Please be aware that after not playing tf2 for a while I have stopped writing this guide...
Thanks for all the support on it!

Welcome to Hoovie Land a world of Hoovies, Pootisbirds, Russian Dancers and all the other friendly Hovvie types!
In this tutorial I will tell you how to identify them, get them as pocket hoovies, become one and much-much more!
I recommend you check this tutorial out too: Here [not mine]

Hoovies have a almost infinite amout of Sandviches and Friendly Actions, He will help you if you dont kill him, they dont pose threat to anyone until they get attacked!
Oh yeah, and keep this in mind!
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A Basic Hoovie or Sandvich-ous Dispenserous, can be identifyed by:

• Having their sandvich/mele out
  
• Going Crouched
  
• Mostly Having Cute Hats
  
• Dancing, High Fiving, Doing taunts

If you see a heavy doing any of these try confirming if he is a hoovie or not,
by going close to them, and requesting a sandvich from them or just taunting with them!
Be Aware if you attack hoovies they might get into a rage state where they kill everything and everyone who attacks them!
A Pootisbirds, can be identifyed by:

• Having their sandvich/mele out
  
• Going Crouched
  
• Bird-Like Hats
  
• Saying "Put Dispenser Here!"
  
• Getting on top of trees, rocks or roofs

Pootisbirds can be easily saw, so if you see them dont attack them, sadly because their lack of inteligence they are unable to defed themself.
They Natural Living space is getting smaller and smaller, Mostly becuase of Some of the Gibus Snipers and D.I.C.S, maybe even badly placed sentrys.
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UniPootisbirds are almost Pottisbirds but made from a Unicorn Heavy and a Pootisbird.

• Stuff from Pootisbirds.
  
• Having Unicron Miscs combined with Bird miscs.
  
• Saying "Put Dispenser Here", or the advaced voice lines from their unicorn set.

These endangered animals are very visible, which makes them a easy target for Most the Evil Gibus guys, so after watching many they are a endangered animals, so please save the UniPootisbirds!
-This part isnt perfect, the concept of UniPootisbirds is from a comment. Thanks!
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Heavy type, which myself could not see before, so I am very sorry I cant write much about it.

• Bear Like Items
  
• Threating look
  
• Might be aggresive

This kind of heavy is not always a Hoovie, because they arent giving you sandviches at all, mostly having steaks, but rarely giving them out, but they are aggresive too. They mostly attack when they get attacked or laught at. They offten get killed, because people (not only Evil Gibus Guys) because they do try and attack but only with their melee, which is extremly uneffective!

-This part isnt perfect, the concept of The Bear Heavys is from a comment. Thanks!
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This kind of Hoovie is a Wizard! He is a very endangered Hoovie type, they are mostly seen on Halloween servers!

• Anything from normal Hoovies
  
• Any wizard looking hat(mostly point and shoot)
  
• Of course having the majestic wiz beard the All-Father or any beard painted white
  
• Never using their minigun
  
• Mainly Freedom Staff but has been known to use a magical pan or ham

As said before they are mostly on Halloween servers, using their Speels as their weapon (or maybe even their melee). They are very endangered!
-This part isnt perfect, the concept of The Bear Heavys is from a comment. Thanks!
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From the russian maffia with love! Running from the russian police they went to the lands of Upward, while keeping their Fedora!

• Wear fedoras and suits
  
• Hiding in dark corners of the map
  
• Selling those illegal drugs and sandviches

They are often seen doing their own family business, the drugs and illegal sandvich selling...
If they get spotted by any police man, they may try hitting the cops with their high power weapon or/and run away.
-This part isnt perfect, the concept of The Bear Heavys is from a comment. Thanks!
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A The Dancovie, is not seen by a lot of people, there is only a few of them, because most of the evolved to "Trad-o-Richman-o's"

• Dancing around the map
  
• Maybe Expensive Hats
  
• Anything from before

There is realy only few of these, myself have only seen 2 of them, they might have their own servers where they organise hoovie meetups.
Never Kill them, because when they get attacked they might evolve to "Admin Abusers" or "XxX_Noscoper_XxX", which is never good. Another natural evolve form is the The Strung High Hoovie.

Starting off here you go with all the items, weapons, hats and clothes I recommend, you can go without these, but I still recommend having them.
You can become a Hoovie without anything or only with your gibus, but people might try to kill you because they will think you are a F2P and most of the F2Ps dont go friendly.
You can learn about F2Ps and a little bit about Hoovies and many other stuff in Muselks Gaming Geography.

So let me just start writing down the equipment in general words:

First will be the weapons:
I recommend the Tomislav as the primary because with it you can defend yourself from high range enemys.
As your secondary I would say the Sandvich 10/10, or something other droppable item, like the Dalokohs Bar, or the Fishcake.
As your melee anything is good, but NOT any treathing looking weapon! As best I can recommend the Holiday Punch, because making people laugh is great as fun (Thanks from comments!) or the Ham Shank cause it looks very funny in the Heavys hand.
These can be customized as you want them, or you can sync it with your hats and miscs.


Let me just continue with the hats:
I will just link another thread: Here!, there are do some crossovers from that thread, but I did wanted to write down the weapons by myself because I think my part is different, but I his part of Hats is very great!
Very sorry for not adding much stuff here but his tutorial is great in this part!


Hard life of the Hoovies

Be very aware that there are a lot of bad players who kill hoovies, but there are ones who only kill you on accident!
And as there are different Hoovie-Friendlyness in Players, there are do servers where the players always kill you, and if you get on one of those servers you will get killed so many times you might fall off the scoreboard. Still, there are those nice servers where you can get the whole server going friendly in less then 1 hour!


So when you go on a server you gotta recon the place like a realy hunter! (Or hoovie) You have to make sure you find a good server, good hiding ways, and the good people...
A server full of F2Ps might not be the best idea, instead of that server which has many Premium or the Pro kind of F2Ps.
The Spys and the Snipers offten attack hoovies because they see easy slow moving targets which they can easily get crits [diamondback], no need for scoping out [Hitman's Heatmaker], disguise [Eterneal Reward] which make them go kill you fast and easy!

Finding a way to dont get killed

Finding a way to not get killed is one of the most needed things of being a Hoovie, when I go on a server I get to a safe spot and try spotting The Evil Gibus Guys or with other words, the man who kill Hoovies. When I spot them, I try finding a way (like in the picture under) and get past them to get into a spot where players who dont want to kill me can go taunt with me or just have fun in general.
The biggest part of being a Hoovie is getting past the Frontline to the Friendly part of the map.
Or organizing Hoovie Meet Ups, and other great partys on good spots of the map, where everyone can get togather!
Knowing your game and the map is the Key!

And this will be the BASICs of the Hoovie-ology!

Otherwise you will be reported to GabeN!