Counter-Strike 2

Counter-Strike 2

87 ratings
HOW TO BE THE WORST TEAMMATE IN CS2
By Den Innvandreren
Summary: This guide will teach you the many different ways you can consistently be hated by your team.

1. Never use your microphone
Why do your teammates need to know where the enemy is? They're more than capable of finding them on their own. Besides they're trying to listen for steps they don't need you talking over the game.

2. Never communicate in English
Okay so you can't keep your mouth shut huh? Its okay, just scream out every time you die in any language other than English so that all your teammates can't understand you (Russian preferred).

3. Every round is a buy round
Why waste your time saving? maximise your chances of winning the round by force buying. Who needs economy anyways?

4. Never play with your team
Always play solo and lurk as far away from your team as possible to avoid getting in your teammates way. You're a great player all on your own, they'll just give you away and you certainly don't need their help.

5. B rush is a great strat that always works
That's it rush into that site and take the enemies by surprise, they'll never see it coming.

6. Be loud and proud
Make sure to always make noise outside the bombsite, who cares if your team are trying to set up for smokes? Just push out and get that entry frag

7. Drop the bomb
That's just something else to worry about, we don't need to plant, its more risk than reward.

8. Never drop a weapon to your teammate
They can't afford to buy? that's their fault for dying, Save your money so you can buy AWP.

9. It's always your teammates fault
You're good at this game, if you die it can't be your fault. Make sure to blame it on your team. (Screaming in Russian preferred)

10. Keep your team in check
Remember, they caused you to die... Your teammates weren't helping you even though you went solo B, you even said "B RUSH BLYAT" at the start of the round and they went A anyways. Make sure to shoot them in the head when the round starts so they associate being bad at the game with being shot, This way they will learn to be a better player and you'll definitely win the match.
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26 Comments
Den Innvandreren  [author] 4 Nov, 2023 @ 8:26am 
Yes yes you cannot cheat because the server is VAC secured.
Pavall 2 Nov, 2023 @ 3:49am 
Valve Anti Cheat "VAC" is a mindblowingly complicated way to stop cheaters. It is very effective, and it is impossible to cheat on VAC enabled servers. If VAC detects a cheater, it'll VAC ban them instantly, and there is no other way to play CS, because matchmaking is the only way to play competitive CS:GO. VAC is one of the best anti-cheats made to date, it catches 100% of cheaters, keeping CS:GO Matchmaking very clean.
Dipshit 27 Oct, 2023 @ 10:46am 
thing to add: friendly fire? that doesn't matter, what matters is killing the enemy team! Its their fault for getting in the way of your line of fire, really.
Den Innvandreren  [author] 27 Oct, 2023 @ 9:09am 
good one I can maybe add that to the list
zNoxi- 27 Oct, 2023 @ 5:10am 
Awesome
Rushing Beast ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 26 Oct, 2023 @ 4:09pm 
can you make it for mge ?
WOLFinWOOL 26 Oct, 2023 @ 2:40pm 
Blaming your teammates for everything once you die?
Den Innvandreren  [author] 26 Oct, 2023 @ 12:55pm 
Not even the 1.9 TDI I’m disappointed.
1997 Audi A3 1.8 26 Oct, 2023 @ 12:10pm 
i don't need tutorial for this but thanks!
koinen 26 Oct, 2023 @ 9:19am 
very useful,thanks you bro