Store Page
HELLDIVERS™ 2
All Discussions Screenshots Artwork Broadcasts Videos News Guides Reviews

HELLDIVERS™ 2

Store Page
HELLDIVERS™ 2 > Guides > THETA 🌭 ZERO's Guides
735 ratings
Player Archetypes You Will Encounter
By THETA 🌭 ZERO
The types of players you will encounter online according to their stratagem preferences.
49
18
9
59
23
8
22
4
7
4
2
5
5
4
3
3
2
2
   
Award
Favorite
Favorited
Unfavorite
Created by
THETA 🌭 ZERO
Offline
Category: Characters, Classes, Co-op, Game Modes, Gameplay Basics, Multiplayer, Secrets, Story or Lore, Walkthroughs, Weapons
Languages: English
Posted
Updated
15 Apr, 2024 @ 10:31pm
24 Jun, 2024 @ 11:08pm
21,576 Unique Visitors
403 Current Favorites
Guide Index
Overview
Push CTRL + F to find your stratagem. 
NO AIM, NO GAME 
NO AIM, NO BRAIN 
PANSY PACK 
RAMBO SACK 
CUCK BUBBLE 
SHIELD GOD 
METACANNON 
LITTERBUG 
GONORRHEA GUN 
PISS CANNON 
TRASH MAN 
LEVEL 50 CADET 
GRIEFTHROWER 
AMMO DUMPER 
LMAO BOX 
BABY'S FIRST AMR 
RELOAD FETISHIST 
CASUAL FILTER 
チャージビーム 
CALLING IN A SUPPLY DROP 
MADE IN SUPER CHINA 
WHOOPSIES 
WHOOPSIES PART II 
300 IQ DEMIGOD 
GATLING MACHINE GUN SENTRY 
"JUST LOOK FOR THE RED, BRO" 
THE GENTLEMAN'S MINES 
CHAD BUBBLE 
CONTROL FREAK 
MINI METACANNON 
SUPER EARTH SUPER SOAKER 
FRESH INSTALL 
SPRAY AND PRAY 
LOL 
LMAO, EVEN 
Y=MX+B 
ROBOPHOBE 
BILE TITAN VICTIM 
AMERICAN 
BRAP STRIKE 
IT'S NOT CHEATING IF THE GAME LETS ME DO IT 
RUSH B 
שָׂטָן 
FAT SHAMER 
SISYPHUS 
WIKI JANNY 
WAR CRIMINAL 
CONTRARIAN 
GAMBLING ADDICT 
NOOB LUBE 
GUIDE READERS 
Comments
Push CTRL + F to find your stratagem.
Or use your device's page search function, for your own convenience.
NO AIM, NO GAME
Guard Dog (Gun)
  • Could hardly click the .exe to launch the game without missing
  • Shoots every patrol even before the drone does
  • Refined Fox News enjoyer
NO AIM, NO BRAIN
Guard Dog (Laser)
  • Same as the normal Guard Dog but can't handle basic ammo mangement
  • Secretly lines up so the laser hits teammates
  • Manages to hit everything but the toilet water in the bathroom
  • CNN gigachad
PANSY PACK
Jump Pack
  • Doesn't need ammo, runs away instead of shoots
  • Doesn't need health, too far away to get hurt
  • Knows how to backwards long jump
RAMBO SACK
Supply Pack
  • Doesn't even know you can give teammates ammo
  • Goes alone the entire mission
  • Calls down resupply at full ammo just to refill one pack use
  • Uses toggle for crouch like a sociopath
CUCK BUBBLE
Shield Generator Pack
  • Is so terrified of taking damage, wears the medical armor as well
  • Thinks it's important to tank one extra hit so they can miss yet another shot before dying
  • Would rather protect self than use a backpack that helps teammates
  • Wears it for bugs even though they don't have guns
  • Prefers subs over dubs (wrong)
SHIELD GOD
Ballistic Shield Backpack
  • Only ever uses SMG primary
  • Will solo-stealth every single objective
  • Is your one true love in life and perfect partner
  • Hasn't even touched a difficulty above 6.
  • Doesn't actually exist
METACANNON
Autocannon
  • Doesn't even know there are primary weapons
  • Has no idea what requistion slips are for, still looking for next autocannon upgrade
  • Would carry supply pack just for more autocannon ammo
  • Says every weapon besides autocannon is meta when there's nothing autocannon can't kill
LITTERBUG
Expendable Anti-Tank
  • Fighting game master
  • Can input every stratagem sequence in under .1 seconds
  • Knows how to solo every heavy enemy
  • Only picked up the weapon because they thought it was funny when it crashed teammates
  • Prefers dubs over subs (wrong)
GONORRHEA GUN
Flamethrower
  • Insists the flamethrower is "already good"
  • Despite this, will say it's "finally good" when it gets buffed every patch
  • Proud over a 10+ killstreak when it takes them 100x longer than a grenade throw
  • Watched over ten hours worth of tutorial videos and still catches self on fire
  • Will quote media they've never even seen
PISS CANNON
Laser Cannon
  • Calculates the precise maximum range to keep pissing on enemies at a distance
  • Wished the laser could heal teammates just so they can piss on them too
  • Will blow up the Earth in 24 hours
TRASH MAN
Stalwart
  • Hates small mobs so much that they equipped two primaries just to kill them faster
  • Has no idea how to kill heavies, runs away and hopes teammates do it
  • Will run into friendly fire and blame you for it
  • Feels especially called out by this guide
LEVEL 50 CADET
Machine Gun
  • Fell in love with machine gun the moment it's given for free
  • Never bought any other stratagems, even eagles and orbitals
  • Grinds difficulty 1-3 on a daily basis, hasn't seen a bile titan in their life
  • Probably uses coupons at grocery stores
GRIEFTHROWER
Arcthrower
  • "I'll stay back and keep them off you guys"
  • Aims specifically for teammates and thinks they don't notice the arc started with them
  • Still spends an entire minute trying to arc a devastator to death
  • Doesn't understand objectives, just thinks missions complete themselves after some time
AMMO DUMPER
Grenade Launcher
  • Carries supply pack just to spam the grenade launcher at a single scout enemy
  • Calls down a selfish supply drop when completely isolated from team
  • Still can't aim the launcher for long distances despite having 100 hours using it
  • Yells at automaton fabricators because their vents are hard to hit
  • Has at least 4-pack abs
LMAO BOX
Anti-Material Rifle
  • Manages to kill enemies before you're even aware of them
  • Aims at enemies targeted by an air strike just to kill them before it hits
  • Knows the rifle's scope isn't sighted right and still manages to land shots
  • Has to fight intrusive thoughts to kill you every waking second
  • Is secretly playing with a controller
BABY'S FIRST AMR
Railgun
  • Doesn't realize the AMR does the same thing but without needing to edge your weapon
  • Knows the exact timing before an overcharge but still forgets to reload the gun
  • Complains about having to swap out of safe mode every mission
  • Bought a pre-built PC at least once in their life
RELOAD FETISHIST
Recoilless Rifle
  • Denies the gun has recoil, isn't aware they don't notice just because it's a single shot weapon
  • Will latch onto another recoilless rifle user like a hungry tick
  • Confused why their ammo pack falls off when they pick up a tactical pack
  • Has tried rocketjumping at least once
  • There's nothing like the feeling of slamming a long silver rocket into a well greased launcher
CASUAL FILTER
SPEAR
  • LOCK ON, SERIOUSLY WHAT IS ITS PROBLEM
  • I KNOW IT CAN ONE-SHOT BILE TITANS, JUST DO IT
  • WHY DID IT WORK NOW, I'M EVEN FARTHER AWAY THAN LAST TIME
  • Can also destroy automaton facilities
チャージビーム
Quasar
  • Press and hold [A] to charge. Release to fire.
  • Additional data downloaded to Inventory Screen.
  • Press [START] to access the Inventory Screen.
  • Honestly only needed a support weapon that kills heavies.
CALLING IN A SUPPLY DROP
Heavy Machine Gun
  • Really likes firing bullets
  • Not even at enemies, I mean they just like to shoot in general
  • Will defend the heavy machine gun to their last breath despite it being a bottom 3 stratagem
  • Is dropping their use of this weapon as they read this guide
MADE IN SUPER CHINA
Exosuit
  • The unluckiest people on Super Earth
  • Will manage to get the mech to blow up before it even drops
  • Can mind control other players into shooting the mech just so they can yell at them
  • Could even friendly fire themselves before it got patched
WHOOPSIES
Tesla Tower
  • Just so happened to be wearing the armor that protects them from it
  • "Accidentally" picks this stratagem
  • "Accidentally" places it within range of teammates
  • "Accidentally" will throw it the moment it recharges rather than when enemies are attacking
  • "Accidentally" gets shot by you and your teammates when they respawn
WHOOPSIES PART II
Mortar Sentry
  • See tesla tower except they get mad when you break their sentry
300 IQ DEMIGOD
EMS Mortar
  • The best players in existence
  • Will carry you, your friends, and somehow players in a different match entirely
  • Is fat
GATLING MACHINE GUN SENTRY
Gun Sentry
  • Insists gatling/machine gun sentry are different stratagems (they aren't)
  • Denies they're similar despite complaining when even they confuse the two
  • States one is the worst sentry and the other is the best despite both being exactly the same
"JUST LOOK FOR THE RED, BRO"
Minefield
  • Genuinely gets a higher kill count on friendlies than enemies
  • Even if the weakest enemy in the game walks directly on a mine, it doesn't kill them
  • Will somehow place mines in areas both of you never even visited
  • Still walks on automaton mines
THE GENTLEMAN'S MINES
Incendiary Mines
  • Has the generosity to use mines teammates can at least survive stepping on
  • Rushed every single fire upgrade
  • Still can't kill a common mob
  • Thinks fire looks pretty
CHAD BUBBLE
Shield Generator
  • Reject cuck bubble, embrace true enlightenment
  • Occasionally crushes teammates to death with drop pod
CONTROL FREAK
HMG Emplacement
  • Doesn't trust normal sentries, thinks they emit 5G mind control signals
  • Is playing with Alex Jones podcosts blasting in their ear
  • Can't parallel park to save their lives
  • Gets the highest kill total in the whole match
MINI METACANNON
Autocannon Sentry
  • Didn't even use sentries until some random Youtube video told them to use this one
  • Their entire armor, weapon, and stratagem set is just copied from somebody else
  • Wouldn't even eat their favorite food unless somebody else told them they liked it
SUPER EARTH SUPER SOAKER
Rocket Sentry
  • Complete opposite of autocannon sentry users, just looks for what they think is best
  • Zero thought in armor, weapon, and stratagem set beyond what sounds coolest
  • Has at least a post-graduate degree
FRESH INSTALL
Precision Strike
  • Has failed every mission they've gone on, only leveled up through pity XP
  • May or may not be the account owner's little brother playing
  • Literally cannot tell the difference between this and any other orbital
  • The scariest moment of their life was fighting a lone brood commander
SPRAY AND PRAY
Airburst Strike
  • Only other gaming experience is playing DDR on keyboard
  • Doesn't even own a mouse or controller
  • Turns view using the arrow keys and throws this stratagem at the first enemy they see
LOL
120MM HE Barrage
  • Too stupid to realize 380 is bigger because that starts with "3" and this starts with "12"
  • Is the cause of your sole death this mission
  • Doesn't know the different between "its" and "it's"
LMAO, EVEN
380MM HE Barrage
  • Too dumb to know that 120MM is more concentrated, just went for bigger number
  • Is the cause of your team failing this mission
  • Absolutely horrified of using the laser in fear of a limited-use stratagem
  • Swapped proper tenses when writing
Y=MX+B
Walking Barrage
  • Like a pig, is physically unable to look up
  • Prefers a "consistent" orbital
  • The only thing they "consistently" do is mess up the timing of following the barrage
  • Cannot comprehend basic geometry, unable to identify intersecting lines
  • Unlike HE barrages, blames you for dying to it instead of accepting responsibility
ROBOPHOBE
Laser
  • Has absolutely no idea how to destroy fabricators, including that you can shoot the door
  • The concept of infiltrating a robot facility is unfathomable to them
  • Has beaten an automaton blitz mission in under a minute
  • Hordes the laser the whole mission and ends with two uses left
BILE TITAN VICTIM
Railcannon Strike
  • Invested all their resources into crowd control, can't do single target elimination
  • Doesn't know bile titans and chargers even have heads or weak spots
  • Has the inhuman ability to target the terminid scout hiding under the bile titan somehow
AMERICAN
Gatling Barrage
  • Woke up this morning to a nice cup of gasoline and a plate of deep fried baseballs
  • Entire inventory is nothing but full-auto weapons
  • Can't name all the 50 super states of Super America
  • Can't locate their own state on a map
  • Will celebrate the end of a mission by firing into the air and throwing stratagems
BRAP STRIKE
Gas Strike
  • COUGH COUGH HACK COUGH HACK
  • Claims to not have a mustard gas addiction
  • Still spends most of their disposable income on it
  • Entire house and body reeks of chlorine
  • Made committing war crimes their entire personality, voted to legalize it in their area
IT'S NOT CHEATING IF THE GAME LETS ME DO IT
EMS Strike
  • Set up macros to input stratagem commands
  • Totally doesn't cheat in other games but suspiciously knows Lua scripting
  • "Oh that game ban is just for trolling in lobbies, don't worry about it"
RUSH B
Smoke Strike
  • Doesn't even know terminid missions exist
  • Blames teammates for dying because they didn't just "hide in the smoke"
  • Said teammates aren't even on the same side of the map as them
  • Doesn't believe the smoke is too spotty and inconsistent, probably in denial
  • Goes for stealth melee takedowns only to be turned into swiss cheese by gunfire
שָׂטָן
Ö̸̜̜̖̟̿̅̈́́̄͆͒̎̋͐̇̓̔̈̌̈́̾̄͂̿̀̊̕͘͝͝ŗ̵̨̡̢̡̨̛̛̯̼̪̫̱̻͈̙͍̗͔͔͉̯͉̜̼̲̯̘̬͕̫̲̣̙̖̖̲̬̥̤̻̥͓̳̗̲̩͎͒̆̔̌̈́̔̑͑͛͆́̒̈͐̅͐͗͒̏̅̄̾̊̎̈́̆̈́̚̕̕͜͝͝͝ͅb̴̨̢̥̱̹͈̝͍̗͇̥͍̪̬͍̲̈́̂̄̅͐́̈̀̔̓̅̒͋̈́̎͂́̋̄͗̄́̊̚͜͜͠͝ỉ̸̛̛̛̛̛͓̃̇͐́̉̒̆̎̂͋͋̓͗͌́̊̒͆̂̌̀̍̑̉͛͗̀̇̋̀͛̌̄̇͑̇̅̎̽͒̇̓͒̾͑͐̒͂͒́̄͐͆͛̌̉͐̓̾̽̎͒͛͗́͊̄̋̈͐̓͑͊͘̕̚͘͘͘̚͘͝͠͝͠͝͝ţ̴̨̧̡̬̤͙̤̥̥̣̪̩͓̟̫͓͇̹̝͔̝̟̦̭̹̭̲̮̥̟͖͇̘̺̀̿̿̋͆̈̇̿̅̑̊̽̀̇̀̈́̓̓͐̍͌̿͌̿̆̄̂̓̅̈́̈͛̈̇̎̀́͐̊͗̓̓́́̍͒̊͗̿̉̅̉̈́̾̃̊̊̊́̑͌̏͊͋̂̑̈̌͒̇͘̕̕͘̕͘̚͝͝͠͠ͅͅa̷̢̨̧̧͙̲̯͓͈̩͕̖͓̹͉͕̬̯͉̪̤̥̦͕̮̬̭̗̘̍̌́̀͆̕͘͜͜͝͠l̵̡̡̡̢̧̧̡̢̨̘̲̣̺̘̺̺͔̫̮̦̱̬̲͔̦͍͇̳̠̹̦̜̣̰͇̭͍͕̙͓̦̙̜͔̙͚̹͈͍̙͔̹̳̺̰̼̳͍͉̤̹̬̝̟̞͇̝̏̂̾̂̉̽͐̎̈̑̐͆̀͌́̓͛̃̀̂̓̿̈́̏̊͆̌̏̿͋̑̈́́͘͘̚͜͝ ̷̨̡̧̢̡̨̡̟̯͓̮͔̫̜̫͉̻̬͕͕̩̮̖̱͚̲̼̬̙̲̘̜̯̼͙̗͍̥͖͙̫͚̮̞̱̮̼̖̺͎̰̖̪͇̞̣͚̖̟̳̺̳͖͔͉͈͉͔̦̰̳͓͈͉̹̎̈́̓̔͒̈́̂̍͂͐͌͛̌͌̓͌̔̂͒̉̋̓͑̈́͐͊̀̾̍̃̍̆̉̈́̈͊͗̆̒͐̇̐̂̃̿͆̔̑̈̐͂̎̓͊́͋̚͘̚͘̕͘̕͠͝ͅͅI̵̡̨̡̨̧̡̩̳͚̺̘̖̲̹͉̯̟̳̱̠͈̲̞̥͇̯̠̮̹͉̫̭̲̝̭̗̘̝̗͇͔̻̟̮̙͎͓̫̮̰͎͈̯͉͉͐̐̀̽͗̀̑̋̔͘ͅl̴̨̨̡̛̛̛̜̱̱̮̥̰̹̺͎̭͎͚̼̦̖̝̮͇̖̪̺͕̼̬̖̳̝͚̮̱̮̮̹̖̟̺͖͚̳̟̖͙͕̖̺͚̽̂̾̅͌̎̔̏̽̑̓̆́͗́̽̂̍͒̎́̃͗͌́̾͂̈́͒̋͛̿̓̈́̋͒̐̄̐̐̍̋̔̑̈́̾͛̐͒̅̋͂̃̑̑͆̕͘̕̕͘͜ͅĺ̷̨̧̧̢̛̛̛̦̱̬̲̣͇̱̤̙͖̻͈̳͙̘͙͕̩̠̳̙̱̗͉̂̿̔̃͂̎̾̏͑̽̄̍̑̊͛̈́͐̋̎̆̈́̌́̃̅̃́̾͗̐̾̆̐͒̿̐̃̓̅̇̎͛̆̍͗̇̀̀̈́̕͠͠͠ừ̸̢̡̧̧̛̗͖̦̯̩̮̭̻̩͓̮̩̮̤͚̙̩̲͍͓̗̜̻͓̠͔͉͐̆͋͛̆͂̏̏̈͂̑̉͂̓̿̆͊̏̊̎̽̓̿͑́̔̾̾̾̈́͌͊̋̀̆̑͊̊̂͐̽̍͋̐̈́̓̉̋͂́̕̚͜͝͠͝ͅm̵̨̧̧̡̧̧̘̦̻̰̥̫̙̲̩͕̰͈̯̦̥̗̯̮̥͖̥̝͕̫͇͎̹̻̘̝͇͕͎̝̿̀̽̑͗̀͊̎̑̾̃̇̀̉͊̍̏̆͘̕̕i̶̡̨̨̡̨̨̡̢̛̟͚̭̝̩̫̝͓̼̺̞̞̟̻̱̠̣̮͎͉̺͉͙̤̗͓̘̜̠̗̼͎̬̪̦̱̞͉͙͚̻̖̬̜͙͉͉͉̫͚̫̩̦̱͕̣͈̼̥̖͈͓̟̖͈͖͕̖̘̫̻̐̎̿͆̅́̊̈́̌̐̉̔̎̓̃̋̈́̎̀̀̎̎̓̉͑̉̓̈́͑̑͐̀̍́̽̓̎̓́̀̄̿̈̑̌̎̓̅̒͆̌̀̀̏̎͂̎͐͂͗̽̒͐̚͘̕̚̕̚͜͜͠͝͝͠͝͝ͅͅͅͅn̸̢̨̢̧̢̛̲̮̺̹̞̪̬̮̤͍̤̩̟̩̟̯̞̦͉̯͔͎͙͕͎̝̺̻͇͇̱̤̖̙̯̙̰̟̮̦͇̦̙̬̰̹̣̱̥̝͇͕̜̳̠̩̞̩̬̜̹̠̦̮̠̹̞͕͈̗̤̺̩̖̤͓̼̻̲̥̩̄̈́͋́̏̀͆͊̒̈͂͌̒͌̕͜͝ä̶̢̬̭͈̺̗̠͕̭͍̟̗̣̭̳̮̯͓̺̝͇̦̜̜̬̜̦̖̫̱̺̙͔͍͎̪̺̭̤͓͕͖̣̬͚̦́̊̈́̿͑́̓̽͐̍́̓͘͘͜͜͝ͅţ̴̢̧̢̡̡̡̢̧̨̗̺̘̯̬̠̮͕̜̣͇͍͇̞̘̳̠͔͔͔̭͖̬͍̬͇̠̬͕̫̜͉̻̲̟̭͕͔̹̮̘͕̬̞̖̼̜̣̥̭̝̙͉͚̪͖͙̹̤̤͖̙̜̙̥̹̐̌̔̇̈́̏́̔͑́͗̄̍̄́̋̏̄͘̕͜͜͝͝ͅi̵̡̛̳̼̲͉̥̩̣̙̙̺̘͔̖̱͛̃̋̉̆̍͐̈́̈̒̾̃̊̿̇̉̋̂̈́̓̏̃̔̊͘͜͜͝͝o̵̻̣̮͐̀̿̅̆̄̈́̄̏̓̇̚͜n̷̢̢̨̧̧̨̢̢̨̨̢̡̡̡̛̛̛̛͔̣̱̟̪͖̺͇̣̦̱̮͖̥̳̯̺̳̳̬̻̠̯͎̪̙̫͙̱͎͙̙̟̗̻̞̗͉͓̮͚̼̜͙̹͉̪̖̣͖̹̟̖̩͍͇̦̻͇̦͈̜̗͖̹̫̠̼̳̻͈͋̀̏̑̑̅͑̓̂̆̾̊̈́͆͌̉͂͊͐͛̅́͗̅̊̆̓̈́̔͋͐̌̆͆̈́̅̿͋̋̈́̅̀̓͋̎̔̒̍͛͑̃̅̄͋͛́̇͆̋̍̍̇̀̊̈́́̔͗̓͐͋̈͑̐̀̚̕̕̚̚̚͜͜͝͝͝͠͝ͅͅ ̴̡̢̡̱̬̮̠̫͎͚̗̫͕̗̹̭̘̙̺̖̮̈́̋̓̉̉͗̑͛͑̃̅̔̇͑́̃̋̑͋̋̌̎̒̏͌͗͋͒̊͌̑̌͒̑̌̔̓͘̚͘͝͝͝͝ͅF̶̢̡̡̨̨̞̺̬̳̹͇̭̻̻̠̜͎̲̤̠̪̱͚͚͍̰̠̪͉̟̖̖̘͉͙̞̳̲͕̞̬͍̱͎͚͙͈̯͔̣̯̳̪͈̦̖̟̘͎̠̒̋̆͋̑͐̑̀͛̍͋̇̓̅̌̇̊͛̍͋̓͌̉̈́̀̋̊̒́̒̚̕͘͘̚͜͜͝͠͠͝ͅļ̸̨̡̧̢̛̛̛̛̳͖̼͈͎̥̰̟͔̲̹̣̜̬͖̥̣͙͔̤͍͎̥͓̩͉͈̩̬̪͉̜̯̱̲̭̟͕̥̼̹͍̰̖̙̤̟͍͕̜̤̙̗͚̜͎̹̤̪̟̗̟͙͔͔̭͈̞͓̱̤̞̣̝̥̪̖̜̋̋͛̍̽̿̀̉͊̽̋͒̈́͐̈͛͋̍̆̅̿̆̑̔̀͆̽̌̎͗́͋́̀̅̒̈́͒̅́́̊̆̑̐̈́̈̇͒͗͑͆̆͒͑͊̑̂̓̊̍̐̾̒̒́̆̎̒͌͑͋̋̈̆̂͛́͊̐̾̈̕̕̚͘̚͜͜͜͠͠͝͝ͅą̸̨̛̛̛̛̺̝͍̖͍̲̠̹͕̮͙͍͓̰͓͉̭̜͙͚̹̳͕̗͖̺̳̗̙̬͉̖̝̙̗̻͛͐̅̄͗͐̈́̋̄͊̓̽̍̈́̂̍̈͋̈́̎̄̾̓̎̐̿̆͆̀̏̉͛̏̿̎̂͋̇͛̓́͒̅̍͊́̾͌̆͌̄͊̌͗͌̓̽̈́͗̾͗̍́͆̓̊̅̓̍̀̾͋̃͐̔̾͐̈́̈́̎͘͘̚̚͘͝͝͝͝͝ͅr̴̛̛͇̠͔̣͚̮̤͓̟̙̠̟̼̞̺͖̯̞̞̦̺̻̿̅͊͆̉̎̽͆̂̂̎̿͂͌̆̀̃͆͒̅̈́̽̽͋͒̄̊̌̅͂̏̏͊̏̔̈́͐̆̆̀̾̍̿͂̅̔̋̅́͛̃͆̂͛̐̇́͛̚̚̚̚̕͘͜͝͝ē̶̢̢̢̨̛̫̘̗̗͙̺̝͍̹͉̭͔̫̗̟̻͎̪͍̗̖̻͔̹̳̙̜̮̤̝̺̰̼̻͚̱̬͖̪̲̻̫̺̖̣͖͔̙̩͙̰̠̺̻̲̪̜̳̦̬̭͔̥͎̰͒́̉̿̉͆͋̆̀̈́͆̇̇̊̀̈́͌̀̆́̅̔̃̇̕̚̕͘͘͝͠͝ͅͅ
  • Knows what should not be known
  • Cursed you by the knowledge they exist
  • Is behind you right now
  • Don't look, they'll know
  • Prefers quiet restaurants when you take them out for brunch
FAT SHAMER
Eagle Strafing Run
  • Specced entirely into killing heavies
  • Not a single weapon in their inventory fires conventional bullets
  • Will panic and drop a suicide eagle strike the moment a hunter touches their pinky toe
  • Skips leg day, body is shaped like an upside-down triangle
SISYPHUS
Eagle Air Strike
  • Complete opposite of the Eagle Strafing Run, has no explosives whatsoever
  • Only means of destroying buildings is this air strike
  • Refuses help, spends entire minutes throwing 5+ air strikes at a bug hole they keep missing
WIKI JANNY
Eagle Cluster Bomb
  • Addicted to all forms of Helldivers media, reads it on the toilet, at work, and to sleep
  • Knows that cluster bombs don't destroy buildings or friendly mechs
  • Has zero practical experience, constantly underestimates range of cluster bombs
  • Has gotten a triple kill on friendly teammates at least once
  • "Sorry, I didn't think it would reach that far" UH-HUH, SURE
WAR CRIMINAL
Eagle Napalm Strike
  • Still thinks the Super Viet Cong were the bad guys
  • Lacks the fabled "media literacy" which is spoken of only in legends to Helldivers players
  • 20+ killstreak on every napalm use
CONTRARIAN
Eagle Smoke Strike
  • Is "not like the other divers"
  • Hates the mainstream so much that all their life decisions is the opposite of the mainstream
  • Isn't aware this still means the mainstream dictates their personal choices
  • Prays for the day this is buffed, doesn't consider they'll drop it when other people use it
GAMBLING ADDICT
110MM Rocket Pods
  • Could one-shot a bile titan, could not. Who knows?
  • Consistently can stick the stratagem to a heavy as if it matters with this stupid thing
  • Has staked at least triple-digit money in casinos before
NOOB LUBE
500kg Bomb
  • The grand puba of "bigger number = bigger result"
  • Uses 500kg bomb on everything, fingers reflexively do the stratagem input in their sleep
  • Would 500kg bomb their front lawn if it needed mowing like they do all their problems
  • Doesn't know what a "kilogram" is
GUIDE READERS


Literally You
  • Thinks nothing on this list applies to them when they act exactly like it
  • Takes this guide's descriptions as a personal attack
  • Will stop using their stratagem because people made fun of them for it
  • Believes this guide is similar to another one despite them being completely different
  • Is thanked for reading the guide anyway
146 Comments
< >
Remo 18 Sep @ 4:05am 
He's not wrong about EMS mortar. It doesn't kill friendlies, affects enemies, and helps you win. Literally nothing ever wrong with EMS mortar. LOL
vammo 16 Aug @ 7:52am 
personally i do apply to 380 strike
taserface1514 9 Aug @ 11:24am 
Metacannon for life
ThaTylar 5 Aug @ 6:25pm 
Hey, I am the one who rations my tube launcher. I only use orbitals on encampments. But do Dark Fluid Jump Pack and the Warbond Stratagems.
NoSignificantHarassment 4 Aug @ 5:43pm 
very funny, I got to admit that the Eagle strafing run is pretty accurate lol
GriffinBeSniffin 2 Aug @ 7:36pm 
the cuck bubble had me dying
Hexproof 31 Jul @ 4:16am 
Guilty:steamfacepalm: set up for most missions: 500kg eagle, commando/arcthrower/railgun,
jump pack, non-eagle orbital or a sentry
silly 24 Jun @ 6:01pm 
500kg Bomb
-Realized you can have two
-YOU CAN HAVE TWO WHAT THE FUCK
Rookie 11 Jun @ 10:43pm 
Air burst
-just wants to watch the world burn
-like the cluster guy but doesn't even tries to hide it
-will try to use flak n flying enemies...... he will fail
-will try to kill heavys but will also fail
-teammates will try to have mercy......they will fail
(I like the air burst)
Rookie 11 Jun @ 10:39pm 
W-A-S-P launcher....why? unless its squids just why? pick the spear or the grenade launcher you cant use both (all three bot WASP fans are about to crawl out of the walls)