Firstly, we take a look at the spycrab.
A magnifecent creature which has been featured all across the badlands.
Top tip: Do them no harm, because there aren't many left of this species, and we want them to live.

To become one of these creatures, you must master the way of the crab walking.
Step 1: crouch down and look up, then slowly start holding your w key.
Step 2: Hold your disguise kit, whilst doing the walk.


















Stats:
Health:125
Overheal:185
Attack: 0. This is a peaceful creature
Defense: 0, unless übercharged

Another fine peaceful creature. They're often seen in valve servers, and are sadly a target for the F2Ps (see page 4). These Hoovys are very sensitive, and if you damage them, you will probably loose the fight, as they are equipped with a mini gun.
Top tip: Always say yes to a sandwich, and do them no harm!

To become one of these creatures you must learn the way of the sandwich:
Step 1: Get a sandwich and a cute loadout... and a minigun just in case.
Step 2: Give out free sandwiches.
















Stats:
Health: 300
Overheal: 450
Attack: 200, if harmed.
Defense: 100

The Pootis Bird is a rather rare species.
Usually found in non-valve servers, but they're still hard to find.
What we know is, that if you hear something saying: POOTIS POOTIS POOT POOT POOTIS POOT POOT POOTIS, that means that you have probably found one.

To become one of these creatures, you must master the way of pootisness.
Step 1: You must get the hats: Chicken Kiev and red army robin.
Step 2: Spam X and 5.












Stats:
Health: 300
Overheal: 350
Attack: 200, if threatened
Defense: 75

These are the people of the gibus.
They are mostly found in Valve servers.
Even though they are a threat to others, they are more danger to themselves than anyone else.
They are the F2P gibus men.

To become one of these you must learn the way of the Gibus
Step 1: Dominate someone wearing the ghastly gibus and the pyro vision goggles
Step 2: wear the hats!















Stats:
Health: Depends on the class
Overheal: Still depends on the class
Attack: 50 no matter what class
Defense: 40 no matter what class

Along with the pootis bird, there are a lot other birds.
Here are the names of the hats:

Soldier: Freedom Feathers
Sniper: Sir Shootsalot
Medic: Medimes
Demo: Mann-Bird of Aberdeen
Heavy: Chicken Kiev

These are the people who pray to Gaben before bed.
These are the people who play the game all the time
These are the people who pay to play.
These are the cool taunting P2Ps.

To become one of these, you must learn the way of Gaben Giving.
Step 1: buy lots of hats, keys and taunts.
Step 2: put them on.











Stats:
Health: Depends what class
Overheal: Depends what class
Attack: 500 - 2000
Defense: 100 - 500

The Dapper Cool and Intelligent Scouts (or just DICS for short), are known for theyre complete lack of mercy towards other players. They're often found in Valve servers, dominating the poor and confused new players. They can be spotted by they're usually pink loadout, and other cool hats.











Stats:
Health: 125
Overheal: 185
Attack: 1000 - 2000
Defense: 100 - 350

This is the annoying guy that kills you with his sword.
This is the guy yelling: THERE CAN BE ONLY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ONE! all the time
This is the Demoknight

To become one of these creatures, you must learn the way of the demoknightz
Step 1: get some boots, a sheild, and a sword
Step 2: right click to charge against enemys then hit them with the sword














Stats:
Health: 175
Overheal: 260
Attack: 750 - 1000
Defense 300 - 600

A species hated by many, and targeted by many P2Ps (see page 6).
Somehow there are still millions roaming the Valve servers.

You dont want to become this species... but why the ♥♥♥♥ not learn the way of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.
Step 1: Hold W and steer with mouse
Step 2: Hold Mouse1/Fire Button














Stats:
Health: 175
Overheal: 260
Attack: 50/50 if 0 or 100
Defense: 20

MeeMs are a species of wooden cutout TF2 Freaks created by YouTube user OluapPlayer. It made an appearance in many TF2 videos, mainly made with Garry’s Mod. MeeM made its first appearance on May 11th, 2011 in the video Gentlemanly Demo’s Greatest Duel.











To become one of these creatures you must learn the Order Of The MeeM.
Step 1: Turn yourself into a wooden medic target
Step 2: Say MEM all day long


Stats:
Health: 150
Overheal: 225
Attack: over 9000!!!!
Defense: Its wood so... infinite

Thank you for reading my book of TF2 creatures.


Leave a like if you feel "LIKE" doing it, and I'll maybe make more.