The first thing you’ll do is pick an army. Your choices range from "Romans: Masters of Everything" to "Gauls: Party Hard, Die Fast." Let’s break it down:

Romans: When in doubt, go Roman. They’ve got professional soldiers, well-oiled war machines, and the confidence of people who’ve never tasted ketchup.

Barbarians: Ideal if you enjoy running at things while shouting. Armor is optional; courage is mandatory.

Greeks: Fancy themselves as intellectuals, but they’ll still poke you with a spear if you come too close.

Egyptians: Love chariots and cats. Mostly cats.

Persians: Have more units than you have fingers. Quality? Who cares when you can overwhelm the enemy with sheer numbers?

Others: Do you enjoy underdogs? Good luck.

The battlefield is a grid, because nothing says “epic combat” like playing on a giant piece of graph paper. Here’s what you’ll see:

1. Hills: Great for hiding your troops, terrible for your enemy’s horses.


2. Forests: Perfect for ambushes and tick infestations.


3. Open Ground: Where dreams go to die when you charge cavalry into spearmen.


4. Rivers: Crossable, but not advisable unless you're leading an army of ducks.

Deploying your army is an art form. Here’s a foolproof plan:

1. Put your strongest units in the center. Nothing screams intimidation like a wall of heavily armed dudes.


2. Stick archers in the back. Because arrows hurt more when they come from a safe distance.


3. Place cavalry on the flanks. They’re basically the battlefield equivalent of spicy chicken wings—fast, dangerous, and can cause serious regret if mishandled.


4. Hide your weak units in forests or behind hills. Out of sight, out of trouble… until they’re needed as bait.

Each turn is your chance to shine—or trip over yourself. Here’s how to play it cool:

Movement: Units move like chess pieces, except they might throw a tantrum if you make them walk too far.

Combat: Select a unit, click on an enemy, and pray to whichever deity you think might listen.

Melee: Up close and personal. Great for asserting dominance.

Ranged: Less risky, but also less satisfying unless you're the "death by 1,000 paper cuts" type.


Morale: Units that see too much death might decide they’d rather be anywhere else. Keep them inspired, or they’ll run faster than a cheetah on Red Bull.

FoG2 isn’t about precision; it’s about making the best out of a bad situation. Some tips for handling chaos:

Flanking is King: Hit your enemy in the side or rear. It’s dishonorable but effective, like eating the last slice of pizza when nobody’s looking.

Terrain Matters: Don’t fight uphill unless you enjoy losing and looking stupid while doing it.

Watch Your Generals: Keep your generals alive. A dead general is just a fancy corpse.

Win or lose, every battle in FoG2 teaches you something valuable, like:

Winning: Feels amazing until you realize you have to fight another battle.

Losing: An excellent opportunity to reevaluate your life choices.

Draws: A polite way of saying, “Nobody knew what they were doing.”

1. Don’t Trust Auto-Battle: It’s like letting your cat play chess. Entertaining, but doomed.


2. Elephants Are Not Invincible: They look cool but die faster than your Wi-Fi during a Zoom call.


3. Read the Tooltips: Or don’t. The thrill of not knowing what’s happening can be half the fun.


4. Have Snacks Ready: Battles can take hours. You’ll need sustenance to outlast the digital carnage.

Congratulations! You’re now ready to conquer the ancient world—or at least fumble your way through it. Remember, the most important thing isn’t winning; it’s having a good laugh while sending your virtual soldiers into hilariously improbable situations.

Good luck, commander! And remember: if all else fails, you can always blame the RNG.