Do you see this? This is a fist. It is the one, and only weapon in your arsenal you'll ever need in your conquest against doors. Anybody who tells you that kicking doors is equal, better or even fair substitute for a fist is not only wrong, but needs to be thrown down the deepest well you can find.

Fists can come in many shapes and forms; Fat fists, Bony fists, disfigured fists and even fingerless fists... If it resides on the end of your wrist, and can make a general ball shape, then you can hit a door with it. You needn't worry about any shortcomings you may or may not have that might prevent you from defeating your door foes. The only way you could not make the cut, would be to literally have no arms, and if you have no arms... Then doors shouldn't a concern of yours to begin with... Furthermore, how did you navigate a computer competently enough to find this?!? Are you some kind of armless wizard hell bent on defeating doors? What kind of sick, twisted, handicap monster are you?!?!

Clear your mind of all distractions, leave all concerns, issues and doubts outside the... uhh... door. This disgusting, foul, vomit inducing thing you see before you is your enemy. It is the very reason why everything in your life up to this moment has brought you nothing but pain, doors did it all.

Childhood dog got hit by a car? ... Doors.
Stubbed your toe in the middle of the night? It was a doorframe wasn't it.
Lost your memory in a horrible car crash? Doors did that.
Both of your parents were gunned down in a back alleyway after attending a theater show? Better dedicate your life to your new alter ego as "Doorman!", defender against doors!
Trust me! Doors did it all!

Now before you join the crusade, you must prepare your mind! Never succumb to the allure of a doors appealing shape, never lose yourself to that stylish, inviting doorhandle...

...and never even consider traversing through a door... This is heresy of the highest form!

Sure you can identify your own fist like some kind of genius. Yes!, you can understand what kind of immense threat a door can be!

But you won't crack a single peep hole if you use your fists like wet noodles left in the toilet. So pay attention closely to these complex steps that I, Door Punchin' Jim have spent hundreds of years mastering.

• 1) Make a ball with your hand. (Because any other way is called a slap, and slaps are for sissies)
  
• 2) Pull your arm back. (If you fail this step, it's just a very unimpressive fistbump)
  
• 3) Throw your arm & body forward. (Forget this step, and you're just some d**k head standing there with a drawn back fist.)
  
• 4) Hit that Door! (F**k Yeah!)

Follow these instructions, and you'll be taking down doors like a champ!

Now you have everything you need to get out there and take down every door you see! Remember these important rules, steps and pieces of advice, and you'll never go wrong.

One thing you must ALWAYS be careful of! Never abuse your power. You now possess the skill to fell mountains, obliterate Gods and even stagger Chuck Norris Himself!
This power has been designed for doors and doors alone!

... and remember kids! Join the Door Punchers steam group to connect, discuss and organise all things door punching!

Punch on!