So you want to make the TF2 Sandvich? Well you've come to the wrong place! We are going to make the PERFECT TF2 Sandvich!

You will need some ingredients to make the sandvich, those being:

• Yeast
  
• Sugar
  
• Water
  
• Lettuce
  
• Tomatoes
  
• Olives
  
• Cheese
  
• Ham & Bolonga/Engineer Brand Bacon
  
• Russian Cheese
  
• Bonk Atomic Punch/Crit-A-Cola (Optional)
  
• Dalokohs Bar (Optional)

You will also need some materials to birth your sandvich into existence, most of which can be bought at your nearest Merasmus's Cooking store. You will need:

• Magic Yeast-Growing Mixing Bowl
  
• Stirring Spoon
  
• Plates & Basic Cutlery
  
• Engi's Wrench
  
• Merasmus's Magic ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Microwave (MMMM)
  
• The Homeless Scout Outside Your House

Now that everything is prepared, you are ready to start making your perfect sandvich!

First, we need to bake your bread. Start off by mixing your yeast, sugar, and water into your magic mixing bowl and leave it to sit for exactly 763 seconds. If left out longer than wanted, your bread will turn into an self-aware monster, that if released, will cause havoc upon everybody in a 20 mile radius.
In case of bread turning into monster, fill a jar with your milk and store it in your fridge to later use as a weapon (not to be confused with the Self-Aware Beauty Mark.)

After 763 seconds, your magic mixing bowl would have turned your wet lump of yeast into a full loaf of bread. Use a bread knife (be careful, knifes are dangerous!) to cut your loaf into medium-sized slices. Ignore the muffled screams of terror coming from the bread, it is nothing to worry about.

Presto! You now have the first step of your sandvich completed!

For the second step of your sandvich-birthing experience, we will need the fillings.

Start off by placing your choice of meat on the bottom bread slice, followed by your cheese, tomatoes, and lettuce in that order. Do not listen to the voices, do not try to search for the source of the voices, they are only in your head.

T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗̳̭̜͇͒̀̓͋ T̶̫̝͓͉͔̖̲͎̱͆̆̀̅̽̾̽̄̆̈́͘H̸̹̲̘̟͇͙̣̱̖̞̮̔͜È̵̦̀̊́̈́̐̒͆̍̃Y̶̘͘͘ ̷̰̮̥̥͓̊̽͘͜Ą̴̧̞͖̙̠̮͈̼͍̦̭͋R̴̢̨̢̡͚͇̻͙̬̈͐͂̌̈̈́Ē̸̡̨̢̛̻͖̍̆̋̍̋͗͂̋̚̚̕͝ͅ ̴̖̬͙̠͚͙͚̯̫̼̫̺͚̤̌̑͐̂̃͗̃̓̂̄͐͝͝͠O̶̡̫͙̲̦͖̻̼͈̭̽̇͗̀̉͋͛͋͐̿͝͠͝ͅÑ̶̡͔̬̖̣̻͙̭̭̖̦̭̅̉̄̒̿̇͠L̶̡̛̙̫̺̥͖̎͆͐̏̎͂̒̓͊̕̚͘͜͝Y̵̡̡͚̱̟̰̟̞̘̔́̂̌̎͜ ̶̗͎̤͍͌͐̏͋͛́͠I̶̝͚͉̭͍͙̦͙͇͙͙͕̝͕̓N̵̩̮͑͌̊ ̸̠͓͍̜̪̼̄Y̶̤̩̏͊̔̈́͑̀̌̚͘͝Ọ̵͖̤͖̻̃̅͛̏̅̌Ų̷͈̻͇̮̤͐̅̓R̵̠̱͉̬̩͙͛̀̔̈́͝ ̵̧̘̩̼͔͇̗̗̪͛̇̄Ḩ̷́̀͗̅͐̓̚͝E̸̩̊̒͂͛͛̐̅̎͘̕͠͝A̶͓̣͔͚̠̫͔͋́͆͛̾̈̑̏̿̌͆̈́̏̀͜D̸̢̡̢̟̝̳̣̟̰̮̗͒̀̓͋

You will now notice that your s̸̎̍͜á̶̯̚n̵̡̦̆̎d̵̪̼̅̃v̴̖̀̓ị̸̘̈́̕c̸̝̒͘h̶͉̳̽ is pretty dry. To fix that, locate the homeless scout outside your house and invite him in for some tea. Lead him into a dimly lit r̸̙̄̊o̴̼͘͝õ̴͖̔m̶̼̝̓̈́ with no windows, preferably a basement. Tell him you are going to get the tea and shut the d̴͉̓̕ŏ̵͍̠̌ŏ̸̬ŕ̷̟̫̎ behind you. Grab the wrench you stole from è̸̪̝̳̺͙͕̹̹̰͇̣͛̾͋͒̐͘ṇ̴̨̦̥̜̤̘̭̼͙̪̹̌̊̏͐̐͘̕ͅͅg̸͔̖͕̺̱͍̜̹̬̟̖̭̊̈́͒̍̍̊̓ȋ̴̢̡̧̭͔̬̜͖̖͕͂͑͛̎͜͝ house and go back downstairs. Steal his life.

When you are finished, drench the sandvich in his b̸̧̥̻̻̯̊͐͐̉̈́̈͋́͋̈́̔̎̈́̚͝l̸̜̬̃̒͒̿̔͐̅̋̒̇̌͋͘̕͝ǒ̷͖̞͍͉̫̲̯̑́̾̈́̕ö̸͙̬̖̭̯̠̱̰́̍͐͑͂͒̓̆͂̋̂̚͘͜͠ͅd̵̢̧̢̢̻̲̺̤͎̲̫̫̲̹̾̂̈̚̕͜͝. Do it Do it Do it DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

Great job, you finished your sandvich!
To finish the r̵̠̥̪͇̳̣͕̟̦̜̗̹̯̞͎̉̈́͗̄͒͌̔͆͆̌̐͒͘͝͠i̵̛̺͇̯̫̙̼̺̣̍̉̏̂͋̋͗͐̈́͜ţ̴̡̥͇̺̲̙̂̉̽̍̽̑͂͌̃̓̂̚͝͠ư̶̞̱͕̫̠͕̣͙̳̹̫̹̺͈̒̾͊͒̉̂͜͠à̶̡̻̘̫̜̫͚͕͓̠̤̤̖̠l̵̨̬̘̣͚̫̖̟̖̜̭̼̮̼̀̄̍ just slice your sandvich diagonally into two halves and garnish with a
olive on a toothpick, holding the sandvich together. Throw that baby in the microwave and presto!

You can add a refreshing drink of Bonk Atomic Punch or Crit-A-Cola or you could have a delicious desert with the Dalokohs Bar!

Congratulations! You now have a perfect sandvich ready to be eaten!
But first, reflect upon what you've done. All of this destruction and chaos, all for a sandvich. Murdering innocent people, all for a sandvich. Ruining lives, all for a sandvich.

All. For. A. Sandvich.

Now go eat your sandvich, you sick ♥♥♥♥.