Who needs footsteps when you have VIBES? Blast Spotify at full volume and trust your instincts. The bullets will naturally dodge you if you’re in rhythm.

AWP? Too expensive. M4? Overrated. Zeus? One shot, one kill, one laugh. Always rush mid with it. Pro strat.

If your teammates can’t see the enemies, they can’t get scared. It’s called support play. Make sure to flash every corner... even if nobody asked.

Chickens are the true MVPs of CS2. Protect them, follow them, or better yet, disguise yourself among them. Nobody suspects the 6th chicken.

Crouching is old meta. In CS2, bullets go straighter when you’re airborne (trust me, bro). Always bunny hop into fights for that headshot guarantee.

Knives make you run faster. Faster running = faster winning. Science. If the whole team knife rushes mid, the enemy surrenders automatically.

Change your Steam name to s1mple’s Cousin. Instant respect. Free entry into esports.

Follow this guide and you’ll be top frag every game (or bottom frag, but that’s just because your team is stealing all your kills). Remember, CS2 is 90% mindset, 10% trolling.

💎 Good luck, future pro! 💎