. Preferably Windows 7 or 8.
  
• A monitor. Preferably 1080p or higher. You want to be able to see Bill Gate's ♥♥♥♥ in his hand in HD while he ♥♥♥♥♥ you.
  
• A keyboard. I find a wired keyboard works much better than a wireless one, for ease of access. Often times wireless ones disconnect from their receiver and leave you as a sitting duck.
  
• A decent graphics card. If you have a laptop, you can skip this step.
  
• A mouse. Same as keboard, wired I find works better for accessibility. Unless you like being a duck.
  
• A headset. Preferably one that cancels out noise. It helps to be able to hear yourself being ♥♥♥♥♥♥ over, without hearing background noise too well.

For this step, you need to upgrade that good old (reliable in the case of Windows 7) operating system to Windows 10! Don't worry, it's not too hard to do. Your computer's already downloaded it and most likely by now it's already upgraded itself for you! You've now been introduced to the wonderful, sleek-looking paradise (or so you might initially think) of an operating system that we know as Windows 10. Why did they skip Windows 9? Who knows? Who cares! It's Windows 10!

Everyone knows you're addicted to CS:GO. It's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and everyone hates this game, but it's a drug. You're addicted to it. I'm addicted to it. Oprah.
Find a competitive match is this step. Fuel your addiction. No rehabilitation today.

Oh yeah buddy, this is the bit where your OS decides, and I quote, "Hi! I'm Cortana. Nice to meet you! I'm Bill Gates' loving creation and assistant. With my help, you'll be on your way to hell in no time! First, I'm going to update your PC without telling you sometimes. I'll warn you that it's going to update during 'hours of inactivity,' but don't worry too much about that. Your computer is going to restart during times when you might be doing work or fueling your addiction to online competitive gaming."
Pretty much your computer just randomly restarted. It didn't do it like a normal restart, either. Your display and sound cut off, and while you were trying to figure out what happened, your computer restarted and your display came back on! Only, with the good old notification of "Configuring Windows" that you get before you sit there for ten to fifteen minutes straight watching a percentage on the screen that tells you how far your computer has come along with updating your OS.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Congratulations! You now hate Microsoft. Not that you didn't already, in the case of you owning an xBox 360 or One. That's already given, since they literally charge $9.99/mo advertised as $4.99/mo for online multiplayer.
I'm your guide, Aberna, and thank you so much for staying with us for the entirety of this wonderful journey. ❤