GAMBLINGS GONE PRESS F TO PAY RESPECTS

For all the new friends out there, yes you can gamble the 13 Mag-7 Seabirds you got as drops on various gambling websites. I'm not going to list them in this guide because after all, curiousity killed the cat and I promise to never lead you down that path. Anyway the websites include, but are not limited to, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥bets, csgoshuffle, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, gosugamers, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, and much, much more. You usually see these in the "Gifts given in the past two hours" box at the start of the match or in the names of people who's lives have taken a turn for worse.

Never. Ever go to those websites. You will lose.

NOTE: Everyone probably knows about the gambling scandal that's been going on (As of writing, june-july). If you feel that you want to join in a lawsuit go to http://www.jonesward.com/our-cases/class-action/csgo-gambling-lawsuit/















Lounge and Gosu are betting websites, which means that you place skins on the teams and pray to God (or allah, buddah, spaghetti, whatever you want) that they win. Remember, if the undergog wins, then it's automatically a throw. Prepare to spend a good chunk of your life analyzing pointless matches and yet, you'll still lose money. Seriously, if you're a grown man, get a real job, don't sit around and analyze pixels. You know who you are

The rest, (ie- Shuffle, fast) are potluck sites, which means that people throw items into a pot, the value of the item is relative to your chances of winning, and you'll never make a profit. You know how you hear stories about the lotto? This is basically it. Everyone thinks "Hey there has to be a winner" when in reality, you may as well be struck by lighting 5 times while a nuke accidently goes on in DC while Leonardo Dicaprio wins an Oscar and Cloud 2nd 9 get first place because unless you have 100 knives, you're probaly NOT going to win.

If you know the story of the man on the bottom, you know to stay the firetruck away from gambling tbh.

The fact that you've clicked on this guide is a good sign. The first step to solving your problems are to admit them. Say this to yourself, out loud. "Selling my kidney/blood to buy skins is not a normal thing" Unless, of course, the homeless camp you're in discourages loud noises.


If your betting addiction is REALLY serious I would advise you to call the gambling addiction hotline- 1-800-522-4700. It's 100% confidential. If you sold your phone to buy those valuble pixel skins, then just go to your local library and visit

http://www.ncpgambling.org/help-treatment/national-helpline-1-800-522-4700

or any of the dozen addiction hotlines/websites.

Turn steamguard on and off

Another way to deal with your gambling addiction is to turn steamguard off. Not only will this prevent you from trading while your steam guard is off, even if you turn it on (shame on you) it'll take 15 days for you to trade again. Remember, resist those urges.

Get support from your family/friends.

Assuming your friends didn't leave you because "Heyyyy mannnn, let me borrow your flip knife, no way fnatic will lose against CLG, ez skins", they are a great source of help. Talk with them, explain your issues, get them to help you, have them strap you to your bed. Seriously, get help.

Donate all you skins to me

No skins to bet, and free stuff for me. Win Win



Lobotomize yourself

Self explanitory.

Turn off your computer/ press the X button

Self explanitory, also works great for cyber bullying

Remove ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥/ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥/ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥/ ect from your parental approved list

You know how when you were a kid, your mom would always turn on parental controls so that you couldn't watch any porn because she was afraid you'd see her in a video didn't want to expose you to that? Same principle here, put on your big boy pant and block them. Remember, slam your keyboard when it asks you to make a password so you can't just disable it. If pro CSGO players do it while making their names, it should work for you.

Get addicted to something else.

Hell, since you're playing csgo and are probably russian, just go get a krokodil addiction instead, it's probably safer and a lot cheaper

Convert to islam

Gambling is ABSOLUTELY HARAM. Not to mention you can pull off some sweet cosplays

NEW: Smash or sell your phone! With the advent of steam mobile authentication, you now need a phone to trade. Just sell your smartphone and get a flip phone (To call addiction hotline) and you'll never gamble again! Just disreagard the looks from using a flip phone.

Just a little reminder why not to gamble

Well you went and done it. I just want to congratulate you! You're doing the right thing in life.


But now that you're past the allure of pixel skins, the tempation of ez skins, the high of tense games, the rush when you win, the soulfull forlorness when you lose, the joy of bragging when you win, the bitterness of being mocked when you lose, the never ending ez skins, ez life, ty for skins X fangays, or hell, the Kappa, Vac, and the X take my energy spammed in twitch chat. You're probably thinking about the good old days, how fun it was, how easily you could go back. Well DON'T.

Subliminal Messaging

What to do what to do

Jeez, just play the game like Gabe Newell intenteded and never, ever thing of betting again.


And that concludes this days guide, if you want more, refer to my guide on how to bet succesfully.

For reading through my guide, you deserve at least this.