Greetings, budding adventurer! Are you looking for wealth, loot and glory? Or do you just seek a mighty challenge at arms, a battle so thrilling and intense that will be sung for eternity in the halls of Valhalla? Well, look no further, as I am here to provide you with the means to get just that. My friend: you need to find some looters.

Disclaimer: players new to the Mount and Blade series may want to avoid this guide, as the enemies I discuss in this guide are extremely difficult to defeat and may wound the pride of some less experienced players.

Assuming maximum combat efficiency, this Stark warrior has a 70% chance of survival fighting a looter one-on-one.

First off, your armour. In order to defeat these villains, you’ll need to sufficient protection from their rocks and clubs. Make sure your chosen body and head armour never fall under +40, or they will skin you alive.

Looters are remarkably accurate, and the boulders they heave can shave off a significant chunk of your health. Faster characters, or characters of horseback, however, may want to forgo use of a shield in order to kill as quickly as possible, with as little damage taken as possible. Otherwise, a high-quality Knightly heater shield (typically used by Swadians) is your best choice at mitigating some damage done to you. Don’t expect it to last though.

Now your weapons. As I said before, there are two schools of Looterslayer thought: glass cannon, and tank. Your tanks will typically use a powerful one-handed weapon in conjunction with a shield and very heavy armour, and comprise mostly of players with little riding or athletics skills. If this is how you want to do it, spend no less than 20000 denars/thaler/penings on your weapon. Make sure you can block with it; when your shield inevitably breaks after three or four hits, you’ll have about forty to sixty milliseconds to block each shot with your weapon, and you’ll be glad you did. So no knives, you utter ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Your glass cannons, on the other hand, have at least 7 in athletics or 5 in riding, and wield a mighty two-hander. Which two-hander and skill you use depend on your preferred culture: Nords and Rhodoks typically go on foot, and everyone else uses horses. Also, if you do decide to be a Nord, make the decision to use a greataxe. It’s not necessary, however. You can use a greatsword if you want, it just makes better roleplaying sense. Also, the 20000 money rule mentioned earlier? Make it 30000 here. If you get caught fighting looters with no protection, your eye for quality is the only thing that’ll kill them before they kill you.

A bit of luck, and a mod or two, and this could be you. Either one of them.

Either way, it would be wise to invest some of your remaining weapons allowance into a masterwork ranged weapon. Siege crossbows are good if you’re on foot, and war bows otherwise. DO NOT USE THROWN WEAPONS. While they do a great deal of damage, looters are zippy little blighters, and you will never have enough ammunition to kill more than one of them. With their limited range on top of this, you’ll have an orgy of angry, hairy bastards weighing down on you before you can prepare another throw.

Finally, your horse. It’ll die fairly quickly under the hail of rocks converging from the enemy lines, but you might get a few kills with it. Make sure it’s fast. Very fast. And for the love of god, NEVER CHARGE STRAIGHT AT THEM. Of course that means polearms and couching are useless and you’re a total idiot for bringing it into this battle, but charging at them means that not only do they have a clear shot at your horse, but they’ll have a clear shot at you. And if you die before your horse does, you will look like a right idiot.

Lastly, make sure you’re loaded. For those times you don’t want to fight, you need to bribe. Pick on some easier enemies, like Sea Raiders or Steppe Bandits, to get you the money you need.

At least a 4 in everything, with some exceptions (specific values are enclosed in parentheses):

Ironflesh (7)

Power Strike (8) for your glass cannons

Shield (8) for your tanks

Athletics (between 4 and 8)

Riding (see Athletics)

Pathfinding (10). Looters are incredibly fast on the overland map. Make sure you or a party member can allow you to avoid any unnecessary bloodshed.

Spotting (10). See Pathfinding.

Trade (0). Let your companions do it.

Your cannon fodder awaits your orders

Make sure you can fit at least 120 soldiers in your army. You can use starter troops, like peasants, if you just prefer throwing cannon fodder at your enemies and killing them while their backs are turned, but for minimal casualties, make sure your soldiers are at the highest possible level. This will result in a decisive victory, often with as little as a 72% casualty rate within your army.

Tactics, tactics, tactics. Yes, the skill is important, but what I really mean is getting yourself into a tactical mindset. Make a habit of using the tactical map (press backspace). Split your troops wisely. The more conservative among you may divide your infantry, archers and cavalry into equal divisions and maneuver them as you see fit. Others may simply throw all their cavalry into a full out rear assault while their infantry get massacred. Use your brain when fighting looters. There is power in numbers, but only when you know how to use them.

You will lose. A lot. A few of you may ragequit at the slightest inconvenience, but defeat is something you need to learn to live with. There’s no shame in losing to looters. Odds are you’ll see your captors taking down lords and kings before you finally escape.

Now go forth and kill some looters.