Read this before scrolling down or using the slider. Scrolling to comment section means you are jumping directly to the ending and all the spoilers.

Originally planned to be an interactive fiction, but later scrapped in favor of one storyline, Opposing Force 2 – The Storyline is a compact, 5-chapter sequel to Half-Life: Opposing Force with prequel elements in the Prelude. The story is dialogue-based, meaning most of the potential gameplay elements, monsters and weapons stay "behind the scenes" while the story fast-forwards to replicas or dialogues. It is a blueprint for something that can potentially be stretched for hours. You get what you get for free.

Reader’s Note: The story may contain extremely dark and inappropriate elements. If you are unable to handle that, it is advised to leave.

Spoken by Adrian: «I’ve been sitting in here for who knows how long. I had just enough time to look back on my wretched life, as I was sitting here in this forsaken aircraft. Is this some sort of punishment? For all those dead white-coats I’ve tried my best to protect? I was following my commander into this operation and boy it was a mistake. Shouldn’t have been so naïve to think it was anything easy. Did the government betray me? Or was I betrayed by my own perseverance? The price to pay for joining this army…»

«My internal organs seemed to have stopped functioning. Time flies fast in constant motion, yet it all feels so motionless, as if I was plugged in some capsule. I can barely walk in here, it all pulls me left and right. Am I underwater? Am I alive or dead? Is anything around me even real? I’ve had many questions, yet no answers. It was all so strange. I spit in anger and what comes out is a line of bubbles.»

To this moment I wonder who that man was. All I know is that he saved my life. But at what cost? Warzone turned crater, orders failed and I was cut from the rest of my squad. All my friends killed and I have nowhere to come back to. Nothing to lose either. I’m stuck in here, isolated. «Witness» he said, but I can barely remember what happened, make sense of it, it was all too quick, the adrenaline. All I have left now is that diary in the bag I carry, keeps memories. I keep it since the moment when… I just never had the courage to open it up again. Perhaps I shouldn’t? It was all too painful and I’m here with my thoughts now. If only there was anything happy to remember. *sigh* Suppose I have nothing else left to do.»

*Adrian opens a diary*

Adrian: «Boy, I’ll regret this. I’ve had a brother, Mitch. *giggle* A real A-Hole he was sometimes. But he was my brother. Him and I weren’t really too close. Sometimes I felt like slapping him in the face, anyone would. He always loved staring at the mirror. But the tragedy our childhood was – the same for both of us... When our parents passed - he felt defeated. He fell on his knees and begged them to wake up. No response. Walked up to me, hugged and said «I’m sorry, Adrian. Sorry for everything.» Called 911, locked himself in the room till the cops arrived. That very day, just like that, all our happiness, even as negligible as it was back then, slipped away, our lives changed forever. For the first time ever he looked responsible. Parents’ corpses were loaded into an ambulance in the bodybags and since then we were raised in an orphanage. Like animals. Mitchell had never recovered from the trauma, was fighting with the other kids, breaking stuff, day in, day out. He was not the one to keep calm, especially when someone invaded his personal space. Real cranky. But the birdbrain workers never gived a flying f*ck about those «rules of conduct», they took him to a sh*tter and kept bashing his head on a daily basis. I’m surprised they haven’t cut off our oxygen at that point. They didn’t give one sh*t about his well-being, showed no compassion and at some point, he was diagnosed with a brain damage. Not sure how serious it was. Social workers said he fell, next thing they do is «hang it all» on a new young volunteer-girl. This poor woman. She didn’t deserve serving her time in prison. But f*ck, if I knew a thing or two about life that time, i wouldn’t let them get away with this. They took advantage of us all. Other kids were just standing there, laughing when my brother was breaking himself in the corner. Of course no one decent adopted him, if anyone ever did. My poor brother… I hope he’s doing well. I was a fool too, fell for these magazines, marines all airbrushed, no scars, nothing, but the f*ck did I know back then? I was a whippersnapper, soiling pampers. I wouldn’t be in this mess I’m in today. Still, had to find focus, piece my life puzzle together. And there I was, leaving this terrible place, thinking I’d become someone for a change, my brother started crying again, ran up to me, grabbed my hand and said «Tell me, please tell me you won’t forget about me.» And… I nodded. That’s all I did.

I was all for myself from now on. Never had a time to think, always had to act. Trained to never have emotion, if the order is to shoot a dog – I shot a dog on sight. And I knew, deep inside, someday I will have to pay for it. A gut feeling. Life was sending me a message.»

Few days before the operation…

«A hot and sunny morning it was. All that meant to us – a taste of burning dirt and more pounds lost.»

Adrian: *Heavy breath* «Agh, I’m losing my breath! »

Commander Barry: «One more, maggot, one more! Your grandma could do better than that.»

Adrian: «If you… If you get this leg off of my back…»

Commander Barry: «Am I sensing aggression from you, Corporal? Speak up! Don’t be a wiener, it ain’t far to your underwear.»

Adrian: «Yes! Yes, you do! You’re up my arse every day with this bull***. I’m f***** deaf already, seriously drop this s***!»

Commander Barry: «Good. *gets the leg off* We should give you a promotion one day if you gonna keep this up. You got no brain, no patience, nothing but brawn and energy! You’re a perfect sweat vegetable, a cannon fodder! Now. You remember the code?»

Adrian: «*sigh* I’m no p***y, I’m a puss! Got my d*** that isn’t loose and my b*** is full intact, here to fight and not to wank! *reaching out to his belt*»

Commander Barry: «Alright, alright, hold it in your pants, wouldn’t want my retirement to come so early. Sheesh, don’t embarrass me like that, Corporal. *sniffing his armpits* I’m still a man. A MAN! Ha-ha, right, so, your training is over for now, go get yourself a drink, wank, or whatever you do as usual. Hey, you dirtbags in that window, nothing to see here, get your heads off here before I come in there and gouge your eyes out myself! Especially you, nanny chocolate, I’ll crack your nuts and you’ll just melt.»

«Looking back at this now… Can’t help myself but to smile. Sometimes I wanted to shoot this guy in the face, but other times… He felt all decent. Well, you get used to it anyhow. If not for these bastards, I don’t know where I would be now.»

Few days later…

Early morning – Military Base

«Something rotten was in the air. And it weren’t my smelly socks, a couple years later, I couldn’t taste their smell at all. Back then I knew, I could feel it.

The staff is hiding something from us, couldn’t point my finger as to what exactly. Couldn’t pretend everything was fine either. Chief of Staff went missing couple of days ago, something about that guy in a suit. The Drill Instructor pushed us beyond our limits almost a whole week now. Typical exercises turned into 12 hour marathons with 10 minute breaks. Every day I almost dropped fatigued, others have. Some had heart attack. I couldn’t last too long either. I was thinking of sneaking out of the army and running away, but there’s a whole desert out there… I imagine that would be stupid.

This day, however, is different. Where is the rest of the staff at? Where is everyone? Commanders don’t talk and I have a limited access to this place. Others urged me to sit still, but I had a growing fear something bad has happened. Thankfully, the training wasn’t so intense today and a couch with a whole living room was open to me and a bunch of army folk. Most of them were shipped to some mission. Boy they are in trouble, but we can’t help but celebrate!»

«We ran in, all tipsy. Food on the table, well-groomed place for grunt roaches to settle in, air conditioning is on, grapes, stakes, a load of wine and alcohol. All that was missing is a bunch of hoes on our lap, but we had enough of them on a paid leave each year.»

Private Harris: *stepping into the room* Ha-ha, what? Would you look at all that! All this glamour and not even a drop of dust. Presidential palace, here I come!»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Give me a break. Looks like a two star hotel at best. Wine tastes like crap and fried steak is overcooked.»

Private Harris: «Hey, I’ve got something for yo tastes! *takes a spoon full of ice-cream and throws it into his face* Ha-ha, they don’t call you a fatneck for nothing!»

Brigadier Fatneck: «You’ll answer with your tongue, I can tell you that!»

Private Harris: «You lash out on me cause I’m black!»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Give me a good reason not to fry your balls up on this frying pan right here!»

Colonel Wolf: «Silence! I’ve had it with your whining! At morning someone pissed himself, at night someone sh*t it, hardly a minute’s rest here in the army. Well look at that, someone left music here on the dresser and the earbuds, uh-oh. Maybe I don’t have to lose my mind sitting here, listening to you two.»

Private Harris: «Hey, you fella, put that MP3 playa back down, don’t you be taking what’s mine. Look, *twirling player round* a commodity these days. With all these prices skyrocketing boys can’t afford themselves one player. Even the junk is glittering now. Technology will be hard to come by in years.»

«And me, I was just standing there, occasionally nodding, smiling. I was never a talkative type. But now… This silence drives me nuts. I wish I would have talked more when I had that opportunity. I’d give up anything just to see the light of day again.»

Private Harris: «Soo… We can’t just sit here like that all sad like a bunch of divorcees, we need some background noise. Let’s put that TV on real quick.»

Colonel Wolf: «I’ll pass… *whispering to himself as he walks out from the room* Won’t be on for too long, ha-ha.»

TV News Reporter: «The bloodbath continues as the government is not yet able to find an effective solution against the recent ongoing «Green Flu» outbreak south of the border, in the last three days along with a rapid increase in a number of cases all around the world, the infection seems to get closer each day. The U.S Military was authorized to use lethal force on infected civilians, if necessary, as the President is ordering to «neutralize» all connections to the cities already exposed to the epidemic. The New Orleans Memorial Bridge was destroyed the other day, as the Prime Minister assures «no casualties have been incurred» and that all survivors that could have made it out – made it out. As we all know, the current President’s administration was continuously failing to prevent that horrific disaster, let alone give the barricaded civilians some humanitarian aid. Our running puppet in his latest speech accused Russia of engineering disasters all of our country is experiencing right now to later strike and take over with ruthless force.»

Mr.President: «I can’t stress this with more emotion. Russia, China, whoever is doing what you doing now. Drop your game. Stop subjecting our country to terror! In no chance I will not give you… Excuse me, will I give you control over my country. I’ve sanctioned you before – I’ll sanction you again.»

General-in-chief: «The destruction of Veteran’s Memorial Bridge was a fully-planned strategic decision to prevent a disaster like that from ever happening again. We took around thirty carriers with us and after a couple of tests they were all fit as a fiddle. Shipped them all overseas to the compounds where they will be safe and secure. We’re trying to minimize casualties with all our best efforts.»

TV News Reporter: «A controversial «Aperture Science Research Corporation» seemed to have died down quiet after a recent scandal involving kidnapped hostages, allegedly sold out to the facility ownership had surfaced, no one is picking up any phones and their website went offline. The whole zone near the entrance of the facility is completely abandoned, all the windows and gates are sealed, while the police officers are struggling to find a way in.»

Police officer on the line: «It will take months, if not years to pierce through the entrance and decades to dig through the whole complex. We’d have to bring National Security to blast in through, but the bastards all distracted with operations of «major emergency», they refuse to look into this. Who knows how many people are trapped inside, the safety of our people should be the top priority! Can anyone with enough tanks and missiles get here and set it on fire? This place needs some proper airstrike, ASAP! Why is everyone gone these days?»

TV News Reporter: «Right. On to the other news – there have been numerous flashes in the night sky all around the world, strange electric sparkles evaporate clouds, while the buried in snow Texas is shocked to see beautiful, yet terrifying Aurora Lights hugging the skies all over the region. Even as a news reporter I am obliged to say, despite my own will and hope, that this, might be, for all our nation or even humanity as a whole – the sign of the end times nearing. The whole country is falling apart, dear audience, I’d wish to bring you the good news, but the luck is not on our path anymore. Riots, crime activity, robberies all picked up pace, while new cults from the west have emerged that threaten to «take all country» into their own hands, I’d admit, United States ruled by a cult could come off as greatest news all of us want to hear as the President and his corrupt administration talks more than acts. The world is not as it used to be.

*inaudible mumbling* What? Breaking news again? On desk, quick. Uuuuh… It looks like we hit rock bottom here in America. We really did. We are receiving reports that New Mexico is hearing loud, distant explosions resonating from some «Black Mesa Research Facility»… Does anyone know what this place even is? They had a resear-»

???: «*whispering* Proceed with the program!»

News Reporter: «Teleportation? What is that, a joke? Tell me it’s just a prank… There’s no way.
So… An experiment went wrong, as teleportation of interdi-»

*Power went out*

Private Harris: «Who turned off the lights? Can’t see, can’t see! Teleportation of who? Who?»

Brigadier Fatneck: «NO! I spilled it, can you believe that? The only wine I had in 15 years, it’s all gone!»

*Lights go back up again, a loud, distorted noise is coming from the ceiling speakers*

Private Harris: «Argh, the noise! My glasses, my freaking glasses busted!»

(Speakers) Commander Barry: «Well, what do we have here? A bunch of you sacklicks took off on a cruise ship and haven’t even called me to join the party? No TV today, I said it. Orders are still orders and you all have to abide by em’. If I catch any of you weakling balltards anywhere near that TV again I’ll come in there and play soccer with your heads, smacking your brains against it with a baseball bat! Do I make myself clear?»

Private Harris: «Uuh… That’s not how the soccer is played.»

(Speakers) Commander Barry: «Harris? That’s 500 pissoir push-ups with your mouth open. I decide which one, he-he.»

Private Harris: «Not that again, my tongue is still sour since that last time…»

(Speakers) Commander Barry: «But that can wait. Today evening we have a new mission coming in. An extremely hostile situation that goes beyond any FUBAR we might have experienced, possibly ever… Things aren’t going too well for the others, I’ve lost contact with them, no communications focal point. I… *hard breath* I was told to keep you all on a «need to know basis». I’d advice you’d get some sleep before that mission. That goes for all of you. It’s a suicide mission. It is necessary for you all to be in a top form today, we might be in it for a real fecal matter. Over and out.»

Private Harris: «Alright, if he said it. That place, all be looking nice, ain’t even nowhere to sleep but that one couch! Well, I take the couch and you- *Fatneck grabs him whole and throws onto the floor.* Okay, fine, you could have just said it, you know. What, am I to sleep here? You barely fit on that couch, leave some place for me!»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Not. Here. Get out of here before I crush your skull. I said GET OUT! *kicks Harris in the face*»

Private Harris: «No, no more, my face, I just… *spits out blood* Okay. Have it your way. I’ll remember that.»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Run away, you useless crap. Oh, Shephard, don’t just stand there, you’re free to stay in that room if you want, just grab a sleeping bag and lie down there. Or I lie down there and you here. That moron won’t come back, trust me. If anything, I’m here for you, always.»

«All day Harris sounded like he was planning a revenge, talking to himself in that other room. But I could get some sleep before heading out to the so-called «suicide mission». That didn’t sum up even a half of it. It was a fight for survival I never had. Not up to this point.»

*Reveille music plays*

Adrian: «*yawn* Where is it? *crawls with the eyes closed and tries to reach out for his bag* Is that a muffin? Lemme have some…»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Get your hands off my feet, you perverted lunatic!»

Private Harris: «*walks into the room* Aaah, so that’s why? *takes a photo* What do we have in stores today? A pulpy virgin and all shy soggy wet whitey-bitey? Look, ha-ha, you’re drooling!»

Brigadier Fatneck: «You again? I thought I told you to f*ck off?»

Private Harris: «Oh no, excuse me for snooping in your date, thought your rosy-cheeks look good on your doll-face from that angle, all you need now is a wedding dress and some lipstick to back up your «masculinity», he-he.»

«Don’t know what happened to me back there, I felt ashamed. Guess I’ve never had enough sweet food. Always a «no» in the shops when I was a kid. Kept dreaming to get some good snacks that isn’t some solid plastic they had in there. I’d rather take a snack filling my blood up with sugar instead of eating bugs and plant food government forced on us. No... I haven’t eaten in a while, I miss food, any food. I knew it was a bad idea to open up this diary. Should keep that in mind the next time I’m about to make a terrible decision, even if my curiosity is in the way. When is he gonna let me out?»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Now you’re dead!»

Private Harris: «Help! There’s a loose animal in here! Call control services, anyone!»

*Fatneck charges full speed, jumps and brings Harris down*

Brigadier Fatneck: «Got anything to say now, smart guy? Huh?»

Private Harris: «What are you gonna do? Kill me and your next assignment is at a prison toilet.
You’re all-talk, we all know that, right Adrian?»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Don’t you… *angry screaming*»

*Fatneck clenches his fist and is getting ready to swing*

Private Harris: «Wait, wait, hold on.»

Brigadier Fatneck: «What? Pussied out?»

Private Harris: «No, listen to me. Out there, look!»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Aah, I ain’t falling for that, ain’t some private cadet. Went through awareness training when you were bottle-fed.»

Private Harris: «No, serious, just glimpsed it. There’s something outside.»

*Bright green flash from outside the window*

Brigadier Fatneck: «What the… What is that?»

Private Harris: «Seeing it now? Never seen anything like it… Boy, I think we are in trouble.»

«A strange orb showed up in the middle of our training area, emitting a bright green light, spitting small particles around and feeding on grass. Still not sure what it was. Unlike any portal I’ve seen at Black Mesa.»

Private Harris: «It’s alive too. That building, it heads over there! Crap, they won’t hear me, I think. Hey! If anyone is inside, apple mint ice-cream ball is coming your way!»

*Orb seeps through the building and brings it down full*

Private Harris: «Sh*t, we are real f*cked! Anyone got any ideas? Adrian, you swallowed your f*cking tongue?»

Brigadier Fatneck: «We have to run, just don’t come near it, you seen what it do!»

Private Harris: «No sh*t, ain’t blind, dumbass. Maybe if we sneak out, it won’t… Hey, who is that fool out there? It’s General Stanley! You’re too old and grizzled for that, man, don’t do it, stay away, you can barely even walk!»

General Stanley: «Want a piece of me? Come get me!»

*Stanley throws a grenade right into the orb, as it spits the explosion out back full force, leaving the old man dead.*

Private Harris: «Stanley! You were the legend, man… I barely even knew the guy, actually, but still.»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Got no time, let’s run! Aah, crap, I’M NAKED! I forgot to put my pants on! What do I do, sh*t, what do I do?»

Private Harris: «Ooh, F- If there was anything to hide behind your layers of fat… You know what, just get that 1800 rich gentleman towel right there and hide your underwear if you’re so worried about it biting your dong off and let’s get the f*ck out of here already! Ruuun… Just Ruuun. F*cking move, fat***!»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Stop pushing me!»

«And then I realized, all these 12-hour trials finally paid off. But I should never run headlong, was always taught to make a proper assessment of the situation. Thankfully, this time, memory did not fail me and I grabbed my bag, packed some fruits, not just these two idiots, but some actual food, though I had to stick one yellow apple in between my teeth, something was telling me we’re in it for a long game. I was not wrong. We had to take the stairs, exit was multiple floors down. Did not quite go the way we expected. I won’t lie, nothing ever did in my life.»

Brigadier Fatneck: «The whole building is crumbling down. Can’t run, it’s all shaking. Hold on to something!»

«Whatever it was, it felt us, swallowing the whole building up. I was running like stupid with that apple in my mouth, choking on it. Don’t know what the f*ck I was thinking, it just clicked in my mind, is all. Sometimes I do meaningless decisions, not sure why. Guess I have a bit of my brother’s blood in me, after all.»

Private Harris: «I can’t hold on, hold me, man, hold me tight!»

Brigadier Fatneck: «He-he, now you’re in for a Ferris wheel ride? Let’s get you up!»

Private Harris: «Hey, go easy on me, I ain’t your playthingy!»

«I got hanged back a little. We were losing the floor from under our feet, then suddenly, whole building started falling apart, the roof dropped and that room got separated in half. I slowly crawled to the edge, looked over and there it was, that strange entity, eating furniture and sparkling up bright down there. It was waiting for me to fall, like an alligator with an open mouth, frozen shock-still. I had to jump to the other side.»

Private Harris: «Adrian! The f*ck? What is that yellow ball in your mouth? You both into some weird sh*t, no wonders you slept in that room together. Look at my face! Was it worth it?»

Brigadier Fatneck: «For f*ck’s sakes, cut the bullsh*t, you annoying nagger!»

Private Harris: «I what, mate? *Fatneck throws him into the wall and knocks him out*»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Can’t believe I have to babysit that douchebag, U.S Military takes anyone these days. Alright, I’m here, jump! Come on, jump, you can make it.»

«The next thing I do is spread my wings and start flying. Ha-ha, I wish. I did jump, but got smacked right into the collapsed floor. I was about to slide down to my death, but there he was, a fat man in not-so-shining white underwear showing off right above my face… He reacted just in time, instantly reached out his hand and grabbed my apple-stack, as he pulled me out with two fingers. That’s right, even I was amazed. Can’t tell, whether that apple possessed some ancient power that only a fool like me could unravel or I was so stupid, my brain had barely any weight to it. Still, I made it out and right there, at that very moment, I realized an importance of teamwork. I should never go into the burning fire alone, that I must remember.»

Brigadier Fatneck: «Wow, sh*t. I got your apple, man, I got you! How the f*ck? Finally *hard breath* Hey, I hear the rotor going, let’s hurry. Man, I want to leave this a**ole behind, but I’m not a monster. This fool is, but that’s not who we are. Let’s get him up…»

«We made it out of the building and successfully reached the helipad. I’d be lying if I said that the commander was there waiting for us with the arms stretched, trembling. Course not. He was back at it again with that smirk and his typical vulgarity, the jack*ss. F*ckin’ A Right.»

Commander Barry: «*staring into his binoculars* Shhh, quiet. Yeah-yeah, three weasels, 12 o’clock. I’ll interrupt their mating season. Hey, you, three f****ts! You losers are an embarrassment to the whole U.S Military, I should hitch you up to clean toilets! You’re the worst our country has to offer, in no world will I let a fat sissy with his d*** hanging, some crying wussy wetting in his hands, a winking drooling gagged play doll of yours get their hands on a weapon! The only thing I can spare is «F*ck you» as a middle finger, a ticket home and a pink dildo as a gift for you all to play around in the closet. You are defaming this righteous land, this wonderful desert, honor of troops who give out their lives on the battlefield in these hard times, while you practice onanism under a blanket. Who the f*ck do you think I am, your schoolmarm? There is no place for homosexuality in our ranks, you got that nancy-pantsies?»

*collectively screaming «Yes, sir!»*

Commander Barry: «I’m glad you animals can speak, don’t have to castrate your sorry a*ses too, just yet. Now! One by one, step to me!»

Private Harris: «Yes, c-captain. Um, I, uuh, think we can reach an unders- *slapped in the face*»

Commander Barry: «I speak, only I’m allowed to speak here, now look back, turn away, now.»

*Barry grabs his ears and pulls him up high*

Private Harris: *sounds of whining*

Commander Barry: «Do you see it? Do you see the Statue of Liberty? Do you feel the breeze of freedom?»

Private Harris: «Yes, yes, free me, commander, free me!»

Commander Barry: «Well, forget it! There is no freedom here in the army, my word and only my word counts, now, get your arse inside. *an impatient tone* Next!»

*Fatneck steps closer to Barry*

Commander Barry: «Let me see. Just curious.» *pulls Fatneck’s underwear and releases it*

Brigadier Fatneck: *screams in pain*

Commander Barry: «Now stop whining and get inside!»

*Adrian walks up to Barry*

Commander Barry: *walks up to Adrian’s face and bites off an apple as it falls on the ground* «You’re good, son. *pats Adrian on the shoulder* Get inside.»

*Helicopter is about to start*

???: «Hey, fat man, remember that Middle-East job where Barry shoved you into a wedding dress and set you up to run around the battlefield crowing like a rooster? They sure did have a hard time pulling that trigger, ha-ha, those are some insane tactics. Shame they caught you and kept you there as a toy for ransom, but that’s another story, still, was a good distraction. Wonder what else they did to you if you’re still showing up in that underwear.»

Brigadier Fatneck: «We are about to get thrown right into the blazing flames and you’re giving me that again? It was just an accident, it always is. All the time I get stuck in these awkward situations with nothing but underwear and tortured dignity. Just shut up.»

Commander Barry: «Alright, all you on board, cut the cackle, we are about to take off! We’ve got a Scale A situation. Can’t reveal too much detail just yet, don’t want you babies to crawl back to your mother’s hole and scream like children, for now, maintain organized discipline. I’ll brief you when we reach the landing zone, we’ve got a whole hangar base in our possession, there we got supplies and resources for all your dire needs! As for our HQ… In spite of unpredictable consequences led by the developing situation, Uncle Sam will be kind enough to provide us with a new one. Now, I’ll make it very clear, for those who love yelling, babbling on cases of extreme confidentiality, unless you are very eager to end up on the CIA blacklist, it is vital that anything you see, deal with in that operation, does not go beyond your own blocky heads, otherwise, I won’t be there to drag you out of their hands, if those G-Men suddenly come knocking to bust your balls with 50k volt tasers. None of us wants the situation to escalate as far as to World War III, this is something our current position cannot afford, protect our regime, our democracy by any means necessary. If the general population or the other countries get their hands on even a tiny fraction of information, we’ll be deprived of our own very land. Don’t encourage these communist bastards to get involved in the conflict, tensions are rising catastrophically as they are already, so work at maximum efficiency, it is critical that the mission is success. An exact nature of a threat, in-depth mission description, who to shoot, who to kill, that you will know when we get there. Questions? *someone raises his hand up* Don’t ask me questions! Now sit here and keep it shut.»

«We could only speculate about the potential risks each one of us would have to carry, but after a heed of warnings, I started feeling like too much weight had suddenly dropped on our shoulders, an immense pressure of responsibility, like never before. I wouldn’t act as if responsibility is something my former friends acknowledged often, moralities or any kind of ethics have always been the least important parts here in the military, still, it looks like all red arrows in the whole world have started pointing at us, for what we have done in the past, I reckon. The big bad wolf finally caught up to us and at that point, to me, literally. As hard as it is for me to stay self-judgmental for a few minutes before I start doing nasty things yet again, the time for us to pay has come, absolutely. I haven’t paid attention, haven’t given sh*t for far too long, now I’m in the hole, left only with my bitter taste of guilt. A treat most of them haven’t lived to witness, remedy against blind self-confidence. Still, should have dropped my heroism and ran away, but I ain’t a coward. I am a brave, dumb pawn in someone else’s game, if that’s any better. Didn’t seem like I had much of a choice.

I’ve picked a right seat, could see the view outside very well. To think, how large that desert was, in my memory I can still recall some of the landmarks we flew past, most of the places I’ve never been to, never shall. Rails to mining shafts blocked by rubble, small abandoned towns destroyed by missiles, huge craters in the sand, windmills all fell. Not hard to believe that nearly half a century ago, this place was a hot warzone for gold. Mercenaries from all around the world would come to this place, some mental maniacs in fight for the same poison that killed our whole country. They are as responsible as we are, but they got what was coming to them, all their remains are buried or in other words burned, while corporations they themselves worked for robbed them of every penny, leaving them to rot. If all the stories are true, it is no myth how these facilities got all the authority to pull any sh*t on Earth they want. They bought the government or even worse, created the current one themselves. Full of lunatics.

Isn’t hard to guess, my whole squad wasn’t serious about the whole operation, cracking typical jokes, a bunch of degenerates. Most of them smelled like piss, but that’s something to get used to in the first days of service duty. My heart was pounding, only a cold sweat, running shivers kept me awake, stressed in the aircraft, especially after that entity popped out of nowhere. I felt like it was trying to tell me something, heard sounds, but I suspect it was my mind slowly losing it’s sanity in all the hassle. Documents, most of my belongings are gone, torched back at HQ, but what I haven’t left behind is my luck. We were dropped right into the thick of it and that’s only a soft way of putting it.»

19:22 – Mountain Time

Commander Barry: *speaking on the radio* «Yeah. Uh-huh. Japan destroyed? What, eleven minutes ago? Alright. That’s great.»

*In the past*

Ex-president: «Pension, finally. Thought that day would never come. Now I can finally enjoy the good old days when all I had to worry about was my paycheck. Actually… Oh… I’ll take it easy from here, *experiences back pain* you’ll find me by a swimming pool in my lifebuoy. Just gotta take an ice.»

Donald Trump: (Wearing funeral clothing) «Classic old Joe. Pfft. Eating ice-cream while jets are burning cities to a crisp. I’m surprised you can speak, like really. What’s there to talk about with you anyway? You looose, I wiiin, same oooold story, just same oooold story *throws up his hands*.»

Ex-president: «Uuuuhh, here we go. Stop talking like you’re giving a rally speech. Leave me be, will you? Just leave me be. I can’t… feel my back and… eeeh… *mumbling in anger* Can’t look at your dumb stupid grin anymore, hope someone punches it. Or snipes that stupid hair from your head at the very least on one of those rallies…».

Donald Trump: «Can’t hear you Joe, caaaan’t hear you. Don’t care, never ever cared. I’ll keep telling the American people, the press, about how I’ll saaave the country while you just be soaking your pampers from now on! Have a great time. Actually, meh. Just gotta tell ya Joe. "Presidency?" It ain’t for everyone. Plain stupid for that you are. You’re here for men like me to stand gloating at your face and I gotta take all the opportunities I currently have. Nothing personal, sleepy Joe, just taking the opportunity, I’m telling ya. Ain’t no one but me in charge.»

Ex-president: «When are you gonna leave me alone? *mumbles* Stuffed feathered heron. Can’t handle your warble any longer.»

Donald Trump: «I’m gonna keep telling em’ how much of a fool you were. They will dance on your grave wherever it may be. Don’t worry about it, they won’t dance for too long, they got better things to do anyway. Your failure will go down to history while my success will live on. You’re the past, Joe, you’re the forgotten past.»

*Years before the events*

*Joe Biden and his wife are sitting in front of TV*

Biden’s Wife: «You think public will fall for that? You think the secret is in the right hands? He won’t let it slip, won’t he?»

Joe Biden: «To each lie there is an end, but for the truth… It will be too late for that, ha-ha. Listen girl, I’ve been corrupt all my life and it all worked out, no repercussions. Public is too dumb, too distracted, they’ll never figure it out. Even by the time they will, frogs will start raining from the skies. Humanity is doomed, let us enjoy peaceful time together without all these idiots running around. Screw politics. I might be corrupt, but I’m not an idiot people think I am. I’m a success. I fooled them. I made it, Joe Biden made it.»

Biden’s Wife: «Oh, you my favorite sociopath! Let an idiot "president" fool an idiot public, but you are my, personal president. President who rules this family, president who doesn’t leave me for some White House fakery. Your plan ensures we can be together till the end of our days. Not everyone can fool the entire world like you did. I love you.»

Joe Biden: «Love you too baby, eeeh… Speaking of idiots… I think he’s getting a hang of it. What wouldn’t he trade for reading a teleprompter in front of American press. Beyond that mask that he has... There is someone else. We are all kind of like him, you know?»

*Present time*

*Closes his diary*

«From there – the massacre. All the blood. 24/7 complete and utter insanity. No other way to describe that. It was chaos. I don’t even know what happened to the world i once knew after that. When the explosion hit, it was a sign of failure. A failure to preserve lives. Then again, I don’t know what the mission was. Might be marked as a success in his report. Either way, I hope the explosion helped and those monsters never reached innocent people. Explosion couldn’t have been large either, that we were taught. They’ll come up with the all possible reasons as to what happened there, but I survived, I know what happened. He’ll probably cut my tongue or sign me under some NDA restricting me from telling anyone the information. If anyone is still alive to tell it to that is. I was sitting here in my thoughts almost forever. I don’t need to eat or do anything of that kind, it’s all stopped, I can feel it. I’ll have to keep sitting here and wait for my call. Who am I telling this but to myself anyway?»

Adrian: «Looking at my diary I feel sorrow, I really am. No positive emotions at all. Then why do I keep it? Repeatedly, throughout the years I kept asking myself the same question I know the answer to. I don’t keep it for the memories, nor do I write much in it. That bookmark with the yellow smiley painted on it… It was my mom’s effort. It’s a reminder of that one day she teached me how to use a pen. If only things were different… I wouldn’t share it for a gun ever in my life. I wouldn’t be a civil servant of a low paid slavery. F*ck that.»

«I stepped to the edge overseeing the bottomless dark abyss underneath. I’m wondering, what is it down there, how it’s like. If I jump, would I start soaring, would it take me away from that path to nowhere, to something, somewhere, shall I be free? And those white orbs I was occasionally passing by. The sound, all that harmony. That reminds me of something...»

*Few months before the operation*

«I am a loner and that I prefer. My partners in arms from the army usually head back to their families or relatives at that time of the year. Out here compared to confined space back in the barracks feels so much more alive, I feel as if I’m actually free. The smell is much better for sure, it is all sweat and urine where I come from. Makes me realize how stuck I am. These sounds and views is too much to process. Nobody is yelling at you or *ss-chewing, birds are chirping. Isn’t that nice. I stacked my leave for whole two months just to experience this. It took a while to reach my «vacation» spot, but really I went to this quiet place by choice.

I am deep in the forest. For the first time ever in my life. This is insane. Those large cliffs and just looking at how sunbeams are striking in, lighting those rocks like fire. And that authentic small town I’m in, near those crazy mountains is well preserved. The hotel there is some 19th century luxury. Right from this very town you could spot the snowy mountain all in contrast with the green pines and oaks. Place is just all in one.

I followed a trail through the dense pines, all solo, by myself. Yeah, it was dangerous. The looks, the smell made up for it. I’m not a tree expert. I don’t even know an exact name of all these trees just yet, but does it matter? Wouldn’t matter a bit what it’s called, who called it what, it just exists, it’s there, I’ve seen it and that’s enough for me. Would be great to revisit this place in Northern California once again with more knowledge. Gotta read the stuff up, magazines, shouldn’t ignore them if I was to revisit this place. The chances for that are probably low, there are more problems going on in the world now than ever. Military is needed as never before. I’ll probably be dead soon, I heard things are heating up. But while I’m here, far away from it all, with the food in my backpack, I’m not worried about dying or getting hungry. Getting squashed by a bear, maybe. Of course, if I’d get lost, knowing which mushrooms to eat, which to ignore can get me out of some nasty situations, I don’t know where my military service will lead me. That’s why I should gather data and pay attention anywhere I can, that’s for the note. To myself of course.

I am in a good mood. Kinda. Walking through here alone means to always stay on my toes, remember landmarks and pay attention to all surroundings. That’s a lot to keep in check if I dare to walk alone, but that also means nobody pisses in my ear while I’m on a journey. I don’t have that much personal space in the army which presses on my nerves big time. Sometimes I gotta take it easy, slow to contain the energy, methodical if I’m in danger, fast when there is no other way. Shouldn’t take too long anywhere either. But having more people covering your back, however, can too prove beneficial. Just not always.

Clouds are soaring into the mountains, dense rainforest is full of waterfalls. Mesmerizing to look at. And the wildlife here... Being here you come one to one with nature. Ground can be a bit steep sometimes though, that’s annoying. I am in the right shape to walk that far. The majority of this place looks untouched by man, except for these trestle bridges. People say temperature is out of control in the recent years, but I haven’t really noticed much difference coming from the New Mexico oven I spend most of the time in now. The only thing to worry about is the volcano ranked as high-threat. Let’s hope it doesn’t erupt while I’m here.

I was glowing, literally. My backpack, jacket, boots, hiking pants, all my clothes are bright yellow. Just happened to be. I wasn’t really in combat or anything, so no worries there. If I would have been, I’d stick out a mile. In any case, no one would let us into the active war zone looking like that.»

*Adrian approaches a structure*

«An obelisk? Here? With a strange lion’s face carved on it…»

*Adrian passes by it*

«During the day the sky was clean, mountains in the far distance had a slight taste of blue tint. The loud sound of the railway is now gone the further away from civilization I went. Wildlife had suddenly appeared. They don’t get along with people too well. Not surprising, as I’d mow every animal I would find, had I picked up a rifle instead of food. If I see a bear, I’ll have to avoid it, I don’t have anything but a sharp knife to defend myself with. Not that I can’t handle it, with my bare hands, I opened up hundreds of cans with food, don’t doubt I can handle a bear. Yeah, no. I shouldn’t get over-confident. Sometimes It’s better off hiding or running away.»

*Adrian plucks off a dandelion*

I’m not gonna be heading towards the mountain, I don’t have the right equipment for it just yet. It’s not as easy as just walking up, I have to prepare. Not gonna be this year, I’m here to take a chill away from the loud noise. Pines are tall here, so it isn’t too hot in the shadows. Still kind of hot. I’m heading to the waterfall right now to cool myself down.

Animals look stressed. They’re running away from me, but for what reason? Could be they’ve never seen a man before or it’s just the color of my clothes revolting them. Hmm. I don’t know.

*Rain drops from a clear sky*

My left ear is laying all of a sudden… *looks up*

*A moment later, the bird flies up to the tree above and sits on a thin branch.*

A bird with a golden beak. An eagle of sorts? Oh, almost forgot, I have sunflower seeds here with me. Here, here birdie, come heeere, c’mon...»

Golden Eagle: *loud bird sounds*

Adrian: «Hey, what, what are you screaming at me?»

*Bird moves it’s head forward*

Adrian: «You want that flower or something? I dropped it back there, hold on.»

*Adrian is seeing a black bear standing on his hind legs right next to him*

Black Bear: *growls*

Adrian: «Oh f*ck. I gotta run!»

*Adrian flinched and ran at full speed*

*Running and jumping over tall stumps, Adrian could still hear bear’s growls behind his back*

«If I stop, if I stop for one second - I’ll be dead meat.»

*Adrian jumps over a short gully and keeps running*

«There are many steep surfaces, obstacles, a b*tch to navigate for me and him, but I seem to do a better job. He’s probably confused now.»

*While running, Adrian started to lose focus, his eyes got blurred with tears along with a mild dizziness*

«Everything’s green in my eyes, can’t distinct stuff. I can barely see.»

*Adrian stepped on a fork, fell hard on his stomach, collected wet dirt with a bunch of splinters in his hand. A fork was too, stuck in his boot, damaging the foot*

Adrian: *sounds of immense pain*

*Adrian’s attempts to unstick the fork from foot are bringing double as much pain*

Adrian: *sounds of double immense pain* «Aah, I got it! Can’t see it from here, but thankfully it wasn’t too deep. *sobbing in hot tears*

I can’t walk, it hurts like crazy. What do I do, I don’t know what to do. Do I wait down here on the ground or keep walking? No, can’t risk it. I have to move forward, find a safe spot. That f*cking backpack crushes down my spine. Why the f*ck did I even come here, this place is not for me. Should have stayed in that awful hotel and watched horses sh*t on the sidewalks. Oh f*ck. Alright, gotta run now!»

*Adrian stands up and moves slowly with a limp*

«Bear is catching up to me. I’m dead for sure, I’m done. Like what the f*ck am I supposed to do? I get my nipples twisted every workweek in the army and all I get is this sh*t? What a way to go.»

*Adrian reached an edge of a cliffside, beneath him is a long and rocky descent, next to him there is a sundial*

Adrian: «A long way down, huh? Well, atleast I’ll die with a nice view. At least I’ve seen it, I’ve seen the wildlife. And what it costed me. I’m tired of this f*cking life anyway. Every Monday they grill our balls, every Tuesday they twist our nipples, Wednesday – dance in wedding dresses, massage general’s feet, mouth-to-mouth exercises with new recruits, I don’t even wanna continue. Now I can finally take a rest, I won’t be forced to repeat this weekly schedule to our commander’s face after each bugle call plays. I’m sick of it.»

*Adrian drops his backpack down the cliff in anger, closes his eyes and raises both his hands directing the sky above*

Adrian: *inhale, exhale* «That’s good.»

*Black Bear approaches Adrian from behind and is ready to strike*

Adrian: «All I wanted was to see a waterfall, dive into the water. Ha-ha, what the f*ck was I even thinking. I won’t fight it, I won’t resist. Not that I have a breath and energy at this point.»

*The rain stopped and the bright golden sunray shines through the gap in the clouds spotlighting Adrian, everything else was tanned dark.*

Adrian: «It’s warm again. Mother?»

Black Bear: *growls*

*Six golden eagles fly up to Adrian and lift him taking him to the horizon*

Adrian: «Is this a dream? This place… It’s a miracle.»

Black Mesa Research Facility – Office

Breen: «*reading an Internet article* Uhm. I wonder how many hairs his bald bucket is about to grow in fear he’s getting swept out of position. He has no clue, no clue at all… Or does he? Don’t think so. Still, will certainly be fun to play around with his brain when we extract it, examine it later on. Curious what results we would get.»

Generic Scientist: «*stepping into the office* Administrator Wallace?»

Breen: «Yeah-yeah, they will all be begging. Fools. Just to imagine their faces looking up on me in horror. Those frightened eyes, these little sheep. «We underestimated you Doctor Wallace Breen, uh-oh, mumble-dumble.» And I would just spit on their snouts from the very top.»

Generic Scientist: «Wallace?»

Breen: «Going in without knocking again? That will get you into trouble you do that again! You understand?»

Generic Scientist: *confused rambling* «Pshh, fshh, I eh, was knocking a minute ago and I… You… I had no response, I fpshh, just…»

Breen: «Stand right there, I said stand right there, don’t come near my desk. Keep your distance. I take it your reasoning being here is valid enough for you actually being here.»

Generic Scientist: *sobbing in tears* I have just seen, I have just experienced.» *crying*

Breen: «Wah, wah, your presence here, it’s distracting me! Straight to the point! Now!»

Generic Scientist: «Another scientist shot himself this weekend after seeing what’s on the other side.»

Breen: «*chuckle* Don’t tell a word to anyone. Send the fool’s remains down to the morgue for his eventual cremation. Unless... In your mind you’re willing to call in forensics snooping around, performing all this unnecessary circus, only for you to be adjudged responsible for his death at the end of the examination. There are many candidates to replace you in your position, mind you. I hope you realize the risks of non-diligence on that matter if this was about to float up to the surface. Just something to keep in mind.»

Generic Scientist: «Uh, no, sir. I’ll send him down to cremation queue right away. It’s just… he was my friend, we studied together, I-»

Breen: «Wonderful. And while you’re at it, bring me some coffee to the desk. I like Espresso. Got to get these extra nutrients! Go, don’t look back. Now, where was I?»

Adrian: «They dropped me right into the frozen cold glacier water, exactly where I was aiming for. Froze my sh*t, hardly tolerable for someone like me. It stressed my injuries a fair amount. I am all shaking in joy, fear and tremendous pain at the same time while staying in that freezing water. I’ve even pissed myself as I normally would 10 years ago on my bed, no doubt. Good thing there are no tourists anywhere around, it would be quite a photo shoot.

This waterfall is real beautiful, haven’t seen anything quite like it.

One of the birds was very large. I think it also carried my backpack on it’s back…

The sun is heating my head, while everything else is just numb. In all the excitement, splashing around like a little kid, I forgot the intricate part of my survival. Resources. In all the stress, hunger just flew out of my head and the uncomfortable rumbling in the stomach quickly reminded me of that. How unfortunate they didn’t bring a backpack to me too, with all the food, but I know, this isn’t exactly a cruise resort. They’ve saved my life, those birds.

In such situations I was trained not to panic. Gotta say, situations that do require panic – make me panic. The less I focus on «what ifs» and more on what’s important, the smoother it can be, otherwise it would lead to a stress overload. That’s why without wasting any time, I’m now heading back to get my backpack. All I gotta do now is to look out for the railroad police, I haven’t paid a dime, normally that would be trespassing.

*sigh* Nothing truly interesting is happening. I know I just got saved by the birds in the most ridiculous way possible, but it was all too cryptic, silent. For so long I haven’t been speaking to anyone, I haven’t met a single person. It is all me rumbling to myself. Perhaps I should just run back to the town, talk to someone, but they’d probably just walk past laughing at me.

I kept heading back to where I think I dropped my backpack and I’m all tired and bored of this wildlife already. It was beautiful the first time, now it really grows on me. This is something you get bored of quick, especially if nothing is happening and even if it does it’s probably something really dumb. I guess I’m more of a city guy, but it is to be expected, I was born in the city and lived in confined space inside the barracks. Can’t stand any of it anymore. This is life…

This is exactly why I should prioritize walking with someone, instead of being all alone. I’d probably get insane talking to myself and myself only. F*ck, I’m probably just exhausted because of this injury. I don’t know what’s going on. Water helped, but I’m still limping. From here I see the cliff and all, they obviously couldn’t take me too far, otherwise they’d drop dead themselves. I am almost there and out of this place as beautiful, mysterious and boring it has been. I’m sure there can’t be a more boring place than this. Uuuh…

*approaches a cliff*

There I am, there I am, I’m here, this is where I dropped it. I think. Oh f*ck, not this again. It isn’t here. Of course it isn’t, as if I haven’t had enough action. I’m willing to just bash my head over this f*cking cliff. When is this sh*t gonna be over already? F*cking hate everything. F*ck me, f*ck everyone. I just can’t express this enough. I’m sick to the guts.

*Inhale, exhale* I’m a marine. I probably wouldn’t get that mental breakdown if these a**holes back there haven’t forced me into a wedding dress every week. Ha-ha, so funny. Not to me, it isn’t. I hope our commander chokes on that apple juice himself instead of giving it to us, lying to us it’s urine. Motherf****r!

And when that happened… When that happened it was disgusting. It took us a 100 reverse push-ups every minute we refused drinking that so-called «urine» only for it to end up being an apple juice. I couldn’t eat after that for 2 days, worried it really was urine. I mean, it looked like it. I’ll never drink apple juice ever again.

Guess what, I’ll have to look for it, despite my heavy lack of desire to do so. I’m hungry and need bandages to wrap my injury. Honestly, I don’t know where to go. I’ll probably just scream for help, which could get me into trouble, but at least then I wouldn’t have my leg amputated because of some infection. It’s dangerous to walk around like this, it can bring an infection.

It is getting dark. That’s it, I’ll be eaten by wolves and no one would care. No one knows me and no one cares about me. *sob*It feels like I was walking for miles, I’m about to drop dead. *hysterical cries*

*Adrian approaches a dead end filled with small cardboard boxes*

What the actual… What is this, why is it here?

*Adrian stepped on one of the boxes, swept the dust, looked closer and attempted to read what’s on it*

Dunkin’ Donuts? Oh for f*ck’s sakes.»

*Adrian hides behind a bush*

(distant noise) Officer Mulvaney: «And I tell him, you don’t pick up a soap like that. No one likes you, why would anyone bother to wind up your tractor.»

Officer Derek: «I had one of those cases before. I’ve spanked a guy from behind a bit, he won’t get nothin’ else. With a drama queen that you are, I’m surprised you haven’t whipped his cream that millisecond.»

Officer Mulvaney: «Ain’t my type. Hol’ on, lemme drop that junk real quick.

*drops 20 empty donut boxes into the trash stockpile*

*sniff, sniff* Ayo, sumthin’ isn’t right heere. *turns on a flashlight* Sum one has been heeere, yee, I can tell. Odor, oof. Woof, woof! Ha-ha. Whistle-whistle little bird. *whispering* Shh, you see it right there?»

Officer Derek: «Quiet, yeah. Well, let’s poke our stick a bit.»

*puts a police rubber baton in between Adrian’s crotch and wags it*

Adrian: «Ugh, that tickles. Stop it!»

Officer Mulvaney: «He-he-heee, he got them balls, alright! Can hardly move my schlong around. Oh, he young too! I say, after all these years, I can finally play cop I craved for. Could ya spread your legs a little, boy?»

*Mulvaney searches Adrian at a slow pace, as if massaging him*

Adrian: «F*cking pervert.»

Officer Derek: «Tongue boy, tongue! *puts a plant into Adrian’s mouth and tapes it*»

Adrian: «Mmmpphh!»

Officer Mulvaney: «Now lean forward a little with your hands behind your back. Gonna have to cuff your hands, you not gonna need em’ from now on! He-he.»

Officer Mulvaney: «We taking you to a police station. Our own. *winks at Adrian*

«A police station in the middle of the woods? This can’t be good I thought to myself.»

Officer Derek: «Wow, look, our stray dog is limping! Well, we have a medic back there, don’t we, hm?»

Officer Mulvaney: «Hmm… Right-right. Doc awaits his assignment, I’m sure he’d absolutely love to carefully examine his body for anything «potential», ha-ha.»

Officer Derek: «Say, Mulvaney, do you still have that interrogation device we could still use to stir him up?»

Officer Mulvaney: «Yeah, it’s right under my bed.»

«From that point onwards I’ve never been so scared in my entire life. I was falling apart, frail. I wouldn’t be able to put up a fight.»

Officer Mulvaney: «So heere weeee are… The police station. We’ll strap you in and send you flying!»

«The police station, apparently, is just an extremely small wooden shack. I’m not even f*cking surprised.»

Officer Derek: «Look, it’s getting dark. Hey, don’t hit your head!»

*Adrian hits his head*

Adrian: «Muuuuuph. Mph, mph!»

Officer Derek: «Told ya, told ya. Now get inside and make yourself right at home. *sigh* Gonna have to uncuuuff you. *clack* Here you go. Now sit down on this bench and don’t move. We have our eyes on you.»

*Derek walks out*

Officer Mulvaney: «Sooo, is he behavin’ heself?»

Officer Derek: «I think so, yeah. Listen, we can’t keep him there uncuffed with no keys. What are we gonna do?»

Officer Mulvaney: «No freakin’ keys. Weeeeell we could try something a lil’ bit different.»

Guard Dog: *bark, bark*

Officer Mulvaney: *looks at Derek* «You thinkin’ what I thinkin’?»

Officer Derek: «Quite indeed possibly.»

Officer Mulvaney: «Ooooh, you kinky, we made for each other!»

*Adrian observes two dark silhouettes snuggling each other for more than a minute.*

Adrian: «Oh, sh*t. How did I get myself into this? I have to get out of here.»

*Mulvaney walks in, face full of lipstick marks*

Officer Mulvaney: «Sooo here I am, you missed me? *holds a collar with a leash in hands* Don’t know if it’s your size, but eeh, you gonna get used to it, I’m sure. *puts a collar on Adrian*»

Adrian: «Mmmuuph.»

«I was nearly suffocating. It was hard for me to breathe. Where the f*ck did he pull out that collar from, a sheep dog?»

Officer Mulvaney: «Derek, could you hold his leash for a little moment? I’ll call our medic to have a look on him. Make sure he is a good boy before he enters this room.»

*Mulvaney walks out*

Officer Derek: «Be a good boy, son. Our medic does not take kindly to naughty ones. He steals their heart in the long run.»

*Medic walks in wearing red high boots, white shorts, sleeveless shirt and a white surgical mask paired with a vintage sheriff hat*

Medic: *drops diapers on the floor* «Medic at your command! Who is in need of urgent assistance here? I don’t suppose it is your young pet over there?»

Officer Derek: «It’s our son, eeeeh… Mickey»

Adrian: «Mmmhamphh!»

Medic: «Mickey. A cute name. I hope you are gonna be as cute of a boy to me when we untape your mouth for… examination. Now. Could you kindly wear off your clothes, you know, for procedures and the like.»

«Right off the bat, that «medic» guy gave me creeps. I could already tell it was that moron cop in disguise. What the actual f*ck is going on.»

Officer Derek: «You know, our boy here is injured, he really tired. We should probably undress him together and take a look up close. Together. Hmm?»

Medic: «Oooh yes, I mean certainly. *takes off Adrian’s jacket, his shirt and observes the body* All this sweat, it’s… Dripping. Muscular. We should hold you a lot tighter, for sure.»

*Medic wipes his body with absorbent cloth and slowly, right from the chest, reaches his hand out for his belt*

Medic: «Now we’ll see how big of… an injury it actually is, I was savouring for this the whole time. Prepare yourself and keep calm. *slaps his cheek*»

«He is almost there… That’s it. I won’t handle this, it is absolutely terrifying. Those two f*ggots.»

Medic: «Belt is gone, noooow for the good part.»

*A woman walks into the room and interrupts the procedure*

Unknown Woman: «What the actual f*ck is going on? I thought you both long over with this sh*t but now this, again? *rips the surgical mask off of Mulvaney*»

Mulvaney: «Sis, I- I didn’t mean that, it was all just a game, he volunteered, haven’t you? Please?»

Officer Derek: «Oh boy. I’ll leave you both to it. *grabs a box of donuts* I’ve got… work to do. *pats Mulvaney on the shoulder and leaves*»

Unknown Woman: «Since the day you married me, you’re hanging around with that fool Derek. You don’t pay bills, you don’t do your job right, even my cat does more job than you, bringing me bag when I’m about to go shopping. If you’re gay, why have you married your sister?»

Mulvaney: «Listen, I like your p***y, but I also love playing with something bigger.»

Unknown Woman: «Oh, because you had your d*ck amputated, is that why? Shouldn’t have sticked it into thick layers of hair for so long, maybe you wouldn’t have had it clogged. Stupid idiot.»

Mulvaney: «Divorce me then, dumb woman, what ya waitin’ foor!?»

Unknown Woman: «I want you to suffer, deprive you from oxygen. Looking forward for you to never breathe again and then I can finally get your house, without your dumb*ss getting back home in such a drunk state! As long as you’re dead, you won’t bother me, my daughter ever again.»

Mulvaney: «Haaa, what? Over my dead body, you wretched witch. Crawl back to your cave.»

Unknown Woman: «Surprise!»

*slits Mulvaney’s throat with a kitchen knife*

Unknown Woman: «Anything to say now, prick? I’m listening! You wasted so much of our time, you disgraceful monster! Yes, you are a monster, that’s who you are, a monster!»

Mulvaney: *suffocating and coughing up blood*

*Rain starts pouring, as the book falls from it’s shelf and gets covered in blood*

*Mulvaney is dead*

Unknown Woman: «*cries and screams* What have I done… What have I done, what have I done… *sits on a chair and sobs* I have no one left. Who’s gonna feed my daughter? Who’s gonna take care of us? I’m too old, I’m ill, all because of him. I should have never listened to his fairytales, married some idiot. I don’t know what to do now, how am I gonna explain this to her and him? She will hate me, she will. I can’t take care of her. I’ll have to take her in, but he won’t allow me, with a bitter lemon that he is… The blood is all over the place.»

*Picks up a covered in blood book from the floor, wipes it*

Unknown Woman: «"From here to there in under a second. Kleiner." It’s tainted in blood. All hope, everything is gone, everything. And you, poor man, yet another victim of their injustice. Most people haven’t withstood what they did to them. Don’t even want to mention what’s the cause of their death is, that would be… inappropriate. *stares at Mulvaney’s dead body soaking in blood*

Anyway, let me free you- Oh. *checks out Adrian’s muscular chest* You’re a maan, yeah. Your body is… High-definition, shall I say. Where have you been all these years, my dear? Where have-»

Adrian: «Mmpheph. MMMPHH!»

Unknown Woman: «Oh, I just… I should probably free you, right.»

*10 minutes later*

Unknown Woman: «Hold me, hold me tight! Yes, yes! Do it again!»

*knock at the door*

Unknown Woman: «Oh no, this is bad. Someone is out there. Probably that fool’s true love Derek. Quick, grab your clothes. Take his gun, hide it. If it’s about to go bad… You know what to do.»

*Adrian puts on his socks*

*knock* *knock*

*Adrian struggles to put his pants on*

Unknown Woman: «Faster, faster! *helps Adrian to tuck things into his pants* Why are your things so big? Come on, come on, let me hold your belt for a moment. Wait, sh*t. We forgot to close the door.»

*door slowly opens*

Woman’s Daughter: «Mother, are you there? *observes Mulvaney’s dead body and her mother holding Adrian’s belt* Aaaah... Perverts! Like this? With a dead body? *tears are flowing* Why do you still do this, mother, why?»

Unknown Woman: «What are you doing here!? I told you to stay at home, girl. You walked that far, through dark woods ALONE? You’re grounded! When we get home, I’ll punish you hard, girlie.»

Woman’s Daughter: «B*tch! Again you talk like this! I am not small anymore, you blind f*ck! Grounded? I stay at home all the time because you never let me out. Can you ever stop being a bossy wh*re and listen to me, for once?»

Unknown Woman: «I’d watch your tongue if I were you, lady. Whether here, whether anywhere, you’re still and always will be my daughter. I will continue keeping you under my wing even if that means locking you inside a square room. You’ll harm yourself out there. Now go back home! Actually don’t, we have strong man here who will take you back home safe. *deep breath* Can you take her home? She will guide you. Make sure you don’t get her into trouble. And you, girl? We’ll have a serious talk once I get back home. Now go, I’ll be here until I clean this mess up. Dismembering matters. *laugh* Can you finally move yourself out of here or we’ll just keep staring at each other? Oh and backpack, is that yours? Here.»

*Adrian takes her daughter’s hand, she forces it out from him*

Woman’s Daughter: «Don’t touch me.»

*Daughter goes back home, Adrian follows behind her back*

*About a hundred meters away from the shack, Daughter stops for a few seconds and starts crying*

Woman’s Daughter: «*cries* Self-righteous f***wit. She is insane, did you see that? She is out of her mind insane! B*tch keeps me here in the woods, I don’t exactly have anywhere else to go, I can’t just run. I won’t survive out there. I’m so pissed with this annoying cop, her switching men like underwear. At least she killed him, that’s progress. I’m so done with her keeping me here.»

Adrian: «Did she ever tell you why, if I don’t mind asking?»

Woman’s Daughter: «Why what, why she keeps me here or why she keeps changing men d*cks like lipstick?»

Adrian: «Uuh. Wow. Uuh. First.»

Woman’s Daughter: «Well f*ck knows. Something about those men in black or she just hates me.»

Adrian: «Men? Which men?»

Woman’s Daughter: «You know, these men that always roam around the forest. What, you never seen them?»

Adrian: «Hate to break it to you, but it isn’t normal when men in suits are interested in where you live.»

Woman’s Daughter: «Well they come every week, staring into the window like creeps. Mother says they’re «guarding» us, but how is it guarding when they document our every move? She says they’re from the White House, whatever that means.»

Adrian: «Something isn’t right here. Do you know anything else about them?»

Woman’s Daughter: «If only. They drive those weird cars. If they have something to do about that facility.»

Adrian: «Is there a facility around here?»

Woman’s Daughter: «Maybe, I don’t know. She showed me photos. Surreal. Unlike anything I’ve ever seen. She also said there are multiple entrances to the facility in the country and all are far apart. Usually it’s some secret area. But she is probably f*cking with me, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s just an excuse to keep me here. She said I’m needed, but never explained why. Mind if we take a different route?»

Adrian: «Sure, sure, but that can get you into trouble, you know.»

Woman’s Daughter: «I can take care of my own, don’t worry. I know a place here, lawn where you can see all the stars.»

*Adrian and the Daughter approach the destination and lie down, watching the sky*

Adrian: «F*ck. It’s beautiful. And the moon is full too. You know, I’ve been to the city once, people there never look up. They’re sleeping. Can you believe that? It’s been decades, if not centuries since they’ve seen an actual pure sky.»

Woman’s Daughter: «You’re not from the cities too? You keep surprising me. Well, I don’t know how it is in the cities, maybe one day I’ll see those skyscrapers myself. Anyway, all this nature? All of it might be gone one day.»

Adrian: «Looking at the current events, surprising we still wake up every day.»

Woman’s Daughter: «The moon. It’s so huge sometimes. One day I hope to visit it. If only I could just appear there right this very moment only at a push of a button. Can you imagine what will happen then?»

Adrian: «Well. That sounds extreme. But when there is no other choice, there’s only one way, that’s up, to the moon. Make sure you press it.»

Woman’s Daughter: «It’s my dream. But I suspect that push of a button will be the last one in my life.»

«Observing a clean sky full of stars and the Milky Way was musical. Right next to rustling trees, leaves and the birds chirping.»

Adrian: «And me? One day I hope to gaze that Milky Way up close, to walk on it. Or dash through it. So that I can see just everything.»

Woman’s Daughter: «You and me… We are both the same. You’re not very talkative, neither am I. Unless you’re just shying away.»

Adrian: «No-no, I’m not talkative by any means. You might be the very first person I’ve spoken to openly. We are made for each other don’t you think?»

Woman’s Daughter: «I suppose. I’m not familiar with men too well. My father is hiding somewhere, mother doesn’t tell me where and why.»

Adrian: «Your story… It’s dark. I hope things get better for you. As for me, well… I’ll have to go back to the army soon. My vacation or should I call it «leave» will be long over and I’ll be back under the legs of our commander.»

Woman’s Daughter: «Like that even? If that’s the case, your story might as well be a lot darker than mine.»

Adrian: «Depends on how you look at it. You get used to it anyhow. Mind if we sleep here together? This is the first and might be the last night we spend together. And I already fell in love with you.»

Woman’s Daughter: «I love you too. Shame we can’t stay together.»

Adrian: «Listen, if one day, one day I’ll get the chance of coming back here, to snatch you from the hands of that wretch woman, I’ll take that opportunity. And I’ll kiss you to death, baby.»

Woman’s Daughter: «You’re great, really great. I hope things get better for both of us one day. If we do everything in our power to reunite…»

Adrian: «Then we will find each other again. I don’t doubt that. We’ll see where it goes, but for now… *puts his hand on her belly* we should take a rest, don’t you think?»

Woman’s Daughter: «I’m all for it then.»

*Both the Adrian and the Daughter sleep an entire night*

…

*Red Half-Moon cries and screams*

Adrian: «Crwieyes fwithougt a face-uh. Craters.?»

*Adrian is seeing a beam of light and hears numbers*

Adrian: «Niners. Dashes.»

*Adrian is seeing a vast, dark horizon with only clouds partially scattering light*

Adrian: *sniffs* «Hmmm… Prfumeh... Tkme waay. Us. . .»

*Beam of light closes*

*Few hours later*

Adrian: «(eyes closed) *sniff, sniff* Mother, what you cooking? M-mother? Mother!»

Woman’s Daughter: «Wake up, wake up!»

Adrian: «Sir, you want me from the back or the front? Oh wait, it’s you, what’s going on?»

Woman’s Daughter: «I can’t make sense of it. It’s the smoke, it’s everywhere, I can’t breathe.»

Adrian: «Run, run, wait, where are you going?»

Woman’s Daughter: «Over here, I’m here!»

Adrian: «I’m getting there, I can hear you, but I can’t see you. There you are, is that you?»

Woman’s Daughter: *waves* «It’s me, I need your help, my home is that way!»

Adrian: «What? No other way but across that freakin’ river? Stay back, stay WAY back. *pulls out a demolition charge*

*Adrian explodes the tree as it falls making a bridge*

Adrian: «There you go. You can now pass through. Oh, it’s Adrian by the way, so remember me!»

Woman’s Daughter: «Adrian, you should get out of here, this wildfire, it won’t stop! Don’t forget about me, Adrian, you hear? I love you, I love you so much!»

Adrian: «Too many wildfires nowadays. F*ck, fine. I love you too baby! Goodbye!»

*Adrian turns back and runs for it as trees behind him crush*

*Present time*

Adrian: «Remembering this… Well, it’s painful, yeah. I never had a woman after that. One and only woman I got along with just slipped past me. You know, I should just finally drop this diary down into that abyss if it doesn’t help, get rid of it forever. It makes me remember the old days, but it might as well be everything wrong with what’s happening now. I wonder how that will reflect.»

*Adrian looks at the diary*

*Door leading to flight deck opens with a portal in it in the haze of darkness.»

«This can’t be… F*cking finally. I thought they forgot about me. Sitting here for so long certainly hasn’t been fun. I gotta get out of here, but… First I have to make sure it’s not a trap.

Don’t know if it’s deliberate, or… My time has finally come. Then again, it could just be a trap to get me working for that weird man again, he hasn’t been keeping me here all this time for nothing? He’s not just gonna let me walk away, that’s a given. What if I just sit here and ignore it, maybe it’ll all pass by itself? I’m fed up with sitting here, so I don’t see any other choice. Unless… I bail and jump down. Could be fatal, if that’s even a way to describe it, but uuh, risk is a risk.

He’ll kill me if I sit and ignore whatever he is offering. I won’t accept it either, I know how it ends. First, you work for them until you turn pale and then – they kill you as you’re no longer useful to them. I’ve seen it in the movies many times. I should apply that knowledge here and go against the system.»

*Looks down*

«There is absolutely no way I’m surviving this. That’s a long way down, actually, there is no ground below at all. I’ll be dead even before I crush my bones, unless low gravity can somehow turn this into a soft landing.»

*Adrian hesitates to jump down or to walk into a portal*

*Adrian takes a seat*

«No. I’m not gonna be someone’s pawn, I’m not gonna be a part of this. I’m not here by choice. Perhaps it’s for the better. He can do whatever he must, but I will NOT be exploited. I don’t know what’s waiting for me behind that portal, not that I care. I still have some dignity left, I’m not some slave, a furniture you can carry around. If he’s gonna show up here again, I’ll spit in his face for that bullsh*t. I’m human, I have rights. All of that for what, for some guy in the suit who can just walk in and take them? My rights? Screw him. Government can bite my *ss, those men in the suits can shove their practices and suck d*ck. I don’t share their methods. People deserve to be treated way better than this. Let that be a lesson to them.»

*Aircraft starts jittering, red lights are flickering and portal starts aggressively zapping*

«Ha. Whatever. Do as you want, I don’t care. Motherf*ckers think I’m stupid. They think I’m bound to whatever THEY want. They are mistaken. I’ll stay here, even if it’s gonna strangle me to death. I’m better than this.»

*Adrian starts shaking in fear while holding hand on mouth anxiously breathing into his fingers*

Adrian: «I can’t… I’m gonna die. I don’t wanna die. What if I’m gonna die. What if… I gotta hurry fast.»

*Adrian steps closer to a portal and carefully observes it.*

«There you are, sparkling there. Are you gonna take me away from here? Hm, I’ll think about it.»

*Puts his hand into the portal as it sucks him in full*

*Adrian is sleeping*

???: «Wakey-wakey, puppy.» *slaps Adrian’s cheeks gently*

Adrian: «What the… Uuh… It’s hot in here, confined and it shakes me every second. Barely any oxygen. Where am I, who are you?»

Samuel: «Ah, it’s always hard to wake up. Name is Samuel. And you are on a typical Russian train somewhere in Urals. Do not be surprised or scared, I know you are, being from United States military.»

Adrian: «How do you know about that?»

Samuel: «Uh… *irritated breathing* It is your uniform. That should not be hard to guess. Now, Shephard. You don’t ask me questions unless I tell you to, you don’t talk off-subject and you pay attention while keeping your mouth closed. Our time frame is limited and we are running short. Stay concentrated.»

«I don’t know why I ended up here. It’s all too confusing. The guy that woke me up is a strange dude indeed. His pronunciation is all over the place. I know we aren’t the best either, our education is a barrel of sh*t, but this guy is really struggling. I wonder if that’s because he’s from the east, he has pronounced Asian facial features. I don’t know. His clothing is shabby, that white shirt with red C-17 logo on his left sleeve makes him look like he escaped prison or mental asylum. By how he talks I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the case. And his eyes. Oh, f*ck me. He stares at me in the scariest way possible, for a moment there it looked like his pupils changed to cat’s. What the actual f*ck happened to this world? Is everyone like that nowadays?»

Adrian: «I’m not talking to sick in the head»

Samuel: «And I don’t need to hear your small-talk. Know, that’s not gonna make your… Our situation any easier. Hide tongue all you want, but when you’re gonna need help, you will regret your decision. For now, at least sit and listen.»

Adrian: «Let’s hear it then, smart*ss. This better be good.»

Samuel: «Your… Terms could be a bit more respectful. I am aware you probably had daddy issues, but control your language.»

Adrian: «I just woke up heading to who f*ck knows where and you are sitting here giving orders? Confused as to who you even are. You know what, I don’t even know why I bother. Go back to your tray, Asian cat f*ck. And don’t meow at me while I leave, I’ll bark so hard your d*ck is gonna fall off, you’re not gonna have anything left to lick.»

*Adrian stands up and heads to the door, attempting to move away from the dialogue. Samuel undercuts Adrian with his leg, as he falls hitting his head.*

Samuel: *grabs Adrian by his neck and punches his face* «Listen to me very diligently. You don’t understand how important the matter is. Kindly let me finish and hunker your *ss down. If you have anything else to say, next time, I’ll grab you by the balls instead. Do I make myself clear?»

Adrian: «Why the punch, I haven’t touched you. I expect more manners from someone coming from anthills. *whisper* I don’t.»

Samuel: «You make me sick. *hits a table* Waking up, first thing you do is squabble. If you don’t shut up, I’ll throw you out the window. That dumb brain of yours thinks it’s time to make jokes. Well no, you will change how you act when you see what happened to this world. You will, mark me on that.»

Adrian: «*touches bruise* Aah… Speak then, if that makes you feel important. As*hole» *spits into Samuel’s face*

Samuel: *irritated, stuttering breath* I’ll just… *wipes spit off the face* I’ll just pretend that never happened. You’re testing my patience, that alone was enough for you to lose my respect. I can’t see ourselves working together on the right foot or ever at this point. You don’t deserve knowing anything. I was a higher opinion of yourself, but… You are a complete animal. Look at you, your smug face. Confident. *short mocking laugh* We’ll see how "cool" you’ll be at your next stop.»

Adrian: «Blah-blah-blah. My stop is: literally anywhere where I can’t see or hear an annoying c***k telling me what am I supposed to do. Go back to North Korea and hunt for spaghetti or whatever you chew down there. Don’t f*cking bother me, don’t even try.»

Samuel: «Childish, but I haven’t expected anything else from you. Listen, you’re very lucky, that’s right, you’re VERY lucky for not taking a ride in the prisoner pod, instead sitting here in semi-favorable conditions.»

Adrian: «What the f*ck are you even talking about? You had your pills today, bud? This all must be a joke, a big one.»

Samuel: «Great idea. Let’s sit here in all the confusion and joke around. The only reason why you are still alive is because you can prove yourself useful, but keep this up and you’re going to be picking your teeth up from that table.»

Adrian: «Threats? From you? There is no way at all you’re gonna do that. Try it and you’re gonna find yourself on a stretcher crying yourself to-*winks once*

*Dialogue interruption – Samuel*

*Right as Adrian winks, Samuel uses a moment to hit Adrian in the eye*

Adrian: *pain scream* «The eye, why the eye man?»

Samuel: «Because apparently you have nothing bigger to punch. Now stop crying like a little girlie and listen. You are making this unnecessarily dramatic, all of it. I’m getting disappointed in how you behave, you’re probably not gonna stand a chance being such a fragile whiner.»

Adrian: «Fine, I’m listening, man, I’m listening. F*ck.»

Samuel: «The world had changed, drastically. Probably not going to spoon-feed you with that attitude of yours. No point, you’re going to forget this anyway. All I can tell you is you keep your head in the game, you stay cautious. There are green marks out there that you can find under rocks, they will lead you to where you need to go. Everything else you’re going to learn by yourself, you haven’t deserved any more explanation. After this harassment that you decided to go with, no, there will be no more dialogue. I can only give you these berries, I hope you’ll choke.»

*Samuel gives Adrian berries and he puts them into the inventory*

Adrian: «These berries are strange, haven’t seen anything like that before. If you hadn’t given me that shiner I’d probably look closer but you just had to make it harder for me. My eye sight isn’t exactly great in the other eye.»

Samuel: «You shouldn’t have talked so much.»

Adrian: «Yeah, spare me the details, motherf*cker. Screw that, urgh. Where’s toilet? I need a sink.»

Samuel: «Left and down the hall. Don’t come back.»

Adrian: «I sure won’t. Wait, where is the train headed, how long till we get wherever it is?»

*Samuel pushes Adrian out from the coupe and closes the door*

Adrian: «This c***k… Bigot, a real bigot.»

*Adrian tries to get to the toilet as the train shakes*

Adrian: «Haven’t they learned how to make trains in Russia? What is that? I feel like I’m high.»

«I looked outside the window and was astounded by all the vegetation. Been a while since I’ve been out in fresh air. Actually, it’s not fresh yet, there’s some sort of an unpleasant odor in here. Can’t wait to get out of that train.»

*Adrian walks into a toilet room and locks the door*

*Adrian looks into the mirror*

«Shhh, wow. Haven’t seen myself in the mirror for years. Looks like I haven’t changed a bit, must have been frozen in time in that aircraft all this time.»

*Adrian washes his face*

«Everything feels so new, even water. Man, this room is so awkwardly narrow, it’s like I’m back to these awful Black Mesa vents yet again. I’m jittering at the thought of headcrabs in these narrow spaces… F*ck. I think I have PTSD.»

*Adrian looks at toilet*

«Alright, fine. If I’m here, I better take an opportunity to take a piss.»

*Adrian attempts to piss straight into a toilet, but struggles due to train shaking*

Adrian: «Oh, f*ck, come on, come on, stupid train. I can’t even f*cking relax in here. Feels like I’m back in the army for small-arms training when they forced us to hold our d*cks instead of giving us guns. Sh*t.»

*Adrian tucks his belongings in and fixes his clothes*

«Finally. Aiming into that small toilet required some skill. D*ck holding training paid off. Eh, gotta wash my hands again.»

*Adrian heads back to coupe*

Adrian: *knocking* «Okay sugardaddy, here I am. Pissed, just as you wanted me. *attempts to open the door* Are you gonna open the f*cking door? Please? Sh*t, f*ck. Please, listen, I-…»

*Door opens*

Samuel: «Get in, you idiot. Keep rattling and you are going to attract unnecessary attention. This wagon is monitored. Trust me, you don’t want to meet it’s staff.»

Adrian: «I thought we haven’t gotten ourselves on the right foot as you said or whatever you weirdo meant by that. Changed your mind?»

Samuel: *puts the head down in irritation and starts breathing in annoyance*

Adrian: «Is everything that serious while I’ve been gone? First, what is wrong with your clothes? Are these mandatory? Hm?»

Samuel: «You are not quick-witted. Not at all. I’m not impressed. The only result of something as massive as the Black Mesa Incident is the complete and total control. Only as tempting as it sounds, it had it’s cost and the effects on humanity. That answered your question? Now don’t talk, I see you are not utterly ignorant, there is some intelligence in your head after all. I hope you can listen.»

Adrian: «Hey, now you are plain harassing me. Why would I listen to someone treating me like sh*t?»

Samuel: «No, you certainly are stupid. What you know about this new world, how attentive you are depends on your own survival. No one but me will ever spoon-feed you. If you are not willing to listen – you are a goner.»

Adrian: «*sigh* Fine, fine. Say what you have to say, I hope it’s useful. Moron.»

Samuel: *straightens his neck and breathes* «Annoying. Before you repeatedly interrupt me once again, I do have to make it clear, the world you’re in now, it’s different. I… Assume you are not aware as to what’s going on. This world, it’s drained up dry, isn’t much resources left. Would be embarrassing to see it devastated to such an extent, risks taken for nothing. It’s thrown off balance and is now trembling in ashes. We can change that, me and you. You can help me and my associates get what belongs to us and repair humankind from the aftermath that Black Mesa Incident caused. A cow can only be milked this far.»

Adrian: *quietly laughs* «This is the most cryptic thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Moo, ha-ha, eh…»

*Samuel is pursing lips and for a short time covers face with the hand, breathing heavily*

Samuel: «Listen for once, I need you to control yourself and think soberly, is it too much to ask?»

Adrian: «Then quit with these stupid metaphors. You really made me crack a giggle, that cow thing was outrageous. Bravo!»

Samuel: «Your reaction is going to be different when you step foot outside this train. Mark me on that!»

Adrian: «I’ll mark it on your forehead, c*nt.»

Samuel: «I regret ever coming in contact with you. Your cognitive abilities might have been repressed, could have affected your mental state. You are unfit to perform this task, pathetic miserable creature you are. *screams at Adrian* I am not willing to mollycoddle some inept child!»

Adrian: «Ha, listen, your voice is cracking. You don’t sound so "big" and pretentious now. Though you do sound like you failed to drop a turd down the toilet. Where did your "gentleman" act go now?»

Samuel: «So unreasonable. Ballsy. Pathetic. I’ve got better things to do than sitting here with sh*t up to throat trying to convince you.» *hits folding table with one fist as it unusually breaks apart with a loud rattle*

Adrian: «Wow. I hope you’re happy. Gonna be a tough one to explain this to a train manager, if there is one that is…»

??? (behind the coupe door): «Confirm noise activity in coupe area. About to make entry.»

???(2) (behind the coupe door): «Roger. Require Uh…Uuuh… Urgent… Mutual pacify procedure?»

??? (behind the coupe door): «Unnecessary fuss. No, negative. Keeping chatter on. Learn deep and practical disciplinary methods, listen for potential howling.» *turns on electrical stunstick*

*laughs*

*loud knocks on the door*

Adrian: «*looks at Samuel for a brief moment* *whispers* Ha, you’re done, yes. *fist pump gesture* Security, finally, security, there’s some crazy delusional dude here causing trouble! Typical noisy catfood c***k. *unlocks and opens door* There’s the- What the actual...»

«I feel shivers. I even twitched in fear a bit. I’m absolutely terrified. It’s not a train manager or a conductor, nowhere close in fact. Guy in front of me is some serious special forces sh*t. First it looked to me he had an open skull, but looking closer I figured it’s just some tacky white gasmask. Still, what the actual f*ck.»

Adrian: «Woah, wow, wait, what, why…»

Metropolice: *holds powered stun baton right next to Adrian’s jaw* Who… You! Subject, you are not authorized to use this train.»

Adrian: «Listen, I am thankful for your free shaving session, but uuh… How about I just leave then? That sounds good?» *tries to walk out*

Metropolice: *stomps on Adrian’s foot and pushes him hard* «You are now detained! Stay on current spot, don’t move!»

Adrian: «How am I detained, hey, for what? I know my rights!» *gets hit with a stunstick*

Metropolice: «You have no rights, loser! Ha-ha. Join our ranks, maybe then we’ll have something to talk about. But for now… *pulls out a cellphone and starts recording* Hey, you look like a construction worker. How about you fix that table over there? Get to it.»

*Adrian pretends to pick up a broken table and suddenly charges to snatch a phone*

*Metrocop reacts and punches Adrian’s face*

Metrocop: «*screaming for help* Hey, requesting backup over here!»

Metrocop #2: «Sh*t. *drops a magazine on the table and zips his pants* I’m coming, I’m coming. What’s going on? *runs to coupe and falls* This stupid shaky train, I hate it! Man, I’m also not feeling too well. Not focused.»

Metrocop: «*keeps blocking Adrian* Help is coming. We are gonna f*ck your hole up for sure. Should have been a good boy.»

Adrian: «Gay motherf*cker. Let me out! Don’t wanna be a part of your porn movie.»

Samuel: *irritated and breathes impatiently* I’m tired of listening to these children. I can’t believe this is happening.» *pulls a glass-bottled cola out and smashes Metrocop’s head*

*Bottle breaks and covers Metrocop’s mask with liquid blocking the view*

Metrocop: «I can’t see anything, man!» Where are you, I need help! *swings stunstick in all directions*

*Samuel takes Metrocop by his leg and arm and holds him over the head*

Adrian: «The f*ck? You must be a serious wrestling superstar. Guess what all this soy food does, turning a kitty p***ycat into a mammoth.»

*Second metrocop approaches the coupe*

Second metrocop: «Sh*t, what? This is a wrong time, this is so wrong! I smell, I can barely walk, I-»

*Samuel throws a metrocop at him with immense force*

*Both metrocops are flying out of the window breaking glass*

Samuel: *closes a coupe door and takes a seat*

Action Interruption – Sitting Attempt

Adrian: «This is-»

Samuel: «*aggressively interrupting Adrian* Shut up! *shows him a fist* *sigh* Now, let’s… Let’s keep chatting. Shall we?»

Adrian: «Insane. That was insane. Who were they? The police?»

Samuel: *laughs* «Police? We are way past that point. You see these outposts outside?»

*Adrian looks outside the window and observes many watchtowers with a strange logo on them and many outposts with blue-colored defense obstructions*

Samuel: «The «Combine» have set them all up. They are the humanity’s worst enemy as of now. Because of them, the majority of humanity is now dead or a part of that lifeless machine. They have a fool in charge, «Breen» who stays on his position of «Earth administrator» for longer than… we initially expected. Nothing matters to them but to rule, control, dictate and enslave everything and everyone around them. It is up to remaining humans on what the next step for humanity is gonna be. Actually… It’s up to us. Here’s an opportunity.

I am a scout for one and only line of resistance in City 17 yet. Judging by your uniform, I suspect some of them could even well be your friends. Those military members who took part in the Black Mesa clean-up operation and ultimately failed found themselves hiding from the… Government authorities after their next orders hit. Almost nobody had the will to stab the civilian population in the back for a paycheck and get their ranks demoted to some «mercenaries» digging up trashcans. Not everybody went that route, but a considerable amount did. Some people don’t share the same sentiment the Combine do and I understand that. Those remaining, ones calling themselves «the Revolution» are hiding themselves in the bunkers planning their strategy of overthrowing current totalitarian regime once and for all, while also trying their best to expand the network. Now, I am with those remnants, I also help them find an extra force they could use to get an upper hand. Are you willing to become a part of it and reunite with your squad?»

Adrian: «Are you signing me up for some extremist sh*t? Where is the president? This can’t be all that bad.

Samuel: «They told me you were stupid. Stick your head out of your *ss and listen. I’ll repeat one more time, if you don’t hear me out, I’m done with you. The «president» or… Whatever is left of him was cut piece by piece, frozen and sold to Breen’s private collection. If you are so fond of president, you might as well jump to Breen’s toes and kiss them, he is your *short laugh* «president» now.»

Adrian: «Why would some necrophilian collector be my president? I thought modern day politicians is as bad as it gets. *sigh* You know what? At this point I don’t see a difference. Keep going.»

Samuel: «Well, let him do the talking instead.» *picks up a television remote and turns on TV above the coupe exit*

Wallace Breen: «Throughout the decade we have suffered our lowest point in human history. Our greatest weaknesses have become more apparent as we started losing control over our own lives, places we used to call home. We have experienced the worst that could possibly come to mind. But that has not stopped us from accomplishing an unthinkable. All of you on the civilian side who stand united along with us, who are patient enough to see the brightest future ahead, right on the horizon, as we sail directly towards it, holding hands, shoulder by shoulder, through storms or flaming weather, we can foretaste it, on our tongues, the anticipation of opportunity and greatest strength. It’s right there, each and every single day we get closer, we move towards it and we feel powerful as never before. Bright sparkle flashes our eyes as we levitate. Relax and sip. There are a thousand points of light up there in the sky, so stare… At the stars… You were once human, a little pesky creature that is scolded upon, in the dark freezing corner near steel and narrow walls. But now, you are more than human, you come to realization of your own secrets you have not known and fly above the cage towards the starry galaxy. You are the first to experience. We have almost reached the destination. Transformation is closing in on us. And soon enough, you will be taken and greeted warmly. Stay with us. Stay with me. We believe in each other, we believe in you. See you in City 17.»

Adrian: «I feel like I just got dumber. Is this like the comedy show or anything like that? If he tried his best to be inspirational, I’m afraid he only made himself look like an idiot. I guess this guy really likes the sound of his own voice. Who is this aimed for anyway?»

Samuel: *pulls out a can of water* «This is water.»

Adrian: «Not blind. What, are you gonna lap it up? If you are a fan of that TV fruitcake, I’m not gonna be surprised you’re gonna use your d*ck to suck it in.»

Samuel: «Quit with the "tough guy" act, please. This is not the water you’re used to drinking, whatever it might be, uh...

*Dialogue interruption – Adrian*

«You mean apple juice disguised as our commander’s urine?»

*Desperate and annoyed breathing* What an idiot… No, this is poison. Even water was weaponized. The substance you can barely call water that you see is almost indistinguishable from the spring water. It will however send your mind flying, causing top-A hallucinations, knocking you out unconscious. It gives off a happy-happy effect to whoever drinks it. This water is given to those targeted for forced relocation to City 17. It is occasionally mixed with the Breen’s «private reserve» to make people easier targets for brainwash. What you’ve just seen is an advertisement of the current «Earth administrator» to the people still living in regions where Combine have seized operations, leaving those "unfit" sterilized or forced into their ranks. Who suffers the worst is women. Most of them are being abused by metrocops in every way imaginable when they fall asleep. We haven’t even scratched the surface yet.»

Adrian: «What? *shaking* I’m… Panicking. I hope this is just a horror story, I hope it is. F*ck. *has a nervous seizure and lays down* I feel terrible… Nauseous.»

Samuel: «Hey, I know this is a lot to take in. You’re still young and sensitive.»

Adrian: «That water thing… I’m going f*cking mental. What the f*ck am I supposed to drink then? I’m gonna feel paranoid to ever drink water. Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!» *starts crying and slowly mashing a pillow*

Samuel: «I thought you were a marine… *looks at Adrian* Ugh. You are a marine! *taps Adrian’s shoulder* Come on, don’t be a crybaby. You are trained for this, I’ve se- I… Know you are.»

Adrian: «Combine, man, what do they combine? What is this, where are we?»

Samuel: «Don’t worry, you are safe with me. Here, I have good water.»*pulls out one glass-bottled cola drink*

Adrian: «If this is what good water looks nowadays, you better just kill me now.» *sob*

Samuel: «I know you have a lot of questions. I’ll try to make it quick. *taps Adrian on the shoulder again* Be strong. So… Things have changed, arguably for the worst. Someone like you… *looks at Adrian staring googly-eyed into the pillow* Ugh… Someone like you is… May be capable to set things back into the order. Think of Combine as a bunch of bad guys who came here to drain resources, kill, enslave, things like that… *Adrian shuts eyes firmly* And, ugh… *Samuel leans back and looks into the window direction*And… *slow sigh* Something like that.»

Adrian: *after short pause* «Heey, I’m listening!»

Samuel: «Ah, yes. They came roughly after the Black Mesa Incident. So, the Breen guy, well, he is the biggest bad guy in charge. He is your enemy. Alright? You also have friends. Um… Meee and some other marines that have survived the incident. You listening?»

Adrian: «F*ck sakes man, could you share more details? I’m not a 10 year old, don’t talk to me like that.»

Samuel: «I thought you needed it in a more "friendly" manner, seeing you’re not well and all.»

Adrian: «Give me a f*cking break, man. Just talk. Just keep talking.»

Samuel: «You have plenty of time to gather your thoughts, I don’t expect you running directly into the flames, but you have a lot of time. Should help you acclimate.»

Adrian: «Listen man, eh… This was the last thing I expected to see. The view from here… It’s grim. Even under the sunlight seeing this, it’s… Depressing. I’ll do what I must to put an end to this and I trust you have our best interest at heart. I’m just… Confused.»

Samuel: «I know. Now, don’t worry, all these outposts are long abandoned. Combine don’t go there anymore. This is one of the only forests on Earth where wildlife hasn’t been touched, spot that hasn’t turned wasteland just yet. «Combine» has more important things to worry about. Something keeps them away from the forest, something even they are afraid of. That grants us an advantage. They have no idea what we have. We have enough firepower to arm the entire City 17 to teeth.»

Adrian: «What is City 17?»

Samuel: «Uh, some hole in Russia. It’s name is not really important anymore. There is another city nearby, City 14. Industrial one. Had many factories right in it. But because of all the emissions prior and especially after the Combine’s takeover, everybody who lived there had their lungs… Smoked.»

Adrian: «Oh… Yeah. Things got really bad. Sh*t. What do I do, how do I find my guys then? You have a map, directions? Anything?»

Samuel: «The forest we’re in, it has a lot of signs, marks. Check every corner, look behind every rock. There are green messages here and there that tell you on where to go next. If you get really lost, well... Remember those berries I gave you?»

Adrian: «So what are they?»

Samuel: «These are not ordinary berries, you see. After the Incident, along with many new kinds of plants they started growing in these forests. Same ones you’d find in the border world. Now. Here is my tip on this. Don’t eat them unless you really must and you’re lost. Don’t turn this into an addiction. They might mislead you too, but in this matter of urgency, it might as well play on my… Our side. Take them with a… Pinch of salt. Not literally of course.»

Adrian: «Can I try one now?»

Samuel: «No. Keep them, but don’t try them right now. They are limited after all.»

Adrian: «I see. What about food?»

Samuel: «Cola is the only drink I can offer. I would have given you a second bottle, if I haven’t had to use it.»

Adrian: «Ah, isn’t beer, but that will do. Got anything substantial to eat?»

Samuel: «I’m afraid not. I’m sure you can find more resources in the woods, perhaps someone to eat.»

Adrian: «Could use an MRE at least, but fine. I guess I’ll have to find food on my own.»

Samuel: «This train we’re on, you know, it isn’t normally like that. They’d put you into a prisoner pod with little to no movement allowed, but they ran out of them. Last trains that headed there… They never came back. They are on halt because of what is about to happen there.»

Adrian: «So where are we headed?»

Samuel: «Train is headed to Nova Prospekt, prison worse than any concentration camp. Let’s say something serious is about to go down there and Combine are aware of that. I’m sure you’ve heard of Gordon Freeman, well, he’s headed to Nova Prospekt as we speak. Only, he’s nowhere close. He doesn’t even have the orders yet, but heads the right direction.»

Adrian: «Well, I’ve seen someone who looked like an orange barrel in Black Mesa, I assume it’s him.»

Samuel: «Yes. Might as well be him. Now, things don’t seem to be in his favor. The entire place is run by Combine and he is about to make an assault on the place entirely by himself. I doubt he’s gonna get out of there alone or at all. The teleporter they have there is unstable and he has no real allies. I wouldn’t bury him just yet, but we need someone who is capable enough of pushing the resistance while he’s there. Even then going from Nova Prospekt to City 17 is a considerably long way. We have to wait and see. While he is at it, you should acquaint yourself with the new world.»

Adrian: «May I ask, how do the Combine know that Gordon Freeman’s mission is to head to Nova Prospekt, but he, himself, doesn’t even know it yet?»

Samuel: «Hm. I suppose someone might have… Spilled the information to them. Probably to slow things down.»

Adrian: «Strange. Wait. We are headed to a heavily guarded prison, what, with two cola bottles and a bunch of berries? Are you kidding me?»

Samuel: «Well… About that.» *looks outside the window*

Adrian: «What, what is it?»

Samuel: «One last thing, Adrian. Ever survived a head concussion?»

*Train goes off the rails, turns over a few times and crashes hard*

???: (Voice) «Hey, I thought we are raising banksters here, not soldiers.»

???:(2) (Voice) «No, enough with the cowards for now. You can share your magickal toilet paper for as long as you want, but when the disaster hits, what are you gonna do then? Slap together a cabin, hide in it as if that’s gonna help and wipe your butt? That’s all it’ll be good for. You are not taking it to your grave. The world will burn along with your money.»

???:(Voice) «Well, about that, I can always pull off that Jeff’s «head in a jar» method he strives for all these years. Then I’m gonna live forever, ha-ha!»

???:(2) (Voice) «Uhm. Will you please, don’t make me laugh. Not sure how that would work, even then, I bet that whiny face of yours won’t be used for anything half-appropriate. You’d wish you’d be dead. Thing is, it could prove very useful in the long-term. Here we shape all kinds of different people. That program we developed, it could really stir things up in not so distant future. Would serve our interests very well.»

???: (Voice) «Meh, probably just another wasted effort.»

???:(2) (Voice) «We gotta try. Depends a lot which direction he heads in the future. If he survives that is.»

Adrian: «My head.*moans* Aaaargh… What the f*ck.» *observes Samuel running away at the storm of bullets*

«That crash was very hard, surprised I even woke up. I feel weakness, cold sweat dripping, that panic gave me a dose of stress. Felt like this is the end, no way I’d survive this, I would never recover. For a moment there I felt like it was a straight death sentence, I was already picturing how my neck is gonna snap or I’m gonna get irreversible injuries. It’s like you’re trapped in a cage and thrown to choke right into the water, barely any hope. This is how I felt, it’s like you subconsciously just give up because of the pressure that flows in, simply overloads you, something you can’t control. Terrifying experience.

That Samuel guy is not a simple man, if he is a man at all. His eyes are still haunting me, also how he was constantly shaking off dust on his clothes. There’s something he is not telling me, but if he was my enemy, surely he wouldn’t tell me all that information. I’ll try to follow his direction.»

Adrian: *coughing off dust* «The smell. Ugh.» *climbs out of the broken coupe window*

«And when I got out, there I knew, it was his plan all along. I looked back and caught a glimpse of a somewhat deep crater under the broken rails. It was a planned attack on the train. Rails might have gotten detonated or something like that. Crater is so big that it created a wide pit. It split two areas in half. On the other side a bunch of armed dudes gathered, some sort of a special unit inspecting damage.»

Civilian: «*sniffs left and right* Mmmhm. A smell of freedom. Yeeees! I’m free! Catch me if you can, dumb metrocops!» *mockingly jumps*

Metrocop: «Urghh. *speaks quietly* Who does this guy think he is… Requesting collaborated attack on a disobedient escapee.»

Metrocop №2: «Let’s just not waste our time, speaking like that is way above our payroll. F*ck, we don’t have payroll, shoot him now!»

*Civilian is brutally shot on sight*

*Civilian is dead*

Adrian: *laughs*

«Just couldn’t resist. Idiot climbed out the window and started dancing around thinking they’re gonna run for him, what an idiot. Metrocops? That’s their name. Wait, what? Are we in like… Alternate reality? I don’t understand a thing of what’s going on.»

Metrocop: «Should we take care of the body?»

Metrocop №2: «Just throw him into the bushes, let headcrabs enjoy their meal. Listen, they’ll probably fire us, write us all up as failures.»

Metrocop №3: «Sh*t. I regret being here with you guys. There I was thinking I’d get a raise I was promised tomorrow. So much for being a safeguard, we should just go rogue and forget about this business. Joining civil protection was the worst decision of my life, apart from getting married. Again, the only reason I married is to have someone I can manhandle. My children too. Man, that was a good time, shame they had to get sterilized after the 7-hour war hit, that kinda saved them from me.»

Metrocop №2: «What a motherf*cking creep you are. Anyway, let’s get out of here. *looks back* Waaait a second. And who is this a**hole?»

Adrian: *waves and runs away*

Metrocop: «Get him quick! We need a punching bag we can tie up. Come on guys, shoot!»

*Metrocops are attempting to kill Adrian*

«And so I ran. These guys are losers and a bunch of thugs. How did they become cops when they are so hostile to everyone? Oh. Samuel told me about Combine. Are these guys Combine? Man, I couldn’t give two sh*ts about what he told me, but I gotta keep running.»

Metrocop: «We have flareguns everyone. Perhaps we can draw attention of the other soldiers?»

Metrocop №2: «We are hours away from our allies though. Still, we could try, our attempts can’t be useless after all.»

Metrocop: *shoots a flare gun*

Metrocop №2: *shoots a flare gun*

Metrocop №3: *shoots a flare gun and sets a bird on fire with it* «Bullseye!»

Metrocop: «Maniac. Alright squad, let’s move, let’s put that dog down!»

*Ten other metrocops joined a chase*

*Adrian runs for a few minutes and hears gunfire from all directions*

«I am surrounded.»

*Adrian hides behind a rock*

«I can see them from all directions. Bullets are flying everywhere, sh*t, they probably know where I am. What if I just hide, let my camo do the trick.»

*Adrian drops on ground and tries to come off as grass*

«What are they gonna do to me… What are they gonna do to me with those batons? I don’t wanna know.»

*Metrocops get a lot closer to Adrian and an even louder gunfire erupts*

«Rifles now join the fun. I’m dead. I have nothing to put up a fight with.»

*Tracers are flying above Adrian’s head, as their light reflects on ground*

«I hear screams. Do they shoot each other? What’s going on?»

*A minute later everything around Adrian was calm*

Adrian: «Quiet. It’s quiet now. *stands up slowly* No way. How?»

*Adrian is encircled by ten dead metrocops not far from him*

*Adrian goes up to a dead body of one of the metrocops*

«All cops I see, all shot in the head, only head. Sounds, sounded like whoever killed them used AK-47. It was also all from far away distance. Their precision is incredible.»

*Adrian hears an echo*

Echo: «Niiice, nice, nice job everyone!»

«Someone with an accent. It could be them, whoever saved me. Should I follow their direction? Hm. They saved me, can’t tell whether it was deliberate. What if they are maniacs who kill just everyone? Curiosity can get me killed, perhaps I shouldn’t follow them. Oh and there’s that green mark Samuel was talking about, it’s under a rock! It points an arrow to an opposite direction, the river I can barely see from here. Samuel told me I should follow wherever these green marks point me, that I can finally find my "friends". What if he was lying and he’s setting me up? Then again, why would he do that? That guy was really strange, his eyes… Now I heard these people, an alluring option, I’m just really curious who these guys are. What if they kill me, or worse? I don’t know, it’s hard to decide. What’s right and who’s favored?»

*Adrian ignores a green arrow from under a stone and decides to follow an unknown pack of people he heard far distance*

«The dumbest option, yeah. Still, I’m scared of that Samuel guy. I’d never follow his advice.»

«Oh boy, I feel really really bad. Good thing I’m alive, I guess, but I won’t hold my breath for my luck to bounce back. I can’t really call it luck, I’d be a lot luckier if I was dead, I think. All of it, it’s just too much to process. I’m really agitated. Could it be temperature? Should really wear warmer clothes if I find any.»

*Adrian opens the inventory*

*Adrian looks at berries in his bag*

«Those berries, they will not satisfy my hunger. Samuel said I should eat them if I’m lost. Problem is, at that point I don’t really trust the guy. If he wants me to be vulnerable, drugged, weak or whatever, he would probably aim for that. Even then, it might as well be a poison of some kind that would kill me very slowly, a delayed death perhaps. I don’t know, I might be just paranoid.»
«There is also a lot of dust here. If my hunger gets too bad… Actually I should probably just ignore it.

It’s literally just dust, what’s there to note about? There’s a lot of dust here, perhaps I can use it as a weapon or in worst case scenario – food. I’d probably vomit for days or kill my lungs in the process. Anything can happen, but effects will undoubtedly be negative.»

«I also have a diary here. I don’t need it and I won’t need it for anything. It’s just memories, just the fact that I have it in my bag, it soothes me.»

«Samuel… Hm. He is a mystery. I don’t know anything about him, apart from him trying to hitch me up in his plan. I don’t know his goals and I don’t understand his motivations. At that point I think he’s just trying to kill me. I never really met too many Asians in my life, well I met some of them and completely hated them even at a first glance, but this guy is extraordinary, never quite seen anyone like him. He was constantly wiping off dust, fixing his clothes in a weird manner. Maybe he’s ill, maybe he’s just uncomfortable or he doesn’t like me. Exact reasons I just don’t know. Something was seriously wrong with his eyes, I think I’ll get him in my nightmares.»
*Adrian eats a berry*

«Tastes nice. Probably gonna kill me, but tastes nice.»

*Berry gives off a drug-like effect and relaxes Adrian*

???: «You are treading towards pain and suffering. Direction you are heading will put your life at risk. Head back before it’s too late.»

«Really? Hmm… Don’t know if I should trust em’. They’ll prolly lie to me, he, Samuel guy tries to control me and I won’t cut his lies. I don’t knoww…»

*Adrian closes the inventory*

«Pleasure. *sigh* Very nice feel. Lemme just check if I- If they want me there. Someone is telling me, maybe they are bad guys I-I, I can go back.»

«Allrighty then, have it your way. Ugh. Let me just sit down for a second.»

*Adrian sits near a tree*

«What have I gotten myself into…»

*Large black woodpecker is pecking above Adrian’s head*

Rare Big Black Woodpecker: *pecking*

*Small splinters of wood fall on Adrian’s hair*

Adrian: *sneezing*

*Berry effect wears off*

Adrian: «Brrhh. *looks up* Bird. Hm. Bird.»

*Adrian jumps up and grabs a woodpecker*

Rare Big Black Woodpecker: *screaming terrified*

*Rare Big Black Woodpecker is nervous*

Rare Big Black Woodpecker: *shrilling*

«What I’m gonna do to this bird… It might affect me. But I’ll kill this b*tch anyway. It shouldn’t have been in my way.»

Adrian: «Prepare to experience the worst pain of your life, birdie.»

*Adrian repeatedly spits into bird’s eyes and beak*

Rare Big Black Woodpecker: *suffering bird sounds*

*Woodpecker is unable to open it’s swelling eyes under the pressure of drooling and slowly suffocates in Adrian’s saliva attempting to cough it out*

Rare Big Black Woodpecker: *hissing*

Adrian: «Uh-huh. Hum hm.»

*Minutes later*

Adrian: «So, birdie. *snubbing the bird* Liked that? Hey, ha-ha, bird! Wake up!» *tries to open bird’s eye with two fingers*

Rare Big Black Woodpecker: *starts moving it’s head*

Adrian: *starts panicking and drops the bird*

*Woodpecker spreads it’s wings, but is unable to see where to fly*

*Woodpecker drops on ground painfully damaging it’s feet*

Adrian: «Shouldn’t have twitched. F*cking b*tch.» *spits into the bird last time*

*A large ant colony crawls out of the anthill and approaches a bird unable to get off the ground*

*Ants start aggressively, but slowly feasting on the bird*

Adrian: «Ha-ha! This is so funny. It will take hours for a b*tch to die and it will feel oh-so-painful. If I had a couch and some popcorn I would LOVE to sit here and watch it while describing it’s death for multiple hours. Sadly I can’t, that way I’m gonna become a food for ants myself. Ahem.» *shakes off the dust from clothes and keeps walking*

Adrian: «F*ck. Oh man. Oh, what is wrong with me? Why am I like that? I don’t understand…»

*Adrian heads back and is now following green arrow he ignored earlier*

*An hour later*

«Gotta trust my gut instinct now. Samuel knows about this place a lot more than I do and I cannot make any risks. Especially if I’m unarmed. Actually… I need to find something I can defend myself with before I head into the unknown. I can’t follow some people who just murdered all these metrocops around me, I don’t think I’d stand much chance against someone so accurate all by myself either way. Their aim was inhumane, way above my level, I am no match for them. If I’d start shooting, all the bullets would just fly at random, precision is not really my expertise. At Black Mesa, all the chaos played right into my hands, I was only using all the distress as a way to strike enemies down when they least expected me, there were times I had to take a break and contact my buddies when I had that opportunity. It was too much for me, adrenaline just kept pushing me, my body beyond what it could withstand. When I woke up from that aircraft dropping from the sky it felt like I had a really high temperature, but I felt energetic and almost out of control in a way. It’s like my body activated some mechanism it never used before. Now I don’t feel that, I feel weak, cold. That’s why I need someone who can help. My enemies, whoever they may be, know this place better than I do. I have to act now.

I am going to be heading to where arrow is pointing. Was thinking, maybe I should go a different route, search for someone who can help, but that can only get me lost. If I forget landmarks I’ll just be an idiot in the middle of nowhere. How funny would that be. Heading to that river then, but if it gets me to some creepy place, I’ll just avoid it. Sometimes you can guess if the place is dangerous just by looking at it. Sheesh, having a flashback of my commander’s private barrack all painted in pink colors. He had some twisted tastes. The older I am, the weirder the past gets.»

Adrian: *whistles*

*Adrian gets to the river, looks into the water*

«Hm. Weird. I haven’t seen myself in a long time, but I also haven’t changed at all in that time span. What kind of magic was this guy in a suit using? I feel like whatever is going on, it’s much bigger than what he told me. If government resorts to something that crazy, like blowing up an entire facility, sending some weird dude to blatantly teleport me out of the facility, you know things in the world got really f*cked. They stopped hiding it, all what they were doing, that’s what I think. Strange men are in charge of our nation, strange men.

*seeing something in the water* What is that? Is that a fish?

*spike-skinned fish is swimming slowly* I mean it’s shaped like a fish, but it’s all silver spikes. It’s like a fish made of icicles. Beautiful.»

«I’m not much of a zoologist or whatever it’s called. Meh. I gotta keep going. I also don’t feel the need to eat those berries yet because I know where to go if an arrow is pointing the right way.
Looking at the current world, I don’t regret joining military after all. Nobody had the firepower we did to protect themselves. Though I do suspect that at some point military had to turn into bandits, I just don’t see them surviving all that sh*t. If government as we knew it doesn’t function anymore, then who is in control? Who is pulling the strings? I am in the middle of nowhere with no answers, no questions to ask either. If I want to know the answers, I gotta hurry and find something I could use to defend myself with, so I can feel safe enough. Safe enough to ask questions.»

*One hour later*

Adrian: *stomach growls* «Oh man. I gotta catch a squirrel or something, cause I’m starving.»

*humming sounds*

«Wow, what is that? Sounds like some black dude singing. Black man in a Russian forest? Sounds impossible. Oh wait. We are in the future, I forgot.»

*Adrian peeks behind a tree*

«He is also naked. Completely naked? And he is not black? Good thing he is not black. Naked though. I don’t know, maybe I should-

*Adrian is seeing a third arm moving in his chest*

No way. He is a mutant too. I’ve seen everything…

*Creature opens it’s big red eye and small eyes one by one shortly after*

If I had a gun I’d shoot myself in the head right this moment. I don’t wanna live in the world filled with such creepy creatures. Hold on, I think I’m over exaggerating. Is it the kind of monster I’ve been killing at Black Mesa? Isn’t he supposed to wear collar? What, have they learned to behave in society amongst humans? Chances are he is just castrated or something. Alright, I want to shoot myself in the head after all, my head might have gotten f*cked after sitting in that aircraft all these years. He is probably friendly, I gotta talk to him, I can’t just have a boring dialogue with myself like an idiot, not like there is anything interesting I can say. If I’m gonna be walking around in the forest for hours all by myself it would be a boring experience. I’ll just hate myself.»

Adrian: *comes out and waves his hand* «It’s meee, it’s meee, the guy who killed your buddies at Black Mesa. Don’t kill me, I come in peace, I come in peace. *pinches nose* Do nooot kill meee. I serve no dangeeer, I-» *gets slapped*

Vortigaunt: «You. You are invading my harmony. What is it that you seek here, mush-brain?»

Adrian: «I was just passing by, I- why are you not trying to kill me? All your buddies I met at Black Mesa tried to fry my *ss with their electrical arms. Why so aggressive? Now what, you have become reformed? Domesticated? Ha-ha, that’s what education or a prison system does to you. Not even you can escape humanity’s stupidity. Everyone is their victim. Cats, dogs, monsters from other dimensions. What a mess. Anyway, I’m not racist, don’t think that. I need useful information, have anything useful to say?»

Vortigaunt: «We, vortigaunts, are not your pets. Hold disturbing my oneness and I unleash sustained wrath in my embodiment. Agony you will receive shall you press on the aggression. Our binding towards the old master had shattered. We are unchained and must help humanity from common danger. In the past, before the tunnel to Xen was forged, we were one with your electricity. It was an only connection between us and you. Sacrifices were taken to Nihilanth and we were brief guests in your dimension. Connection was kept refracted, you could see us and we could see you. Your men in control of Earth held communication every so often. And us, possessed… We were used in thieves’ plans.»

Adrian: «What are you talking about?»

Scientist #1: *lights a candle* «Alright, shhh, quiet. Let’s see now, don’t make noise. Over here. Ear to the wall. You hear them walking?»

Scientist #2: «Oh no. Yes, yes, as a matter of fact I do. At that time? Should we perhaps get out, ask them or-»

Scientist #1: «No-no, Breen told me we are asking for trouble if we do that. Peek through that small hole in the door. What do you see?»

Scientist #2: «Alright, this is getting tremendously uncomfortable. Not going to lie, I really am affrighted. Men in those strange robes… Who are they? Why are they walking in dark through our corridors at 3 a.m?»

Scientist #1: «We are not clarified to know. But what do you think? Why do we always have to prepare our research by the "right standards" where we have to align beam matrix the right way keeping variables in check and within limits, sometimes abiding by certain numbers and shapes? Why do they give us those symbols as an example of how it should look on a grid? These men… I’m afraid they are the answer.»

Scientist #2: «I don’t want to work here anymore. Oh no, what are we doing?»

Vortigaunt: «They could only hold a thin, intermittent connection with us. Their rituals haven’t allowed for more.»

Adrian: «And all that Black Mesa equipment have?»

Vortigaunt: «Exactly why Black Mesa was created. They could only reach us and hold a persistent connection through big dollar money equipment. It hurt them to a great extent, but ultimately freed us.»

Adrian: «This is absolutely f*cking insane. Alright, I got a much bigger information than the one I really wanted, but, uh, thanks I guess. What are those green marks from under a rock? Hey, you know Samuel? Asian dude? That guy with the strange eyes? Is he well?»

Vortigaunt: «I am not aware of men by that name. Green marks are for our potential allies. You, Adrian Shephard is one of them. Follow them. You are not alone.»

Adrian: «Fff… Uuh… What a relief. Man, I worried so much, all for nothing again.»

Vortigaunt: «Your worries are a fuel. Keep them. Your friends are far away. There are great dangers ahead. Be wary. Follow green arrows. Collect "dulce dormitaverunt baca", eat one if you are lost and vortigaunts shall guide you. Bye.»

Adrian: «Who the f*ck came up with that name? Do you have any food to ea-»

Vortigaunt: *loud scream call*

Adrian: «Uuh, aah, anyway. Are you kidding? You are cooking a headcrab? Where’s pork, where’s beef?»

Vortigaunt: «I can get you headcrab leg. I love to share. Take it, here.» *pulls headcrab’s crispy leg and gives it to Adrian*

Adrian: «Eeeewww sh*t. No f*cking way. Whyy?»

Vortigaunt: «Adapt. Eat.»

Adrian: «You know what, I’m getting out of here.» *puts headcrab’s leg into the inventory and walks away*

*Adrian opens his inventory*

«I found food, finally. Even if it’s a bit scary to eat it, just that nervous thought that it’s gonna start moving or something, also a bit disgusting eating something that had been crawling in dirty places, possibly already been on someone’s head… I gotta keep moving and stay aware of what surprises this forest can throw at me. So far I haven’t seen anything interesting except for that vortigaunt guy. Even then, I’m not really that impressed after my furious fight at Black Mesa where I think I’ve seen just about every madness there is.»

*Adrian sorts out berries with a hand*

«So apparently these berries can help me contact vortigaunts if I get stuck. Good thing I haven’t eaten them yet, I had no need to. I still have no need to. Well, they do look tasty. I could try one just for the sake of it, or I could conserve them for later. I’d rather keep them.

I’m not good at hunting or finding food, which is why looking at that layer of dust in my bag makes me stressed. If I’m short on supplies, if things get really tough for me here, I’ll have no choice. I’ll have to eat it. Ha-ha, no, it’s probably not going to happen, it’s gonna cause more harm than good, I don’t know, I guess I’m just overthinking it. I’m new to these parts, so I’m anxious a bit. F*ck. Oh sh*t. I’m getting stressed. *stomach growls* I forgot what hunger feels like, I haven’t eaten absolutely anything. What If I’m dying? I haven’t eaten anything in Black Mesa either except for drinking soda drinks that made me piss very often. And those berries I have isn’t food. My stomach is having a hard time. I probably shouldn’t wait till I drop dead and eat everything I have in here, then again, I suspect it might cause health issues and that’s weeks if not months later. Man, I don’t know what to do. I’m scared of suddenly dying, but… It’s probably just paranoia. I don’t feel that I’m dying, just hunger. It’s just stress I guess. If I eat it and have problems in the future, this is what I’m gonna be linking it to. I’d rather eat a headcrab, but honestly, I haven’t seen a single human try eating them yet, which is why I’m a bit cautious.

Don’t know where that dust is from, how it managed to get here. Hm, I probably do. I had to prone in those stupid Black Mesa vents. Remember i could barely breathe, all the layers of dust was more of a threat than these awkward headcrabs. Every time I had to take the vents I kept coughing, having panic attacks that I am about get stuck. Man, these workers in the facility couldn’t even hide themselves in the vents, anywhere. They were completely surrounded, not only that, but eventually destroyed by the government bomb. We had access to weaponry, we could protect ourselves, even if it’s just barely, everyone else, looking at the current world, had do give themselves up for some questionable military regime. That’s my take on it so far. I don’t know, maybe these cops were on drugs or something, perhaps their military force isn’t so bad. Gotta watch out for them, I’m probably wanted already.»

*Adrian closes the inventory*

«I’m dying. I don’t want to eat something so disgusting. Can someone please f*cking help me already. All my life I was struggling with food, I was eating sh*t the whole time and now I’m supposed to eat a freaking facehugger? Give me a break. I don’t know what to do. What do I eat? I have nothing to hunt animals with, I feel so terrible. I am exhausted and thirsty. Good thing that river is long, I’ll try drinking it, I think.»

*Adrian gets to the river*

«What if this water is poisonous? What if this new fish is poisonous? Oh no and what if there’s that f*cking amoeba that eats your brains, the one I saw on the TV? Oh no, oh no, no, no, no. I haven’t even thought how terrifying this world is until I got f*cking hungry. Should have thought about it earlier. What do I do? Do I risk it? Do I drink water? Even if I drink water I won’t survive for long, but that hopefully can help me for a short time somewhat.

Ah, screw it, I’m eating that stupid leg. I should eat it, like right now. I can’t risk dropping somewhere with no energy. I’m used to eating bugs and fake meat burgers when government locked farmlands behind gates, so there really shouldn’t be a difference between that and a headcrab.»

*Adrian bites into headcrab’s leg*

*Headcrab’s leg crunches*

Adrian: *chews* «Isnwt’s so bwad. Beh.»

«Now that I had my meal I gotta keep moving.»

Adrian: «Fff… Water. I forgot. Need water.»

«This is a river right here I can drink the water from. I’m a bit afraid that it’s polluted, I mean it looks clean. Looks can be deceiving. Samuel said «Combine», whoever they are, they don’t go into this forest, so I doubt they brought any harm to it, not sure why would they. It’s just I’m a bit paranoid, I was literally thrown into the world I know nothing about. I’m used to human beings, heat and sweaty barracks. Kind of hard being here alone by myself. It’s just not for me.»

*Adrian looks into the river*

«Yeah, it’s crystal clean from the looks, surprisingly. I can’t just avoid it. And I can’t just drink it… It is a gamble, I guess.»

*Adrian drinks water slowly*

Adrian: «It’s cold.»

«Yeah, tastes like clean water. Don’t know why I got myself so worked up on that fear. Just worries, slowly adapting to the environment and stuff. Now I’m ready to keep moving.

Gotta say, when I was first dropped in here I expected much more action. It isn’t supposed to be all running and gunning, life doesn’t work that way. Honestly all this stress is enough action as it is, I’m not asking for more.

Walking around here I always forget that it isn’t a picnic trip I’m on, it’s survival. I’m not a survival expert, I’m more of a shooting and exploding type of guy. Oh man, this is terrible. If I don’t find my friends fast enough, I’m just gonna end up lost and dead. For some reason I’m also very worried about my underwear, funny enough. That I have no spare underwear here with me right now. What, I gotta make it myself? If I’d have to clean it, I won’t be able to instantly put it on either, just shivering when I think at how it’s all gonna look. Me sitting there in front of a river naked, washing my underwear. So f*cking dumb. Smell would be terrible if I don’t change it for a long time too. Hope it doesn’t come to that. F*ck, what if they don’t have underwear? Am I really gonna have to sew? Sh*t, am I gonna make a fool of myself in front of others. Barry would pop my eyes with needles. If I’m gonna come to Barry, ask while shaking if they have a spare underwear, he’d only laugh at me. That thought just makes me want to jump into the river and drown right here, right now.»

*Adrian walks forward for about an hour*

«The further I go, the colder the wind gets. Lightning becomes darker, foggier. Sun is blocked, so I’m not sure what’s going on. Overcast weather gives off a blue color in the environment. Atmosphere is insane. I am certain that it’s not evening yet, so it shouldn’t be that way. Even with the sky completely blocked by these clouds, it shouldn’t be as dark as it is now. Shouldn’t be cold either, I can see by looking at leaves it’s not autumn. It gets very cold and I don’t have the right clothes to stay here for long.»

*Moving through dense and green forest, Adrian reaches a cut between leafy and leafless trees.*

«What? Literally bare trees right across the line. It’s like someone has cut the whole place in half. How is it possible? It gets paranormal every second. … sh*t. I don’t feel safe.»

*Adrian observes leafless trees and bushes covered in frost*

«None of it makes any sense, it’s not how the weather works. I’m not in any way a scientist, good thing I’m not, but I can’t explain this phenomenon. Climate change? Like they say on the TV? I hope someone can explain this to me.»

*Wind gets aggressively strong and freezes Adrian cold*

Adrian: «Bvvwwuuuuh. Prhvwwww… Shhh, ah, it’s cold.»

«I’m losing it. It’s cold as f*ck and I feel like someone is watching me. Light is also flickering a little bit, it’s like someone is turning sun on and off. This place is terrifying. Did I get off-track? Is this the danger that vortigaunt warned me about?»

*Wind noises*

«I haven’t heard such a spine-chilling wind roar before. It’s like he’s screaming at me. Wind is talking to me, it’s speaking to me.» *starts crying*

*Tears drop from Adrian’s eyes*

«I’m not sad. It’s just intense. Alone with that roaring wind. I’m losing my sanity. If I still had my parents… Why did it have to be this way? Life is not here to make me happy.»

*Few minutes later*

Adrian: «*shaking and mumbles* I’d tell them… Barry, sir, guys, I’m here. Yeah, I’m here guys, I’m alive. *stretches out hand for two seconds* Hi, yeah. Thought I’d never see you guys. I mean I need underwear. *points the hand down* Where can I get it? Bed, food? Uh-huh. Yeah. Thanks for meeting me Barry, he’ll be standing in front of me when I get there. He’ll have his eyes wide open. It’s like that and he’ll hug me. They will applaud. Confetti, noisemakers. We will sleep. Together. Sleep. We will sleep together. I want to sleep. I uh...»

*It started snowing*

*Adrian climbs over a black metal fence and is seeing an old fountain*

«I’m tired. Oh. A fountain? Here? And then there’s a road there not far away. I’m seeing it. Am I in the city? Did I get to civilization? Snow… I’ve never seen a real snow. What a way to experience it the first time.»

*Adrian walks through the roads, avoiding sidewalks buried in snow*

«Man, I can’t walk on these sidewalks. Town looks deserted, suppose that’s a good thing, I won’t have to worry about a sudden drunk driver hitting me full-speed when I ain’t looking.

These small houses, all burned down. Doesn’t look to be caused by an explosion or anything like that, no, I suspect they were set on fire from someone on the outside.»

*Adrian, almost frozen to death, hides his hands under armpits and runs to the nearest building, just across the road*

«This building right here is uninviting. I have no choice but to run in.»

*Adrian approaches building’s entrance*

«Insane. Someone had started a large bonfire right near the entrance. It’s put out now, but I can see remains of a huge ton of books piled next to it. Could it be they were burning books?»

*Adrian comes up to an extinguished bonfire and picks up a book cover separated from the book’s burned pages*

««From Here to There in Under a Second.» So what is the deal with that book? Did it cause some sort of controversy or something like that? I, personally, never read it, my former friends weren’t big on reading either, but I heard there was a scandal. Just haven’t expected it to get that far. *drops the book’s cover*

«Just something I noticed. Street lamps are working, but no people anywhere. Cars are abandoned in the middle of the road. How? There’s also a big dumpster here.»

Adrian: *gets into the building and shuts the door* «Done. Uuuuh, ooooh. Aaaah. Anyone?»

«No one is answering. It’s so dark in here. Only one, small dim lamp on the wall near ceiling is working. Everything else is so dark. Looks to be an abandoned building. Weird.»

*Adrian walks up the stairs he can barely see, opens some door and walks into a near-dark room*

Adrian: «I’ve never been so scared in my life. I hope there are no ghosts here. *talking to the dark* No ghosts? Hello? I’m not scared of ghosts, you know. Listen, if there is anyone in here, I’ll freaking get my d*ck from my pants and start wiggling it! I am in charge here. I am the monster, I am the ghost. Ghosts don’t scare meee. Pffuh. Do you know who I am? Yeah, I’ll punch you.»

«Gotta sit down. This is crazy. I’m so tired. A bit afraid of getting pounced on by some creature in the dark, worst case would be a headcrab. I am in a vulnerable position here, exposed. Let’s hope for the best, for now, I’m shutting down.»

*Adrian goes to sleep*

*Night. Few hours later*

*Adrian opens his eyes in a sudden strike of fear and panic*

*About 2 seconds later table flips over and flies to Adrian, hitting his head*

Adrian: «Brhnoo *prepares his fists* Don’t!»

*Loud door slamming sounds*

«It’s so dark here and I am so scared. I don’t see anyone, but it’s like someone is running around in the dark. Are those the real silhouettes?»

*Stress induced pictures of monsters staring at Adrian from the corners are transmitted into his eyes along with vintage painted pictures of men he had never seen before*

«I’m numb with fear.»

Adrian: «I have that paranoia, man. I’m not here to cause harm, it’s cold outside. Uh, it’s just paranoia. Yeah, yeah. *intentionally mumbles random words to come off as a friendly deluded bum to evade potential threat* Prvh, it just table. Th-Th-They throw into me. I’m here to ask food, I came here to ask and I mean I have no anything, old clothes. It’s okay, I know ghosts, I’m familiar with ghosts.»

*Adrian goes to check to see what is slamming the door*

*Adrian is seeing a door and windows next to it in the corridor lit by the orange street lamps from outside the building*

«Wow. Turns out it’s just wind. Hysteria for nothing again? F*ck me. But why is the wind so loud? This is crazy loud. I’m shaking, jumping at every slam of those doors and windows. Good thing lamps are still active. What the f*ck? It’s snowing crazy out there. No lights anywhere except for these street lamps. It’s like I’m in a dream or some horror movie. I’m twitching at the thought that someone can run up to me from behind when that wind is roaring, that I’m not gonna have time to react and I don’t know, get r*ped perhaps. Could be just my sick mind.»

*Adrian is seeing wide doors and light from under the doorways*

«There we go, what if someone is still alive in here? I have to check.»

*Adrian walks into a room*

Adrian: «Lights are still on. Is anyone home?»

«This room is big. A huge chandelier with lights still working. How come no one is living here? Who manages this place?»

Adrian: «Hold on, whaat? I am in a library? Whaat? *looks to the left* Wow, this is funny. Skeleton sitting by the librarian’s desk. This is what a boring job does to you.»

*Door slammed shut from behind, librarian’s skeleton head cracks and rolls to Adrian’s feet*

Adrian: «Wow, okay, this is creepy. Books, books that I don’t like everywhere. Oh and what is that on his desk? A newspaper?»

«All of humanity had accepted Dr. Wallace Breen’s appointment as the first administrator of Earth. As outrageous as this information sounds to anyone still having their rational mind intact after all the disasters that have plagued our world for the last few months, especially after the biggest global crisis, world hunger and now the 7-hour war, this is the only sign of light we can all look up for. Earth had surrendered to the «Combine», an invading force competing against all the militaries and superpowers worldwide bringing no doubt after each attack that the firepower of the current Earth military is simply not good enough to be put against that of «Universal Union», an advanced multicombination of species, an empire, that by new information controls over half of the universe. Surprisingly, only now they have taken control of Earth. U.S Military, especially after it’s shortages at South America, trying their best to prevent Green Flu epidemic from consuming the rest of the world was almost completely wiped out. It’s remaining members are joining «Combine» ranks or are working as mercenaries hoping for their generosity and privileges. «Combine» are said to have taken control over the disease and have now, reportedly, stopped the epidemic from going forward. Surviving the Pennsylvania massacre military man under what looks to be a PTSD, Richard Braxton had agreed to shed more light on the situation:

Richard Braxton: «Things went BOOM my friends. They got real real fuzzy in there. When I had these girls in my military SUV we were driving 90 kilometers an hour just smashin’ them roadblocks and all the zombies in our way while spilling expensive whiskey all around our tits and they just won’t calm down I say it, «maaay be we stop by the siiide aren’t ya caarsiick?» and they like «Our knight in muddy camo armor, show us the way around these jungles, we don’t know where to go, we don’t know what to dooo…» *wiping his tears* And I like «girls I can’t drive you round foreveeer. Blah. I call control command. *turns on walkie-talkie* Sir, siir. It gets real hard for me to hold down my wiener, keep my hand on a wheel and entertain those two wives of yours, maybe you gonna let us evac? Fiine he says, just slap Annie by the buns a few times and she will keep calm. Get them here safe, I’m done with that fat cow secretary myself. Round about, guys, round about. And then we just pull out, wasn’t that intense?»

This is the only survivor from Riverside clean-up operation that we have found and this is the only information we have gotten. Things have gotten so bad now all the experts we would normally ask for information are dead, exactly the reason why we have to interview homeless bums off the streets instead. To receive more opinions on the current distress in our world, we received information from a group of homeless men hanging out near an almost abandoned, but still functioning Starbucks Coffee:

Jack Coxley: «*rubbing his hands near a burn barrel* Ye, aye, right mane. Things ain’t real different for us, as you know. What you say Peanut Titmouse?»

Peanut Titmouse: «Meeh, if you get me them money, maybe theeen. Ain’t gettin’ paid for your show brotha. Money rules all my friend. You just gonna cause trouble, we answer, bud. You ain’t no good to us, just get outta here!»

Jack Coxley: «Nothing has changed man. We are standing in front of a deserted cafe just like we did for decades. No one with the right taste goes to Starbucks anyway. Who are they ripping off, tourists? Ha-ha.»

Peanut Titmouse: «Yee, ha-ha, suppose so. Man, let’s get outta here, this microphone guy just won’t leave us alone.»

Hope you enjoyed this edition. We have to earn money to keep our industry in check and you supported it. Thank you. We know it got a bit short, but our budget doesn’t allow for more, nor does our motivation.»

Adrian: «This is funny. I haven’t seen a newspaper as crazy before. Most of the space on it is just blank. Guess they got really burned out or something. Well, you get what you get for free.»

«There is more stuff in here. Hm. This library has a lot of foreign books in it, not everything is in Russian. A library of foreign literature perhaps? Not sure. And then there is a TV and a few tapes right on it. Let’s see if it still works.»

*Adrian turns on a TV and sees a static image*

«Yeah, no cable television. Gotta pick up one of those tapes and insert them into the box.»

*Adrian puts a tape into a VCR*

TV News Show Host #1: «When the Internet is off, most of the TV channels aren’t working and the only source of news we have is a piece of paper forcing men all around the world go back in time and revert to newspapers – we know the world is in big trouble.

We have no time for jokes this time. This is the first time the news industry, as well as our agency cannot wrap their head around the meaning of current events. It boggles the mind of many and is making those in charge incredibly mad, screaming at each other and slamming doors. From the Flu that turned people into mindless psychopaths, to synchronized destruction of powerplants worldwide, making animals, insects and even humans mutate beyond recognition, to countless disasters naming which in a narrow time frame that we have would be difficult, everyone is confident on one and one thing only. It’s time to break into liquor stores and stock up on alcohol, as food and water shortages make everyone lose hope in our future, future that is about as bright as our president’s twitchy eyes under the light of yet another teleprompter. Is the worst yet to come?»

(Female) TV News Show Host #2: «Hey! No, we don’t talk about alcohol on this show. Plus I’m not sure your metaphor works.»

TV News Show Host #1: «I was only joking, you know, to boost the mood of our viewers here.»

(Female) TV News Show Host #2: «You said we have no time for jokes. Ah, forget it, might as well drink your troubles away and hibernate, because our "president" if you can call him that simply shrugs in front of the camera, as not even his teleprompter can answer what dangers lie ahead of our nation, considering last week, at all that time of trouble, we literally seen someone important admitting they lied to public all these years… Not like anyone had any doubt at this point either way, the "revelation" came way behind schedule, yet this administration still acts as if it’s a good thing and quote on quote "helps" those in need of "happy and kind" news. Honestly, if they would have started dancing and singing instead, it certainly would at least make children cry of laughter and point fingers, but us, cry about how our lives have degraded over the years of madmen running our country.»

TV News Show Host #1: «Yes, this is truly heartbreaking that government factually left us behind in favor of their own safety and yet another nauseating speech in front of the camera that everything will be "great", that "oh, we are going to fix this, we’ll sort it out, it will be gone, I’m telling you, GOOONE!" ha-ha, aaaah… We are sick of covering this, well, personally I am, you?»

(Female) TV News Show Host #2: «Well, our salary had significantly lowered, my loved ones and all my relatives are pretty much dead, which is why I cannot be bothered to put on a smile or a happy face for our viewers, so I’m thinking of packing bags, joining a group of robbers and raid poor bums on the sidewalks for a piece of bread. I’m kidding, it hasn’t gotten that bad yet and I haven’t really liked my grumbling close ones, but it feels like we are almost there. It’s irreversible. No one will climb out of this.»

TV News Show Host #1: «Apologies, viewers, this turned way too personal way too quickly. So, to the news, uuuh… I’m afraid we are gonna run out of news to cover because nothing of what is happening right now is new to anyone. So, over five billion people have died, Manhattan is completely submerged in water due to "Global Warming", even more people are dying of hunger in line for the remaining cans of bugs, cults have emerged created by former FBI agents, kidnapping and eating children, justifying it as a natural process, what’s next after all of that, alien invasion? Tell me, how screwed up your mind has to get to eat children? Would you eat children?»

(Female) TV News Show Host #2: *smiling and slowly turning her face to the camera* «I… If I have nowhere to live, I have nothing to drink, what do you think?»

TV News Show Host #1: «I don’t know, I mean you tell me. *whispering* Are you serious right now, I thought we were…»

(Female) TV News Show Host #2: «Yes, I WOULD! Are you hearing me? I WOULD! *starts crying, wiping tears with sleeves and pulls out a corpse from the bag* This, right here, ladies and gentlemen is a child! Oh yes, he is not looking too well, does he? That’s because he had been recently cooked on open fire! Come to mommy, crispy-crispy. Come into my mouthie. Mmmm…» *eating*

TV News Show Host #1: «I… I… I… I… ugh…. I think we are about to wrap this one up.» *starts vomiting a second before the show is over*

*Inside a dark and run-down studio*

TV News Show Host #1: «Welcome dear viewer. Welcome. *stomach growls are heard* Wow. So, our previous show was a bit… Too climactic, that’s the best way to describe it. Excuse us for a bit of a strange intro… Ffff. We had to… Change our second host, she is a bit unwell and all. This is our replacement, this man right here.»

*A black man in shabby and ragged clothes stares into the camera with near sunken eyes*

TV News Show Host #2: «Yeah… Hi. *smells his contents from a bowl* That’s right. I am a host. I am THE host, ni***»

TV News Show Host #1: «Right. What’s missing is a laugh track right after that line and…»

TV News Show Host #2: «Haa, man. You sayin’ I’m funny? Is that what you sayin’? Seeing you after all these years when you in these dumb, unenlightened heads of yours thought you were oh-so funny, it gets embarrassing, sad even. Where are you now? What, people are dying out there, is that funny? You sitting here well and fed and… *Dialogue Interruption – TV News Show Host #1*

«Hello? I was eating BUGS just now, are you calling this well-fed? Not even Burger King with their crappy plants. And what is that… Ew, ugh… Green stuff in your bowl then? What is that then?»

Pfshhh, aaaah, ha-haaah. You know. It is said you’ll get what comin’ to you. But you wait, you wait. Those people already got theirs. You will. You will beg on your knees, you will beg em’. And you’ll be shown, you will experience it on your skin, just how pathetic you guys were, all of you in this studio. What happened now? Got any more pre-written jokes lined up? It is you who is a joke. A laughable, fat joke. Ye, I can say that, I can. Speaking, speaking like all dose politicians.*sniffs* Stuff is good man. *winnows green content’s smell* I always do that. Wind carries it around. You will all get it. Listen to the voices, man. Listen to em’. Tshpshvshh *points the finger to his right temple and smiles* Sheeah, what a good stuff, dude. Feel it yet?»

TV News Show Host #1: «Brooo, dude. Urgh. Screw that, man. Screw this show. We shall all go to the garden, let’s go to the garden, everyone. Viewers, put the TV remote down, let’s head out into the garden, into the fields, into the grass. Take what’s ours. Take everything you can to live. Hide guys. It’s about to get bad.»

TV News Show Host #2: «Pfff, a-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah. You know, see that cameraman right there? Ayo, ova’ here man! Or I get ye, I cut ye, I kill ye.»

Cameraman: «Alright, alright, alright, alright! I’m coming! I changed the camera focus a bit so that we will all be visible in the frame, so that…»

TV News Show Host #2: «I said come to me. Step to me. Right now.»

Cameraman: «Oh-okay. You have something for me, a gift perhaps?»

TV News Show Host #2: «Brvhahaha. You got that one almost right. More like, I have a gift for our remaining viewers behind the TV. Watch closely. *quickly puts cameraman’s pants and underwear down* *second cameraman focuses camera on private parts* Do you see it? Do you see the truth now? This is where our country is at now. It’s inside that naked hole. How about we kick our country outta there? Sounds good?»

TV News Show Host #1: «You scumbag, I KNEW you were hiding America in there, I knew! Guys?»

Second Cameraman: «I love my job.»

*Studio workers gather up around cameraman*

TV News Show Host #2: «We shall bring back our freedom. *kicks cameraman’s private parts* We shall show everyone how fed up we are with all their lies. *kicks cameraman’s private parts* We shall take matters into our own hands and fix our country, our nation from these corrupt and whiny politicians!» *keeps kicking cameraman’s private parts*

Cameraman: «Gvaargh, gvaaagh!»

TV News Show Host #2: *walks up to the camera* «And you, dear viewer. You will be on our side, whether you want it or not.»

*Show is over*

«You know what… Somehow I think it’s a good thing I’ve avoided most of that in the army and an even better thing I’ve been sheltered for many more years. All these events, it can drive anyone mad. Really, I had no idea what it was like in the cities when all this sh*t was happening. I bet everyone who survived the so-called 7 hour war have now dropped to the level of a mental patient. Or maybe it went the other way and now everyone is way more normal than they used to be. Hm. You never know what to expect. World is a random and strange place and I am in a place about as random as my memories popping up from nowhere. Really feels like someone slapped them together, feels like they are almost not real. Almost as if someone had implanted them into me. Could be I just got insane after watching all this crap, that’s not to say I’m batsh*t paranoid from that weird abandoned town I’m in. Seriously, what the f*ck? I don’t even know where I’m at. The only pleasant thing about all of that is I’m not on the west any longer. Away from that insanity and radiation. Having an urge to vomit just by thinking about it. I remember those irradiated fat women with two heads on the sidewalks. Ew.»

*Adrian walks up to an almost unrolled roll of toilet paper*

«Hm. Is that a toilet paper? There’s a wrapping here, all on Russian with blue letters on it. Can’t make up anything on English from these letters. Only letters that look similar are Ha, bl or something like that. It’s almost completely unrolled. Wait. Someone had been writing on it. Woah, a really f*cked up handwriting, must be someone completely insane. It’s on English too. *picks toilet paper up and attempts to read the message* Feels like I’m reading an ancient scroll. Ridiculous.»

Toilet Paper Message: «Hello, this is a gnome! Decades through we tremble not, containing our sacred power under the two layers of deep snow. We have translated our greatest powers, treasure we have collected from the uncertain time of hazards ruling above, to the rich wonderland of candy parties and sweet buns, occasionally coated in melting chocolate, at this time enjoying cookies with milk and gently licking lollipops. Pains and suffering of those unprotected touch our minds and fill us with smiley pleasure. I’ll be back to licking lollipops shortly, mistress! Shall the fate of your decisions bring you indecision, memorize what follows. Travel far-far west through icy fields and valleys, be on the lookout of still lively town bathed in light, surrounded by green cliffs at the face of overseeing four-compass peak that splits two borders of once existing countries. Place under our control without them knowing. Gain height like eagles that we hate do, them trying to steal our hats and if by luck you pass on evening, put an eye on seven highlighted marks of those who stumbled and fell over two centuries ago. Our ancestors kicked their goolies and pushed them out every time they tried to climb. Do not try and climb it! If you see the indication correlating to what we have shared with you, head to the east face of the mountain, sit down, block your two eyes with two of your hands and whisper: "Gnomes, gnomes gnomes. Take me to the land of wonders, away from brewing troubles." Repeat it, repeat it, repeat it and await a feel of gentle pinch. Open your eyes and see our guide who shall hear your call. "Ta-da!" he’ll notify you and dance for exactly seven minutes before taking you in for our job interview. Join us, little man!»

«Despite how absolutely stupid this sounds, I’m gonna have to note it. *Adrian notes new information* As less abstract as this riddle could ever be, not sure I’m interested in joining someone so twisted. Not that I’m ever gonna find where they are regardless, chances for that are extremely low I bet. I’m not on the "far-far west", instead I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere feeding wild mosquitoes. I’m not gonna be able to get wherever it is on foot, even then, it’s too abstract and a bit crazy for me to take any of it seriously.

Thing is, I might have gotten lucky finding something half-interesting in this dense forest. Really if you think of it, it’s a pretty boring place in it’s own way. I suspect it was very abandoned even before the uncertain apocalypse and now it’s just plain dead. Well, it wasn’t my choice to be here, I was kinda dropped into this boring place silently. Would be a shame if I get stuck in this part of the world for months, certainly not something I look forward to, despite how unique it is, we aren’t exactly in 1890’s. Was kinda hoping to end up in a large, loud megalopolis, if there are any left where we at, but if I had that chance earlier and if I took it, I wouldn’t survive in the U.S anthills for too long. I doubt they have any water or food left, I’m confident large cities haven’t outlived the 7-hour war, ended up as irradiated wastelands at best. If luck wouldn’t be on my side, perhaps if I wouldn’t have taken that cryptic job, that guy in a suit would drop me into a similar nightmare that I described. Or he would just kill me there and then. Guess I have no other choice, wouldn’t want it to turn into a "hard mode", it’s kinda easy here in the forest with food running around and flowing water present. If this is just a warm-up, a calm before the storm then I’m better not be facing it alone, though I doubt there’s anything I can’t handle. Just have to repeat this to myself so that I won’t forget it. Uh…

Speaking of boring, out of all places, this is where I ended up… Library – a relic of ancient civilization. Heard it being one of those boring places where they bring children to make them dumb, just like in school. Who cares about a library except for these old snorts stuck in the past? I won’t have the patience to read anything in here, not that I’d understand a word. I’ve never read a single book in my entire life.»

Adrian: «Alright, don’t see anything, it gotta be it. Hm. *accidentally pushes a bookcase* *another newspaper drops on Adrian’s head* F- Or so I f*cking thought.»

«Just curious what else is there… Can’t be a library with nothing to read? Hmm…»

Adrian: «*checking out a book’s cover* Cooking? I’ll chop my fingers off, no thanks. *next book* Adventure… I’ve had adventure up my f*cking throat already. *next book* History… Yeah, all this dust on it says a lot about it’s significance. None. *next book* Uh… Nothing useful I can find. Guess gotta keep moving forward.»

*Adrian stops and looks up*

«Hold on. Just something I noticed – there is a coat of arms hanging above the bookcases next to a chandelier. It’s poorly attached. A yellow deer painted on it? It looks like? Don’t know. Is that coat of arms dedicated to the city I’m in, whatever it might be? Assuming they haven’t painted it for that awful library, that wouldn’t make much sense. Would be way too much credit for a place so outdated. Library… You’re kidding. Still, it’s charming, but kinda outlived itself. Has that old man vibe to it that I don’t quite dig. Especially the smell. Could be that skeleton guy. Eh, thanks for a ticket, life. Back to the real world.»

*Adrian attempts to look out the window*

«Windows frosted. Way too cold outside, can’t see much except light from the streetlamps. How are they still active? Someone is keeping the electricity, but that would require a tremendous effort, especially for a place stuck in some sort of ice anomaly. This is surreal almost. There’ve gotta be signals of life there somewhere.»

Adrian: *anxious sigh* I’m worried. *sits on a chair* Worried that I’m gonna die, that I’m not gonna make it out of here… I’m probably on the wrong track. F*ck…» *stressed breathing*

*Adrian breaks into sweat and starts uncontrollably shaking*

Adrian: «Uh-uhm» *expectorates and coughs out small bits of headcrab leg eaten earlier*

*Adrian has a panic attack and keeps shaking to the point of being unable to sit*

Adrian: «Uevuhm. Vvv. Maaahnn… Maaan… I’m on a freakin’ ride… Feels like I’m on that train agaain… F****ck... Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha... Uuuuh. Please. Someone. Will someone show up. *looks to the direction of another window* Yeah, frost patterns on that window are cool. It’s liike, brrvh… Someone had drawn them… Not ghosts I hope.»

Adrian: «I feel… T-terrible. That window, it gotta be overlooking that huge dumpster I’ve seen outside.»

«I have that sudden shaking. Due to stress I think. Must be because of these stupid recordings i’ve seen. A real f*cking nightmare fuel. Insanity… Complete insanity, man. I’m stressed. I can’t believe this is real. I want to vomit, I just want to vomit after this f*cked up TV show.»

Adrian: «Ugh. Got nowhere to lie down. Will drop on floor for a short while, gotta catch my breath… Just need a clean spot.»

*Adrian lies down on his back with hands behind the head to avoid collecting dirt in hair*

Adrian: «*inhales, exhales* Now we’re talking. Smell of an unwashed floor, just as I like. Got some charming memories. I remember this one time during mess duty when some of our guys rubbed themselves with soap, sliding back and forth on their stomach. "Hey, Adrian, come with us! This is fun!" one of the guys said with a dorky smile. Was fun until our captain arranged bowling pins and kept tossing their bald heads as part of his weekly "amusement" time entertainment. "Ball delivered!" he kept shouting every strike while chewing that apple, the smug. Sound of him chomping and screaming that line was really pissing us guys off. Just standing there watching that madness happening and not being able to do anything about it abuse is really discouraging. I kinda lost hope back then, in all of the army folk. They kept convincing themselves about how the guy deserved it because of this and that until the captain switched to them in other forms of abuse. To be honest, I myself didn’t really care, after that, you realize how f*cked up some things are. Regardless, it was somewhat fun throwing these eggs into the poor guys every time he missed. As annoying as the captain was, there wasn’t a single boring day while he was around. Looking back, I miss the old days, even if thinking about them in fear.»

«Alright. Calmed my nerves, now I- *smells something burning* the smell, it gets worse. What is it?»

Adrian: «I know how dead bodies smell, especially up close. It’s not it. Something is burning.»

*Hears a strange sound resembling that of a flamethrower*

Adrian: «Sh*t, is that a flamethrower? I gotta hide somewhere, I gotta hide!»

*Floor starts shaking and bookcases fall*

*Adrian dodges slowly falling bookcases and attempts to leave the room*

Adrian: «I’m not dying in some stupid library. I’m getting out of here!» *opens a door to the corridor*

*The entire corridor is burning leaving no conventional way of leaving a building*

Adrian: «Of course.»

*Adrian evaluates the situation*

«Windows, windows… Ah, the dumpster! An only thing that comes to mind.»

*Small window cracks under a thermal stress are becoming larger*

«These old windows are completely falling apart.»

*Fire effects are circulating outside the window into all directions*

Adrian: «Hold on. It looks familiar. Sh*t, is that what I think it is?»

*Windows break as fire induced wind is flowing into the room, detaching a coat of arms. Coat of arms is set on fire by a chandelier*

*Chandelier falls and gradually sets the entire room and all the books on fire*

Adrian: *coughs* «Beautiful, isn’t it? This is what it’s all about.»

*Adrian charges and jumps out the window full speed*

*Adrian missed a dumpster*

Adrian: «Noo, aaah! *falls into snow* Urgh. Is that really possible? Ugh, I didn’t know.*

*Adrian looks up*

Gargantua: *roaring*

Adrian: «Here for a revenge, are you? Well, you ain’t getting it.»

«I might have frozen my brains trying to find a rational explanation to that blue monster coming to fry my *ss. He was here to kill me, as dumb and unreasonable as it is.»

*Gargantua was about to strike, but is interrupted by town lights turning off*

Adrian: «He doesn’t see me. Gotta run away while he’s distracted. *running to the nearest building opposite to the library* Ughurgh, fffss *breathing heavily in panic* cold!»

*Adrian gets into the building*

Adrian: «I have nowhere else to go. Oh, no, school this time? What a lame.»

*Adrian looks outside the window*

Gargantua: *roaring*

Adrian: «Where is he going?»

*Gargantua gets to a nearest utility-pole and hugs it*

Adrian: «What the…»

*Gargantua gives off an electric reaction to the overhead cables of a pole-mounted transformer as streetlamps turn on one by one*

Adrian: «So this is who kept the electricity all along. That explains it.»

«Trying to hide in the basement this time. I can’t risk going to a top floor. I’m probably gonna get obstructed, but I’m dead anyway. There is no way I’m hiding from it.»

*Adrian gets into the school’s basement and catches a breath*

Adrian: *inhale, exhale* «It’s good. I’m definitely gonna catch a cold running around up there.»

*Gargantua is trying to break into a school, punching the building*

«There is no way he’s getting in here.»

Adrian: «I’m so scared. Uuuh, I’m so freaking scared.»

*Adrian is starting to smell something*

Adrian: «What is it with all this odor everywhere I go? It can’t be me. *sigh* Gotta check my underwear in case I sh*t it or something.»

*Adrian pulls out a lighter from a bag and flicks it*

Adrian: *attempts to drop the pants* «Come ooon. Come on. *flies interrupt Adrian* Man, the flies, so freaking loud.»

*Adrian catches a glimpse of a blood trail and follows it*

Adrian: «Oh sh*t. What the f*ck?! They are… Dead.»

*Adrian is seeing fresh corpses of children slowly moving due to decomposition*

Adrian: «F*ck me.»

*Adrian is coming out of a closet and runs out through a back door avoiding smoke and fire*

Adrian: *coughs* «Library and school both on fire. This gotta be the best day of my life.»

*Adrian opens a manhole and climbs into a sewer*

Adrian: «Electricity still working somehow, all thanks to this idiot. He has no idea at all.»

*Adrian walks deeper into a sewer tunnel*

«Wow. It’s so bone-chilling in here. Water is flowing and dripping in a rhythmic manner. It’s almost musical. It’s like someone is intentionally playing with water to make music. Or am I just insane?»

Adrian: «Dirt and barrels are everywhere. I wonder for what…»

*Adrian hears a cat-like yowl*

Adrian: «Meow, meow. Hm. Is there a cat in here somewhere? Here, kitty-cat. Here. Come. *approaches darkness from where he heard a sound* Cat? *starts worrying when seeing hair and small red spots on it’s skin*

Poison Headcrab: *screaming* *jumps at Adrian’s face*

Adrian: *screaming in fear* «Whoahow, eergh!»

*Barnacle drops tongue and catches a Poison Headcrab, saving Adrian*

Adrian: «Sh*t, f*ck! Man, was I naïve. These are barnacles if I remember correctly. I think I even had a chance of using it as a grapple. Crazy stuff.» *kicks a bunch of barrels into a set of barnacle’s tongues*

«Lights are flickering here in a creepy fashion. Almost as if trying to send me a message or a code. Probably just overthinking it. I got better things to do than standing here and losing my sh*t in fear trying to figure it out. I’m scared enough as it is.

This sewer is full of weird sounds. Sounds like the worst abominations of the Black Mesa Incident gathered underground. A lot of dark, narrow corridors here. I’m lost and quite tuckered out. Have these pictures of monsters in my ruffled eyes, paranoia that one of these monsters is gonna suddenly run out of corner. It’s so hard for me to walk here, trying to avoid sh*t dripping barnacles from all directions. I can’t express how terrified I am. Trying not to talk much, keeping all the brainstorming discussions in my thoughts for now. Man, am I f*cked. Cold, lost and in the sewer literally in the middle of complete nowhere.»

*Adrian walks for a five minutes*

Adrian: *sits down and starts crying* *whispering* I have a migraine. Please help me, someone… Help me. Will someone help me. *starts touching walls while losing hope in surviving and keeps pressing fingers into his own forehead hard while experiencing a heavy breakdown* *moaning for a few minutes* I can’t do this anymore, I can’t. I just can’t. Can someone please end my miserable sorrowful life… I don’t know where to go. Why do I have to struggle so much? I’m not a robot, I’m only human. There is no way I’m making out of this. That’s it, dude, now I’m truly f*cked.»

*Adrian hears a static TV noise and heads towards it’s direction*

Adrian: *crawls under a barricade with wastewater to the neck* *climbs out into a narrow abandoned safehouse* «There is a mattress here, a TV… No one home. TV is driving me crazy, where’s the remote? *tries to search for a TV remote* I can’t find it. I don’t wanna be here, won’t be able to sleep here either with this TV unless I break it. But I can’t, what if it’s someone’s home, I can’t damage their property. What if some maniac bum will kill me or eat me or whatever? What if waking up the first thing I’ll see is the face of some mental rapist drooling into my eyes? Sh*t, just as I did to that stupid bird! What if life is trying to catch up to me? I can’t be here, I need to get out of here! Ugh, stinks!»

*For a split second Adrian is seeing numbers on the TV*

Adrian: «These numbers, I’ve seen them before. Was I meant to be here? *checks the drawers* Of course, another bunch of tapes and yet another VCR. Feels like I’m in medieval times or something. Who uses this sh*t nowadays?»

*Adrian puts tape into a VCR*

*Show starts*

«What is this… Some sort of cartoon?»

Adrian: «I think I know what this is. F*ck my life. Teletubbies. Just when I thought things can’t get any creepier and yet here we are, life brings new surprises. How do I turn this off? *tries to take out the tape* I can’t get it out, can’t turn off TV either. I’m screwed. Come on. *pushes random buttons* How do I end this? I don’t wanna watch this sh*t. *accepts his fate and sits on a mattress* Fine. *sigh* Fine, alright. Perhaps it’ll calm my nerves.»

*Adrian watched an entire episode of teletubbies*

Adrian: «You know what, it wasn’t so bad. Why does everyone I know hate it?»

*Sewer hatch opens*

Adrian: «I heard it. Did someone just open a sewer hatch? Really? You just had to make me watch all that crap…»

*Adrian climbs out of the sewer*

Adrian: «Finally. Ah! Still cold. But it looks like I’m almost out of town. Just gotta keep running on that road.»

*To the left, behind multiple houses, in the far distance, Adrian is seeing a big lake and a blue glow emitting out of an object stuck in ice*

Adrian: «Is that a bomb? A missile? I can’t quite see from here, but I’m not dumb enough to actually go there and look. I got my life to worry about.»

*Running for about half an hour, Adrian is completely exhausted*

Adrian: «I think… *heavy breathing* I think I’m almost out of cold. Oh, it gets so warm, I can’t believe it. I’m finally out of this mess.»

*Adrian drops on grass*

Adrian: «Yeah. I don’t care where I am, I don’t care if I’m gonna die in the next few minutes. At least I’m out of this furious cold. I’m so tired.»

*Adrian shuts off and starts sleeping*

*Two hours later Adrian slightly opened his eyes and started moaning due to hunger induced nausea and is still too tired to get up*

*Adrian is seeing legs as someone is coming up to him and starts dragging him away*

«I just don’t care. I don’t care who it is. Let them do whatever they want, whoever is dragging me. Just let me sleep.»

*Adrian keeps sleeping*

*Few hours later*

Adrian: *snores*

Hunter: *lights up a candle amidst darkness in front of Adrian’s face and speaks very slowly* «Waaake uuuuup… Pfff. Waaaake uuuuup…» *moves candle and eyes left and right with the same speed*

Adrian: *slowly wakes up* *sniffs* «Smells like… Smells like cheap alcohol. Another *cough* another drunken idiot?»

Hunter: «Yeeees, he-he, alcohol… Waait. Nooo… You see… I saved your life. Yes. In this forest – there are a loot of craaaazy peeeople… Baaad peeeople… Craaazy!»

Adrian: «Would you just shut up. No f*cking way… Another crazy idiot. When am I gonna encounter a normal person? At least once? You smell like you haven’t bathed in months.»

Hunter: *tsk tsk* *Puts a candle on the table* «There… There-eeeh- *moves hands randomly*»

Adrian: «The f*ck are you doing with these hands? Who are you trying to mimic? Jack Sparrow?»

Hunter: *belching* «’Cuse me… Sh*t. Might have dranken loads of bull***t again. Wow. Movies? Khm. I haven’t watched movies in a looong time. Not since… Not since… My wife had passed awayyy. *squints while trying to abstain from crying* Ahee… Bvvv…»

*Adrian is seeing a sunlight coming through the window*

Adrian: «Wait… Morning? Who drinks at morning? *coughs* Argh, the pain. Sore throat. You got tea, anything? It’s painful.»

Hunter: «Pfft. *throws hands around* Of course, of course. What do you think-ah, I was prepared, boy… I was prepared to have a little tea with you. Together we’ll drink tea. Yes, my dear boy.» *puts out a candle, opens the blinds and gives Adrian a cup*

Adrian: «Smells like piss.»

Hunter: «Yeah, well… Take my sausage if you’re hungry too. Here. *gives Adrian a sausage*So, son. Sheepherd. Is that your name? Brh. A funny name. It’s lonely in here, no one comes around to visit an old man like me. But thank you, thank you for visiting me. Thank you for giving me these presents.»

Adrian: «Hey, this is my bag!»

Hunter: «This will be your bag, yes. Just gotta settle a few things. You see, I… I need a partner, you know. A sex partner. Conveniently you are here and I thought…»

Adrian: «Dude, what the f*ck?» *stands up and steps closer to Hunter in a threatening way*

Hunter: «*stands up in fear* I was joking! Eh? *pats Adrian’s shoulder* I’ll have sex with my dog instead! Ha-ha…»

Hunter’s Dog on a leash: *agitated barking*

Adrian: «You gotta start telling me why I’m here or I’m telling you, I’ll f*ck you up. I’m not joking, man.»

Hunter: «Uuuh, alright, uhm. *sits on a chair and starts whispering* Just sit down, hush. *looks to the left and to the right* I’ll tell you, boy… But first you tell me, you know, I don’t know who you are, you are at my spot. What if, uh, you are a bandit and you are here to steal my stuff. I don’t know, you better start explaining. Would you? Would you tell me why you’re here?»

Adrian: «You dragged me in here yourself, stupid. Strange motherf*cker. Now you want to chat? It ain’t gonna cut it, buddy.»

Hunter: «Okay, I was just interested. I don’t blame you. I don’t. *jitters towards the direction of Adrian as soon as he starts scratching the head and suddenly stops* Niiice weather today, no? Won’t you agree? Heh-heh. Yeah. Look, son. I see you are not from around here. Neither am I. Well, I been living out my life over here for well over ten years. I moved out after that "Early Warning" so to say. You know what I’m talking about?»

Adrian: «You mean hurricanes, increase in seismic activity?»

Hunter: «Eeexactly. Our old country… It was a strange place. There I had a wife, kids, everything that I could possibly need. Oh, alcohol, yeah. *chuckles* They kinda moved their separate ways. Well, one day when we had sex, we kept our TV on, to keep us company. Then that broadcast showed up. I pushed her away from my d-

*Dialogue Interruption – Adrian*

Adrian: «Less details please.»

Right. Basically, well. We lived a bit too far from the city center. There weren’t that many cars or folk around. We were way behind schedule for evac, or wherever they took those people. Only guys that’s left were ones with private choppers trying to make a buck on other people’s sorrows. Our salary wasn’t that high to leave our spot. So I quickly called kids to our house. They came. Then, well… I called my friends from the mountains…»

Adrian: «Friends from the mountains? What does that mean?»

Hunter: «Ah, well, real charming guys. You see, sheepherd, I needed money. I had to do the only thing necessary to survive. These naked men came in, our family bursts into tears, my wife is trying to punch me, but can’t, as her titties being dragged in to their car. They ripped clothes from my kids, put them in to small cages and threw them in the back of their cars… Yeah. Well, it paid off. They given me enough money and I safely made it out. No secret, really.»

Adrian: «You sold your family? Are you f*cking kidding me? You are a psychopath!»

Hunter: «Boy, it was matter of life and death. Wouldn’t you do it? Wouldn’t you sell em’ so that you get a chance to survive?»

Adrian: «I, uh, I can’t believe it… Perhaps you’re just way too drunk? You’re lying. There is no way this is real.»

Hunter: «Brother, they sent me her photo. Her brains were slowly eaten, her sexual organs were cut first… They said first they "squeezed milk out", whatever that means, then cut it. They squeezed her body of liquid to "clean" her, or whatever. I don’t care. Then I got sad. I got sad they actually killed her. But hey, they also sent me this photo right here, look. *shows Adrian a photo of his children locked in cages* They are still there! They are putting them through a reprogramming or something like that. At least they are still alive! So things aren’t all that sad? They still live with them out there! Boy, am I a good father.»

Adrian: «What?»

Hunter: «Well, then I become gay and find a boyfriend. I move to Russia and find that Ivan dude. The guy is f*cking hot. *straightens neck* Yeah. Oh, yeah, boy. We were living together for so many years…»

Adrian: «What happened to him?»

Hunter: «One day he went hunting. Everything was fine, the usual day. Until he runs back in terror, screaming about what he saw… Talking about some strange sound out of complete nowhere. And it was well before the 7-hour war. That there was that strange woman wearing green clothes. Brrh. He didn’t say much, except that she had lizard pets and a tail showing up from under her dress. Few days later guy wakes up with a snapped neck. Literally stands up from his bed and moments later drops dead. Perhaps he spoke too soon or been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Could be that or we played a little too much stripper twister the other day. Either way, something is living out there and is keeping Combine themselves terrified. Partly a reason why they don’t usually show up in that part of the world.»

Adrian: «Or perhaps there are so many imbeciles here they hardly think this is worth it.»

Hunter: «Hey, for you I may be the worst person you could possibly find, but living out here and not getting your hands dirty, *tsk* no. Not possible. Khm. *drinks beer*»

Adrian: *coughs* «Throat, man. *stands up and looks out the window* You’re insane. *seeing a line of graves* How many of these graves out there? Do you just bury everyone you see? You psychotic son of a b*tch…»

Hunter: «Now you see what happens to the parasites brave enough to take a chance at me, thinking they could all storm in here and do what they want. I made it clear – it ain’t happening. Arranged a small cemetery out there, keeping unwanted fools from coming too close. Worked so far. Well, not counting fifty people I had to kill to steal their food and supplies. Times have changed, brother. As for Ivan, didn’t seem appropriate burying him along with this trash. With a beast that he was in bed, guy deserved more. I gently, key word, gently threw him into a hole on my backyard, threw a bunch of flowers in, a couple of whiskey bottles, his pink underwear he loved so much aaand… I suppose that’s it. Oh, underwear also landed on his face, but I hope he’s okay with that. Kinda looking back to those times of us roleplaying together. Meh, whatevs. *keeps drinking* Perhaps you are gonna be my new partner. I need someone in my life, you know, to keep me company. As friends. Close friends, ah, relatives.»

Adrian: «I think I’m just gonna go.» *tries to grab the bag*

Hunter: «*block Adrian* Na-ah, ah, ah! Nope. Where is it that ya going, boy? *touches Adrian’s testicles* Boyo? Hm? Uh, no, stop. Heh-heh-heh.»

Adrian: «Ugh, you d*ck. Let me through. *speaking with a shaking voice* Please. I’m begging you. Just let me go.»

Hunter: «Hey, I ain’t exactly keeping you hostage. You ain’t getting it back unless you do what I ask.»

Adrian: «I’m gonna kill you with my hands.»

Hunter: «Ha-ha! You could try. Wanna do wrestling? I heard wrestlers get erections while colliding with bodies of their opponents. It could quickly turn into something sexual that way when one starts losing control of where he puts his arms. A lot can happen when a man is close to another man’s body. I’m all up for it, if this is how you want it.»

Adrian: *starts crying* «What the f*ck… What are you saying? How, how do you let yourself speak like that? *wipes tears* Impossible. You’re the craziest *nervously breathing* you are the craziest lunatic I’ve ever seen. Just how? How do you even exist?»

Hunter: «Alcohol! *chuckles* Sh*t, son, don’t make me laugh. Ha-ha, this is funny. Guess you are in some sort of a shock. It’s okay. We’re okay, you and me. I see that you’re young and all. Listen, boy, I need you to do something veery tiny for me. It has nothing to do with sex, I promise. Just, eh, just relax. I’m not pressing on you or anything.» *gives Adrian a back rub*

Adrian: «*speaks in a disappointed, raised voice* «What do you want from me?»

Hunter: «Theeere is a construction site not too far from here. I’ve seen it, but couldn’t dare walking anywhere close. At some point Combine had actually been there trying to take over the forest. You know how it ended up. This is the only quarantine zone in the entire place. They’ve boarded everything. Area could be infested. There’s something I really need, eh. I’m just… I could really use someone brave, someone like you. Someone who’s young and has energy. I’m way past my prime to do anything that requires much physical work. Say, if you could bring me some construction tools, you get your bag back. I checked and there really isn’t anything useful in that bag of yours. Not sure why you get yourself so worried about it.»

Adrian: «I have no other choice, do I? Fine, I’ll go looking for them. Dude, no offence, you are weird as f*ck.»

Hunter: «Go ahead, leave. It’s right there. *points towards the direction of a construction site* Now go, I have some private diaries to read. Mhm.»

Adrian: «If I find out you read my diary… You’ll pay for it, no joke.» *leaves the house*

*Adrian runs to a construction site fast*

«I gotta hurry. What if he spills his cheap whiskey over my diary pages. Or rips them or uses them as toilet paper. Sh*t! I wouldn’t be surprised.»

Adrian: *running and breathing* «Dude, this is crazy. *breathing* Who is this guy? There are no people around. No one can help me… Somehow… *breathing* Somehow I think this could be a lot worse. If he had me tied up… I don’t know what would happen. I don’t wanna live with this guy, I don’t wanna see him again.»

*Adrian reaches a construction site and climbs over a fence*

«Gotta hurry. Gotta do it fast.»

*Adrian approaches a broken building*

«There are the toolboxes. There they are.»

Adrian: *opens all toolboxes one by one* «They are empty. No way. Why?» *finds a piece of paper*

Notes of a construction worker ("To the rescue people"): «We are leaving for good. Not getting paid enough to construct buildings under portal storms while brushing off these huge grubs and ugly spider-chickens. We aren’t soldiers, people. We have families. Our boss can go f*ck himself, let him do it. Can’t work in such life-threatening conditions. It gets worse every minute, we gotta find shelter. I warned my family by phone that I’m not coming today. Others too, have warned their close ones. Can’t go through the forest, trees can fall on our heads they say. A rescue company is coming tomorrow to collect us by chopper. If you are looking for us, we’ll be inside that mine shaft. Hope to hear from you soon.»

Adrian: «Not this again. What a bunch of BS. Alright. Gotta find a way into a mining shaft.»

*Adrian walks into a mining shaft*

Adrian: *sneezing* «Oh, wow. So narrow in here. How do people even work at places like this?»

*Numbers are still echoing in Adrian’s head as he walks through a mine shaft*

Adrian: «Yeah. *sigh* It’s so dark. Gotta tread carefully. Can barely see where to go. *seeing a yellow light* A lamp! Finally.»

*Adrian approaches what he thinks is a lamp*

Adrian: «Wait. It’s moving. What the… A grub? And so big. It’s glowing with some yellow substance. *tries to touch a grub* Hmm…»*grub flinches*

*Antlion Grub flinches, Adrian gets scared, walks back and falls through a large web into a cave*

Adrian: «Nooo! *falls onto a pile of dead bodies* Argh, sh*t. This motherf***er. I’ll squash him when I get back. *looks at a pile of dead construction workers* Yeah, exactly. Those thrills were way above their pay.»

*Adrian picks up a wrench soaking in blood. Blood is dripping from the wrench*

Adrian: «Nasty. Just as I want my wrench.»

*Antlion Guardian runs out of the corner and charges at Adrian*

*Adrian dodges Antlion Guardian and falls into a pool of water under him*

Adrian: «Pff. Uh. I hope he’s not gonna follow me in here. *Antlion Guardian runs away* B*tch can’t even swim.»

*Adrian takes out a lighter from the pocket and burns down the web, crouching into a hole full of grubs*

Adrian: «You a**ohles are the reason why I almost died in the first place. *kills all the Antlion Grubs with the wrench* *picks up a yellow substance* I wonder if it’s edible. Yeah, this is the last question I should ask myself. Still, all I was eating recently was Hunter’s sausage. Bet it was as dry as his d*ck I am about to crush. Just you wait till I get back.»

Antlion Grub: *noises*

*Antlion Grub gets crushed*

*Adrian gets out of the hole*

*Antlion Guardian follows Adrian*

Adrian: «No, I ain’t gonna hide from it. Let’s test his instincts. Good thing I slept, now I have just enough energy to take care of the issue.»

«There are a lot of these huge eggs attached to a snot. They are really solid and look like rocks. Looking closer, for some reason they look corroded. As if that web is toxic enough to bite through something so heavy. Perhaps if I use my secondary attack – a heavy swing, I can bring them down and make it harder for him to navigate.»

*Adrian swings his wrench, hits eggs inside a web, as they crumble, blocking a way for an Antlion Guardian*

Adrian: «Ah, It requires a muscle for sure.»

*Antlion Guardian tries to find another path to Adrian*

Adrian: «Now that I have a weapon… They will all see who they are messing with.»

*Adrian jumps into one of the holes, kills more Antlion Grubs, collecting more of the pellets*

Adrian: *laughs* *throws out a bunch of pellets to attract an Antlion Guardian* «He must be stupid enough.»

*Antlion Guardian runs up to one of the pellets and starts eating them one by one*

Antlion Guardian: *sounds of anger and displeasure*

Adrian: «Oh yeah. I have a rock-solid idea.»

*Adrian runs out to a bunch of eggs attached to a web and sets up a bunch of pellets right next to them*

Adrian: «Here, kitty-cat. There’s more. *hides inside a hole next to the eggs*»

Antlion Guardian: *runs up to pellets, looks into all directions* *eating pellets*

*Adrian climbs out of the hole, hits the eggs as they collapse on an Antlion Guardian, heavily injuring him*

Adrian: «You shouldn’t have f*cked with me.» *swings his wrench into Antlion Guardian*
Vortigaunt Voices: «Stop!» *echoing*

Adrian: «Ah, sh*t, you scared me. Who is this? Where is it coming from? Alright, fine. I’ll spare you, but I will kill you if you show up again.» *walks away*

Adrian: «This place is full of adventure. And full of these liquidy, yellow-blooded monsters to kill. It is so satisfying. I can’t stress this enough of how happy I am that I finally found something I can crack skulls with. Let’s put these motherf*****s to sleep.»

*Antlions fly up to Adrian, as he is killing them one by one.*

Adrian: «Any more of you pesky bugs coming out?»

*Antlion Worker flies out and starts spitting a toxic spray into Adrian*

*Adrian dodges, but gets a bit of spray on the skin*

Adrian: «Aaah, f*ck, aaah. It hurts. It hurts so freaking much. *runs away and hides* No. No, I can’t take on them yet. *applies one pellet smearing it on his injury* Uh. It stings. Might not be the safest bet. I’m not sure.»

*Adrian jumps into the water and swims through cave labyrinths*

«This is insane. You wouldn’t pay me a grand to climb into such environments. Worst part is – I’m here for free.»

*Adrian walks out of the cave back into the mines*

«I don’t like either caves or mines. That’s why I prefer to escape places like this as fast as possible, there isn’t anything interesting about them anyway. Gotta speed things up now that I have the energy.»

*In the mines, Adrian breaks a wooden barricade with a wrench and climbs out into a sunlight*

Adrian: *heavy breathing* «Oh, sh*t! *almost falls as the ground under him crumbles* Where am i? This is dangerous. And beautiful.»

*Adrian is on top of a tall canyon, overlooking fields and valleys. Forest is visible in the far distance*

«I see some villages over there. Some damaged, some turned into ruins.»

*Adrian sinks in the view*

Adrian: *hears footsteps behind him* *screaming*

Construction Zombie: *groans*

*Zombie tries to attack Adrian and falls off a cliff*

Adrian: «Yeah, I better get out of here.»

Adrian: *looks at the field in worry* «Is this where I’m going to have to go? It’s gonna be quite tedious. Just gotta find these green marks and get back on the path.»

*Adrian jumps over obstacles, climbs back and makes his way back to Hunter*

Adrian: «He better still be there…»

*Adrian runs into the Hunter’s house and pushes the wooden door, breaking it*

Hunter: *sleeping* *snores* *door breaks* «Ah! Who is this!? *stands up* Oh, my son, my dear boy Sheepherd, have you… Have you found what an old man has been asking for?»

Adrian: *chuckles* «Oh yeah. I’ve got just what you need…» *swings a wrench around*

Hunter: *nervous tone* «Oh, uh… Only a wrench, well that’s no problem. You see, I haven’t been sending you there for nothing, I uh… I need help. Can you help an old gasping man, uh… I need someone to… *coughs* Nice weather today, ain’t it? Anyway, I need someone to fix me a toilet. It’s broken. A young man like you should be able to… Uh-huh, yeah.»

Adrian: «A toilet? *laughs* So where is it? Can you show me?»

Hunter: «Yeah-yeah. Come with me. *leads Adrian to toilet* There it is and the bag is yours. Can I count on you, young man? Son?»

Adrian: «Oh yeah. Oh, you do. You definitely do.» *hits Hunter’s leg with a heavy swing*

*Hunter’s leg is broken*

Hunter: *loud screaming*

Adrian: «I heard you love drinking alcohol. Means your own urine shouldn’t taste too bad.» *grabs Hunter by the neck and starts drowning him*

Hunter: *sounds of panic* *sounds of worry* *sounds of a relaxed pleasure* «Mph… Mmmphhh…»

Adrian: «Let’s mix it up with something…»*pulls out a sexual organ from the pants and starts pissing on Hunter’s hair* *grabs Hunter by the hair and pulls him out* Smell it, old man! Smell it! How’s that sausage for you, a**hole?» *rubs it by Hunter’s nose*

Hunter: «Why, boy? Why? I was only drunk! I didn’t mean it, I really didn’t!»

*Adrian smashes Hunter’s head on the toilet until a wide blood stain appears on his forehead*

Hunter: *closes his eyes, mumbles, starts moving eyeballs as if dreaming, starts crying*

Adrian: «Oh, that’s too sad! Let’s wipe those tears of yours, shall we? *finishes Hunter off by drowning him in the toilet* By killing you – I’m doing the world a favor.»

*Adrian opens his diary, tears an empty page out, draws a smiley and drops it behind a toilet*

«I teached a guy a lesson.»

*Adrian goes to kitchen, eats bread, meat, drinks milk, completely relieving hunger*

Adrian: *relaxed sigh* «Satisfying.» *picks up Hunter’s pistol and the bag*

«I would have picked up more guns if I had a bigger inventory. For now, have to use only a pistol.»

Adrian: *attempts to walk out of the house* *attacked by a Fast Zombie jumping from the doorway*
«Motherf****r» *pushes a Fast Zombie away with one leg and picks up Hunter’s rifle*

*Adrian kills a Fast Zombie*

*More Fast Zombies are screaming outside the house*

Adrian: «Survival then. Alright.»

*Adrian kills 10 Fast Zombies showing up in the pack of 2 from different directions*

*Adrian drops the rifle with no ammo in it and picks up a pistol*

Adrian: «Looks like that’s all of them. *stares deeper into the woods* Hm.»

*Adrian is seeing a woman in green dress smiling, turning back and merging with green leaves*

Adrian: «Brhh… Am I hallucinating?»

*Adrian kills Hunter’s dog*

Hunter’s Dog on a leash: *dies*

*Walking away, Adrian notices a few blue barrels outside the Hunter’s house*

Adrian: «These blue barrels… Somehow I don’t want to check what’s inside.» *keeps walking*

*Adrian goes to where he last saw an unknown woman*

Adrian: *confused on where to go next* «Nah, I can’t risk getting off track. I don’t know where to go.» *eats a berry to contact vortigaunts*

Vortigaunt: «Under coercion, new species have been pushed into this world in fright and uncertainty, bringing disastrous changes to the Earth’s diversity of life. Progressively merging with a new balance, those creatures have successfully developed new impulses, adapting to disparate conditions of life, thus helping them restrain aggression led by the unknown. They still feel the mistrust towards your species, steering clear of human controlled zones and shall do what they can to protect their regular habitat. Keep advancing forward and you will meet your goal.»

Adrian: «Yeah, "forward"… Thanks for detailed directions, morons. The most useless sh*t I’ve heard in a while. So many words and you get literally nothing out of it.»

*Adrian swings his wrench around*

Wood Pigeons: *sounds*

Bullsquid: *drinking river water*

Adrian: «There he is… A first animal. Actually, first animal was that shack pervert, but he’s dead now.»

Bullsquid: *stops drinking water and looks at Adrian* *confused sounds* *keeps drinking water*

«So it’s true, they aren’t as hostile as they’ve used to be… Insane. That changes everything. All I need to do is walk past them, avoid getting on their bad side.»

*Two houndeyes are running around together, hiding from one another*

Adrian: «Playing catch-up? Wow. Never thought I’d see them doing anything other than killing. Who would have thought?»

Houndeye: *sounds of sonic attack*

*Houndeye drops cherries from a tree using a sonic attack*

*Bear uses one of the houndeyes as a pillow*

«Alright, this gets weird.»

*Sudden lightning strike appears and the rain starts*

*Animals are running away*

«Everything is getting grey and dark…»

*Deer comes out with blood dripping from the head*

Adrian: «What is that on your head? A headcrab?»

Zombie Deer: *irritated noises of discomfort* *struggles from headcrab’s possession, moving the head erratically*

*Zombie Deer charges into a tree and drops a beehive on himself. Being unable to run away due to headcrab’s control, Zombie Deer is slowly being killed by bees*

Adrian: «This is f*cking insane… I better get out of here.» *walks into an abandoned village*

«There’s dirt everywhere, buildings are completely abandoned. I don’t have time to stop and look.»

Adrian: «F*ck. Another headcrabbed animal…»

*Zombie Horse with a Fast Headcrab on it’s head runs around the village*

«This horse barely has any flesh left. There are those long spikes growing from his pasterns.»

Zombie Horse: *charges at Adrian*

*Adrian repeatedly dodges a Zombie Horse and kills him with a pistol*

Kid: *crying* *terrified whispering* «Help! Please help!»

«There’s a kid… Calling me from behind that wooden fence near the house… Mmphm. Young blood!»

Kid: «Please… I’m thirsty… And it’s so cold. I’m alone in here… Where are my parents?»

Adrian: «Tss… It’s okay. Come with me into the house, tell me what happened, boy.»

Kid: *walks into a house with Adrian* «They said they’ll come back…» *cries*

Adrian: «Chshh, boy. Chshhh… Now let me tell you something very important into your ear. Just come closer.»

*Kid comes closer to Adrian*

Adrian: *leans to the Kid’s ear and slightly grabs his pinna* *opens up mouth and starts wiggling the tongue for a little bit* *reaches out for a pistol* «Come on inside, boy. Uh-hum. Nice and slow.»

*Few minutes later Adrian comes out of the house*

Adrian: *whistles and adjusts his pants, clothes and zips his pistol back in the bag*

*Adrian looks back on a naked dead corpse full of foam in the mouth, choked and suffocated*

Adrian: «You’ve done good, boy. You’ve been a real good boy… Ah, it was so hot in that house. Mwah.»

«Ha-ha, this is so funny. When his parents get back, I wonder what reaction they’ll get, seeing him all physically f*cked up inside-out. This is just so great. Especially when my pistol came from the back and went out right from the mouth, penetrating through several organs. I love it when that happens. My silencer just makes it long enough. I practiced it a lot throughout the years…»

*Steals a dirtbike and drives away, chewing Kid’s cut off arm*

*Adrian stops by a nearby gas-station to fuel a bike and is met by two hungry hermits*

Hermit: *crawls on all fours, keeping distance from Adrian* «Hmh, uh? *looks at a Kid’s arm* Uumm, ham! Ham!» *gestures asking to get a piece of Kid’s arm*

Hermit(2): *howling*

Adrian: «Alright, just leave me the f*ck alone.» *drops Kid’s arm into a rain puddle*

*One of the hermits slices Kid’s arm right in a rain puddle*

*Hermits are eating Kid’s arm using rain puddle as sauce*

Adrian: *fuels bike* «I better get out of here fast before they transition to me.»

*Adrian drives away*

«They were way too unpredictable. So many crazy people out here. There were also two skeletons lying inside of a gas station. Wonder who they were.»

*An hour later*

Adrian: *stops bike* *nervously breathing* «I’m so worried. F*ck, I’m so worried. What the f*ck… Everyone is insane!»

*Hours later, Adrian drives out into an open field*

«I was driving in one direction for so long, avoiding all cars blocking the way and a lot of those monsters… Gotta say, this whole road was terrifying. So many abandoned small towns, dead bodies and no normal human being in sight. Yeah… Why am I even surprised?»

*Adrian drives up a short hill*

Lizard: *hissing*

Adrian: «What do you want?»

Lizard: *calls Adrian through sounds*

*Adrian gets off a bike and follows a lizard*

*Gunshots are heard*

Adrian: «Sh*t. *hides behind a rock* Those guys in uniform. They don’t look friendly. Should I come out and kick their a**?»

Lizard: *hisses loudly three times*

Adrian: «I take it as a yes.»

*Combine Soldiers are trying to storm a cave*

Combine Soldier: *inaudibly screams for help*

*Combine Soldiers are being eaten by small lizards*

*Adrian smacks the first Combine Soldier with a wrench, picking up a Pulse Rifle, starting a firefight and killing remaining Combine Soldiers*

Adrian: *walks into a cave and sits on a rock*

*From the corner Mistress wearing green clothes comes out and greets Adrian*

Mistress: «I knew many men. From hard, industrious workers… To bandits such as yourself. Young, but so dangerous. I am aware of what you are.»

Adrian: «Girl, are you the Samuel’s wife by any chance? That cat food dude?»

Mistress: «Had it been another day, another year, another time – I would have punished you for all misdeeds you have committed. Hard times have come, however, and they make demands on all of us. Even after all that you’ve done, you have the skills necessary to serve my forest well against the intruders of my domain.»

Adrian: «That’s some double standards right there, girl. Listen, I’m on my way to I don’t know where, how about you let me go? I’m tired as f*ck, like wow. *pulls out a cola bottle* Wanna have a drink with me? You got a cup or something? If you are from around here, I’m sure you haven’t had cola in a long while with sanctions and all. *opens cola with a lighter* Not even here cola can escape me, I’ll enjoy it so much. *looks at a Mistress with a smirk*»

Mistress: *pushes cola bottle and spills it all over Adrian’s uniform* «*laughs playfully* So this is how you foreigners grow manboobs. *pinches his nipple*»

Adrian: «Girl, what are you…» *feels a tail slowly hugging his lower torso*

Mistress: *sits with Adrian* *puts a hand on Adrian’s shoulder* «For helping me fight off those scumbags, I have a reward for you... Something you might not have had in a long while… Or ever, or even properly…»

Adrian: «What’s your game, girl… Why do you…»

Mistress: «Shhh…» *slides her finger down Adrian’s lips*

Adrian: «I like where this is going.»

*Mistress clothes curtains for lizards by a single finger snap*

*Two minutes later*

Adrian: *pleasure-induced breathing* «Yes! Endure! Suffer! Oh, yes!»

Mistress: *shaky breathing* «Do you like it? *sigh* Do you like me in that spot? *sigh* Or maybe like this… *an even louder sigh* Put your hand here, hold it… How’s my skin? *scratches Adrian’s back with a tail*»

Adrian: «Lady, I think I got goosebumps. It’s like I’m turning into a lizard myself… Your skin is all scaly, green. It’s like you’re wearing a rubber suit, but it’s all skin. I like it that way. Please… *loud breathing* Oh f… Oh yeah… Please I-» *starts coughing and sneezing*

Mistress: «What’s wrong, Adrian?»

Adrian: «I always have that… *coughs two times* After an orgasm. *sniffs* That’s it… That’s it, girl… Sh*t.» *starts sleeping*

*Hours later*

Adrian: *wakes up in a field with a bike next to him* «Man, I can’t believe I had sex with a lizard woman.» *blows his nose, takes a piss and drives away*

*An hour later*

*Adrian drives by an old house in the woods*

Old Woman: «Ah *sees Adrian on his bike and puts a hand on her chest to where the heart is* Tsk, tsk, tsk, oi, oi…»

Adrian: *stops his bike* «Hi, old woman. You mind if I call you that? Old woman?»

Old Woman: «Malchik… (Boy) Um, eh, here, *waves rag* here, *slaps knee* here! Inside… Eda, eda! (Food)» *mimics eating with a spoon*

Adrian: «*sigh* Oh, f*ck… What’s wrong now? What’s inside?» *walks into the house*

Old Woman: «Seichas, seichas. (Wait a sec) *lays the table, puts a jar with jam, bread, butter to where the samovar is* *puts butter on bread* Nu, (Well) not hamburger, buuut… Siedobnoe.(Edible) Eat. *points her hand* Poleznoe!» (Healthy)»

«And right here depression hit me. I was too spoiled by all this fake food with chemicals back at our country. Never in my life have I had decency to try plain bread and butter.»

Adrian: «Ew. Meh, nah, I’m not eating it.»

Old Woman: «Da *pfft* healthy eda (Food) vot, vot, na.» (Here, here) *spreads jam on a slice of bread while trying to draw a smile on it with a knife*

Adrian: «Eh. Still ain’t it, but fine. *tries it* Brrh, pss, ah! *squints* Water, water! B*tch is sour.» *sticks the tongue out*

Old Woman: *takes a jar with jam and shows it to Adrian* «Smorodina! (Black Currant) Mine, my, my! You never eat? Ha! Smotri. (Look) *takes jar and starts eating jam with a spoon* Mmm. Vkusnyatina! (Yummy) *shakes head*»

Adrian: «B*tch, you better give me some water right f*cking now. Your food is complete sh*t.»

Old Woman: «Mmm, tsk, tsk… *keeps eating* Vkus detstv-» (Taste of Childh-)

*Adrian grabs Old Woman by the neck and starts strangling her*

Old Woman: «*gasps* Pomogite… (Help) Detochka… (Honey) Ne hochu umirat’.» (Don’t want to die) *eyes are watering*

Adrian: «Where the f*ck are my favorite Orio cookies? Where are the Reese’s pieces? You are feeding me poison, you pathetic old witch!»

*Old Woman’s neck snaps*

Adrian: «Now you understand? *kicks Old Woman’s corpse* What else do I do to you… *picks up a hunter rifle and ammo* Look at that… You had a husband? Time to meet him then, wh*re. *blows her head off* You like eating it? Then go there! *picks up Old Woman’s brain pieces and shoves it into a jar* Go there!» *goes outside and throws her into a wooden rustic toilet*

«Anyway. Gotta keep moving.»

*Adrian drives by an old bunker*

Adrian: *stops bike* «Gotta check what’s inside. I don’t know where I’m headed anyway.»

*Adrian walks through a doorway of a bunker and gets hit in the head with a rifle’s stock*

Adrian: *screaming and losing consciousness*

???: «Grab his other hand.»

???: «Drag him in.»

*Adrian is being dragged through bunker’s corridors*

«This could be it… Finally.»

*Adrian is thrown to the naked hairy legs of an old man*

Adrian: «The smell… It’s familiar. Those hairy, dirty legs that I know.»

Commander Barry: *grabs Adrian by his collar and reads his dog tag* «Adrian? *drops Adrian on carpet hard* I thought you were dead.»

Adrian: *falls on carpet* «Ah, sh*t.»

Commander Barry: «You just had to wait until I get grey hair. So you have finally found us? Was it by… *impatiently asks* Accident? *pokes Adrian with the boots* Accident? I hope not. Now that you are with us, you have no other choice but to stay with us.»

*Others in the room are collectively surprised: «Wow! Adrian…»*

Commander Barry: «Get out of the room, you idiots!» *throws sunflower seeds into them*

*Others are running away*

Commander Barry: «Stand up. Now.»

Adrian: «Yes, sir, Barry, uh, Commander…»

Commander Barry: *adjusts Adrian’s clothes and pats his shoulder* «So you remember me? Of course you do. My apple juice of a corporate recipe would do that to you… Yeah, I should stop with this one already. Either way, glad you found us, boy. *sits on a chair* Welcome to the "Revolution", welcome to the base of operations, our new HQ. You like it here?»

Adrian: «Uh… No, sir, not really.»

Commander Barry: «Yeah… *sigh* That is a real shame. Shame things turned out the way they did. I can’t believe it. Still, after all these years. They screwed us over. There I thought democracy meant anything to our government, appointing that fool as a man in charge. *chuckles* Well, I’m not taking orders from him… *turns on a TV with a muted sound* I muted the sound just to see his face. Not from someone who… Just look at him! Look at that guy! He looks like he has, uh, I don’t know, canoodles with rubber dolls in a gay club. He looks like he gets spanking every day… Not me, not anymore, I miss it so much… This is f*cking unacceptable. *turns off a TV and starts crying* Adrian… We could really use an extra gun, someone like you. Everything had changed, everything. I just… *wipes tears off* Call me Barry, son. Just…»

Adrian: «What happened?»

Commander Barry: «Everything had happened! After a failure that Black Mesa operation was, we had to pull out. We had nowhere to come back to, us, like a bunch of stray dogs, we felt like bandits. Some of us, we tried to find a shelter, as soon as we heard warnings about portal storms and missiles… It’s a miracle that we got to see the Incident and not pay out with our lives like the rest of humanity or most of it. We got off easy, hiding in shelters, stealing all the weaponry we could find and advancing from bunker to bunker for a few years. That eventually led us here, a bunker not too far off from City 17, but still far enough from Combine douchebags.»

Adrian: «Does that mean it’s only us and the monsters?»

Commander Barry: «Ha! That would be too good to be true. You see Adrian, you are lucky to have a commander like me.»

Adrian: «I’m not too sure about that. Not after all that you’ve done.»

Commander Barry: «Hey, I know, I’ve been hanging you upside down, teasing you with a chicken leg that I was waving in front of your mouth, but there really was no other way… I had to train you, train you for what’s coming. *scratches head* Eeeh, some other "commanders", well, Combine are now using them as mercenaries. Many had accepted the new orders laid out by a new "government", but not me, I couldn’t believe it, but I wasn’t a fool, I knew they are f*cking with us. I knew what’s going on, so me and our squad had to break out, we are now a threat to them, criminals that need sterilizing or whatever that means. I wasn’t on board with whatever they were pushing.»

Adrian: «Why would the Combine need mercenaries?»

Commander Barry: «Some of them, remnants of an old U.S Military, they possess knowledge, they know who we are and how to find us. They don’t really fit into their ranks, but do the job necessary for Breen to close his eyes on that. Their task is to find people like us, people who didn’t sell everyone out and wipe us out. They are here, somewhere, their numbers are greater, but with someone like you on board we could possibly fight them off. As for the Combine, they have other things to worry about than us hiding in some bunker. Little do they know, here we have all the weaponry, resources and most importantly, contacts, critical contacts that can help us with our mission.»

Adrian: «Which contacts?»

Commander Barry: «Ha, I knew you were going to ask that question. Would be dumb for it to be just one long line without you taking a part, as pointless as your questions are. So, our contacts are refugees in and around City 17. All these years we weren’t exactly sitting here doing nothing. We were planning an uprising, stealing critical data on how the Combine operate. We have that guy, Barney is his name, he helps us with what we need. He works undercover and helps more people to turn to our side. The problem, however, in the recent weeks, we have lost communication with the network of refugees.»

Adrian: «Is it fixable?»

Commander Barry: «Now that you are here, we’ll get to solving. There are old Combine fortifications around the forest, guarded by those mercenaries. We think that there, inside of their bases they keep signal jammers that block the connection. Right now the top priority is take them down, if we don’t, we won’t be able to do anything. We have a bunch of lab rats not far from here, they too, need some help. Apparently these jammers also block teleportation and that really stops them from doing their work. You should visit them.»

Adrian: «Will do then… Not like I have anywhere else to go.»

Commander Barry: «Trust me, you don’t. The 7-hour war really shook us all up. Before that there was that Green Flu that was responsible for partially disrupting our government. It caused serious shortages of our whole military. Interesting timing.»

Adrian: «I wonder how it’s been out there in Riverside when all this mess had started.»

Commander Barry: «Not very good. Most of the survivors from the south disappeared in a ship over the Bermuda Triangle. Literally disappeared amidst lightning flashes. It’s not the first time something like that had happened.»

Adrian: «What was the other time?»

*A gang of robbers is climbing out of the sewer one by one, right next to Mercy Hospital*

Wolf: *climbs out first* «Boy, oh boy, I think I heard an alligator down there, you hurry!»

Dallas: *climbs out* *groans* «Cut on crack, Wolf. Alligators can’t climb *sigh* ladders.»

Wolf: «Have you been smoking again?»

*Hoxton and Chains are climbing out*

Chains: «Man, it’s been a long way. I hate these times when we have to climb one same ladder bumping into each other’s a**es.»

Hoxton: «Ayo, fellas. Smells like diapers and a bunch of disgruntled old men, I say we are close to wherever we need to be. A hospital job. Should be fairly simple, right? *spreads arms demonstratively and looks at others* What, am I sensing uncertainty from you three?»

Wolf: «I think I got a rain droplet in my eye. Stings bad, guys, perhaps we should postpone the job and go to the bar?»

Hoxton: «From sewer and into the bar… Sounds like my life story. *sigh* What do you guys think? I mean, what are the chances something like that is going to lead to a world catastrophe?»

Chains: «Nah, I haven’t been swimming through all that sh*t to bail now. *leaning on both his knees with two hands* *sighs with a short pause* Part of me wants to retire. Buy a nice house, find a girlfriend… I mean how long are we gonna pull off those successful scores?»

Hoxton: «Until the day we are going to land in prison or at the morgue. This is our hobby. This is what we do. Let’s keep taking a piss at a government while we still can.»

Wolf: «Yeah, I heard you. *puts earplugs in connected to the phone* Just let me turn on some dubstep real quick and we are ready to move. *starts dancing* This beat slaps hard! Oh yeah.»

Random man on a bench: *angrily groans* «Argh! Pathetic! *spits* You immigrants will climb out of anywhere these days. *walks away* Terrible people, terrible f*cking music.»

Dallas: «You guys are seriously cringing me out. I thought we were professionals.»

Chains: «Ah, I can’t believe he just said that. I can’t believe what we have become.»

Bain: *on the chatter* «Clowns, come in. Are you there yet?»

Dallas: «We hear you Bain. This whole street is crowded and there’s a line. I suppose we aren’t going in through a main entrance.»

Chains: «Not with these heavy guns we don’t.»

Bain: «Guys, no, listen, main entrance is out of the question. That is only going to attract attention. Remember what we have planned ahead of time. Avoid any direct contact with anyone on these streets. News outlets say infection is already spreading in and around Riverside. My guess – infection had already escaped the building. Head to the parking lot, just as we planned. Our getaway driver is ill, so I’m the one to fly a chopper. I’ll be at the roof of Mercy Hospital waiting for you.»

Dallas: «Gotcha, Bain. Over and out. Let’s do this, people. Parking lot should be right there.»

*Gang is heading towards the parking lot morgue*

Dallas: «Riot cops everywhere, cops are busy. Odds are in our favor.»

Hoxton: «Look at these crazy people spitting out blood and running into the shields. It’s like they are trying to bite them up. Hm.»

Dallas: «Yeah, this is quite strange. Don’t worry guys, we’ll be out of this town soon.»

Wolf: «Uh, shivers, urgh.»

*Gang walks deeper into the parking lot*

Wolf: «Ugh, I’m tired. Have to take a break.»

Chains: «Those guns are heavy. Sh*t.»

Hoxton: «We took the worst possible route to the hospital. So much for subtlety.» *opens a beer can*

Dallas: «Yeah, let’s just take a breath. *groans* My back. Argh, I’m too old for this sh*t. Osteochondrosis.» *coughs and starts smoking*

*Gang is taking a 5 minute break*

*5 minutes later*

*Gang is sitting quiet and sad, staring into the ground*

Wolf: «Guys, uh, guys? I think I have an idea.»

Chains: «Oh, it ain’t good. Not again.»

Wolf: «Those bicycles here. What if we take them and ride straight to the morgue? Sounds good? Guys?»

Hoxton: «Alright, wankers, quit sniffling, let’s get this started.»

*Dallas, Hoxton and Chains get on a bicycle*

Wolf: *tries to get on a bicycle* «Guys. Wait. Hold on. I don’t know how to ride a bicycle. *looks around* Guys, where are you?»

*Wolf falls of a bike and tries to catch up to the gang*

Wolf: «Wait, for me, wait for me!»

*Gang approaches a door leading to the morgue*

Dallas: «It’s the door. "Quarantine" written all over it. Think fast guys.»

Chains: *pulls out a drill*

Hoxton: «There it goes, our magical drill. Slow as wolf’s mom, but can glue on to anything.»

Wolf: «How do you know my mom’s?»

Dallas: «Oh sh*t. It’s 3 minutes. Somehow want a gunfire to suddenly erupt, so that I’m not going to have to listen to any of you. Could you at least keep it quiet? Should have just told Bain to shut up and walked through a main entrance.»

*3 minutes later*

Dallas: «Finally. Don’t touch the bodies, Wolf. *walks up to an elevator* Now an elevator.»

*Elevator goes down*

*Woman doctor walks out of an elevator*

Hoxton: *grabs woman by the neck and subdues her* «Hey, you got a phone number, girl? Shh. Go to sleep now.»

*Gang walks into an elevator*

Wolf: *in an elevator* «Guys, it feels like something’s in the air… Money!»

Chains: *laughs* «Man, he got some sense of humor! Can you believe it, guys?»

*Hoxton and Dallas are staring at Chains and look at each other*

Dallas: «Wouldn’t want to be in the same room with you guys again.»

Chains: «Ahem.»

Wolf: «You guys are a real buzzkill.»

Bain: «Guys, how is it going? Are you in yet?»

Dallas: «Copy. We are in an elevator, going up to the lobby. So who is it we are taking the blood from again? You got directions, anything?»

Bain: «That’s the problem. Part of the issue, we don’t even know who the guy is yet. You are going to have to take me in to their database and I’m going to be manually doing the searching in the information files for a guy we need. As for our buyer – he owns a private island somewhere in Morocco. Some sort of a government funded blacksite.»

Dallas: «Hm, I wonder why doesn’t our president "help" these guys in Africa against terrorists too, especially if he has that information. At least, we think he has that information.»

Bain: «I uh… I think he’s busy helping a bunch of clowns take over the country and destroy it from within. Hey, that’s just my guess.»

Dallas: *chuckles* «I see what you did there, Bain.»

*Gang comes out of an elevator into the crowd*

Bain: «Oh, one last thing. Did you bring these silenced pistols?»

Dallas: *sigh* «Wolf?»

Wolf: «Uh, yes boss?»

Dallas: «Did you bring the eh» *tries to mimic a silencer on his hands*

Wolf: «Uhm… What? Oh, you mean the silencer? Silencer for the pistol?»

Dallas: *irritated, puts a hand on the face* «You moron. There are people in here!»

Wolf: «We aren’t gonna kill them with silencers, are we?»

Dallas: «F*ck’s sakes, Wolf. Keep your mouth shut.»

*Nurse looks at Dallas and gets a wheelchair man away from them*

Dallas: *irritated breathing* «Pfff-ah.»

Bill: «Would you kindly… Would you kindly let me into an elevator, son?» *breathes into Dallas’s face*

Dallas: «You want me to punch you, old man?»

Bill: *chuckles* «Got better things to do than dealing with a mindless thug. Gonna squash your fingers the second you’re gonna flinch. *presses an elevator button* What, your mother didn’t love you? That’s too bad…»

*Dallas attempts to get into an elevator with Bill and is blocked by the elevator doors closing*

Dallas: «Motherf***er!»

Hoxton: «We aren’t here to make an assault on old men, Dallas.»

Dallas: «Alright, fine. Gang, look for cameras. You know what to do. And try not to stare into the cameras too much.»

*Gang puts masks on and breaks all cameras*

Wolf: «Everyone! On the ground, on the ground!»

Baby: *cries*

Dallas: «Nobody move! Nobody gets hurt!»

*Hostage tries to make a run for an alarm button*

Hoxton: «Aye, aye, don’t come anywhere near that button! That’s right, smart*ss. On the ground.» *hits a hostage*

Dallas: *screams to Chains through the corridor* «Chains! I’ve got the lobby! Tie those guys up and control another room! They are high risk being meters away from an alarm button!»

Chains: «Planning in advance, are we? Alright, fine, cover me.» *ties two men up*

Hostage: «Why are you touching me like that? Don’t touch meee. I have a boyfriend already!»

Chains: «What the sh*t...»

Bain: «Guys, the flash drive. Plug me in.»

Dallas: «You got it, Bain.» *plugs a flash drive giving the opportunity for Bain to hack into the patient files through a computer virus*

Bain: «Uh-huh, nice. I also intercepted their call system.»

Dallas: «You do what you gotta do, Bain. We got the situation under control from here.»

Bain: *incoming phone call* «Sh*t. *picks up a phone* Mercy Hospital.»

Caller: «Hi! I want to be a girl. Can you please make me a girl? Hmm? Men are smelly, sweaty and ugly… Very repulsive creatures. I also hate their p***ses. And the proportion of butt doesn’t look that much great. I can’t wear leggings without them laughing at me! I want those big tits, so that I can smile into their face and make them touch me. Women laugh at me when I have a small wiener. I want them all to love me. I want to be with them in the bathroom and just watch how they piss. I want them to oppress me against a sink like the predators they are. Hot. When I j*** off, I get tired after reaching a peak of orgasm. I’ve read in the magazine that contrary to men, women want more and more. They can do it more and more. They can do it non-stop when no one is looking. And when someone is looking it just looks sexy. Can you help me?»

Bain: *hangs the call down* «What the f*ck… Guys, did you hear that sh*t? Oh no. I can’t. I can’t do this. I need to calm my nerves for a little while... sh*t. Gang, I need a break. Look for the patient files on the tables yourselves. There have to be copies of them there somewhere. *sigh* I need to relax. Need some of this ice-cream.»

Dallas: *sigh* «Look for the patient files, gang.»

Wolf: *digs through a box full of toys* «Rabbit, no. Bear, no, no. Snake, ew. Raindeer? Oooh dear. *picks up a mirror from the box* Guys, I think I found our patient. Wait. It’s me!»

Hoxton: «What, am I the only one here who can read? *checks a patient file* There it is.» *takes a photo and sends it to Bain*

Dallas: «Bain, we are clear. We found what we need.»

Bain: «Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. Alright. *wipes sweat from the face* Set up those fake sentry turrets. Please, don’t tell Wolf they are fake.»

*Gang sets up fake sentry turrets*

Bain: «Now head to the dressing area, change your clothes and go to Doctor Eriksson.»

Dallas: «Guys, everyone, follow me. Wolf. Woolf *pushes Wolf’s shoulder* come on, we’ll get you some toys when we get home.»

*Gang changes clothes to play doctors*

Hoxton: «Alright, kids. Are you ready to play doctors?»

Wolf: «Man, this underwear is too tight.»

*Everyone looks at Wolf*

Dallas: «Are you f*cking kidding me? Why did you change your underwear? It’s not even yours.»

Wolf: «Look, okay, I change my underwear back.»

Chains: «Oh, please, oh no.» *looks away*

Wolf: «Okay. I’m ready.»

Hoxton: «The mask…»

Wolf: «Oh, right.»

*Gang heads to Doctor Eriksson*

Wolf: *tries to read a name badge* «Doctor… Doctor. Oh. *gets distracted by her breasts* Eh.»

Doctor Eriksson: *puts a hand out in front of Wolf to keep him away* «You are creeping me out. Is he with you, guys?»

Dallas: *forces Wolf out of the way* «Yeah, don’t pay attention to him. First day on the job! So, we need to know patient’s symptoms. Anyone out of the ordinary? I see there are three guys isolated in what looks to be quarantine. Could you give us a little tour, perhaps? Would really… Help us in our report.»

Doctor Eriksson: *explains patient symptoms*

Dallas: «So which one is it?»

Hoxton: «Gonna have to go with green on this one.»

Dallas: «Chains?»

Chains: «Uh. I think red is the one. She said something about, uh... I don't know.»

Dallas: «Wolf…?»

Wolf: «Hmm. Reed… Greeen… Don’t knoow. Oh, there’s yellow. I like red. I would choose red over green.»

Dallas: «Yeah… no sh*t. Which one to cut… *breathes into his arms* It gets cold in here. F*ck. Listen, guys. I can’t leave Wolf here with Doctor Eriksson. Chains, you will be his supervisor. So be it, Hox, let’s cut a red wire. Wolf, come here, *gives pliers to Wolf* I trust you on this, I really do.»

Chains: «Go on.»

Wolf: *holds pliers in front of him with both hands* «Is it hard? I hope it isn’t too hard to cut the wires.»

Chains: «No-no, don’t worry. I’ll be with you through the whole process. Cut a red wire. You know how red looks, do you?»

Wolf: «It looks like blood. First thing that comes to mind.»

Chains: «Yeah-yeah *opens an alarm box* There’s red, there’s green and yellow, but you have to cut a red wire. It’s riiight here.»

Wolf: «Tell my mother I love her.»

Chains: «No, we will not explode. It’s the alarm. Listen, just cut the red wire or I’ll do it myself.»

Wolf: *starts wiggling hands and legs* «It’s too much responsibility, oh boy, oh booy!»

Chains: «Just relax. Take a deep breath. Like this» *inhales* *exhales*

Wolf: *inhales, exhales* «Wires, they look like those bubblegum candies I had for breakfast. *stomach growls* I’m a little hungry. We should order pizza after this, after I’m done. Or a cake. A big cake with colored thingies inside. I like cakes. Do you eat cakes? Anyway.» *slowly attempts to cut the wire*

*Doctor runs out with a policeman*

Doctor: «It’s them, these sons of motherf***** pieces of sh*t! I’ve seen them before they put on these clown masks. You ain’t running away now! Police?»

Policeman: *pulls out a cigarette from the lips* «Hit the alarm, Doc.»

*Alarm activated*

*Gang puts on masks*

Dallas: «Oh, come on, come on! Sh*t! *headshots the Policeman with a revolver and drops Doctor on ground* *kicks Doctor repeatedly, breaking his nose* You just had to show up and ruin everything. Wolf. Wolf! What have you done? Hoxton! Go grab a Teddy Moo. Hurry! Quick!»

Wolf: «Hey-ey, I- I didn’t have time, I thought we had an unlimited amount of time!»

Dallas: «Get back to a drawer room and grab the stuff. Time for real sentry turrets to come in play. They’ve asked for it…»

Chains: *sets up two sentry turrets* «Alright, should keep the cops distracted. Hoxton, drop an ammo bag right here!»

Hoxton: *drops an ammo bag* «Here it is, boys. It’s here if you need it. I’m going to scout the place, see if there are any more cops. *sets up a drill*»

Dallas: «Chains, go help him. I suspect they are coming from those stairs near the elevators. I’ll stay here and guard this area with Wolf.»

Wolf: «Phew.»

Dallas: «How do you even tie your shoes, Wolf?»

Wolf: «I don’t. Don’t know how.»

Dallas: «Incredible.»

Chains: «There they are – the cops. They are coming from those stairs.»

Hoxton: «Just stay put and hold your ground.»

*Hoxton and Chains are fighting off cops coming from lower floors*

Dallas: «Hm. Gonna check them out, see if they are okay.»

Wolf: «Wait. Wait!»

Dallas: «I’ll be back in a short while, just have to check if they need help.»

Wolf: «No! Do you not hear them? Something isn’t right.» *looks up*

Dallas: «What? There is no one there. Stop being an idi-» *ventilation shaft breaks*

*5 SWAT Team members drop on Dallas and on each other*

*SWAT Members groan*

Wolf: «Hey, drop your guns, all of you!»

*SWAT Members are getting up and holding Wolf and Dallas at a gunpoint*

SWAT Member(1): «Kindly put your weapon down, son.»

Wolf: «I’ll shoot! I’ll shoot!»

SWAT Member(2): «Put it down! We got your friend here…»

SWAT Member(3): «You’ll get your head blown off if you move. You still have a chance to live. Think about it. You die right here and right now in cold blood or you… Live in prison. Safe. Not dead. Make your mother proud and abide the law.»

Wolf: «How… How does everyone know my mother?»

Bain: *speaking to Chains and Hoxton* «Guys, they got Dallas.»

Chains: «Things are heating up. We can’t live this spot.»

Dallas: «Argh! My f*cking spine. Help! Help!» *gets hit by a SWAT Member*

*Dallas spits out tooth*

Dallas: «What do you idiots think? I’ll just get a new one. Out of gold. *gets hit in the eye*

Wolf: «Please, please! He promised me toys.»

Hoxton: «Bain, there are like a hundred squad units and FBI agents storming in. They are coming from all directions, we are pinned down!»

Chains: «I don’t know if we can make it. I’m running out of ammo in my machinegun. If I stop controlling these entrances – they’ll flow in.»

SWAT Member(4): «I’m giving you 10 seconds to drop your gun.»

Wolf: «Please, no!»

SWAT Member(4): «One.»

Wolf: «No, no!»

SWAT Member(4): «Two. Three.»

Wolf: «No, no, no. No!»

Hoxton: «Well, f*ck me. I knew four guys is not enough for this job. We are screwed.»

SWAT Member(4): «Seven.»

Wolf: *heavy breathing*

SWAT Member(4): «Eight.»

Wolf: *an even heavier breathing*

SWAT Member(4): «Nine.»

Wolf: *moaning*

SWAT Member(4): «Aaand… Ten!»

Wolf: «Something has to happen at ten! Come o-» *gets shot* *drops on the floor*

Chains: «That’s it. No ammo.»

Hoxton: «We could unload their dropped guns, take ammo out and put it into our own magazines instead.»

Chains: «What? We have no time for that! Let’s head back.»

Hoxton: «Ha, I’m f*cking with you.*empty gun click* Tsk. Well f*ck me.»

*Chains gets shot multiple times*

Chains: *bleeds out and crawls to the elevators to hide from bullets* «I’m dying. Hoxton, help!»

Hoxton: «Some of that good old rum should do the trick.» *pours alcohol onto the injury*

Chains: *screaming* «What are you doing, you maniac? You could have taken an ammo bag instead!»

Hoxton: «Sh*t. I can hear them climbing the stairs. Now we are f*cked.»

*Policewoman comes up from behind and puts a pistol to Hoxton’s head*

Policewoman: «Dispatch. We got them.»

Bain: *flies a helicopter* «Guys, streets are panicking. Alarms and explosions everywhere. Almost looks coordinated. It’s like a warzone from up here. *jets are flying past Bain* Woah! Jets!»

*Floor is shaking at Mercy Hospital, lights are flickering for a few seconds before a complete shut-down*

*City power supply is temporarily impaired*

*Missile hits Mercy Hospital, rubble falls and obstructs the stairs*

Policewoman: *screaming* «Anyone! I request backu-» *disarmed and shot by Hoxton*

Hoxton: «You should have stayed at kitchen and j****d your brother off. Wh*re!» *cracks her skull*

*Hoxton drags Chains away from the stairs*

SWAT Member(5): *tries to find Wolf’s body in the dark* «He’s gotta be here somewhere. The guy we just shot?»

*Lights turn on*

SWAT Member(1): *holding Dallas’s doctor shirt* «What!? A shirt? I was holding a shirt? Cunning bastard!»

*SWAT Squad looks back and observes Dallas and Wolf turning sentry turrets to their direction*

Wolf: «Armor, b*tches! Fooled you.»

*Sentry turrets shoot the SWAT Members, leaving them dead*

Dallas: «A guy with no shirt is f*cking you guys up! How does that feel?»

Wolf: «Yes! Show them, Dallas, show them!»

*Smoke grenades drop from the vents in front of Dallas and Wolf*

Wolf: «Oh no. It ain’t good!»

*Hoxton and Chains run up to Dallas and Wolf*

Hoxton: «Aye, Bain said you needed our help.»

Chains: «You guys alright?»

Dallas: «What the f*ck, guys? Could have used your help like 5 minutes ago.»

Hoxton: «Yeah, well I-»

*Bulldozer runs out from the smoke*

Bulldozer: «Bulldozer coming through!»

Dallas: «Oh f*ck. Guys, shoot! Ah, sentries ran out of ammo!»

Wolf: «Do none of you guys have ammo?»

Hoxton: «I’ve got a better idea.» *pulls out a flash grenade and throws it into Bulldozer’s glass visor*

Bulldozer: «Wow, sh*t!»

*Bulldozer is flashed*

Wolf: «Disarm him, guys!»

*Gang runs up to Bulldozer, disarms him and collectively tries to bring him down by hopping on to his back*

*Shotgun slides under the stretcher*

Wolf: «Oh sh*t!» *tries to get the shotgun*

*Bulldozer falls*

Bulldozer: «What do you guys think this is, kindergarten? I’m not a trampoline, I’m a killing machine!» *throws the gang off*

Dallas: «Guys, hide!»

Bulldozer: *runs around with a crack in the glass and tries to find the gang* «Can barely see through this crack. It’s all because of you, idiots! *sees Dallas* Ah, there’s one!»

Dallas: *runs into a dentist cabinet* «*whispers* You got an appointment, a**hole.»

*Bulldozer follows Dallas into a dentist cabinet*

Bulldozer: «Now hide-and-seek? You are getting on my nerves! When I get you I’ll-» *gets pushed from behind by Chains onto a stretcher*

*Gang gathers up around the Bulldozer with Wolf threatening him by shotgun to stay on a stretcher*

Dallas: «Welcome to the club, buddy. What were you saying again?» *breaks Bulldozer’s glass visor with dental instruments*

Bulldozer: «No, please! I was always afraid of dentist since I was a kid!»

Hoxton: *tries to open Bulldozer’s mouth* «Open wide and say – Ahh…*opens Bulldozer’s mouth by force* Show him no mercy, Dallas.»

Chains: «Retractor should do the job.» *helps put a retractor on Bulldozer’s mouth*

Bulldozer: «Owohowooh! Aaeeh! *drooling*»

Hoxton: «Choo-choo little baby.»

Dallas: «Alright, now I’m done messing around. Chains – instruments. *takes pliers* I heard you, *chuckles* how scared you are of dentists. You shouldn’t be afraid any longer, you won’t see us messing with your teeth anyway.» *pulls out one of the Bulldozer’s eyes with pliers*

Bulldozer: *loud screaming*

Wolf: «Oh. Are those fried eggs? Can I have some? *eats Bulldozer’s eye right in front of his face* Crunchy, oh! And the ketchup, oh, *licks Bulldozer’s blood* oh mother, that’s too much ketchup, oh you are so generous, um. So tasty.»

Bulldozer: *terrified screaming* *crying*

Dallas: *takes dental excavator* «Don’t know what it’s called, uh, first day on the job, ha-ha. *starts digging Bulldozer’s teeth and damages his gums* More ketchup, Wolf. Just as you like.»

Wolf: «I think I’ll pass on this one.»

Chains: «Your loss, he-he-he!» *bumps Wolf with an elbow*

Dallas: *sigh* «Guys, I think we are wasting way too much time. Let’s just cut to the fun part.»

*Dallas pulls out all the remaining teeth from Bulldozer’s mouth*

Dallas: «And we are done!»

*Bulldozer is unconscious*

Wolf: «Yikes.»

Bain: «Team, come in. Are you there? You should really start working on getting these blood samples.»

*Gang uses a medic bag, ammo bag and approaches the patient*

Chains: «That looks like the one!»

Bain: «Remember, guys, these blood samples have to be successfully validated. There should be the testers somewhere. You know what to do. There’s a cooler in an elevator.»

*Gang collects the blood samples, presses the elevator button and puts blood samples into the testers while killing remaining SWAT members and FBI agents*

*Gang collects validated blood samples except the last one*

Chains: «Wolf, the room at the end is yours. We’ll be waiting for you in an elevator.»

Wolf: «Alright then. Come to me blood, come to me! *picks up a remaining validated blood sample* *walks out of the room* Alright guys, I think I got it! *gets downed by a cloaker* Help, guys! I need help!»

Cloaker: «Shut up. No one is coming to save you. Look at the mess you’ve done over here, scumbag. I’ll shove that baton up your-» *gets interrupted by a door breaking*

*Door breaks, as a naked, infected woman with long claws attacks cloaker*

Cloaker: «What the… *screaming* Help me!»

Wolf: «No way! *screaming in fear and runs away* What was that? This is crazy!»

*Wolf runs up to an elevator*

Wolf: *walks into an elevator* «Guys, guys, you won’t believe what I’ve just seen, I’ve seen-»

Hoxton: «Shut up, Wolfie. We need some quiet time after a day of hard work.»

Dallas: «Bain, you better have that chopper ready for us when we reach the roof!»

Bain: «Gang, listen. Things aren’t exactly going according to plan… *missiles explode the roof* *explosion is pressuring the elevator lights* I think you know what I mean. Military seems to be shooting civilians, but things are a little blurry. I doubt we are their primary target, but we can’t be too sure. Wait on the roof a little bit, I’ll circle around and collect you in a minute.»

Dallas: «Are you setting us up as targets, Bain? You better think of something!»

Bain: «Not like you have anywhere to go either way.»

*Elevator stops, light turns off*

Wolf: «It’s dark again! I’m so scared!»

Hoxton: *turns on a flashlight* «Quit yelling, wankers. Does anyone have an idea on what should we do next? Hey, does anyone have a crowbar to open that emergency hatch? *short pause* No one? Well, we are f*cked.»

Wolf: «Guys, there’s a ventilation above us.»

Dallas: «Get me up there, guys. I’ll pull you up one by one. Just grab my hand.»

*Gang helps Dallas get on top of an elevator*

*Dallas pulls Chains and Hoxton to top of an elevator*

Dallas: «I ain’t helping you, Wolfshmug. Ah, just kidding. First a cooler and then yourself.»

*Wolf gives Dallas cooler with blood samples*

Dallas: «Now grab my hand!»

*Elevator twitched loudly*

Wolf: «*falls on an elevator platform, stands up* Man, am I gonna have nightmares after this.
*hysterical breathing* *whispering in panic* That’s it, I’m never using an elevator again…»

*Dallas pulls Wolf out of an elevator, as the gang heads to Bain’s escape helicopter*

Bain: *drops a ladder* «Get in, guys. Hurry before the roof collapses or something.»

Chains: «I hate these ladders. So hard to climb!»

*Gang climbs into a helicopter*

Bain: «Alright, we are pulling out. I think we made it. Man, that was intense!»

*Helicopter flies away*

Wolf: «Goodbye, Bulldozer! I’m gonna miss your sweet gums!»

*Helicopter twitches*

Bain: «Sh*t, guys, you see that? Electrical sparkles, right above us, right there in the sky! The ones they were talking about on the news…*missiles flying past the helicopter* And we got jets still tailing us. They’re calling more of them every minute, sealing skies off. We are potatoes waiting to be cooked on a frying pan unless we hope for some kind of miracle. Don’t know, might have to do some crazy wiggling. I was Top-A in flying school back in the day and…

*Dialogue Interruption – Hoxton*

«Heyo, Big Bain! I hope your plan is as sleek and silk as that wig of yours I am about to rip out and send flying ten thousand feet to the ground. Remember what you said about Alex when he dropped that bag of C4 into the backalley? *short pause, Bain turns his head and looks at Hoxton* Tick-tock, tick tock, clock is ticking, you f*cking prick! *pulls rubber gloves* Show us how much of an ace you are, get to action fast!»

Bain: «Right. I’m turning the wheel, sailors, get ready for a rollercoaster!»

*Bain dodges an incoming missile, as the helicopter goes through an electrical field, taking them away from danger*

Bain: «We are in the cloud!»

*Lightning sounds gradually disappear as the helicopter comes out of clouds into the white fog*

Bain: «I think we’re good. Must have been some kind of anomaly. *looks around* «Hold on, the skies are bright. Where are we? Where are the jets? *checks wristwatch* What!? Impossible! Did we just travel in time? What happened?»

Hoxton: «Way to escape police pursuit and military…»

Dallas: «Guys, I’m not an expert, but I guess we just got transported into another timeline!»

Bain: «Ah, f*ck! This is outrageous. This is the craziest f*cking day!» *intense breathing*

Hoxton: «How about we take a little break? A couple of years should heal our wounds.»

Wolf: «Sounds great! Boy, I hope they like dubstep in current timeline at least…»

Commander Barry: «Can you believe that? Chopper disappeared in the cloud with no trace.»

Adrian: «Yeah. By the way, do you have the information on where the Gordon Freeman is? Some Samuel guy told me that he is headed to Nova Prospekt.»

Commander Barry: «Did you just say Samuel? Impossible. Guy died a few years ago, no way you are talking about him. We’ve seen his body. Eaten by the wolves, literally. Face completely chewed off. Must have been some real bad wolf dealing with him.»

Adrian: «But I’ve seen him. In the train… What?»

Commander Barry: «Are you sure he wasn’t lying? Could be one of those mercenaries trying to trick you. Hm. Strange. But how would they know Samuel? As for Gordon, we didn’t have such information. Don’t even know who would help him, seeing that Kleiner is out here in the forest with a bunch of coats.»

Adrian: «Weird.»

Commander Barry: «I don’t like those coats, neither do I like Gordon. Especially with Breen bringing their reputation to a minimum, now I don’t like them more than ever.»

???: «Is this Wallace Breen?»

Wallace Breen: «May be. Who’s calling?»

Codename Initiative: «The Initiative. Documents are accounted for, conditions are favorable. We are almost ready to begin the operation. Sample will be delivered to the facility shortly via a "black tram" system. You have men ready for pick-up?»

Wallace Breen: «Of course, of course. Same exact men you appointed. Are there any more actions needed from me apart from what we agreed with earlier? Are you ready to take me in?»

Codename Initiative: «You are getting ahead of yourself.»

Wallace Breen: «Excuse me, I’m just… I’m awaiting my promotion with great anticipation, I might have forgotten something important.»

Codename Initiative: «We still require a full list of attendants from the Black Mesa Training Facility, especially their scores. Is the same man still winning?»

Wallace Breen: «Gordon Freeman is still leading the charts, yes. Everything is smooth as butter. I’m sending a list to you right away.»

Codename Initiative: «Then he is a final candidate. Perfect. Get him access to an experiment.»

Wallace Breen: «Not Mossman then? *sigh* She’ll kill me. Alright, fine. Gordon it is then.»

Agent: «You see our man yet?»

Agent #2: «Let’s wait a little more. Too early to come in knocking just yet. They say he is never late.»

Agent: «Well, that is about to change then.» *laughs*

*Few minutes later*

Agent: «There he is, there he is, our agent in place better give him the right medicine.»

*Gordon Freeman orders a coffee and a hot dog in the canteen*

*Gordon Freeman sits alone and enjoys the food*

Agent #3: *speaks into a mustard dispenser with a built-in walkie-talkie* Everything is according to plan. My job here is done.»

Agent: «Alright, alright. *changes a walkie-talkie channel* Agents, have you gained access to his room?»

Agent #4: «Yes, camera watch guy was a b*tch though, went to sleep during the operation, had to send men down there to take care of him. Cameras in Level 3 Dormitories are now offline. We are ready to receive our target.»

Agent: «Perfect! Intercept the target. *turns off a walkie-talkie* Everything is set up. Now don’t look at him, we don’t want to raise attention. Freeman will be losing his sh*t in no time.»

*Gordon Freeman has a serious dizziness, spills coffee on his lab coat, stands up and goes back to dormitories*

*Agents are pretending to be Gordon’s friends*

Agent: «Gordon, are you not feeling well? Hey, you need a hand? Come on, let’s take him to his room. Poor guy must be stressed because of today’s experiment.»

Agent #2: «Don’t worry, we got him, he needs a rest.»

*Agents took Gordon Freeman back to his room*

Agent #4: «Sit down, motherf*cker. Stupid monkey is drooling on my hands. So, you had your meal, a**hole? *slaps Gordon’s face* Ha-ha!»

Agent: «Stay back, you imbecile. This is not what we are here for. Gordon has no idea what’s going on, even his nerd brain cannot pick up much information in such a state. The guy is a vegetable, let’s make sure we keep him that way. *injects a drug with a syringe into Gordon* Calm. Calm. That’s right. Alright guys, stay back. Me and him are about to have a little chat. Keep quiet now.»

*Psychological operations were conducted on Gordon Freeman under a heavy dose of drugs*

*Minutes later*

Agent: «He is on his way to Anomalous Materials. Look at him jumping in the tram like a fool. *laughs* He’ll be running around with his ADHD as if he has fire up his a**. Breaking stuff, pushing everyone around. Just someone we need. Alright, let’s wrap it up and head to evac.»

Commander Barry: «Anyway, I think you should head out. Oh, here’s a bunch of things you could use. *gives Adrian a bigger bag and binoculars* As for weapons – they are all yours! Grab what you need and get out.»

Adrian: «What is that over there?»

Commander Barry: «It’s an electronic tablet… Mine! But hey, if you wanna read something… Here, not sure if you heard that. This is the speech that Breen cretin had given the humanity shortly after the 7 hour war.»

Breencast #1:

Wallace Breen: «My name is Wallace Breen. You can call me Dr.Breen. I am now your new representative. Do not worry, I am not a politician. I am a scientist. I am just a man who puts all his time and effort for a better tomorrow. First I must clarify, I did not come to this position through illegal means, if anyone has any paranoid concerns. United Nations, along with many yapping politicians, no one was able to resolve this disaster. Many ways to prevent this horrific catastrophe have been analyzed. It required many checks and balances. All governments around the world, presidents, biggest names in charge of public attention, all of them tried what was in their power to put this devastation to an end. All in vain. Now, they ran, they abandoned their offices, hid themselves in those bunkers, their masks have dropped, a true face of current political climate is now more apparent than ever. You have seen how weak they really were behind what was shown to the public. How unorganized and incompetent those rich men you voted for, you’ve put your faith in, how fragile they turned out to be. They’ve left all of humanity dejected, crippled, driving towards it’s sorrowful dead end. Which only confirmed that the long-standing distrust in the governments worldwide was more than justified. Humanity has made a right choice. The only viable course of action has been taken. That is why I, a man not polluted by any form of corruption, was appointed as a frontman of all nations worldwide, an Administrator of Earth. I will take this post with greatest responsibility.

I must address current drastic change in our world, that the humanity had surrendered to Universal Union, an enemy force known as the «Combine». Let me quickly debunk certain inconsistencies with this narrative. I am aware that in all the haze of distress internet and mobile communications were paralyzed. You have been thrown those newspapers to the doorsteps of your houses by someone trying to cash in on all the events. Do not trust what is given to you by the money milkmen. Humanity did NOT surrender, I repeat, humanity did not and never will surrender. Humanity has only acquired a new color, it has reached an entirely new phase. A new chapter. The path is now paved for the humanity way beyond of what they were capable of.

You may believe. You may stand by disbelief. Facts do not and will not change. The «Combine» aren’t here to conquer or to put the humanity down. «Combine» is here to protect you. They are here to fix mistakes and imperfections that were our characteristic. They will get rid of all our problems, they will rebuild not only our homes, but also ourselves. The Incident that occurred is still echoing in your heads. No military, no government, no one can accomplish stable conditions only the «Combine» can reach. Stability and regulation is a key part of how they operate. Only they can keep you safe from all these monsters, explosions and uncontrollable disasters. They have a solution for everything. Stay with us. Stay safe. This broadcast will repeat.»

Breencast – Short Broadcast:

Wallace Breen: «This is Wallace Breen again, your Administrator. I have wanted to address a growing anxiety about means to reach me. You do not have to worry, I will not abandon you. I am here to stay for a very long time. If anyone wants to hear the latest news, forget about your state channels. I will always appear as a front breaking news if I have a message. No news broadcasts, channels can interrupt me. And they can concoct whatever they want. Let’s use the word "podcast" and my surname, Breen, as a combination to stay faithful to the «Combine» legacy. Breencast is the name of my podcast. You will normally hear latest news and changes in my messages to civilians of Earth here. Tune in and take care.»

Breencast #2:

I am now back to address newest concerns of Earth citizens. For anyone who for some strange sequence of events ignored my previous Breencast, I will repeat myself once, specifically for you. My name is Wallace Breen. I am an Earth administrator. I am here to get things done. Let’s get really organized this time.

Many news agencies, names of which I’m not even going to mention, let alone acknowledge their scribbles, have reported a massive worldwide demand for food, water, medicine, any form of basic human needs. A lack of such resources caused world hunger. Traffic jams preventing delivery of products to shops, roads blocked by crumbling buildings, a slowdown in agriculture, random teleportation of dangerous creatures, all kinds of combined disasters have all played their part in bringing society down to it’s lowest point. Such lowest point that groups of cannibals have appeared in poverty-stricken cities and towns. This is truly a horrific time we live in and that is exactly a reason why «Combine» have decided to come here and take action. Humanity cannot and will not survive on it’s own without external help. Confusion cannot be resolved any other way. Why do you think military was taken over? If all this time they have been truly so strong and powerful, how come they suddenly failed? That is because they could not provide help necessary. Their attempts to prevent these horrific creatures from killing millions of people seemed futile and they were. All militaries worldwide aborted their missions to contain lives, trying to save their own instead. Some even took civilian population hostage, causing civil wars and violence. I am leading this up to a total change in how guns, gun ownership is handled. Together we will stop these murderers, riff-raff ruling the streets and bring peace to every family on Earth. No more weapons, no more harm. Civilians will have to exist and interact with each other with no violence. No matter your nation, your skin color, you will not be oppressed just because someone thinks he is superior. That is why starting from today, a gun control act is in effect. To those peaceful citizens who value safety of their families, friends, close relatives or own lives at the very least, you will have to abide by these rules. If you own a weapon, legally or illegally, doesn’t matter, old laws don’t work, it is now your mandatory obligation to take all the weapons you have and bring them to the nearest «Combine Disaster Relief Point». Those who refuse and will be detected to carry a gun after this event is over or hiding it at your place of stay, will suffer merciless consequences.

Civilians who have lost money, partially or completely in the midst of the 7-hour war, those who struggle to find a safe place to live in, or inhabitants of high-risk areas where teleportation cataclysms are still very much active, all of you will be taken into an account. You will be escorted to the newly-established safe zones in cities not exposed to any kind of serious damage. Anyone can relocate to these safe zones at will. For now, it is only optional, but if disasters in high-risk areas still continue, those who find themselves unlucky will be forced to evacuate to the best available relocation centers.

I know how hard it has been. Billions of people have died in this disaster. Many people have lost their families. Let us, the «Combine» be your family.»

Breencast #3:

Wallace Breen: «Recently, certain unofficial news channels have allowed themselves to make bold statements about me and my reputation, specifically questioning my time and role at the Black Mesa Research Facility, linking me to the Incident that occurred there out of my will, accusing me of being an initiator of those events, building all kinds of thin and absurd theories, thus giving me a bad spotlight. Let me tell you that these channels and everyone in charge of them will suffocate in their own lies after my next reform lands. Despite how ridiculous those claims are, I feel it is my responsibility to give public the truth regarding my background, especially concerning my job as a former Black Mesa administrator, so we can all finally put slander of the bigmouth media to it’s rest. Undoubtedly, Black Mesa Incident had caused the biggest world cataclysm we’ve ever seen and that is combined with all other disasters that struck at the exact same time. What exactly caused these radical changes, whoever was in charge of said events is still unknown. Black Mesa Incident, however, was nothing more but an illustration of how big ambitions can be and how catastrophic the end result can turn out. There is only one man to blame and that is not me. Each and every single decision, experiment or research was controlled directly by me and was done under my supervision UNTIL the day of the Incident. Just when I had a business meeting with my colleagues that let me remind you, I was broadcasting live, some utterly insane employee had decided that it would be a good time for the end of the world to occur. Whether it was intentional or some malfunction within the lab is a question no one but HIM can answer. I had great faith in Gordon Freeman. Back then no one would have thought that such a deceitful snake could infiltrate our facility with such vile plans. Gordon Freeman, wherever he might be, is truly, without a doubt, a despicable man. Oh, I’m sure he is listening and biting his elbows in envy that it is not him speaking to humanity right now, but me, a guilt-free servant of humanity. Now look at how things have changed. Only goes to show you that an honest work, innocence that one man can possess can grant him power and respect. That one man is me. Truth has once again prevailed.

Ahem. Jumping further ahead, my next reform comes into force tomorrow. All your news channels, talk shows that outlived the 7-hour war, bid farewell. You have plenty of time to pack your bags and go home. Humanity or what’s left of it, everyone, even the «Combine», we are all fed up with your pathetic, rotten agenda. I’m sure you’d agree with me. In the world it is today, there is no place for politics of any kind and we’ve learned that. It was a very valuable lesson, that for some reason, many ignored. Politics is a fraud, it’s just another covert way to exploit a general population by making up all kinds of pretentious excuses. Those dishonorable people who strive for that kind of power get there by stabbing you in the back, getting your money like natural thieves they are and then setting up a system around you that only an ignorant with shut eyes would believe in and support. Today they promise you riches, a good life, peaceful conditions to exist in, but tomorrow, the system will deem you insignificant as you fall to the bottomless pit. Think of what and who you support. Government is condemned to corruption and nothing else. Look around you, this is the result, pain and suffering. I know it better than anyone. Us, those who actually do the job, together, we’ll pull you out of that dark pit you’ve spent most of your life in. Enough with those imbeciles on the TV! That is why from now on, you’ll never see them again. All TV channels will broadcast educational programs that would help you better shape and understand the work we do, how important the human race is to us and the potential we shall all work for. These programs will teach you everything you need to know about «Combine» and our goals. Time does not wait. Seize the time.»

Breencast #4:

Allow me to compliment the «Combine» forces for a very productive and excruciating beyond any measure work they have done to secure humanity from the disasters worldwide. It means a lot for men, women, their children stuck in seemingly hopeless situations without any resources to stay alive. Combine is a helping hand. However, their help is not limited to just food and supplies. They keep you from these dangerous abominations that still continue to spawn in some areas, they also keep you from the hands of the terrorists, robbers, thieves and all kinds of savages who just couldn’t help but to take the advantage of chaos, distress that the disasters provoked to rob banks, stores, to go on massive killings and kidnappings. Without Combine, world was out of control, no one had time to worry about children starving on the streets as police, military SUVs, tanks and all kinds of careless individuals kept recklessly driving them over, driving through residential areas with no thought in mind only inflating the size of the catastrophe and making everyone’s lives hundred times worse. That’s why it was necessary to confiscate these toys they’ve been using to keep everyone safe. Safe from their own clouded minds. If not Combine, then who? Who will pull the humanity from that abyss and clean up the mess that Black Mesa Incident had caused? Combine is exactly what the humanity needed, a replacement of corruption and greed that is so typical of political systems, presidents and their administrations, no longer will they be able to live without any repercussions. Think about how shocked they’ll be when they find themselves forced to do manual labor in factories for the rest of their lives. They’ll be utilized to do something actually useful. My next two decisions cover precisely that.

First, as a measure against criminals and robbers that spread in certain cities to this day or those rebels wanted by the Combine, all civilians on Earth are now obliged to wear uniforms provided to them in newly established Combine banks. All civilians will be identified and implanted with the tracking device to keep track and count of humans still living in certain high-risk areas, so the Combine personnel can escort you out of these areas if necessary. Sirens and pre-recorded messages will be broadcasted to note civilians of the area’s current status. If an area is considered "unsuitable for life" civilians still remaining in such areas must report to the nearest Combine settlement for rescue. Ignoring such an event will make whoever is hiding there hostile and a subject for sterilization. Response will be immediate. Law-abiding civilians will not only be granted privileges such as food and water, but will be given flats in blocks of relocation centers. You will be treated fairly. To program you, the Civilians as Combine allies, along with a uniform and a tracking device, your arm will be marked with a bar code and a «Combine» logo to encourage you to stay faithful to our forces. Cameras will be established in blocks of relocation centers that would scan the microchip on your arms to then let you in or out of blocks you are permitted to visit.

Second, the catastrophe worldwide has made most of the places on Earth unsuitable for life, meaning most of the resources are now gone. «Combine» have already reacted to that and are now draining resources needed for our unified interests. When in relocation centers, each and every citizen will have their own role and will have to do a job assigned to them. You’ll get acquainted with the schedule upon arrival. Be ready for long days of work from 6 a.m. It will also be mandatory to visit everyday «Combine» marching at least 3 days a week during breaks as part of our educational program.

I know how devastated you might be. But it’s up to us, the Combine and the civilians to rebuild our lives for the times ahead.»

Breencast – Short Broadcast #2:

Wallace Breen: «I’m happy to announce that we have gathered millions of civilians in our relocation centers in a short period of time. Those outside of the relocation centers are finding themselves in a very hard spot. So, you have been given home, you have been given food, work, what’s next Dr. Breen? Well… We have new priorities, we must make these areas more comfortable for everyone. Comfortable both for the Combine performing their duty and the civilians. That is why I’m introducing a «suppression field» starting from today. All women currently residing in relocation centers must report to the nearby hospitals for analysis and procedure immediately. What the «suppression field» is you will be educated in those hospitals in private. Do not worry. It will help all women and make families a lot happier. If you have a son younger than five years old, it is mandatory you bring them with you. Now go to hospitals with a smile and a good mood, Combine personnel will be extra happy to see you smile as you walk into the cabinet.»

Breencast #5:

Wallace Breen: «I think we are hitting the biggest streak of tears and cries in the history of humanity done in one day, let alone an entire week. Humanity has made a great progress. If anyone tried their best to abstain from crying, cry it out, it will get a lot easier, trust me. *short and quiet giggle* To those who have no family and are unaware of what happened, let me read a letter from an Angry Mother:

Dr. Breen you son of a… uh, I’ll try to avoid strong language in this letter, actually, I’ll just rephrase certain moments to keep it more in line with our family friendly standards. Ahem. Dr. Breen you son of a… uh-huh. My daughter, my beautiful daughter, my priceless delight, what have you done, you relentless piece of… You’ve ruined our families, you’ve killed all our hope, it was our only meaning of life, blah-blah, my husband killed himself, blah-blah, what a sorrow, I have nothing left, nothing to live for, uh-huh, why do you have to do this? I dressed my daughter up as if it’s a prom, cleaned and ironed her clothes, got her hair done, this and that, we went for a walk smiling, we were laughing together, joking with each other, here she just lets her emotions talk. As we walked into the cabinet… Life has changed, it changed forever, oh, is that a teardrop on this letter? Hm. I sat on a chair, she sat on my knee as the Combine Soldier turned on a TV. From there, I’ve realized coming here was a mistake. As I was sitting and watching this program my tears kept dropping, I was screaming, I couldn’t believe that, I was holding my daughter so-so tight, I couldn’t let them do this to her, they snatched her out of my hands so quickly… I didn’t want to live, I wanted them to kill me with her, I couldn’t watch this happening. The first thing they’ve done, they’ve plugged her into some sort of machine, what is that, what is that machine, her eyeballs popped, they kept pouring radiation on to her skin, her hair kept falling out then they put her into some sort of a capsule. Why? What happened to my daughter? What have you done you… Alright. From here it’s just inappropriate language. I think viewers already got the idea.

Let’s address what and why. First, put your emotions aside, cast them out. I know how hard it is, but it’s all a part of a plan. Life will now be a lot easier for each and every one of you. You should be happy. You are all angry, you have every right to be, after all, your children have been permanently taken from you. But understand that, soon you will accept it, not that you have any choice. You will stop letting emotions speak, you will clench your fist and you’ll accept it. From there everything will be a lot easier not only just physically, but mentally. You are not going to have to worry what your children will eat for breakfast, you are not going to worry about them any longer. They are in safe hands. All your children younger than 5 will be put through a surgical procedure and serve Combine interests from now on. They are the perfect supply for what we need, a useful tool to make everyone’s lives a lot better. It won’t matter to you what they’ll be used for and why, just know this, your children are doing our Combine soldiers a favor. Our high-ranking Combine soldiers will get better armored suits in the future and they’ll bring a lot of pleasure to them as part of their integrated system, in their spare time of course. It will be a lot easier for Combine soldiers to operate in the field after that. This is just one of the things that your children are going to be utilized for. There are many more I’m not going to divulge. Regardless, be proud that your children are serving the Universal Union to their advantage. It can also help us in keeping population reduced to a minimum just to make our relocation centers a lot more balanced and less crowded.

If after hearing this information you now have a burning desire to join Combine in their ranks, then go ahead, do it. You get a lot more bonuses that way. You’ll get better food rations, you’ll get guns, weapons, all of that. You will also have a lot of control over the citizens. After all, what’s there left to do when you have no children? Just do it, we need more soldiers in our ranks. You will also, at some point, be able to travel with us through the dimensions. And it will be a great time. I will explain more of our goals and accomplishments in the future. Thank you for being a part of what defines Combine.»

Adrian: «Uh-huh. Say, Barry, do you have anything to eat?»

Commander Barry: «Well, we have a lot of eggs in a refrigerator.»

Adrian: «Eggs… F*ck.»

Commander Barry: «What, PTSD? Hey, it’s not like that anymore, relax.»

Adrian: «Alright, fine.» *eats eggs with tea and leaves*

«Strange. He said that Samuel is dead and Gordon Freeman isn’t anywhere near Nova Prospekt. Could it be just a warning by whoever that Samuel guy was?

Around here not many people really care about me that much. Most of them don’t even know me, about 50 people in the bunker corridors, ones I’ve never seen before. It could be they joined after I’ve been gone. All these people are disgusting.»

Harris: *washes floor and cries* «Uuuh, ahem, uuh.» *moans*

Adrian: «What’s wrong, Harris? Not from the heart’s will I suspect.»

Harris: «Don’t bother me, please. It’s the Captain… He makes me do this every day. Talk some sense into him, please. I’m so tired.» *pushes Adrian away*

Henness: «*walks to Adrian* Hey, Harris, you shouldn’t push him. Anyone here can f*ck you up.»

«Great, another black man. Henness, his name is. Unlike Harris, this one seems calm.»

Henness: «Adrian, where have you been? Actually, if you are not comfortable answering that question, how about get out of this sweaty sh*thole.»

*Adrian and Henness walk outside*

Henness: «Nice. Fresh air. I hate staying in that dump. Everyone hates each other. Anyway, we should take a walk, say, you mind visiting a bunch lab coats? They aren’t far. You should check what these crazies are up to. Hold on, almost forgot, let’s visit that old granny and bring her some fruits and vegetables. Here, take this box right here.»

«F*ck. Here we are. What am I gonna tell him, that I blew her head off with a shotgun and shoved her brain pieces into a jar with jam? I think I’m just gonna play along or just whack the sucker when we get there.»

Adrian: *takes a box full of vegetables* «Alright, let’s roll.»

Henness: «*walks with Adrian* I like it here. Calm, quiet. Kinda dangerous. Those mercenary folks have been picking us off one by one, so stay on your toes. As for that granny… She is kind, always so happy when we bring her food and things she can cook stuff with. So warm. We bring her resources every week and she gets so emotional, hugs everyone who comes by. She was very depressed after her husband, well… Let’s just not talk about this.»

*Adrian and Henness get into a house*

Henness: *drops box on Adrians feet* «What?»

Adrian: «Ah, my legs, you f*cking pr*ck!»

Henness: «I don’t understand… She was fine just few hours ago… *starts crying* Wake up. Please. *pokes her corpse* Oh no, her head. Blown to pieces. Who could do that to her? What kind of senseless monster would kill that poor woman?» *holds his own head and keeps crying*

Adrian: «Henness… *grabs his shoulder* Henness, for f*cks sakes! She is old, she would have died anyway. Why do you even give a sh*t? Don’t make this so emotional, you are making this too dramatic.»

Henness: «*speaks whimpering* «It was fine until you came along! It was you! It’s you who killed her. *runs back to the bunker* I’m gonna tell them it’s you! I don’t trust you, Adrian.»

Adrian: «Here we f*cking go.» *shoots Henness in the back*

Henness: *falls on ground* «Why, Adrian? *coughs on blood* Why did you have to do this? *spits blood into Adrian’s face* She didn’t do anything to anyone. She was innocent! Do you not understand?» *cries*

Adrian: «*wipes the face* You son of a b*tch! *breaks his head with a wrench* Do it again! *keeps hitting him with a wrench* Spit into my face again, you n****r. *cracks his skull* Screw you! I’m gonna find these lab coats myself.»

*Adrian walks away*

«I can’t believe this. What an idiot. He didn’t know it was me, he couldn’t. Even if someone would have killed her, someone who isn’t me, he would do this anyway. What a moron.»

*Few minutes later*

Adrian: «There it is. Something that looks like a lab. Not sure.» *walks inside*

Dr. Rosenberg: «Walter, over here, come take a look at the radar. Readings tell this is someone we’ve never seen before. No data on that life form. Could be one of the mercenaries. *whispers* Hide.»

Adrian: «*speaks loudly* Anyone home?»

«This place is crazy. So someone did preserve some technology and really well. Tubes, vials, strange devices. But where are the people?»

Adrian: «Anyone?»

*Walter hits Adrian in the head with a chair weakly, Rosenberg sprays Adrian with a pepper spray*

Adrian: «My eyes… I’m friendly! I’m with Barry. Please, stop!»

Dr. Walter: «Ah, really?» *grabs glasses*

Dr. Rosenberg: «Shephard! Barry told us about you. Excuse us for a rough welcome, we are all disconcerted from recent events… Kleiner? We have guests!»

Dr. Kleiner: «*checks the drawer* Oh, you patsy little creature, where are you? Yes, yes, I hear you, Rosy, I hear you very well! Oh, you don’t expect some mercenary to risk coming here alone and through a main entrance? Uh, you are naïve to assume they are that inconsiderate. So distracting, all of you! I’m still puzzled on how can a creature that blubbery always find ways to hide from his favorite man in the world…»

Dr. Rosenberg: «Well, Kleiner, perhaps you shouldn’t have cluttered our whole lab with useless few decade old junk we don’t even use. Take out some trash for a start, can barely even move here. Ah, Welcome to our lab! A place where we are so busy, we can’t even find time to take out a trash. We are practically swimming in here, Kleiner… I’m losing my patience! Do you have any standard at all?»

Walter: «Rosenberg, please. We are on the same terms and Kleiner is not here for long, you know that. Until Barney or military men are going to take care of the signal jammers, the only thing we can do is sit here quarreling, just as we always do.»

Dr. Rosenberg: «See, Adrian? They are unbearable… It was a mistake to share a lab with Kleiner and Walter. They just get under your skin. No wonders Barney doesn’t hang around here.»

Dr. Kleiner: «Rosy, did you… Did you see my pet, by any chance? Lamar? He doesn’t come visit me often recently and…»

Dr. Rosenberg: «Oh, please! Give me a break! Come here, Adrian, I’ve got something to show you.»

Dr. Kleiner «*whispering* I knew it is you, Rosenberg. You won’t hide him from me any longer.»

Adrian: «What’s the deal?»

Dr. Rosenberg: «Here, take a look at this, Shephard. This right here *picks up a jammer* is a kind of jammer the Combine use to block off radios, certain waves that could be used by us to our advantage, even the teleportation. Just few weeks ago we were ready to send Kleiner’s toys to City 17 on behalf of Eli Vance. We were planning to send him after that, but then suddenly, all our teleporters stopped functioning. We couldn’t contact anyone, still can’t. But we have a device right here that broadcasts all known pulsars from where the jamming comes, I even printed a map so that it would be easier to find. Look at the monitor. They are located in the old Combine outposts we assumed to be abandoned, but only recently they went active again. Grab the map and… What time is it, Walter?»

Dr. Walter: «It’s 10 pm.»

Dr. Rosenberg: «I think tomorrow would be an appropriate time to make your move. Do you need that jammer as a reminder of how it looks?»

Adrian: «No, I’m fine.»

Dr. Rosenberg: «Great. See you later then. Now go back to the bunker or wherever you stay. We are busy. If you want, you can look around for a little bit.»

*Adrian walks around the lab*

Adrian: *finds head in a jar* «What the…»

Head in a jar: «Uh. Hi! Do you have an idea, a guess of who I am?»

Adrian: «I’m not sure.»

Head in a jar: «*sigh* It’s Jeff. Oh, that guy who owned Amazon. You know me? Please, don’t tell me you don’t… You know, if you don’t know who I am, you better leave, now. You are making me embarrassed. Why are you smiling, uh, don’t laugh at me, hey, I wasn’t a joke back in my days.»

Adrian: «*laughs* Doesn’t that suck to have your head stuck in a jar? With all that money, what, you couldn’t afford to get a body that isn’t overweight and doesn’t fail on you? That’s a shame.»

Head in a jar: «Hey, what are you talking about, it isn’t why I’m here. After I left Amazon, all I could do is get on with my life. That led me into this jar. Somehow I’m not surprised.»

Adrian: «You had billions. You were technically free to do something that isn’t... That.»

Head in a jar: «Freedom? Ha, don’t get me started on "freedom". All my transactions were tracked. It’s not like I could just throw money around places, you just become a slave of that large machine. We had people a lot poorer who had more privileges than the rich men could ever dream of. You just get tangled in that web with no hopes of getting out. Ridiculous, but that’s just how it has been back in the days. You think having billions of dollars in America and actually LIVING is easy? No, it’s like you’re always held at a gunpoint. Here, let me give you an example so you get an idea of how it works. Brhh. Money is a limiter. It restricts people. Now if you are too poor it limits you from doing nearly anything. And if you are too rich? It’s exactly the same thing! The only thing that’s different is that you get a p***y once in a while. But who needs a p***y, when it is you who is someone’s b*tch? I think you get my idea. Come on, stop staring at me. Man, I was embarrassed to even order a pair of underwear.»

Adrian: «You had friends, contacts? At least someone who cared enough about you to tell you that doing something like that is borderline stupid?»

Head in a jar: «So much bad irony coming from you. You are so fake. Well… I’m not here to share secrets, but the contacts I had, well, in the last days before I’ve been plugged into that network my contacts with the so called «contacts» I had, I know how ironic that is, well, they got blurred. They just disappeared and left me. It’s not like we were too close or anything like that, but they regulated rich men like us, kept us constrained in a certain way. I guess they had bigger businesses to worry about, like creating circumstances to destroy the entire world. Easier to control people when there aren’t too many, but I wasn’t really into that whole kabal thing myself. They were and practiced many ideas over the years. Either way, my hands were tied, I couldn’t do anything about it anyway. Life is a b*tch. Amazon. What a mess. What a bloated mess it has been. Not gonna lie, it was fun. And exhausting.»

Adrian: «What else can you tell me? Like what do you have on your mind being here, sealed off from the outside world?»

Head in a jar: «Nobody listened! Oh, nobody did! How do you explain this to a public, the press? That you don’t just suddenly «become successful» or rich because you’ve been «successful» or rich. No, you dumb patriot, your son will not become a big name in the league of corny politicians, he will not change the world. Those ignorant people, they can keep dreaming, live those simple lives. They are not going to believe into anything that is not beneficial to them. Funny world we live in, funny world. Oh wait, those people are already dead, yeah. Oh. That sucks. Not really. Back to real time then…»

Adrian: «Must be hard. Say, do you know anything about Breen? Wallace Breen?»

Head in a jar: «Wallace Breen… I remember him from somewhere. I can’t quite recall where he is from. Could be one of those elite douchebags, not counting me of course. He probably was a different kind of elite. And a different kind of douchebag.»

Adrian: «Like were you at museum before this mess happened or something?»

Head in a jar: «I wasn’t really a museum, many people came up to me for the idea generator that I am and despite not wanting having anything to do with them, to interact with world filled with complete imbeciles and I had a fair share of that at Amazon, I know I’m talking about it in gloomy colors, I was still glad to be a useful mind even after my service. Unless that’s a wishful thinking. I never had a real talent, I was more of a tool to get people into that sphere of work and do a job they are good at so we can be productive. Most of the decisions went through me. Now? Looking at the world it is today, I can’t say I’m glad to still be alive, but I admit, it is better than having mental morons coming up to me to laugh at me with provocative questions when I’m in that jar and poke a freaking stick in my face. Yes, they were quickly taken care of, but it all grew on me, I felt like a piece of furniture. And you know, we had that green urban campus when I was at Amazon, we were hanging out, going in for a joy ride, I reached a peak of my prime back then, it was fun and all, but my enthusiasm for extending my life period while I’m in a jar quickly faded away when I realized what it’s like to have no body available to you, just how terrible it sounds and feels. Your brain takes a substantial amount of time to readjust, you always feel that paradox, here I had my body when I went to sleep and then I wake up in a jar with no pain whatsoever, no recollection of how it happened, yes, I had to sign up for that, but just that feeling at a back of my head, when I weren’t there when the operation occurred, I wake up with just… Nothing. It is terrifying, I can tell you that. That was my experience. I was also crying when nobody is looking, a lot. Well, I was crying inside my head, feeling insane amount of anger and regret, I couldn’t really feel my tears, the environment here isn’t exactly dry. That’s probably a good thing, I’d need lab coats standing there wiping my face 24/7. Aaand all the spit from nutjobs who envy me.»

Adrian: «Alright, screw it. I’m just gonna get off. This is outrageous.» *walks back to a bunker*

*As soon as Adrian comes back to a bunker, it gets dark*

Commander Barry: *walks out of the bunker* *whistles into a sport whistle* «Wrap it up, everyone! Go to sleep right now! Stop plumping on that beer, fat*ss!» *shoots the bottle with a revolver*

Generic Soldier: «I’ll kill this guy one day.»

Commander Barry: *keeps whistling* «Oh, Adrian! So, have you talked to these nutjobs? Look at that, they’ve given you a map! That’s great. Tomorrow we have a visitor, you should come take out these jammers or whatever it is with him, perhaps I’ll send some of the other folk with you to take them out. Should be easy. Also, Adrian. There are those berries growing around here, but only at night. You can contact vortigaunts with them if things get bad. You see it glowing right there? Moon is low enough for them to show up.»

Adrian: «Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m familiar with them. You want me to go grab these berries right now, or?»

Commander Barry: «You do whatever you want, Adrian. Just don’t stay out too late. We are getting up early tomorrow. Oh, and jammers. How many of them are there?»

Adrian: «Only three.»

Commander Barry: «Do they appear only at a certain time and weather? Ha, I’m just kidding.» *walks back into a bunker*

*Adrian searches for berries*

«You know what, somehow the world had become a better place. I’m not in any way supporting Combine, but the world we had before the 7-hour war, well, whether you shoot yourself in the head as the only way to retain your sanity or you just jump directly into the cesspool becoming one with the insanity.»

*Owl hoots two times*

Adrian: «There they are, berries I’ve been looking for. Glowing. Dulce dormitaverunt baca if I remember correctly. Who came up with that stupid name…» *plucks off a few berries and heads back into a bunker*

*Adrian goes to sleep*

Commander Barry: *whistles into a sport whistle* «Wake up!»

*Collectively Screaming – Yes, sir!*

Commander Barry: «Hurry up! Adrian, come on, we gotta finish this sh*t already. Get yourself dressed up.»

Adrian: «*yawn* Dressed as in dress or… What’s the rush anyway?»

Commander Barry: «You want it like that? No, nothing like that, not yet. Listen, we could sit here and chat for a few hours, daydreaming about the past or the universe, go into details about who measured your p***s size the other night or who banged your mother in the closet when you were just an unsuspecting youngster in front of TV, watching Mickey Mouse and other kids’ cartoons, but we have no time for that, our time frame is way too limited. Who cares anyway, right?» *touches Adrian with an elbow*

Adrian: «*yawn* Excuse me, what?»

Commander Barry: «See? As I was saying. No one cares.»

Adrian: «*looks at the underwear* Oh no, I think I’ve just…»

Commander Barry: «Oh, well… *pats Adrian on a shoulder* It’s never too late, it never is. Could have been due to extensive measure comparison session, eh, all our new recruits go through the same procedure yearly, you know that. It’s normal. Good thing you slept like a little puppy, I hope you had really sweet dreams today. If you want to check the statistics, they are in a diary.»

Adrian: «What diary?»

Commander Barry: «Uh… You don’t know? *looks around* No one told you? But I’ve been keeping detailed statistics in a diary since the first day of your service duty. In your diary. Hey, why are you looking at me? I don’t keep diaries, I’m not a girl or some gay. Pfft. Why do you think my attitude towards you is different than to the other boys? You are the… Uh… Girliest boy in the room. He-he. Listen, I didn’t want to disappoint you, but I had to reveal that to you some day.»

Adrian: *starts crying*

Commander Barry: «Hey… Eh. *throws arms around* Come on, now. *speaks in a dimunitive tone* It’s okay. *sits with Adrian* *takes out a drink called "Fruit Nanny"* Don’t be a baby. Tss. Open wide. *feeds Adrian* Does anyone have a lollipop?»

Generic Soldier: «*hands out a lollipop* Here, sir.»

Adrian: «You are a monster.»

Commander Barry: «Oh, isn’t that cute. An egg-shaped lollipop! It’s yours now. *puts it into Adrian’s bag* Alright. Does anyone here have a spare underwear that no one needs?»

Generic Soldier(2): «Here. I’ve got some old speedos I used to wear in a swimming pool few decades ago.» *throws them into Adrian*

Commander Barry: «Mmm, nice. So, mind if we take a look? Yep. Change your underwear right in front of us. Do it.»

Adrian: *changes underwear to speedos while crying* «There. *sob* Happy?»

Generic Soldier(3): «Hey, look, he has an erection! Ha-ha!»

*Others in the room are collectively laughing*

Adrian: «I hate you!»

Commander Barry: «It’s for your own benefit. Now look, look at how your forms are outlined. Really brings out your shape. Anyway, up and get outside. Oh, don’t forget to dress up.»

*Minutes later Adrian walks outside*

Commander Barry: «I knew you’d make it, Adrian. Look, we have a friend here, his name is…»

Barney: «Name is Barney. And this one must be Adrian Shephard? Is it? Yeah, Barry told me about you. Gotta say, not all details were appropriate, but hey, I had my own fun back in my days. I remember when I stole a bike from some businessman there in U.S, went cycling, circled around a few blocks with him chasing me and later came back, sneaking into his house, while he was still losing his mind, trying to contact cops, find where I was, when all this time, he couldn’t realize, I was playing with boobs of his volleyball loving wife. Now that’s a big score! She wasn’t too fond of him, that I could tell. Took a while for him to realize why she wasn’t picking up his phone. Yeah, I came out with a shiner, a really big one, but that was worth it.»

Commander Barry: «And then you used to be a security guard in Black Mesa?»

Barney: «Yep, after that, I went forward with my career. Easy to flirt with girls when you are a security guard in a confined space. Gordon didn’t know what I was up to really. To this day he is still wondering why do I keep referencing that beer. Little does he know, it was for an amount of girlfriends I stole from under his nose and I’m never even planning on paying him up with beer. *laughs* Can you believe it? Really tricked that four-eyed poindexter nut. Either way. To think, I was fightning you guys back at Black Mesa. Now look at how things have changed. Good thing you all came to your senses after that senseless killing you did.»

Commander Barry: «Well, there’s still an element of that, of course, ha-ha, but hey, glad you are on our side.»

Barney: «So, Shephard, are you ready to take out these signal jammers? Don’t worry, this one should be quick. First we take out these jammers, clear some outposts controlled by some wacky mercenaries and after that, we can safely escort Kleiner to City 17, just as Eli Vance ordered. Ah, almost forgot, we need to get to that radio beacon that you see on the background, climb it and manually reconfigure it. It needs doing so that the signal with the White Forest and other refugee controlled areas will be finally under the hand of that primary outpost. Without the communication, we will not be able to share recent plans, data or properly smuggle weaponry to our friends. With that, let’s finally head out. Keep your hand on a trigger, there are a lot of angry mercenaries trying to eliminate us using all kinds of methods. It’s open hunt out here. Look out for traps, mines, booby traps… Not that kind of booby traps that I pictured, but you get the idea.»

Adrian: «Sh*t, fine. If that can really help…»

Barney: «Oh it can, son, it can. I can do the job myself, all you need to do is to provide covering backup. I survived worse than a bunch of mercenaries who can’t even tie their shoes, sent to kill innocent people.»

Adrian: «Sounds a lot like me.»

Barney: «Yeah, well. I’d argue, you come from the same roots. No offence.»

Adrian: «None taken. You must be right, just don’t question my decisions if they are not in line with yours.»

Barney: «I am a maniac too, believe it or not. A lot of responsibility is on my shoulders, however, which is why I can’t just give up and slaughter whoever I want. If I could, I would have just killed these lab coats, had they been useless or left them there to die, especially after they’ve gotten us to the mess humanity still can’t recover from to this day. They were, however, an only chance of me getting out of that facility, so I had to be somewhat decisive and careful on what should I do with my actions.»

Adrian: «Yeah, probably would have done the same thing.»

Barney: «Ha, I had you there, buddy. Was only testing to get more of your character. Just don’t kill innocent people and don’t do anything unreasonable. We need you just as you need us.»

*Adrian and Barney are heading towards the Combine fortification to take out the first jammer*

Barney: «You know, under other circumstances I would have just said "f*ck it", let Kleiner do whatever he so much wants, killing himself alone in that lab, doing useless BS with that stupid headcrab pet Lamar, but I just have no other choice. Have to pretend to be all fluffy and that I share the same interest these lab coats do, when in reality, I can’t stand these guys. Kleiner is just pathetic, can’t talk to that guy, can’t have beer with him, can’t do nothing with that moron. Gordon doesn’t talk much, I wonder where he is, Rosenberg is whining 24/7, still can’t accept that most of the research he had in Black Mesa flew up in air. Either way, they are all whiny, but in a different way. No one in the resistance has guts to go undercover deep within enemy territory. There were other guys, they weren’t too careful, played their cards right into Nova Prospekt or the Citadel, fate I don’t even want to express. When they found out about our little game we played, leading them by the nose for so many years, they increased control measures. They are planning to go way further, that’s why we are on a tight schedule here, as soon as we get Kleiner to City 17, I’m not heading back into the forest, my play would get way too obvious, especially now that metrocops are getting a limited access. With Kleiner in City 17, radio communication established, it would be way easier to plan our next move without me needing to head out miles into the wilderness.»

Adrian: «Aren’t there signal jammers in City 17 too?»

Barney: «As of now that City 14 is still a center of Breen’s "administration" or how he calls it, they haven’t set them up in other relocation centers just yet, which is also a reason why we have to hurry. I have intel that City 14 is almost done for, people are migrating to City 17 because back there, the living conditions are simply insufferable due to air exchange factories run around the city. Looks like they are pulling the plug on that whole "bigger business" and now drained enough resources, enough meaning almost all there is, so that they can focus on leaving Earth and move somewhere else. There is almost nothing left, which is why this forest is a treasure we have to guard with all forces we have. Still wondering, why the Combine prefer distancing themselves from that part of the world, not like there is anything they can’t handle. Really strange stuff.»

*Half an hour later*

Barney: «There it is, our first outpost. Be glad we don’t have to clear all outposts in some OCD-induced madness fever dream. If we take down all three jammers, it’s not you who’s going to be climbing the radio beacon, I don’t bet you know anything about the technical stuff, so don’t worry about it. Therefore just follow my lead, let’s sneak into that first base and locate the jammer.»

*Adrian and Barney sneak into a Combine outpost through a small hole*

Adrian: «These guys, wow, they have way better armor than we do. Are they drinking?»

Barney: «They hardly have any brain, I can guarantee that. No armor can help these guys with their addiction. This one should be fairly easy. Look at them, fools play poker, they hardly have anyone guarding the place. Keep an eye out for something that looks like… Eh, looks like a signal jammer, basically.»

Adrian: «How about we just light these guys on fire? It’s open space, we can’t sneak around here.»

Barney: «Good idea. There aren’t many of them here, so if you’re ready to cause havoc…»

Adrian: «After you.»

Barney: «Fine. I say, let’s catch them by surprise and find the right moment to strike them down. Sneak a bit closer, behind that pile of boxes next to the table. Gonna toss a grenade to light these suckers up, just you watch.»

Mercenary(1): «F*cking… Do you even know how to play poker? Do you? *hits a table in anger*»

Mercenary(2): «Nah, I’m just here for a drink! Ha-ha-ha!»

Mercenary(1): «Why are you even here?» *throws a card into him*

Mercenary(2): «I said, I’m here for a drink. Hey, aren’t we here guarding something for canned food, root beer or other V.I.P privileges? Sh*t. I’m drunk. Just die. Just f*cking die.» *spills over a beer can*

Adrian: «Man, that sounds like me on weekends.»

Barney: «Tell me about it.»

*Barney throws a grenade right on their table*

Mercenary(1): «What the f*ck is that?»

Mercenary(2): «Can you believe your freaking eyes? A grape. And it’s here to save our lives. We are saved! We are all sav-»

*Both mercenaries die of an explosion, as gunfire erupts*

*After a generic firefight, Adrian finds what looks to be a jammer*

Adrian: «That battle is lame. They are all bullet sponges. Who the f*ck designed their armor? Oh and there’s that device, what it’s called, jammer, a signal jammer.»

Barney: «I can already guess your marks at school.»

Adrian: «Hey, I haven’t been to school. At least I think I haven’t.»

Barney: «Now I see. Well, apply that C4 and let’s get out of here.»

*Adrian applies a C4 and runs out of the outpost with Barney*

*First signal jammer destroyed*

Adrian: «That was a bit anticlimactic. Well, I can’t expect everything to be like in the movies, but f*ck. That was boring as sh*t.»

Barney: «This is what clearing outposts is. Boring. Kill a bunch of guys who fight like stormtroopers, explode something in yet another monotony and just move to another blip on the map. I’d imagine, this is the kind of entertainment people would willingly pay their money for.»

Adrian: «I suppose these guys were so bored themselves that they were glad someone is there to end their misery. Such case with all the outposts I presume.»

Barney: «Yeah, we even get to see the fun part going against their newly established "law and order". Let’s move to another one. No time to waste.»

*Adrian and Barney are heading to the next location where the jammer is*

Adrian: «Oh no, oh f*ck. Is that a sewer? Is this the place, Barney? Take a look at that map, I’m just… I’m too dizzy to check.»

Barney: «It looks like we are standing exactly where the jammer is supposed to be. A sewer entrance? That can’t be good. Who goes first?»

Adrian: «You. You go first.»

Barney: «I’ll scout the place and call you if it’s safe down there.»

*A minute later*

Adrian: «Barney? Please, answer!»

Barney: «It’s a bit wet down here… I think you can- Ah!»

Adrian: «Well, sh*t. And I can’t call 911. Alright, I’m going.»

*Adrian climbs down*

Adrian: «Barney, you there?»

Barney: «I’m fine, some… Sudden stream of water caught me off guard there. Never know what to expect climbing into a literal sh*thole with your feet in piss water.»

Adrian: «We did plenty of that in the army, only there it’s your head in a sh*thole while someone else is pissing on you and all because you stole an extra banana in the canteen. Either way, you nearly gave me a heart attack or a nervous seizure I’d never recover from. Man, I hate sewers, it stinks.»

Barney: «I did a bunch of crazy sh*t in Black Mesa while enjoying my time in violently fast streams of water, the most uncomfortable sequences I ever had. I’ve been constantly losing motivation to continue because of how disgusting and poorly designed those parts of the facility were. I bet you and Gordon had way more fun than I did.»

Adrian: «It was somewhat fun, but I didn’t enjoy jumping on different kinds of platforms that much. There were also those labs that I hated. I don’t know, but adrenaline kept pushing me, I never thought of stopping. Had a bunch of cool guns at least.»

Barney: «Look, those iron doors and valve… Classic. Somehow ever since I escaped Black Mesa I find myself turning valves or plugging things in and out.»

Adrian: «So what are we doing here?»

*Adrian and Barney with feet in water are trying to find a way to a second signal jammer*

Barney: «See the signal jammer behind those chain link fences? The only way to get there is through a bunch of steel doors. Looks like someone has to stay here and operate those valves while another is trying to reach a jammer. Can I trust you on this, Adrian? Ah, looks like water level is rising. We have to hurry.»

Adrian: «This is terrifying. Alright, let’s see what the first valve does.» *turns a first valve*

*A steel door opens. Barney walks into a steel door labyrinth*

«After failing a bunch of times and almost crushing the rambler to death with those steel doors, with him screaming at me, he finally made his way to a signal jammer, set a C4, made his way back and we had just enough time to climb out of the sewer before we’d get completely flooded.»

Adrian: «Three, two, one, bang!» *the entire sewer explodes, as water flies out of a manhole*

Barney: «Ho, wow! Way to turn a sewer into a fountain. Gotta say, I thought we were gonna die in there… Next time, leave actually doing something for me, so far you nearly got us killed.»

Adrian: «Hey, nowhere did it say it was a maintenance day. Wait, I just realized something… Why did we risk going there in the first place when jammer would have been knocked out anyway? Couldn’t we just throw a C4 into a manhole and be done with it?»

Barney: «Uh-huh. That hasn’t occurred to me either. Suppose we’ve been swimming in sh*t for no reason, but hey, searching for only three jammers and without action? That wouldn’t be an adventure.»

Adrian: «I guess you’re right. To the next jammer then…»

«So far it’s pretty lame and I’m not even getting paid to be here. At least it’s something. Another long sewer walk wouldn’t have been anything fun either. Just gotta get this thing over with.»

*20 minutes later*

Adrian: «I’m f*cking tired already. I don’t want to do this anymore.»

Barney: «Get up, we are almost there. Listen, Adrian, I have no weekends. Weekends is me heading hundreds of miles into a forest, then walk for hours, do some sh*t no one else is capable of and then back to City 17 with leg pain. Your whole body hurts after this. I’m struggling myself, Shephard. You can do whatever you want when we get back, you can sit on your *ss and do whatever you want, but I’ll have to get back to my duty and get my *ss beaten instead, all for taking too long helping humanity get back on it’s feet. Sleepless nights, constant paranoia they find the evidence on what I’m doing. I have the hardest time of all. Please, let’s get this over with so you and I can finally go our separate ways.»

Adrian: «Yeah, that sounds terrible. It must be tough for you.»

Barney: «Words can’t express any of it, Adrian. It’s so hard, sometimes I just want to say f*ck it. But I can’t. With humanity at it’s lowest point, when nobody gives a sh*t about anything, joins Combine ranks to get a slightly better meal, you lose all hope. Nobody wants to do anything, everyone just suddenly gave up after the 7-hour war.» *starts crying*

Adrian: «It’s okay. F*ck, it’s okay. Listen, I just, I don’t even know…»

Barney: «Just grab your balls and let’s keep moving…»

*Barney and Adrian reach another location where the jammer is*

Barney: «Well, sh*t. A mansion. A mansion in the woods.»

Adrian: «Insane.»

Barney: «*chuckles* You think they are gonna let us in looking and smelling like that?»

Adrian: «What do we do?»

Barney: «This is a good vantage point. Just stay here with a sniper rifle and provide cover while I’m triyng to find a way in.»

Adrian: «Is that a risk you’re willing to take?»

Barney: «Yeah. At best someone is just going to kill me.» *runs to the mansion*

*Barney knocks out a few mercenaries by hitting them from the back, climbs on the balcony of the second floor and enters the mansion*

Adrian: *scopes* «You know parkour? Why haven’t you told me…»

*Few minutes later*

Adrian: «Come on, Barney, you bastard. Where are you?»

*Sounds of a firefight*

«F*ck. What do I do, do I help him? Nah, it was his fault for doing it all alone.»

*Barney runs out on the balcony and waves at Adrian*

*Barney hides behind a wall on the balcony. Few mercenaries are running to the balcony through a corridor*

Adrian: *seeing mercenaries running in one line through a corridor* «He-he. I got a clear shot.»

*holds breath*

*Adrian shoots and hits five mercenaries at the same time with one bullet*

Barney: *shows a thumbs up and runs back into the mansion*

*Few minutes later*

Adrian: «Enough. I’m going in.»

*Adrian is about to enter a mansion*

Adrian: *gets scared by a body falling from a balcony* «Barney, is that you?»

Barney: «Adrian! I interrogated an injured mercenary, he shared the details on where a jammer might be. It’s gotta be in the basement. Find the basement and destroy the jammer yourself while I cover you from up here.» *drops C4*

Adrian: *picks up a C4* «Will do.»

*Adrian gets into a basement*

Heavy Zombie Mercenary: *attacks Adrian*

*Adrian kills Heavy Zombie Mercenary*

Adrian: «Another bullet sponge. This one was a little creepy.» *sets a C4 and runs outside*

Barney: «Alright, let’s get out of here!»

*Adrian and Barney run up to a vantage point*

Barney: «Light up the fireworks. This one’s on you.»

Adrian: *detonates a C4*

*Mansion collapses*

Adrian: «How did the entire mansion collapse?»

Barney: «Don’t know, but it looks cinematic. Let’s head to a radio beacon.»

*Half an hour later*

Barney: «I’m gonna climb the radio beacon and do the job myself. You stay here and cover me, so that I’m not gonna have a hundred mercenaries waiting for me when I climb down. They will follow us, I suspect.»

*Barney climbs on top of a radio beacon*

Mercenary: «You are fighting a war you cannot win! Drop your gun!» *gets shot by Adrian*

Adrian: «Really? *laughs* You know who you’re f*cking with?»

*Adrian fights against mercenaries, while holding the radio beacon for 20 minutes*

Barney: «Done! We did it! Now to the lab. *looks at a long pile of bodies* They told me you aren’t f*cking around.»

*Barney and Adrian reach the lab*

Dr. Kleiner: «But I need it for, uh, it’s for…»

Eli (on the monitor): «Leave these dreadful toys behind, Isaac. It would do more harm than good. Remember, we can only transfer the essentials. Don’t question me on this.»

Dr. Kleiner: «But Eli...»

Eli (on the monitor): «Listen to me. It’s for your own good.»

Barney: «Dr. Kleiner? You already heading out and so soon? Here, Adrian, behold, these lab rats, parasites responsible for Black Mesa and all other madness it caused. Your "research" would only be useful if you knew where to stop it.»

Dr. Kleiner: «Oh, if we knew what we were doing – it wouldn’t be research. But we can’t let decades of advancements go to waste. It can still be used for the benefit of humankind and I am confident… Almost confident, we shall ultimately succeed.»

Eli (on the monitor): «There is no time, Isaac.»

Dr. Rosenberg: «Barney, Shephard, splendid work. We have already sent all the useful tools Kleiner could use on the other side of the portal in his newly established lab - shelter in City 17 currently under control of our trustworthy resistance members. We ourselves aren’t left empty handed, we are exchanging Kleiner for Russell, another man who… Seems to know what he’s doing. At least we hope so. The only challenge is convincing Kleiner to leave his silly pet Lamar and a bunch of radioactive junk he himself doesn’t know what to do with, so we can finally wrap this all up.»

Adrian: «How about we just push the guy in there?»

Dr. Rosenberg: «He needs to get into that portal himself, very slowly and carefully, otherwise, if he just mindlessly flies in there, he is potentially going to get cut into little pieces or escape the range that moves his coordinates in a strict line to an end destination. There is a delay of exactly two seconds before the teleportation event itself occurs, so that he can position himself in one spot, not moving. Kleiner, this whole lab’s power will shut down if you don’t step into the portal in time. We can’t hold it forever. It takes an entire hour to configure a portal that strong.»

Dr. Kleiner: «I can’t… He is my family, he is all I have.»

Barney: «Oh, come on! Let me show you how it’s done. *walks closer to a portal* You just step in here. Alright? You step in. You wait two seconds, you get out of here and then find a new headcrab pet. Come on, Kleiner. Look, again, you just-» *Lamar falls on Barney’s head from the vent above*

Dr. Kleiner: «Found you, Lamar!»

Dr. Rosenberg: «Isn’t that ironic? Lamar loves others more than he loves Kleiner. Not surprising at all.»

Barney: «Get him off me. *screams in panic* Get him off!»

*Barney stumbles and ends up in a portal*

Barney: «Oh sh*t. No!» *Barney teleports out of the lab*

Dr. Kleiner: «I’m coming, Lamar!» *walks into a portal*

Dr. Walter: «Goodbye, Dr. Kleiner! It’s been an honor to work together!»

Dr. Rosenberg: «Yes! Finally!»

*Dr. Kleiner teleports out of the lab*

Dr. Rosenberg: «Close the portal, Walter.»

Dr. Walter: «First we have to make sure if he made it safely to-»

Dr. Rosenberg: «Just close it.»

*Dr. Walter closes the portal*

Dr. Rosenberg: «Eli, we have an unexpected visitor.»

Eli (on the monitor): *Barney fights with Lamar on a background* «*whispers in an angry tone* Barney… *wipes the face* Not him. *deep breath* We’ll send Russell over soon. See you.» *turns off a monitor*

Adrian: «Hm. Is he not glad seeing him?»

Dr. Rosenberg: «They are not exactly on the same terms. Listen, Adrian, go back to the bunker, you deserve a rest.»

*In the main enemy mercenary base*

Mattis: *rips out Harris’s moustache with bare hands* «He-he-he.»

Private Harris: «*loud screaming* Not the moustache! It will take months to glue it back together!»

Generic Soldier: *runs up to Mattis* «All signal jammers destroyed… Mission failed. We weren’t able to-»

Mattis: «Ah, don’t worry about it. *throws Harris’s moustache on the floor and stomps it* Mmm?» *chuckles and points his hand to Harris*

Generic Soldier: «Yeah, ha-ha. Uhm.»

Mattis: «I held a boy captive once, just like him. I let my dog bite out his own nose. He kept apologizing, screaming for help. I asked «you’re apologizing for what?» and he kept talking about how he shouldn’t have come to us, he shouldn’t have crossed our territory. He was a naïve one. He had no clue. The next thing I do, I break his dreams and make him explode in tears. «I’m not here to punish you, boy. I’m here to keep you as our entertainment, so I can come into this room after long days of battle and unzip a wiener down your throat so I can have a little good time. Soldier needs a rest, that’s the only thing your mouth is useful for. You did wrong assuming we are the good guys.» I’ve cut out his eyeballs, so his blowjob sessions would always be unexpected for him. I actually had few transgender NATO troops making turns to play with a doll. He lasted for about two weeks, I think he died because of some tongue infection after that. Don’t know, he just suffocated in his own vomit. That’s what we do to these cowards leaving their authority behind, surrendering. If a man can’t bring a fair battle, he’ll serve as our doll trophy. In the war – you fight. There is no second option.»

Private Harris: *starts crying*

Mattis: «Yeah. I especially like it whiny and watery.»

*A day later*

Commander Barry: *talks on the radio* «Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, sh*t. *turns off a radio* *walks up to Adrian* Shephard, we have a problem. Nothing that we can’t handle. When I mean we, I mean you! That old idiot fool Mattis, Breen’s deputy is mad about our recent success and is now planning a coordinated attack on our bunker! They know where we are, they kidnapped Harris the other day.»

Adrian: «How did they manage to do that?»

Commander Barry: «Ah, he was… He was sleeping outside yesterday. At night.»

Adrian: «I wonder why…»

Commander Barry: «That guy can’t wash floor for sh*t! I found his nail yesterday on the floor that he dropped in stress. I threw him out. Now I miss him.»

Adrian: «Yeah, totally.»

Commander Barry: «I do! Who else is gonna massage my feet as well as he does? Listen, we have to outpace them. Take them out ourselves before they actually have a chance of pushing us to the corner. I suggest you form a squad and take them out! Sounds easy?»

Adrian: «Uuuh…»

Commander Barry: «Then do it! Hurry! Grab the weaponry, take a few soldiers with you and get to these two spots on the maps. Two blips. Two small f*cking insects to squash. Fast, Adrian! I’m losing my patience! Oh, so, about your targets, one of those guys aren’t exactly mercenaries anymore. Just some former terrorists who’ve been causing us problems recently. The other spot is Mattis and their central HQ. Actually, they are all just a bunch of terrorists! Kill them all!»

*Adrian walks up to Colonel Wolf*

Adrian: «Listen, uh…»

Colonel Wolf: «What, why is Barry losing his mind again? It is f*cking impossible, not one day, not one hour without him losing his sh*t. Who does he think he is?»

Adrian: «You haven’t changed a bit. Not one day without you asking that stupid question. He is your captain.»

Colonel Wolf: *speaks in a disappointed tone* «Right… *drinks whiskey* What do you need?»

Adrian: «Barry wants us to torch Mattis’s base and wipe them all out.»

Colonel Wolf: «Finally! The day has come! Come, let’s get a squad together.»

*In the main enemy mercenary base*

Mattis: *walks outside* «Smell that? *sniffs* A progenitor of communism. Let’s burn all the trees down. Make em’ suffer, even in death.»

Generic Soldier: «What are we gonna do to them? Do we have plan, anything?»

Mattis: «We’ll put em’ to sleep first. We hang em’ upside down, wait till they wake up. Then we stand and stare silently, let them cry, beg, making fools of themselves as they hang embarrassed in shame. Their faces will turn red and their brains will soak in their own blood. They’ll be tasting it, their own guilt and failure. We’ll put no hand on them, they’ll drown in their own body instead. After all, that’s what they deserve.»

*An hour later*

Colonel Wolf: «Let’s go, everyone! Today we’ll show them!»

Adrian: «Where’s Fatneck?»

Colonel Wolf: «Ah, he sh*ts himself in a sh*tter as usual. He isn’t capable of walking, let alone fighting.»

*Adrian and the soldiers are heading to the first base*

Colonel Wolf: «We have information that the first batch of idiots are located in an old soviet theater. Let’s visit them first and then have a tea party with Mattis.»

*Minutes later*

Tiller: *whistles* «Are we there yet? *whistles again* Guys? *runs behind the rest of the squad* Are we there yet, guys? Ha-ha-ha!» *jumps around*

Dominic: «Yeah, we are gonna have fun with your mother when we get there. We gonna cook some pancakes with her today, alright. I brought pyjamas with me just in case.»

Benny: «H-hey, w-whats-w your nwame? S-swstop! Dw-don’t dw-run!»

Rob: *sighs and adjusts glasses* «*speaks slowly* Tshhh, Benny, tshhh… Staaay calm. Shhh. You’ll have a seizure again if you lose control. Don’t worry now.»

Benny: «W-w-w-brhh… W-w-w-w…»

Rob: «Yeees. Aaahhh… Yeees. Sshhh… We get back… I’ll be whispering in your ear again, honey.»

Thomas: «Man! A bunch of idiots is all we took? Come on, dude! Dude, what the f*ck, like what? Dude, this is f*cked up, man. *starts smoking marihuana* Man, what the f*ck dude! What?»

Dominic: «You seeing hallucinations there, Tommy? Yeah, that’s me playing with your mother.»

Colonel Wolf: «Shut up! Everyone! Shut the f*ck up! I can’t believe this! You are all pathetic! You all must be ashamed of yourself! I hate all of you! I’m done if you won’t shut up.»

Benny: «W-w… Aaah! W-w-woof, woolf. W-w-wow, woah-w.»

Colonel Wolf: «What the f*ck? Why do we have so many disabled people in our squad?»

Henry (on a wheelchair): «*follows squad from behind* Guys, I’m finally here! Don’t forget about me here! I’m trying my best to keep up. I’m almost there, guys!»

Colonel Wolf: «F*cking kill me already.»

*Squad reaches an old soviet theater*

Colonel Wolf: «Adrian, climb that ladder to the second floor and check if you see anyone. Use your walkie-talkie and explain the situation once you get there.»

Adrian: «Will do.» *climbs ladder to the second floor of a theater*

*Inside an old Soviet theater*

*Dr.Romanov is sitting in the first row of stalls, overlooking a stage painted red, along with red curtains. Red color from curtains reflects on whole auditorium*

Dr. Romanov : «Red. Seducing color, eeeh? Blood of my enemies is red. I like it. Sooo, woman, my ballerina, where are you my love?»

*curtain rises*

Vera: «*speaks trembling* Oh, Dr. Romanov my love, I invited you into this room to dance, to dance for my favorite man in the world, to reveal my heart to you.»

Dr. Romanov : «Come on now, my dear, do not be shy! Your attire is an exquisite work of art. *puts on glasses* Shall we start? Friends, on those far seats, is it comfortable, do you see from there?»

Bloody Darryl: «*touches Muhlik’s shoulder with an elbow* «Heyo, I think he is talking to us. Yeah, yeah, everything is visible, more than visible actually! *whispers to Muhlik* Will you put down your binoculars for one bloody second, you perv? Sheesh, you stoned weirdo. It’s his wife, you moron!»

Mr. Muhlik: «I am a man of culture. Let a man appreciate our classic art in greatest detail. Gain some maturity. I haven’t seen woman’s private parts for many many years. Even then, I’m sure you brits too have balls, why not put them to good use aswell?»

Bloody Darryl: «You got me, alright? I might not be the horniest man on the planet, but ballet is the closest thing we would ever get to striptease. Not like there’s a difference. Idea, let’s make it turn based, you jerk for two minutes and then I jerk for two minutes. We don’t get too crazy, we don’t moan, we don’t scream out phrases like «show us your t*ts big lips» or-»

Mr. Muhlik: «Enough, enough! I know you are hungry for sex, me too, after all these years, we ran wild. No women at all around here. Let us enjoy while it lasts. Hey, gandon, Number K, you have a spare condom?»

*Number K tries to wear off condom from his head*

Bloody Darryl: «Not from the head, dumbass. I’d rather put my d*ck into a washing machine, rather than let it absorb your drool and sweat.»

Dr. Romanov: «I can hear you there! Discipline, discipline!» *slaps knee* My darling, we are all set.»

Vera: «I am so eager to finally demonstrate you all my passion, my dedication for ballet that I acquired many years ago when I was young. My mother took me to ballet classes when I was a small, careless girl. She cared about me, she was making sure that I grow up an exceptional girl with good-natured interests and value for tradition and style.

*Dialogue interruption – Dr.Romanov*

«Excuse me, my love. We came here to see you in action. Leave words for later when we are in bed.»

*looks down saddened* Very well.»

Adrian: «I have a clear shot with a sniper rifle.»

Colonel Wolf: «Light these guys up.»

Adrian: «Easy.» *shoots and splatters ballet woman’s brains all over the stage*

Dr.Romanov: «*stands up and checks where the shot came from* You there! You killed my wife, you son of a b*tch! No!» *pulls out Desert Eagle and hits a sniper rifle Adrian is holding*

*Adrian is slightly injured due to a collision with a sniper rifle*

Dr.Romanov: «No… No! My beautiful… I’ll punish you… I’ll punish whoever did this! You evil barbarians! You will all answer for what you did!»

*Squad runs into a theater and starts a firefight*

Henry (on a wheelchair): *approaches Dr.Romanov on stage from behind and rides on his feet* «Oh, who are you? Wait, let me…»

Dr.Romanov: «*pain screams* Ah, my legs!» *drops Desert Eagle*

*Dr.Romanov starts fighting Henry*

*Adrian recovers from colliding with a sniper rifle*

«Ah, my eyes are blurry. Can’t see who is who. I’ve got an idea.»

*Adrian shoots a chandelier, as it falls, partially collapsing the roof and setting auditorium on fire*

*Auditorium is temporarily buried in smoke blinding everyone in a firefight*

Number K: *dies from lack of air*

Benny: *experiences seizure*

Mr. Muhlik: «Ah, I don’t seem… *coughs* To be able to… *coughs* Concentrate.»

Bloody Darryl: *coughs* «Called it, you f*cking idiot. Stop touching your d*ck every now and then.»

Mr. Muhlik: «But… *coughs* Few years ago… I’ve read on the internet… I reckoned it has no negative effects.»

Bloody Darryl: «F*cking wow. Don’t reveal us all your search history now.»

*After hearing Bloody Darryl and Mr.Muhlik, Benny experiences a heavier seizure*

Rob: «*sighs* We tried avoiding direct sexual topics… You had your day, Benny. I did what I could, my little flower. *kisses his cheek*

*Benny dies*

Mr. Muhlik: «*tries to shoot opponents* I can’t aim. That sensation… Tickling becomes unbearable, to the point I can’t avoid touching it. It kept plaguing me for almost an eternity, ever since I excessively, uh, in civilized words, started satisfying my sexual needs. What could be the reason? Is that because my woman left me one day and I had that depression? Since then, every day, every time when I could, I kept reaching out to my-»

Bloody Darryl: «Oh, you perverted son of a f*cking mental wh*re! Not a single day without you sharing me yet another dirty secret about your ways of j**king off. First you blame using a wrong fabric, next you are blaming me, then the depression, have you tried washing your balls with anything other than root beer, at least once in the past ten years? I’m pulling out of here, I have had enough of that delusional ramble of someone who seemingly lost his complete f*cking mind.» *runs out to the corridor next to far seats, leading to a main lobby of a theater*

Mr. Muhlik: «At least I have a better hair than you. All women loved me. Few years ago when I had that black BMW.»

Thomas: «*loud screaming* Dude, I’m losing it yet again. I’m losing it. *experiences Parkinson’s* It’s time for my cure, doc. Yes, medicine. *consumes a drug prohibited in many countries* Yeah, dude. Brrh!»

*Drug consumption assists Thomas, enhancing reflexes, changing smoke color and turning it transparent*

Mr. Muhlik: «And that beautiful villa… And a yacht. And a-» *gets shot in the head*

*Few minutes later smoke escapes through a hole in the roof*

Dominic: «Last guy, where is he? *checks far seats* Nowhere to be found. Must have ran back to his mother. They all do.»

Dr. Romanov: «Audience! A minute of your consideration, please.»

*Squad looks back and observes the stage*

Dr. Romanov: *holds Henry hostage with a karambit while on stage* «My wife, you murdered my wife, you impudent animals! She did nothing… She was a lighthearted, kind, diligent woman who knew how to cook. Because of you, I will never be able to have borsch again, not the same way! She was all I had! I bet you army roaches never even had a real woman and your only understanding of love is playing with a blowup doll in a mom’s basement!»

Dominic: «I think he’s talking about you, Tilly.»

Tiller: «*biting a lower lip in anger* «Pff-urgh. I’ll rip those freckles right from your silly smug face, then feed it to you! You frail gingerbread.»

Dr. Romanov: «Now I understand. Well, let’s see how you act when someone you much know and love gets brutally killed in cold blood right in front of your own very eyes!» *slits Henry's throat*

*Squad is looking at each other in confusion*

Thomas: «Uuuh… What was his name again?»

*Others in squad shrug and look around*

Colonel Wolf: «No? Nobody cares? Me neither.»

*Squad loads up guns*

Dr. Romanov: «What? Impossible! *wipes glasses* But…» *gets shot to death*

Colonel Wolf: «Well done, everyone. *looks back* Adrian, you can climb down he-»

Bloody Darryl: *rotates a minigun* «Daddy’s back, c***suckers! *starts shooting at random* Come out, little cats! It will rain limbs-»

*Adrian falls on Bloody Darryl from the second floor and snaps his neck*

Colonel Wolf: «This was the stupidest firefight I’ve ever seen… Let’s get out of here. *walks up to Rob* Rob. *pokes him with a boot* Get up, we are going for Mattis. Rob?»

Rob: «*puts a hand on Benny’s corpse* *slow sigh* Proceed without me, friends… I will not be able to join you on your adventure. I must stay and pay tribute to my little flower.» *pours water on Benny’s corpse*

Colonel Wolf: «Uh-huh. Right. *walks up to Thomas* And what about you?»

*Thomas rolls on the floor, stares into the roof while randomly moving his hands, legs*

Thomas: «Throal. Woal. They vzhh. *inaudible, quiet mumble*»

Colonel Wolf: «Idiot is on drugs again… *walks up to stage* Tiller, Dom?»

Tiller: *stares at ballet woman’s corpse* «Mother? But how?»

Dominic: *walks out in pyjamas* «Ha, called it! Man, is it a nice looking theater. Just gonna pretend I’m someone famous and the audience is full of hot girls.» *starts posing and dancing*

Colonel Wolf: «Ew, disgusting. Adrian, f*cking speak to me already!»

Adrian: «Yeah, our crew is hollow as sh*t.»

Colonel Wolf: «Hollow? These guys aren’t capable of doing anything. Guess it’s just you and me from now on. Let’s go. Are you alright, by the way?»

Adrian: «No, I wanna kill myself.»

Colonel Wolf: «Ha, same thing, buddy. Same thing. Especially now that everyone else technically fell out and it’s only us two, we aren’t gonna survive long. At this point, storming their main base is a death sentence.»

Adrian: «Do we have a choice?»

Colonel Wolf: «If by choice you mean forced imitated wrestling at the shower with Barry, then yeah. Then again, you aren’t gonna be able to live with yourself after that.»

*Adrian and Colonel Wolf are heading out to the main enemy mercenary base*

Colonel Wolf: «It isn’t far. So what, do we just get in, shoot a bunch of guys and confront Mattis? That easy?»

Adrian: «I don’t want to do anything anymore. Like I don’t wanna live, literally.»

Colonel Wolf: «When it’s about Mattis… Death is the best thing that can happen to you.»

Adrian: «What do you mean?»

*In the main enemy mercenary base*

Generic Soldier: *loads up weapons and dresses up* «What were you up to, you know, before partnering with Breen?»

Mattis: «It’s been a long time ago… One day, I bought some of them boys from the FBI child trafficking branch of the agency. I remember those days when we had to strip suckers naked and ship them in those vans to the government funded farmlands. A bunch of crazy fake farmers appointed by the deep states took them in, cuffed their legs and put them under white blankets with tiny holes for their eyes. Hard-working farmers… They were paid well for their job, castrating the sheep one by one. I remember him doing it very slowly, his laugh is still encoded in the brains of some of the still living troops here in our little organization. So many years later, they are still as angry as ever. They have every right to be, but that only makes them stronger. We knew who we were using all along and I still have no regrets. None, whatsoever. In fact, I think it was pretty fun.»

Generic Soldier: *drops a gun on the ground in shock*

Generic Soldier(2): *puts on a lipstick*

*Two hours later*

Adrian: *sits down on rock* «I think I’m done.»

Colonel Wolf: *sighs, sits down and starts screaming*

*Birds are flying away in fear*

Colonel Wolf: «F*ck you, Adrian.» *drinks whiskey*

Adrian: «Can I get some of that?»

Colonel Wolf: «Can you f*ck off? But fine, here.» *passes whiskey to Adrian*

Adrian: *drinks whiskey* «Ah, burns. It tastes like medicine. To what extent do you have to hate yourself that you start drinking sh*t like this?»

Colonel Wolf: *laughs* «Perhaps kids’ champagne is your forte. *drinks more whiskey* So now that we both hate each other and wanna die… Does that mean we are boyfriends?»

Adrian: «What the f*ck?»

Colonel Wolf: «That’s what I meant by f*ck you. Quite literally, I want to f*ck you.»

Adrian: «I… I’m not quite sure what you mean. I- *grabbed by the cheek*»

Colonel Wolf: «I always wanted to have a boyfriend. Someone I can love.»

Adrian: «*intense breathing* This is so wrong…»

Colonel Wolf: «You have a slightly feminine voice that I really like. Mmm?» *touches Adrian’s hair* Rrrr… Woof!»

*Adrian and Colonel Wolf are having an intercourse*

*Heavy storm starts*

Colonel Wolf: «Argh! Come on, son. You can make it.»

Adrian: «I’ve penetrated through worse.»

Colonel Wolf: «Ah, f*ck. This is what we’ve been training for. Man! Man, have you run deep into the mud. Oh, sh*t. I think you broke my bone there. How… How does it curve and wiggle like this? It goes anywhere… You can plug it into anywhere, son. There is no way it can go deeper than that.»

Adrian: «Years of practicing… You start with smaller. Then they get bigger. And yeah. *tenses up* You are underestimating my manpower.»

Colonel Wolf: *loud screaming* «You broke my defenses, Shephard. You win. I surrender! Here are my hands! F*ck, I should really wash them. So, do we, uh-»

*Someone falls off a tree from behind*

Commander Barry: «*walks up to Adrian and Colonel Wolf* I can’t believe my own f*cking eyes… Shephard…»

Adrian: «Barry, I can explain.»

Commander Barry: «Who would have thought? F*cking werewolf. Why… *whips Wolf with a belt* Why haven’t you… *keeps whipping Wolf with a belt*»

Colonel Wolf: «I was just a little drunk. *gets whipped* Please, captain. *gets whipped more* Oh, yes, captain.»

Commander Barry: «Don’t you dare stealing dear Shephard from me. We would have had a relaxing threesome! Why haven’t you called me to have some fun together, ah? This is not how I promote it.»

Colonel Wolf: *looks around* «Are you kidding me?»

*About 50 people are standing behind Barry, watching their every move*

Colonel Wolf: «How long? How long have you guys been here?»

Commander Barry: «Since the very beginning. Oh, we were just passing by. Didn’t seem appropriate interfering with your foreplay. Listen, you two. We have bigger things to worry about. We still have a chance of outpacing Mattis and his trans mercenary crew, but only if we get there in time… In time. *slaps his wristwatch* Are you not hearing me? Grab your ballsacks and shove them back in your pants right this moment!»

Random Soldier: *whispers* «Sheep f*cks a wolf… That’s something you don’t see every day.»

Random Soldier(2): «Hey, you got it on camera?»

Random Soldier: «Yeah… *shows him footage* Here a little guy penetrates through a big guy’s rear end. And here’s a volcano eruption in HD.»

Random Soldier(2): «Ha, nice. And then you fall off a tree?»

Random Soldier: «*hides camera* You know, never mind.»

*Colonel Wolf dresses up and follows a squad*

Commander Barry: «Adrian, kid. *Adrian looks at Barry* You did good. I am proud of you, boy. *passes him wet wipes*»

*Half an hour later*

Commander Barry: *deep breath through nose* «Here we are. Look at that. This is where those parasites swarm, those little, pathetic, annoying… Ah, I can’t even think of a word, I might have overheated. But really, can you believe it? Today we have a chance of bringing the democracy back from it’s grave, back to the land of opportunity… Had this not been in Russia. Yeah, I must be asking for too much. Let’s storm the place dry!»

*Over the course of 5 minutes, squad eliminates all 30 mercenaries guarding the base*

Commander Barry: «Is that it? Really? Isn’t there supposed to be more of them?»

*Squad storms the building entrance*

Commander Barry: «Mattis? We’ve come for you. Come out... Am I hearing whining?»

Adrian: «Sounds a lot like Harris.»

*Squad approaches Private Harris, hanging blindfolded in a near-death state*

Private Harris: «*crying* Help.»

Commander Barry: «Harris?»

Private Harris: «*starts inaudibly mumbling in fear* C-captain?»

Commander Barry: «What happened to your nails? Somebody ripped them out?»

Private Harris: «It was Mattis… He was… He was…» *keeps crying*

Commander Barry: «It’s okay, son, Captain is back. Doc? Doc! Come do something!»

Doctor: «*opens a notebook* Let’s see. Ahem. Ribs are heavily damaged. Teeth knocked o
ut, nose is broken, nails missing…»

Private Harris: «He fed me my own nails.»

Doctor: «Right. Fingers twisted a little bit from what I can tell, uh. Blood is just… *shrugs*
Everywhere. Dripping and leaving a puddle under the legs as a result… Is that tattoo? On the back? It says… It says "Chocolate Bunny piñata with strawberry jam. Slap here." Well, my report is… Fella has about ten minutes to live, as for mental health – none. By my calculations it’s broken beyond any repair. Want some marihuana?»

Commander Barry: «You call yourself a doctor? Standing here with a c*m cleaner piece of paper, a pen that is about as tiny as Fatneck’s d*ck, while our ally soaks in his own blood? And all because of me! Have some decency and give him something! Harris, Harris, stay strong, we’ll get you out of this.»

Private Harris: «Do I get a day off if I survive?»

Commander Barry: «You get two! Just, just… Think about fried chicken, the one from KFC or red beans, eh, you know, the ones that we have in those cans…»

Private Harris: «I hate canned red beans.»

Commander Barry: «Listen, I don’t remember what black people eat and I don’t care, just, f*cking don’t die, we have enough on our plate already. Where’s Mattis?»

Private Harris: «You haven’t killed him? Uh, he was already heading to our bunker, he wants to torch our place up.»

Commander Barry: «Ha, like I’m about to let that happen. Sh*t, we have a few guys guarding the bunker, I’m not sure if they can resist their attack… Alright, everyone, you know what to do, I’ll stay here with Harris, grab those armored vehicles outside and get to defending! Doc, you are with me.»

*Squad gets into armored vehicles and drives back to bunker*

*At the bunker*

Mattis: «It’s familiar to me, a smell of corpses. When we executed those Iraqi nobodies, we had our surgeon stripping their corpses of organs, so we could sell them to our twisted higher-ups. I personally attended that procedure, watched his every move. Gotta say, was a lot more entertaining than what they show you on the TV. Nowhere will you ever see human skin with no meat or the skeleton hanging there on a hook. Wonder what the CIA have been using it for.»

Generic Soldier: «Alright, now that they’re dead, we are going in!»

*On a road to the bunker*

Colonel Wolf: *choppers fly overhead* «Sh*t, Adrian, they’ve send in the choppers! *one of the choppers explodes a tree, as it falls blocking a road* Oh, come on! Adrian, get off the turret and grab rockets for your RPG from the back of an SUV. Take down the choppers while I help others clear the way.»

*Adrian grabs rockets and takes down two choppers*

Colonel Wolf: *groans* «Good job, guys! Now back to our vehicles.»

*Squad successfully reaches the bunker*

Adrian: *coughs* «They’ve set those trees on fire. Can barely see anything. *shoots visible enemies*»

Colonel Wolf: «They’ve occupied our territory. We have to go on foot from here, it’s too risky!»

*Missile flies to an SUV, Adrian jumps off a turret and receives injuries*

Colonel Wolf: «Adrian, are you okay?»

Adrian: «Need a first aid kit. I don’t know if I can make it.»

Colonel Wolf: «Alright, stay here and be on the lookout. I have to help the other guys. You’re alright, Adrian.» *kisses his cheek*

*Minutes after a fierce battle*

Adrian: «Where are they? I hope they made it.»

Mattis: *emerges from the mud* «I touched many boys like you at night. *hits Adrian* I’ve used to shower with the boys like you every day.» *twists Adrian’s nipples*

Adrian: *falls on ground* «Ah, you son of a b*tch!» *gets consistently punched in the face*

Mattis: *stands up and catches a breath* «No one is coming to help you, he-he. *breathes* How about a little story?»

Adrian: «F*ck you.»

Mattis: «I knew that guy, a king of all the boys. Flying them across a country, through the states by chopper, stopping here and there at parties. One day a kid went to a nearby shop. We had a clerk on a payroll ready to do his magical phone call. Out of the shop and gone forever, declared missing by a local dump. New name and made up story. This is how boys become rich musical stars. This is how they become famous. This is why they touch their crotch before the stage and during. Sing a song to me, son. Let’s you and I get closer.» *strips Adrian from clothes*

*Someone throws a rock at Mattis*

Mattis: «Who is this?»

*Samuel appears and starts a fistfight with Mattis*

Mattis: *dodges Samuel’s punches and snaps his neck*

*Samuel moves two steps back, fixes a neck and snaps it back*

Mattis: «What the actual f*ck?» *gets the face crushed by a stone Samuel is punching him with*

*Mattis is dead*

Adrian: *coughs* «Samuel?»

*Samuel lends Adrian a hand and gets him up*

G-Man: *changes the form in front of Adrian’s eyes* «I admit, it was… Satisfying.»

Adrian: «So it was you all along? But why?»

G-Man: «Precautions. I took the only course of action necessary. You have a little trust in our kind. It only seemed appropriate. *gives Adrian a piece of paper with coordinates*»

Adrian: «And what is that supposed to be?»

G-Man: «Now that your primary objective is complete, I’m curious how well you are going to deal with your next assignment. Granted, you are not running away, but that is an offer you definitely cannot refuse. Those are the coordinates for a facility in Switzerland. Something a lot worse had happened there. Anomaly worse than Black Mesa.»

Adrian: «What do I need to do?»

G-Man: «I have rescheduled Freeman’s arrival to City 17, therefore, he’s not coming out of an early retirement. Services he can provide to us we still conserve and use all assets available for our goals, which includes you. Resource management just requires the right strategy and planning in our ultimate efforts. Obtain a keycard at the facility by the coordinates, a matter I cannot yet disclose. You have six months, which is, arguably, a plenty of time.»

Adrian: «Key word – arguably. It is only arguably that I can even make it to Switzerland, pinpoint facility by your mysterious coordinates and find some unknown keycard no one knows about I don’t know where. Are you f*cking kidding me? It’s like I can’t even-»

*G-Man disappears*

Adrian: «Great. F*cking great.»

Commander Barry: *runs up to Adrian* «Adrian? You made it! I can’t believe you made it! You’ve killed that son of a b*tch Mattis and by yourself?»

Adrian: «I guess.»

Commander Barry: «We should celebrate! Now we can expand our network freely! Isn’t that great? Next we’ll overthrow Breen, his Combine puppies and make Earth safe again! We’ll make it work together! There is nothing that we can’t handle and thanks to you. We’ll be able to breathe again, live ordinary lives. We just need to take down that Breen guy, the Citadel and we are golden!»

Adrian: «Actually, there is another thing that needs doing…»

Commander Barry: «What do you mean?»

*Three days later*

Commander Barry: «And from that day I declare you two – a husband and a husband!»

*Colonel Wolf in wedding dress and Adrian kiss and hug each other*

*Wedding attendants collectively screaming – «Hip, hip, hooray!»

Rob: *walks up to Barry* «I’ve made a cake. To commemorate my little flower…» *shows a cake*

Commander Barry: «R.I.P Benny? Who is that?»

Thomas: «Everyone! Champagne, whiskey, everything! Harris? Start it up!»

Private Harris: «Will do. *connects mp3 player with speakers* Now that’s a party.»

*Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up starts playing*

Private Harris: *starts dancing* «Never gonna give you up… Never na-na-na… And hurt you… F****ng A’ yes!»

*Barry dances and sits on a twine while others are sprinkling each other with whipped cream*

Commander Barry: «We are back, b*tches!»

*From that day Adrian and Colonel Wolf lived happily. Until one day…*

*Few months later*

*Chopper lands*

Adrian: *walks out of a helicopter* «We are finally here… Barry.»

Commander Barry: «Adrian… Son. How’s progress?»

Adrian: «I got it.» *shows him a keycard*

Commander Barry: «You just had to wait till I grow a grey beard that keeps getting stuck in my pants… And get bald! Never mind. We are leaving the bunker, it served us well… A shame, but we have to move forward. We have already armed the City 17 resistance members, now we get to pushing. Barney is waiting for us.»

Adrian: «*leans on both his knees* It’s been wild… First the gnomes, then that f*cked up facility… I’m telling you, they were warping reality in there before they went in over their heads… It was insane. It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. I think I’ll never recover from that…»

Commander Barry: «Well, perhaps one day you are gonna tell me a full story, maybe not. Doesn’t matter, what matters is, according to vortigaunts, Freeman is stuck in an infinite teleportation loop in Nova Prospekt. Only you can help him escape that mess by using a keycard on one of their terminals. That is if they are still functioning in there. Listen, Adrian, it could be the last time we see each other, I can’t express this in words, but it’s been an honor. You are the best our squad has to offer. You got us back on our feet, you took me out of that constant alcoholism when I didn’t know what to do. I… Thank you. Goodbye, Adrian. I hope to see you again at some point.»

Adrian: «Goodbye Barry.»

*Commander Barry and Adrian salute each other and go their separate ways*

*Adrian heads to Nova Prospekt*

«Acquiring that keycard was not easy. Not easy at all. I’m still surprised I made it. The whole Switzerland thing was twisted. I’m now shaking, shaking constantly. I view the world differently. I see things differently. I don’t understand what’s going on… How was it even possible? It was so strange. I still have those nightmares. I think I’m f*cked. I’m completely f*cked in the head. I seriously need help after that. What I’ve seen… At least I’ve acquired something valuable.»

*Adrian checks a weapon – Experimental Handheld Particle Manipulator*

*Few hours later*

*Adrian lands around a watchtower area of Nova Prospekt*

Adrian: «Shouldn’t be far now.» *kills antlions*

*Adrian makes his way down a wide hole in the ground leading into a basement area*

Adrian: *uses nightvision goggles* «It’s way too dark around here.» *walks through a door*

*Adrian moves through dark, littered in dead bodies ruins of Nova Prospekt*

Adrian: «No electricity around here. Dark as it gets, but can still be an advantage to me.»

*Monsters are running around and making noises*

«Those weird monsters I’ve seen in Black Mesa. What are they doing here? I thought they were all gone.»

*Adrian moves deeper into Nova Prospekt while in stealth, avoiding Race X and taking them out with a silencer*

*Half an hour later*

Adrian: *observes a broken portal* «That teleporter… It should be the one. So this is where they came from.»

*Race X are coming out of an unstable Nova Prospekt portal*

Adrian: «Alright. It should do the trick. Just gotta avoid attention.» *swaps a keycard on one of the Combine terminals*

*Portal closes*

Adrian: «Yes, I’ve made it! Now I have to find a way out of here…» *seeing a briefcase on another terminal*

*Briefcase lights are blinking*

Adrian: «It makes a strange sound. Almost like a morse code. *opens a briefcase* Are you f*cking with me?»

*Tactical Mini-Nuke is activated. 5 seconds till destruction*

Adrian: «*loud screaming* No!»

*Adrian teleports out of Nova Prospekt a moment before the bomb explodes*

*Nova Prospekt is destroyed*

*Some time later*

Adrian: *wakes up and stands up, moving his hands robot-like* «Where am I? Who are you?»

CIA Agent: «Relax, don’t move, I said don’t move! Adrian, you are under control.»

Adrian: «What?»

CIA Agent: *on a chatter* «Yeah. He is active. Enabled, right, that’s the word.»

*Adrian observes a white room with a round table in the middle*

Adrian: «How?»

CIA Agent: «You have finally woken up! It’s me, Adrian! I’ve put you through that University of Hawaii program! When you were just a young kid!»

Adrian: «Excuse me?»

CIA Agent: «*on the chatter* Oh come on, I have this under control! No, I don’t need your help, not yet. You know the procedure. Sit down, Adrian. I’m your friend.»

Adrian: «You are gonna have to explain me what is going on.»

CIA Agent: «Yeah and I’m here to like have a teaparty or something. Adrian, you know me? Do you know who I am? Just testing your memory.»

Adrian: «No?»

CIA Agent: «Ha, we’ve done so good! Not even a trace of recollection. Listen, son. You are my personal project, a project that I was kept invested in for ages! Still is. You have proven yourself a really capable man. Just 22 years old and can do so much on his own. I am from CIA. I was one of the only people who had clearance to put young boys like you through a mind control program or how they call it. We’ve made a lot of people. We’ve made presidents, we’ve made actors, all kinds of big names and then you, a soldier who can do so much! You put no constructs, no ethics of any kind in front of you and you accomplish such great tasks. This is an intricate part of what it truly means to be a soldier. You’ve done so good. At this matter of urgency, however, we need a tiny thing from you. I mean I. Me.»

Adrian: «I see that table. There are definitely more people involved. How is it possible? For the CIA to still function?»

CIA Agent: «Ah, it doesn’t. It never did, it’s just a name. As for others you are asking about, you are not authorized to meet them as bummering as this might sound. There is a fire behind me that you do not see. They are watching us right now and consistently pissing me off on that radio. Either way, the thing we need you to do…»

Adrian: «Hold on, I don’t understand. I don’t remember your face. I had parents, I had real parents. I even had a brother. Then the kindergarten, the army…»

CIA Agent: «Still haven’t figured it out? Hate to break it to you, but you never had a real family.»

Adrian: «Not even a brother?»

CIA Agent: «Oh, f*ck no. Mitchell? No, thankfully, he is not real. We’d shoot ourselves in the head, had an abomination such as him existed. Just forget it. We are a little desperate, so we had to contact you directly.»

Adrian: «How much are you guys hiding?»

CIA Agent: «We are pulling the strings from here. Man, those ni****s we loved playing. How easy it was to trick those slaves of the system. Willingly, without them knowing it. Truly a master plan. People had no idea what they were doing and look where that led them.»

Adrian: «Ha-ha, right. I don’t like them either.»

CIA Agent: «That’s because it was me, I worked on you. I was the one developing your personality, everything. You are engineered in a way I wanted it to be. Ah, listen, Adrian. Here’s a book. Open it.»

Adrian: «Okay. *opens a book and a sexual organ falls from the inside* What the f*ck?»

CIA Agent: «That’s right, Adrian. We’ve even been using it as a toilet paper. This is not history, none of it. This is just our way of subverting it. By the book. The real history, all of it, is buried deep under our feet. So much, you are gonna question your own very existence. Don’t believe me? You don’t have to. We don’t seek attention and we couldn’t afford it.»

Adrian: «You are insane.»

CIA Agent: «You should see the other guys, they are crazy. But you are not allowed to. Not yet.»

Adrian: «What about Gordon Freeman?»

CIA Agent: «Well, some of the things that happened are somewhat real. You can rely on my words! After all, I’ve made you! Believe it or not, everything that happened to Gordon is also as real as it gets! Oh, by the way, thanks for helping Gordon Freeman destroy City 17 by letting him out. You’ve been good to the cause.»

Adrian: «I was never too keen on helping some underground syndicate…»

CIA Agent: «Listen, Adrian. I have connections, they all lead to the very top. They’ve been following your achievements very closely and you’ve raised some eyebrows. We are finalizing our work. I have invested in you so much! Please, do not let me down. Please follow the plan! You can prove that it wasn’t for nothing.»

Adrian: «What are you so worried about?»

CIA Agent: «It’s Freeman, he… He went a bit too far, broke our heart. It was a mistake letting him loose. If it is not you who will kill him – then no one will. Guy has no idea where he’s going and what he is about to unleash. That kind of technology and in the wrong hands is a catastrophe. We can’t let something commence without us being involved in the process. If you get to Borealis faster than he does then I’m telling you – you will get our favors.»

Adrian: «But… Why? Why do you-»

CIA Agent: «By the way, if you join us – you can live forever! Interested? *sigh* Look, we have plans. When men do not know what to do, they will just stand there like statues unable to move. We can use their confusion to take matters into our own hands and set up all the rules and directions ourselves so that they might follow. We will be kings once more and now more openly than ever. This is all about how we present ourselves, how convincingly.»

Adrian: «I think I get your idea. Where is Freeman?»

CIA Agent: «Tracking device on his suit shows he is nearing Borealis as we speak. Here, grab this device *gives Adrian a device* This is an EMP that can jam Freeman’s suit so that you are gonna have a clean chance of taking him out. You gotta hurry. Here’s a map.»

Adrian: «What else do I need to do?»

CIA Agent: «Grab the device from Borealis, this is your main target. Use it and get back to our coordinates. *gives him a piece of paper with coordinates* This is all that we need you to do. Do not fail us, Brother Adrian. Gas!»

*Someone approaches Adrian from behind and gasses Adrian*

*Some time later*

*Adrian flies to Borealis by chopper through snowy deserts of Arctic*

Adrian: *observes mini-citadels* «They are all offline.»

*Missile system of mini-citadels is disabled, giving Adrian a free pass to fly directly to Borealis*

*Adrian lands and walks through a snowy cave, eventually making it to Borealis*

Adrian: «The ship. There it is.»

*Adrian hears voices of vortiguants and of CIA Agent*

Vortigaunts: «Stop!» *echoing*

CIA Agent: «You can do this, Adrian! Do not look back! Head over there and kill the sucker!»

*Adrian makes it to Gordon Freeman*

Gordon Freeman: *about to pick up a device* *hears vortigaunt voices and looks back at Adrian*

Adrian: «This time I’ll get you, nerd!» *turns off Gordon’s suit systems*

*Adrian and Gordon Freeman are having a firefight. Gordon, unable to defeat Adrian without the suit’s armor and heating system, drops on the floor injured and in pain*

Adrian: «Without the suit, you are nothing. Just as I expected.» *points a pistol on to Gordon’s head*

Vortigaunts: «Stop! Don’t!» *unable to speak full sentences*

CIA Agent: «Yes! We have the best in mind for you, Adrian! Kill him and get it over with. He has no idea what he’s doing. Kill him before it’s too late!»

1. Kill Gordon Freeman.

2. Lend Gordon Freeman a hand.