Shadows of Doubt

Shadows of Doubt

109 ratings
Pinkerton Agency Guide to Catch a Ripper Quick and Dirty!
By LYNX
Are you an incredibly violent thug with few moral principles, limitless greed, and an all consuming passion for violating civil liberties? Pinkerton's National Detective Agency might be just the place for you!

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PINKERTON'S RAPID RIPPER APPREHENSION MANUAL
WHAT YOU'LL NEED
  • One or more freshly murdered corpses
  • Conduct becoming of a Pinkerton employee
  • Truncheon (Important!)
  • 2+ pairs of handcuffs
STEPS
Steps:
  1. Get to the murder scene fast before shoe and finger prints decay.

  2. Evade or neutralize the guards so you can safely examine the corpse (Truncheon and cuffs can come in handy here! Don't be afraid to kidnap and hogtie those pesky cops if they get in the way of your bounty!)

  3. Take prints from the victim, prints from the murder weapon, and prints from everything around you. Also get what you can from the victim's wallet or house to identify them. Computers they left on are great if you check the profile page. Feel free to rob the victim's wallet for any cash you find! They don't need it, It's yours now!

  4. Grab the victim's address book and pin a copy to your evidence board.

  5. Sneak onto the top floor of city hall and break into the enforcer division there. It should be the least traveled enforcer division. I recommend putting your shoulder to work and bashing the door down if nobody's inside.

  6. Find an active computer with nobody on it and, one by one, print off the citizen records of everyone in the victim's notebook violating their civil rights until you find a print that matches the one you found on the weapon. One of the mysterious fingerprints you pinned before should change to show the name of the citizen it matches once this happens.

  7. 9 times out of 10 you now know the identity of the killer! Feel free to fulfill the optional objectives any way you see fit, such as by grabbing the murder weapon and scanning it to make a copy for pinning to your board. At this point, with the weapon fingerprints tied to their name and photo you already got the bastard either way.

  8. Go to their house, bash their door down,and truncheon 13 colors of piss out of everyone inside. Take this moment to gloat while they scream for help and beg you to explain why you're doing this. They think they're hard as ♥♥♥♥, being a serial killer and all, so put them in their place. It is YOU who is the great apex predator grabbing the slithering worm in your mighty eagle talons! THEY are merely your bounty! They are prey! Treat them accordingly!

  9. Rob them of everything they own while making fun of them and occasionally smacking them around.

  10. Walk down to city hall and turn in your case with whatever evidence you found. That's it, you've done your job and made the Pinkerton National Detective Agency proud! Tomorrow we will probably have a new job for you beating the turds out of a civil rights journalist or repossessing the organs of an inconvenient union leader whose medical bills we bought and raised the interest rates on to the point they're in default. For now, though, you can go down to the local bar and do any good Pinkerton's favorite thing-Drink 15 cocktails before throwing up on yourself and passing out in a dumpster! Enjoy yourself, old bean, you've earned it!
P.S.
If you couldn't get a match, wait for the killer to strike again and simply repeat the process as many times as needed until the killer slips up. We aren't being paid to prevent murders after all old bean, we're paid to catch killers! Time is on our side, you see, because we simply do not give a single flying French ♥♥♥♥ about the lives of the innocent or the fate of any parties involved other than ourselves! Isn't private industry marvelous?



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17 Comments
DisgracedDairy 31 Aug, 2024 @ 11:10pm 
We have reached a point where we commit more crime than we actually solve. Unfortunately for these poor vict- I mean, hardened criminals, the statute of limitations for our actions is past the second we go outside, truly an action only sociopaths are able to undertake. This rule, of course, is to catch basement dwellers who post radical fringe political views online, such as asking why their still-beating heart is listed on the Starch Kola stock exchange. We look down on these kinds of people, and break into their homes and beat them over the head with their house phone to acquire a confession that will lead to their arrest, while simultaneously seizing any personal possessions as 'evidence.'
Remember: If they weren't criminals, they wouldn't have to lock their doors.
LYNX  [author] 19 Sep, 2023 @ 1:34am 
That's ASTONISHING advice WhimsicaleStranger! I'll have to look further into this and strongly consider adding more to the guide or perhaps creating a field manual of similar dirty tricks that people are all suggesting.
WhimsicaleStranger 18 Sep, 2023 @ 6:18pm 
If you want to have some fun you while doing this can wait until one of the employees in the lobby uses the bathroom. Then, simply hop on his/her PC and change the security to "Not Player". Next, run away to a different room and watch the auto-turrets mnassacre everyone inside the lobby.
Kozzy 29 Jul, 2023 @ 7:38pm 
Great guide
LYNX  [author] 26 Jul, 2023 @ 6:03pm 
Good point Baconboi :3
BaconBoi 26 Jul, 2023 @ 4:27pm 
always remember the technique of knocking on a door, getting them to unlock it and then bashing the door in
System_Reb00t 2 Jul, 2023 @ 8:21pm 
9/10 guide but not enough human rights violations
LYNX  [author] 14 Jun, 2023 @ 3:51am 
That is extremely based! I'm not really sure where I'd fit it in though without breaking the pacing of the guide.
fцику мцику 14 Jun, 2023 @ 3:41am 
True story
fцику мцику 14 Jun, 2023 @ 3:41am 
You should add a bit about breaking into their house, stealing a guys Magic the Gathering cards, and making his wife cry