Star Fetchers

Star Fetchers

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How to turn your life of fearless fightcluber into an empty husk
By LostInTheWoods
Do you want to be the number one champion of Pork Belly? Do you want to become the very best? The best around? The best that ever was?
Do want to turn a fun game into a mindless slog that will make you confront your own mortality?
Well that guide is made for you!
   
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Step 1
Beat the story mode
Step 2
Play the endless mode
Step 3
Play the game normally until you reach the second boss
Step 4
Have fun
Step 5
Now that you encounter only regular ennemies, start spending your cash in the shop on basically any upgrade you can put your gruby hands on
Step 6
Reach a point in your upgrades where you can basically defeat any ennemy in just on strike
Step 7
Continue to buy upgrades, especially the Wallet
Step 8
Continue to defeat ennemies to stack some dough
Step 9
Spend your money on the Wallet upgrade, again and again
Step 10
Realize that you cannot speak to Nevada anymore, she only repeats the same sentence
Step 11
Continue to defeat your ennemies one after the other, as if on a factory line
Step 12
Cpntinue to buy upgrades, but honestly is there a point now? Your ennemies have barely started to grow a 10,000 HP bar while your punches deals damages in the 100,000, even in the millions...
Step 13
Continue this endless cycle of beating up ennemies and buying upgrades
Step 13.5
Realize that you know how Saitama must feel
Step 14
You don't even know how much you have earned anymore, the icons for your upgrades hide the amount of cash you have. You can buy any upgardes any amount of times you want you never seem to be in the red anymore
Step 15
Realize that you haven't been on the healing menu in a while. What was it like again? It all seems so far away... so faded...
Step 16
The amount of damage you deal is reaching numbers that you cannot pronounce anymore. You are far beyond the billions, the trillions. You realize that you can even let ennemies punch you to no end, you have bought so many helmets and barbed-wire that they kill themselves before hurting you to a significant extent
Step 17
You start to buy the protein powder upgrade in bulk, telling yoursel that if you reinforce your ennemies enough, you might be able to be confronted to a challenge once again
Step 18
It does not work
Step 19
Also now every fight earns you thousands of dollars, making you even stronger
Step ...
Start to ask yourself if it really is how you are spending your time? Just clicking on upgrades just to see the number of damage of your punches grow up? For how long? For what? How many time have you spend here? You used to love this game, it was fun and challenging. The banter was funny and sometime touching. Sometimes you would win a fight within an inch of your life. You think you remember the feeling of fun, of joy... but you are not sure anymore.

Now only the number exists.
Step 5.1577948319012907E+20
Remember to have fun and be yourself!

1 Comments
Van Nills 29 Jun @ 5:54pm 
This was art thank you