Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2

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A Guide On The Different HoovyBirds
By leg and 1 collaborators
Hoovybirds, a bird common in halloween. But what are they about anyhow? If you happen to stumble across one, this guide may help!
   
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♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ PART 2?!?!?!?!?!?
That's right.
I got off my lazy @$$ for once.
Now, It's not done yet, but what I can reveal about it...
1. There are more Pootis Birds
2. Any birds from this guide are not going to be copied and pasted onto the second
3. We now Include ALL BIRDS.
4. We need Ideas.
So, any birds you want to see on the new guide? Write them NOW in the comments. I'll actually look at them for once!
What are Hoovybirds?
Well, hoovybirds are, simply, a heavy with a bird for a head. Some may call them "Pootis Birds", but this is only due to the fact that these species will say "Pootis" alot and have them in their name constantly, but the scientific term is the hoovybird. You can only find them in specific servers or on halloween, but are pretty common when such things happen. What should you except when you find one? Well, read through and find out.
(To note, I have made this guide because of the people who read my last guide, not because of "Oh, i want to be cool")
(This guide is about looking to see what you and others like to put their chicken kiev with, so it is sort of to give you new ideas)
A Hoovybird
Needed: Chicken Kiev (not going to show this for all of them since you will need it for everything below)
Of course, why not start off the guide with something simple to understand? Hoovybirds without any of the cosmetics below are... well... Hoovybirds. They can be a long range of things, friendly, not so friendly, maybe even a tryhard. These heavies are unpredictable, so watch out when you find one!
The Free-To-Poots
Needed: Ghostly Gibus, Pyrovision Goggles

Another common poot, these F2Ps will have untradable and uncraftable chicken kievs that they got from a halloween event, then go around and may shoot things or even sound like a little kid at times. Warning about these poots, they really don't care about being a poot
The Unibirds
Needed: See below

This specific line of hoovybirds are very complicated, so instead of reviewing everything, here's my guide to a simpler one:
My Unibird Guides
The Pootis-Bear
Needed: Bear Necessities, Warrior's Spirit

These aggressive birds are no fear of fighting and will happily come to punch your face right into your stomach. Fearless fighters, but sadly the bear they have killed to become said Pootis-Bear has covered their eyes, so they can only sense your movements. Be careful where you step!
The Weezard-Poots
Needed: Point and Shoot, Freedom Staff

The Weezardz are magical beings, hoovybirds that have been cursed by the wicked merasmus. These birds are magic users, preferring to use spells that lay around and his staff rather than a minigun or such modern weapons. If you see spells coming from this hoovybird, watch out! They can be more harmful than any regular class with a spellbook
Space Ka-Poots
Needed: MK 50, Immobile Suit

Ka-Poots live in constant fear of being invaded by aliens, them taking down the barrier of gas and sucking us into space. Because of this, Ka-Poots WILL shoot anything that looks remotely like an alien, even if they are on their team. They always have their minigun ready, but when out of ammo, low on health, or have the inability to shoot their target, they will run away into either their own spawn or into the nearest death zone. If the aliens want to get these birds, they will have to revive their corpses.
Banana Birds
Needed: Potassium Bonnet, Any shirt for heavy /w Australlium Gold Paint

Ah yes, the Banana Birds. These birds are simply a hoovybird who... um... *ahem* "Liked" bananas and had offspring... Anyways, besides the orgins, these hoovybirds have a fruit-like look with the head of a bird, so comes the name. They usually act more passive than normal, but it doesn't mean they are limited to any weapons/personalities. These birds just like the way they look for the most part.
Do watch for the green ones, as those birds are just little banana birds, meaning the mother may attack you
Pootis Claus
Needed: B.M.O.C, Christmas-y Shirt, Festive Minigun, Festive Sandvich/Shotgun, Festive Running Gloves of Urgentcy

These birds, similar to penguins, prefer to stay near places with a chilly atmosphere. Unlike penguins, these birds wear a santa hat, have lights and wrapping paper on everything they own, and LOVE the snow. Yes, these birds are abundant in christmas time, but it isn't hard to find them in non-winter zones. The only downfall to them being somewhere hot is that they are out of place and can't use the falling snow to know where it is going. The santa hat it wears by murdering a mall santa is too tight on it's head, so it needs the snow to know where it is going.
Don't get on this guy's bad list, bad kids get rotten eggs laid in their throat
"Heavy will now lay egg... In your mouf"
The Chico*ks
Needed: Cockfighter, Hunger Force, Frying Pan

The Chico*ks were once just hoovybirds addicted to video games, but some found themselves in a game called "Scribblenauts". They were able to make so many creations, these birds couldn't help themselves and copied off the look of the main character by... Oh god this again... "Liking" Roosters, then having offspring. These new breed really didn't care much for the outside world, and mostly stayed inside, using headphones, never changing undershirts, and using the frying pan they eat their bacon off of to scare off intruders. Sounds alot like the kids nowadays

Roosters are still called co*ks, right?
(don't answer that)
Zombie-Poots? (Semi-Inspiration)
Thanks to: CSGOrage(dot)com tom(dot)kent for leaving the idea
Needed: Sucker Slug (Painted A Distinctive Lack of Hue), Voodoo-Cursed Heavy Soul, and Bat Outta Hell
The bane of all Space Ka-Poots, these hoovybirds have been killed in their battles of handing out sandviches and tickling spies. Doing so, they have not been able to respawn, so they were replaced with new birds with the same cosmetics to trick you into thinking that they are still alive, but they really were just about to be recylced into an invisible incinerator. This usually works out, but on very rare moments in Watergate, some of the alien's dogs have escaped their masters, needing to find a place to hide. Most of them decided to lock themselves in crates before suffocating due to lack of carbon dioxide (They are aliens). But, some of the smart ones have found a tappable resource in these bird's skulls and have revived them. We are not sure how many there are left, but here is a picture on what they look like:

If you do find one, watch what it does and report back. We still need info on these undead
Right Hand Pootis Man (Semi-Inspiration)
Thanks to: RawrFez for the idea for the fez!
Needed: Tsarboosh, Triad Trinket (Bear)

This guy, he is the Mafia Poot's Right hand man. If someone loses a finger, he is the one who does it. If someone is a suspected a traitor, he spies on them. If you look at the boss a funny way, he shoots you in the foot. If his wife is yelling at him to get milk and eggs... Well... He is sort of a slave of sorts, he doesn't really want to do it, but can't get out of it.
The Poot of The Law (Semi-Inspiration)
Thanks to: HaloMad➍➍ for the idea of the Law!
Needed: Law, Hunter Heavy, Crossing Guard

Jay Walkers Beware, This poot is here to mess up anyone's day. Well, he's a cop, so he can't mess with you if you don't break the law, but he CAN. Just look at that train crossing sign he found stolen from a nearby robber. He isn't afraid to break the law HIMSELF- Nevermind, the police got him for it.
PootisBorn (Semi-Semi-Inspiration)
Thanks to: Dr. Zombine #PrayForParis and iamkittycatz For the Idea!
Needed: Dragonborn's Helmet, Warrior's Spirit/Apocofists

Behold, the almighty Pootis Born! After slaying the mighty dragon with their minigun, they were blessed with the almighty power of vision with their eyes closed, and for more powerful dragons, the Ultimate Taunt Kill! Except all heavies can do it with their normal fists... Well maybe not THAT powerful. These birds are just looking for dragon-like beasts, so watch out pyros and prehistoric pullover users!
The Pootis Man From a Sandvich Land (Recommended)
Recommended by: Super Putin(Scrap4Unusual)
Needed: Sandvich Safe, Sammy cap, Sandvich, and Bread Bites (optional)
These Hoovybirds, Well, They love sandviches! They will give out sandviches to people who need it, friend or foe. They will even eat it themselves. If you see one, give it a sandvich.
Tuff Buff Hoovy Stuff (Recommended)
Thanks to: Lvl. 7/11 Flootz -RB- For the idea for this one!
Needed: Heavy Lifter, Merc's Mohawk (Painted Mann. Co Orange)

These heavy birds, being picked on by other birds superior to it, felt weaker compared to other birds. What did they do? Well, they ate some protien seeds, lifted some weights, and fluffed their hair up to look more mean. These birds will try to attack you with their bare fists, but show them a rocket or two and they will run for the hills. They are still weak hoovybirds after all
русская тяжелая птица (Recommended)
Thanks to: Allahu Snackbar For this suggestion
(Try using google translate if you are confused)
Needed: Officer's Ushanka, Commissar's Coat, Apoco-Fists (optional)

These hoovybirds, another flock who can't see because of their hat, uses the sounds of your heart to track you down. The harder it beats, the more it knows where you are. These birds only know their allies if the sound of the heart is russian, as that is these birds home country! These birds could always take their hats off if they needed to see, but doing so would bring shame on their nests, so they wear it blindly and proudly.
Glory To Arstotzka!
Pootum Birdimus (Recommended)
Thanks to: HaloMad➍➍ for the idea!
Needed: Big Chief, Little Red Robin Bird, Warrior's Spirit (optional)

This is Chief Pootum Birdimus. On shoulder, Son Poom Poom Flyary. Poom Poom Flyary, too young to flock alone. He from, Pootum Tribe. Pootum Tribe, invaded by wizard with deer hat. Locked up, Poom Poom Flyary hide on shoulder. Weird deer, Put in Shiny hut. Put in machine, There two Pootum Birdimus, two Poom Poom Flyary. "Doop-il-ca-ton" Menn say. Poom Pooms, Birdimus's keep "Doop-il-ca-toning". Now Birdimus very upset, honorable death he had.
Oogh
Pootisauras Rex (Recommended)
Thanks to: HaloMad➍➍ Once again for helping out!
Needed: Prehistoric Pullover, Tyurtlenek, Ham Shank

Aha! You thought this hoovybird didn't have eyes and relied on your movement like jurassic park, huh? Well, your wrong, as it is colorblind in the eyes on the side of his head, only being able to see movement! He is just a failed experiment that escaped the lab, and started a new wild species. That meat he has? It is the last scout he killed. Run.
RUN.
Eye of the Pootis (Recommended)
Thanks to: Puds1 #PrayForParis for this suggestion!
Needed: Weight Room Warmer, Pugilist's Protector, and Killing Gloves of Boxing/Gloves of Running Urgently

He's got the eyes of Muhammad Ali, The one hit KO of Mike Tyson, This bird is ignoring your quick-fix medic and going straight for YOU. After one kill, he doesn't just stop there unless your team is nothing but engineers. He has the crits, and he will take one after another until your entire team has their faces mixed in with the back of their hair.
Or he will be backstabbed by that spy-Ohhh...
Bird Lost at Sea (Recommended)
Thanks to: Deathrowboat For the suggestion!
Needed: One Man Army, Bull Locks, Conscientious Objector (optional)

The poor bird. He was lost at sea, trapped in a crate he had opened for some 0.33 refined strange.
After reaching land, he realized that it was like the wilderness, so he searched the wilderness for food, shelter, and somehow found a sign. Sadly, he couldn't write "HELP ME" as decal tools were as rare as an unusual, so he was trapped there waving his sign at airplanes. He later found out that he was at a public beach in the winter a few seconds later. No wonder it was deserted.
Mafia Poot (Recommended)
Thanks to: http://gtm.steamproxy.vip/id/crazyjackbob101 (and maybe others) Who posted this idea!
Needed: Capo's Capper, Evitction Notice, Family Buisness, Tomislav

Ay you. What chu doin lookin at our Boss like dat? He don't take kindly to strangers, he'll shoot your head clean f@cking off if he don't like ya. His Hat? Buddy, we are trained to kill people who even f@ucking looks at it. For you though, I'll let you off easy (Shoots off your kneecap).
And don't f@cking come back whining to us you piece of $h!t
Phonophoot (Recommended)
Thanks to: Moon Melon for the idea for this one!
Needed: Phononaut, Die Regime-Panzerung

This bird, Being second class to the Space Ka-Poot, Were about to fly to venus as the birds were genetically modified to hopefully stand the heat. While taking off though, the Space Ka-Poot saw a fly on the top-left of his helmet, freaked out, and sent the rocket straight into the scientist's lab. Phonophoot, ignoring any sense of logic whatsoever, had been shot out of the rocket and thrust into the bowels of venus, luckily landing on the candy town's cotton candy statue and landing on his feet. He saw the Grand Duchress Fairy and... (turns away from guide) Excuse me? Oh, he was just high on acid and crashed into an orphanage hospital? Whatever, my part is still alot more beliveable.
Old Man Poot (Recommended)
Thanks to: Grampa Gmod For this suggestion!
Needed:
Option 1: All-Father, Marxman (Drab)
Option 2: All-Father (Aged), Marxman (Aged)
Optional: Freedom Staff, Conscientious Objector

This old poot has no energy to roam around and shoot miniguns anymore. He usually sits in the corner of the spawn saying about his days in the war and how we didn't have cosmetics like they used to have, with only 2 slots and such. Honestly, don't listen to him, someone probably poured acid in his coffee
Team P(oot)layer (Recommended)
Thanks to: HaloMad➍➍ for Another Idea!
Needed: Team Captain, Siberian Sophisticate

Now, lets get real here. Most of these hoovybirds on this list, they all are either friendly or not with weird methods of attack. This guy, He isn't one of them. Team P(oot)layers are the birds who actually take action, attacking people with his weapons as he chooses. He doesn't care about the rules of the hoovybirds, he is a true Tf2 "Tryhard" as most call them.
Party Pooter (Recommended x2)
Thanks to BroughRough #prayforpari and 2manydogsᕦ( ͡° ᴥ ͡°)ง For the idea!
Needed: Party Hat, Merc's Pride Scarf, Holiday Punch, Fishcake, Citizen Pain/Tomislav

Ah yes, the Party Pooters. They sound like really fun birds, and they look like that too. For all of it though, they are quite expensive at 10 loafs per hour. That and they do tend to accidently murder children trying to make them laugh, but still, 10 loafs? Jeez.
This Poot (Too much Recommendations)
Needed: Dadliest Catch

Fine. You want this bird? Here he is. Two big eyes, and all.
(insert funny text because i'm too lazy)
(I'm not changing this btw)
The End?
Well, how was this guide? Was it worse than the unibirds? Better? Unoriginal? Or maybe you just want to reccomdend a new hoovybird? Well, post it down into the comments, i'll read them whenever possible.

UPDATE: So, Many people have been adding new things, and that is good and all, but i have currently lost my love for making them. I have ideas of making a new guide soon, so hopefully that can entertain you

UPDATE #2: Nevermind. Add more for now
544 Comments
Alain 2 Jun, 2022 @ 10:54pm 
donde el tunomente cabra pootis
Munchroom 12 Dec, 2021 @ 6:59am 
Mushroom
76561199086926583 3 Mar, 2021 @ 7:10pm 
Apparatchik's Apparel + Winter Woodsman + Chicken Kiev = Kievan Woodsman
rocky 8 Feb, 2021 @ 8:32am 
pootispencer here
Dr.Sex 4 Nov, 2020 @ 2:16pm 
this is horrible.... i like it
Sgt.Skeleton-Nose 1 Nov, 2020 @ 9:48pm 
I wonder why I added this guide to my favorites in 2015...
pogger 11 Sep, 2020 @ 10:45am 
I love this
Jon Arbuckle  [author] 30 Jul, 2020 @ 4:26pm 
die
Aphea 2 Jul, 2019 @ 11:38am 
I have spotted a zombie poot in my game and I observed it and from what I know the zombie poot will have an abundance of chicken kievs and the other cosmetics then they will convert others until the server is full of zombie poots in witch you must fend off with the pootisgun
YingYang 1 Jul, 2019 @ 4:42pm 
Vulpoots Vultpoots (i.e. vulpes vulpes, the red fox) Chicken Kiev + Head Prize (Cream Spirit) + Any other misc