Fall off the building or press M.

Press P to divorce your wife and listen to the dialogue.

Parkour your way to the striped tower, land on the cake and press F.

Landing on the tower itself will cause you to break your legs and send you back to the spawn.

Make your way over to the red tower behind spawn.


An easy way to do it would be to use the two springs behind spawn and jump to the higher roof (which we'll need later) and walk closer to it.

Make your way to the top and then press F to pick up the uranium.

Make your way back to the roof where you started walking across. Looking over the edge towards the river will be a balcony, fall onto it and feed the baby by pressing F.

You're going to have to make the trip to pick up the uranium 9 more times for a total of 10. Once you've fed the baby 10 times press F to pick him up and use the springs outside the balcony to go to the far edge of the map.


You'll find a sign that says "Sacrifice?" Press F to sacrifice the baby to Cthulhu.

Feed Cthulhu 2 more babies, meaning you need to make 20 more trips to the red tower, 30 in total.

You did it. You got all the achievements.

Don't people usually plug stuff at the end of guides? Whatever, I'm on Twitch, YouTube and Twitter if you're in to that sort of thing.