Once upon a time, Commander Shepard's digestive system rebelled with a vengeance, leading to a cosmic catastrophe unlike anything the galaxy had ever witnessed.

It all started innocently enough during a routine visit to the Citadel. Shepard, the esteemed hero and savior, was meeting with the galaxy's most influential leaders to discuss the imminent Reaper threat. Little did he know that an ancient artifact, smuggled aboard the Normandy SR-2 as a quirky souvenir, held a dark secret—a secret that would soon shake the very foundations of the universe.

As Shepard strode confidently into the Citadel Council chambers, he felt an uncomfortable rumble deep within his stomach. Ignoring the warning signs, he took his seat and prepared to deliver a stirring speech that would unite the galaxy against the impending doom. But fate had other plans.

In the midst of Shepard's passionate plea for unity, an explosive fart erupted from his posterior, shaking the council members from their seats. The sheer force of the flatulence caused the ceiling to crack, raining debris upon the startled politicians. The room fell into chaos as gas masks were hastily donned and accusations flew.

But that was just the beginning.

As Shepard desperately attempted to regain control, an even more alarming realization dawned upon him—his intestines were about to unleash a force beyond imagination. With a mighty roar, the commander's rear end unleashed a torrential storm of both gas and excrement, propelling him into the air like a turbo-charged jetpack.

The Normandy crew, bewildered and slightly disgusted, watched in awe as Shepard soared through the Citadel, leaving a trail of brownish-green destruction in their wake. People scattered, their faces contorted in a mix of shock, horror, and barely concealed laughter.

The commander, now fully embracing his unintentional superpower, flew towards the Reaper fleet, unleashing a catastrophic spray of fecal matter and flatulence upon the unsuspecting mechanical monstrosities. The Reapers, caught off guard by this bizarre assault, faltered in confusion, unable to comprehend the absurdity of their demise.

As the last Reaper was reduced to a steaming pile of metallic rubble, Shepard descended back to the Citadel, covered head to toe in an unholy combination of bodily fluids and gaseous remnants. The crew greeted their victorious commander with a mix of applause, laughter, and a healthy dose of dry cleaning vouchers and coupons.

And so, the galaxy learned an important lesson that day—sometimes, in the face of unfathomable danger, it's the unexpected, the absurd, and the downright ridiculous that can save us all. And Commander Shepard? Well, he will forever be remembered as the hero who saved the galaxy with a fart and a whole lot of shіt, leaving the universe both awestruck and bewildered by the sheer power of his gastrointestinal rebellion