Half-Life: Alyx

Half-Life: Alyx

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How to scratch your ass while playing Half-Life Alyx (or any other game)
By Darth Greyder
Playing VR is supposed to be fun, however, there is a chance that your ass will tingle, This usually means that it's itching and needs scratching therapy ASAP. So here is a guide to help with your tingling dry ass.
   
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Following these steps will make your ass feel normal again.
1. Take off your headset, (if need be)
2. Set your controllers down
3. Stick your hand behind you and underneath your undies.
4. Move your fingers back and forth until your ass feels normal again.
5. DO NOT sniff your hand, as the smell may cause you to faint. Instead, wash it, or spray it with Ax body spray.
6. Put back on your headset and grab your controllers.
7. Shoot either a zombie, combine soldier, headcrab, etc.
8. Scratch their ass, and slap it if possible.

Why is my ass itching?
Usually this occurs when your ass wasn't wiped properly. After eating Taco bell or Chipotle, There is a good chance that you'll have to take a nice fat ♥♥♥♥, when your done releasing the hounds. Grab a roll of charmin ultra strong. and wipe your ass as necessary. if you're too late, wipe it with a Clorox wipe, or if you have a detachable shower head, shoot your dry ass with it. Hopefully your ass feels better, Thank you for reading!
3 Comments
Fluffy 16 Oct, 2024 @ 5:42pm 
Instructions unclear, my booty clapped by four big guys
Darth Greyder  [author] 7 Sep, 2024 @ 6:43am 
Hey! Glad I could help!
Drewskinator 7 Sep, 2024 @ 6:27am 
Bro this is sooooooo useful, my ass has never felt this amazing in YEARS