Isaac_Kepler
The Guy Himself, Self-Proclaimed King of Cards, Gambling Addict, Loves The Actor(Wait, What Do You Mean That’s Not His Name?-), Only Gets Straights (Despite Not Being One),
Gamblers’ University


Fig.1- If the card doesn’t turn out to be between 6 and 9, I’m losing my house. ALL IN-
Alrighty. Hello internet everyone, welcome to my guide on how to play some card games in DST. If you have seen my other guides (probably not your case), you might notice that I’ve only written satirical guides- Until now. “Why does that matter?” You might ask. It doesn’t matter at all, this is just a subtle attempt at making you check out my other guides without you even realizing it, how does being manipulated by me feel like, huh?
Jokes aside, I won’t be writing this guide under a fictional comically exaggerated character’s name. “So everything you write in this guide is what you actually believe in?” Haha, no. Maybe yes. Maybe not. Ah, the wonders of post-irony! Good luck figuring it out-
As I was saying… In this guide, I’ll teach you NOT ONLY how to get a full deck and the whole wazoo, but also how to play some of the MOST CLASSIC AND POPULAR card games to impress all your friends in your classroom! because EVERYONE loves gambling! Since humans have been humans, we’ve been wagering irresponsible amounts of something valuable to us in the dubious probability of something happening, so why not do that in DST as well, betting all your meat stews in a quick ol’ match of Texas hold’em?
With all the seriousness, I LOVE GAMBLING. It is one of the best things that humanity has ever invented- And it saddens me to see that many people, specially the younger generation, DO NOT KNOW any gambling games( Preferably card games), and, if I were to guess, you too (YES, YOU) don’t know as well. But don’t worry, because the King of Cards is here to help you and your friends by teaching a way to get BANKRUPT! YAY-
(Quick note: Throughout this guide, I'll be referring to tables/desks, despite the fact that you can't play in tables in DST. By that, I mean the floor, because where else would you be able to play?)
Anyways, this is getting too lengthy. Your attention span is already waning away, HEY DON’T LOOK AWAY HERE’S YOUR QUICK DOPAMINE DOSE! HERE HERE A SUBWAY SURFERS COMPILATION WE’RE ALREADY BEGINNING THE GUIDE-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ghSziUQnhs&pp=ygUUc3Vid2F5IHN1cmZlcnMgY2xpcHM%3D

Fig. 2- Live reaction of someone trying to get a full deck (Pain, but worth it)
“Cool, Isaac, but HOW TF AM I GETTING A FULL DECK?” Glad you asked. Could’ve been a bit nicer tho. Well, unless you’ve been living under a rock Unlike a certain friend of mine which may or may not be called GregoryFS08, you might’ve seen that DST had a collab with the famous game Balatro. (If you don’t know what it is, it’s basically poker but Joker is joking his balatro-), and in this particular collab, PLAYING CARDS WERE ADDED. Actual playing cards that can be stacked and used to play actual card games. You don’t know how much I came that day. I could only dream of one day Klei adding REAL GAMBLING to DST, and that one day was… 1 month ago?♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, i’m getting old, I was just born 4 years ago
Anyways… Getting a full deck isn’t hard… technically. All you have to do is play Jimbo nonstop, as, depending on how well you score, Jimbo will give you a certain amount of cards. There’s only one tiny problem: The spawned cards are random, so you’ll very likely get repeated cards, over and over again. “Is there a.. shortcut, Isaac?” Sure is, dear soon-to-be gambler. TMIR. “TMIR what?” TMIReez nutz Too Many Items Revisited. Download the mod and spawn as many cards as you can. They’ll still come at random because there aren’t dedicated codes for them in the mod, but it’ll speed up the process. Do it until you get 52 cards, divided in 4 suits, which are divided in 13 ranks-
“Wait wait wait wait wait, Isaac! WTF are “soots” and “rangs”? Explain it, please!”
Sure I will. Let me break it down to you * starts beatboxing*

Fig. 3- All the suits of the French deck. FRENCH?? AH HELL NAH
In the French-suited cards (of which we are playing with, and YES, there are other types of card decks, but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves), there are 4 SUITS: Diamonds, Hearts, Spades and Clubs. Think of them as families/clans, with 13 members each ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, that’s some huge ass family, is this Fast and Furious now?. In DST, each suit also comes with a different color to help differentiate them (unless you’re colorblind, if so, my bad): Blue for Diamonds, red for Hearts, black for Spades, and green for Clubs. The color alone already helps you to distinguish the suits, although their icons are pretty deductible as well. Although it might not seem something relevant, the suits are a vital part of consecrated every card game, but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves again- I’ll explain it once we get to the game rules.

Fig. 4- All the ranks of a French deck.
The number/letter under the suit symbol is the RANK. There are 13 of them in each suit, and now that I think about it, “rank” gives off more vibes of a military organization than an actual family, which is sad, because we all know that family is what matters I swear, I’ll stop with these Fast and Furious references. They go something like this, from the usually lowest to the usually highest:
A- Ace. In some card games, it is the lowest rank- In others, the highest. It depends on the rules of the card game- Or the mood of the players.
2 to 10- The pip cards, they are self-explainable. In some games, their order isn’t respected, but don’t worry about those details for now.
J- Jack. No, they are NOT the Joker. Why so serious? In many other languages, the jack is called “knave/valet”, but in English we call it “jack” because at first, the limeys didn’t know what he was, and once they found out, ‘Muricans started printing the numbers/letters at the cards, and how the King already had the K, they went with “J” of jack instead of “K” of knave.
Q- Queen. Self-explanatory? I mean, I don’t have any fun facts about queens to share with you. What are you waiting for? Keep going.
K- King. The badass of the deck. The most powerful card (Or one of) in a myriad of games, sometimes only loses to the ace, for some reason.
This is your usual order. Now, mind you, SEVERAL (and I REALLY mean it) card games follow a completely different hierarchy of cards, and sometimes some of these cards ARE NOT EVEN TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT AND ARE COMPLETELY DISCARDED (E.g. Euchre), but let’s not focus on this for now. As I briefly mentioned previously, the Js DO NOT STAND for Jokers, and never will- It doesn’t really help the fact that there are no jokers(which are usually only 2, the red and the black) in the DST deck, which is pretty ironic, considering you get the cards by playing a poker game with jokers… Make that make sense, I guess. But yeah, games that actually need Jokers to be playable are impossible to play in DST, sadly. Petition to make Klei add Joker cards. NO MATTER WHAT, NEVER, BUT NEVER, shuffle more than 4/5 times. Don't do it. Trust me. The deck will f*cking EXPLODE and some of the cards will be LOST.
Alright, I think I explained all the context I needed to explain. Shall we move to what REALLY MATTERS, THE GAMES THEMSELVES?
“Thank God! Hurry, Isaac, hurry!”

Finally, what everyone was expecting. After all, you clicked on this guide for this, right?... Right?

Fig. 5- HOOOOLYYYY, TEXAS BETTER HOLD ME BACK, CUZ I’M GOING CRAZ- ugh
DIFFICULTY: Easy-Moderate (2/4)
GENRE: Vying
PLAYERS: 2-10
WHERE IT’S PLAYED: Everywhere
PERSONAL NOTES: Memorizing the combinations is rough, but not that bad.
Poker, if not THE, it is one of the most known card games IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. Due to its insane amount of fame, it has developed a series of variants, but here (for now) I’m only addressing one of them- Texas Hold’em, the most known variant of all them.

Fig. 6- Your table should be looking like this in the second round.
Texas Hold’em is a “shared card poker game”, AKA most of the cards you’ll use will come from the table, and not from your hand.OMG, COMMUNISM??? IN MY CARD GAME?? AH HELL NAH How poker involves gambling, I suggest adding “game chips” (gems are a good suggestion) or some sort of currency that could be wagered during the gameplay.
First and foremost, every player shall get 2 cards (kept away from everyone else), and check them. After that, in a clockwise direction starting from the guy to the left of the dealer(the guy supposed to deal the cards, or just the guy who shuffles the deck), every gambler is given 3 options: Fold, check or raise.
“What do these options do, Isaac?” If you FOLD, it means you have basically given up from the match; you put your cards back to the deck, and you only get to watch the rest of the match as a spectator, just like IDubbbz gets to watch his girlfriend until it ends and a new one starts. You don’t get to recover the money you bet during the match after you fold.
If you CHECK, it means you pay the amount as given by the previous players: The first player and the second get the Small and Big Blinds, respectively, with the Small Blind being half of the Big Blind- Despite this, everyone who comes after the second player gets to wage only the Big Blind(or higher, but let me explain it later), and if everyone checks, the game progresses to the next round of the match.
If you RAISE, it means you’re raising the amount that every player must wage; technically, there are no limits to raising, but I suggest having common sense, as once someone raises, EVERYONE ELSE (even the first and second players) must check (the more appropriate term would be CALL, which means you’re matching the raised bet) the new amount- That is, if no one else wants to raise it as well. If so, the cycle of torment and agony repeats again, until- you guessed it - everyone checks.
Now to the next round: 3 cards are turned face up in the table- called the “FLOP”-, just like in picture 6. And just like in the previous round, in a clockwise direction starting from the guy to the left of the dealer, everyone gets the option to FOLD, CHECK or RAISE, and yadda yadda yadda.

Fig. 7- The third match, as it should look like.
After everyone checks, it’s time for the next round: the fourth card is open, and it is called the “TURN”. Repeat the same process, as done in the previous rounds.

Fig. 8- The fifth round, after the river is revealed, everyone checks and now it’s showdown.
After that, the fifth card is opened and revealed in the table- The “RIVER”. I’m not the one who gave these names, y’know.. Rinse and repeat.
Now that you’ve all checked, it’s time for the showdown. Drop your cards for everyone to see, and compare your combinations to see who got the best one-
“But, Isaac, what are the combinations? You didn’t tell us!”
OOPS, my bad. In this game, you make combinations of 5 cards- 2 coming from your hand, and 3 coming from the table (This combination is mandatory). The rank is as follows, from the lowest to the highest:
HIGH CARD (5 random cards: A-7-3-4-6)
PAIR (One pair and 3 random cards: 2-2-3-7-10)
TWO PAIR (2 pairs and 1 random card: 4-4-6-6-8)
THREE OF A KIND (A triple and 2 random cards: 7-7-7-4-2)
STRAIGHT ( 5 consecutive cards, BUT NOT of the same suit: 2-3-4-5-6)
FLUSH (5 cards of THE SAME SUIT, but NOT CONSECUTIVE: 4-6-9-K-J)
FULL HOUSE (A triple and a pair: 8-8-8-Q-Q)
FOUR OF A KIND (1 quad and 1 random card: J-J-J-J-7)
STRAIGHT FLUSH (5 consecutive cards of THE SAME SUIT: 5-6-7-8-9)
ROYAL FLUSH (A 10-J-Q-K-A straight of THE SAME SUIT. The rarest and strongest move.)
If two or more people form the same type of combination, they must check which one forms more points.
E.G. Jack and Jill formed a pair. However, Jack formed a 8-8 pair with one 8 from the table (just as a reminder, but you NEVER pick up any cards from the table, you just compare them at the showdown), while Jill has a 3-3 pair. In this case, Jack’s pair is stronger, therefore he wins.
The same happens more or less with the rest of the combinations. If the players’ hands somehow are the SAME (with only the suit varying), then the pot (that should go to the winner of the match, and contains all the bets made during it) shall be shared equally by the lucky bastards.
Also, before I move on to the next game: The Ace, despite being the most powerful card in the game, can be used as the lowest card in the straight A-2-3-4-5. Despite that, it cannot be used in straights like K-A-2-3-4, as it’s not the lowest card in the hand.

Fig. 9- Jack Black, huh? I’m not making this joke I’m not making this joke I’m not making
DIFFICULTY: Easy (1/4)
GENRE: Banking
PLAYERS: 2-8
WHERE IT’S PLAYED: Everywhere
PERSONAL NOTES: The way I play is simpler than this, but let’s move on.
Blackjack might be the most known game of the banking genre ever- Wait, IT IS. The fact it’s spontaneous and fast-paced definitely makes this game one of my favorite, and definitely the favorite of many, many gambling addicts who now live in the sewers of Las Vegas and have the chance of drowning every time there’s a flood there because the city CONVENIENTLY FORGETS there are people there and dump ALL THE FLOOD WATER there. Now that i’ve put it like that, it doesn’t sound that good now
For this game, you’d need 6 52-card decks, but I don’t see the necessity of that; 1 full deck is enough, trust me. Anyways, this game depends on a dealer to run everything and compete against the players, otherwise it gets a bit too sloppy.
The goal of the players is to try getting closer as possible to 21 than the dealer(through accumulating cards which are worth their ranks, e.g. a 5 is worth 5 points. Face cards(J,Q,K) are worth 10, while A is worth 1 or 11, depending on what is better for you) while ALSO trying to avoid getting PAST 21- which is called BUSTING. Did you seriously think it’d be that easy?
The game begins with everyone betting any amount of chips before getting 2 cards, which must be dealt face up in the table, with the exception of the dealer, who gets to have one of his cards face down. If the dealer’s face-up card is a 10 or an Ace, the players are given the choice of doing an INSURANCE BET; it consists of being half of your original bet and you only win it if the dealer has a Blackjack (starting cards that are worth 21, in this case, a 10 (or a court card) and Ace). If the dealer in fact has it, the round ends and everyone who paid insurance gets their money 2 dollars from pot:1 dollar bet. unless you’re playing in the US, so chances are your insurance will be canceled, but don’t worry, you can just shoot If he doesn’t, then everyone who bet on insurance loses it. If a player has a Blackjack, then he must be paid 3 from pot:2 from bet. If a player AND the dealer have it, they must share the winnings equally.
The game doesn't end if a player has a blackjack; in fact, he just gets paid and all the others continue to play. Now in this round, everyone is given 4 options: HIT, STAND, DOUBLE DOWN and SPLIT-
"What do these actions do, Isaac? "Stand"? Is that a JOJO REFERENCE?"
...
If you HIT, you are given another card, face up in the table(or floor). You can hit until you stop or your points go past 21.
If you STAND, the dealer will understand that you're a p*ssy you don't want to get more cards and want to stay in the way you are right now.
If you DOUBLE DOWN, you wage an extra bet equal to your first bet (and place it next to it) and you get an extra card and is forced to stand, no matter how many points you made. Due that and the fact that you can only do it when you only have your initial cards, it is recommended to do this if your hand is pretty good.
If you SPLIT, you place an extra bet equal to your original one and your cards do mitosis. Literally. They turn into 2 separate hands, and they have the usual options of hitting, standing and doubling down (no splitting, because this is blackjack, not biology class.). HOWEVER, this move is ONLY POSSIBLE if your initial cards are of the SAME RANK. e.g. 2-2, 6-6.
After every player does what they had to do, it's time for the DEALER to play. Unlike the players, he doesn't have the option to triple down or f*cking do literal mitosis and meiosis or whatever; he only hits until he decides it's a good choice to stand. If the dealer BUSTS, ALL the unbusted players (no matter if they scored 20 or 2) get paid 1 pot: 1 bet.
If the dealer DOESN'T bust, the player who got 21 in that round (A Blackjack you got in the first round doesn't count) wins the match and get paid 1 pot: 1 bet; if the dealer got it, then everyone loses duuuh ;if no one got 21, than the highest combination wins by 1 pot: 1 bet. If someone ties with the dealer, the player's bet is simply returned to them, with no winnings at all.

Fig. 10- Rummy is best played with rum.
DIFFICULTY: Easy (1/4)
GENRE: Rummy
PLAYERS: 2-6
WHERE IT'S PLAYED: Everywhere, specially its variants and other members of the family
PERSONAL NOTES: This is the basic rummy; I might talk about its offspring in later chapters.
Rummy, despite not being a really popular game PER SE, wooh, fancy words! the games that trace their origins back to this game are. Chances are that you've never heard of basic rummy, but of gin rummy, for example. Despite that, the game rules are pretty simple, definitely simpler than the rest of this list.
The rank hierarchy is the standard one: A is lowest, K is highest. To all players are given 10 cards (if only 2 are playing), 7 cards (3-4 players) or 6 cards (5-6 players), and the game rotates clockwise. The point of the game is to get rid of all your cards just like Diddy somehow got rid of 3 criminal charges .
"How do I get rid of them, Isaac? I mean, I could just throw them away easily."
Well, my dear, you discard through actions you do during the gameplay:
On your turn, you must/can do:
- DRAW A CARD. You MUST draw a card from the deck OR the discard pile (it is recommended to put a card there first so you can have said option) and add it to your hand.
- MELD. Melding is the main way of disposing cards. Melds are combinations of cards that, once formed, must be put face up on the floor (or table, whatever you want to call it). To lay down one, you must form either a sequence of cards of same suit or a set of cards of same rank that consists of 3 or 4 cards. This move is optional.
- LAY OFF. There's a reason why you must put the melds face up in the floor; you can lay off, that is, add a card to an existing meld in the table. For example, you can add a 2 to a meld of 3-4-5. HOWEVER, you CANNOT rummage through see what I just did there? and rearrange the melds just so you can lay off a card. e.g. You can't break a 2-2-2-2 set to add one of the 2's to a 3-4-5 sequence in order for you to lay down an A. You can't do it. Despite it, this move is also optional.
- DISCARD. Unlike the prior 2 moves, this one is mandatory. You must pick 1 card of your hand and add it face up to the discard pile. (It should be obvious, but you can't pick and discard the same card you picked from the DISCARD PILE.)
The game continues until someone disposes all their cards, just like I disposed an "oddly heavy" trash bag and now I'm being investigated by the cops. zuh, what do they against me?. If that happens, the game stops. If you want, you can play it with scores; if so, once someone wins the match, everybody counts the points in their hands ( Face cards-10 points each; Aces-1 point each; Number cards- Worth their face value), and the winner gets all those points. You can keep playing until someone beats a certain mark. markiplier?
If the deck runs out midgame, pick the discard pile, shuffle it, and put it face down.

Fig. 11- The type of game your grandma would play on the family's Windows PC.
DIFFICULTY: Easy-Moderate (2/4)
GENRE: Sorting Solitaire
PLAYERS: 1
WHERE IT'S PLAYED: Windows Everywhere
PERSONAL NOTES: The gameplay isn't that hard to understand, but to play...
Klondike is the most known version of Solitaire ever. Yes, I know I have been saying it about every game until now, but it is in fact really popular, thanks to Bill Gates, that reptilian from the Illuminati who added it to Windows and yadda yadda yadda.
Before starting the game, you need to set up the table: 7 piles of cards (known as tableaus oui oui ), with each one having one card more than the previous one. The top cards are always face up. The remaining cards are laid face down to form the stock. Above the cards, there are 4 foundations (more or less marked in cobblestones in fig. 10).
The goal of the game is to move to the 4 foundations 4 sequences of ALTERNATE COLORS(Clubs and spades are "black", and hearts and diamonds are "red". How DST uses a 4-color pattern, I'd recommend memorizing this combination) going from Ace to King. Yes, you literally have to reorganize a full deck in this game. What did you expect from a game played by only ONE PERSON? Anyways...
The gameplay consists of pretty much moving the cards to other piles to form sequences, and potentially finishing the game. The face-up cards can be moved from one tableau to another to form a sequence, as long as the card being moved is ONE RANK LOWER than the other card. e.g. You can move a 10 from its tableau to a tableau with a J on top, but not the contrary, or even a 9 to a J. Once you remove the top card of a tableau, turn up the next card.
"What if I have a sequence on a tableau of which the higher card is one rank lower than the top card of another tableau?" You can move it, feel free to. Entire sequences can be moved like a single card.
"What if I have an empty tableau?" You can only move a King (or a sequence with a King) to there.
"Can I move a card from the tableau straight to a foundation?" As long as it follows the Ace-to-King sequence, no problemo.
"What if I can't move/turn up any other cards?" Pick 1 card from the stock, and see if you can match it.
"What if it doesn't?" Put the card on the waste pile and pick another. Rinse and repeat.
"What if there's only the waste pile?" Pick it up and make it the new stock.
"What if I can't do any moves AT ALL?" Then you lost. Yes, you lost a game for 1 PERSON. Don't blame yourself though, the game is quite hard.

Fig. 12- A solitaire match midgame. Notice how solitaire I am. omg, NAME DROP!!
(While I was posing for the pictures, I realized that you can't pick a card from the deck face down. My solution for that is either trying to not pay attention in the cards so you'll forget what they were, or have someone else to organize the table for you, but this last option would beat the whole purpose of playing solitaire... Unless you're doing a competitive solitaire or something.)

I guess that's it for today. As I mentioned before, I might write many other chapters, each one consisting of 4 games as well, all connected by something in common. Maybe- I'll think about that later. Also, I'll be asking apologies in advance if I didn't explain something right or if my jokes are too bad; I have yet to improve in both. If you have ANY QUESTIONS about the rules or something, feel free to ask me in the comments below; I'm usually online (although I'll be offline for this whole week, so uhhh ask them anyways and I'll answer them later).
Where was I again....? Oh yes, the bet... I hope I got the all-in -

Fig. 13- NOOOOOOOOOOO I LOST MY HOUSE! ALL BECAUSE OF A STUPID JOKE!
Homelessness aside, now that you're here, PLEASE consider LIKING, FAVORITING, SHARING and COMMENTING on this guide; it helps me a LOT. Also consider following me on Steam for more epic guides teaching you how to gamble. If you don't mind, also join my Steam group Colonial Diner Studios; I'm looking forward more gambling addicts in my server. If you allow me, I must go now- I'm going to go double or nothing in red dog and, if I lose, I'll become his personal servant. What could go wrong? Wish me luck!