The first movie ever made was shown in Paris for the first time, on March 22 1895. This was a little while before the first video game appeared on Steam. Of course, since then, a lot has changed. For example, sound was first introduced in 1889, and Charlie Chaplin made his debut in the classic 1914 flick Making A Living.



However, even to this day people find it rather difficult to watch a movie properly. So much so that every year, 1900 moviegoers nationwide reportedly die while visiting a movie. Causes vary from disliking the movie to losing consciousness due to imaginary 3D effects. You must be well-prepared when attempting to watch a movie. Below you will find a couple of tips to avoid common mistakes unexperienced cinemaphilles make.

1: Always be prepared for the worst.
If you accidentally bought a ticket to Comedy Sequel 15, be prepared for the consequences. Permanent brain damage or PTSD are not uncommon when having watched such terrible pieces of cinematographic garbage.

2: Eat and drink reguraly.
600 of the 1900 people that die every year when watching a movie pass away due to dehydration. It is of the upmost importance that you drink and eat enough.

3: Always trust Metacritic.
When a Metacritic score is low, it automatically means that the movie is bad. No exceptions. You are prohibited to have an opinion of your own. Don't believe me? Ask the relatives of the 224 victims that ignore this rule every year.




4: When the movie is 3D, glasses are required.
Feeling rebellious? Refusing to take on your 3D-glasses when the cinema asks you to? Then there's no hope left for you. Just do what you are being asked. The cinema is your best friend.

5: Han shot first.
Don't deny it. If George said so, than that's just the way it is.

6: You don't steal a car.
You don't steal and old woman's purse.
You don't steal a TV.
You don't steal a movie.

PIRACY
IS
STEALING
TOO.

(Piracy is a crime)

7: Snape kills Dumbledore.
But Snape dies in the end anyway. Oh wait, I forgot the spoiler alert.

10. Ducktales the Movie.
9. Street Fighter: The Movie.
8: Spy Kids 5
7: Up!
6: iTunes




5: Hey Arnold! The Movie.
4: Audiosurf 2
3: Mondrian
2: Brandenburger Tor
1: U2

Do I need money to watch a movie?
Probably, sometimes.

Why did you write a guide that literally didn't help anything at all? I did everything you said, and my girlfriend wanted to break up after we've watched 'Ice Age 4: Continental Drift'.
What's the problem?

Who's the best actor ever?
Jack Spearrow. Ernest is a close second.




Who wants to live forever?
Maybe.

Was this guide helpful?
Yes.