Doki Doki Literature Club

Doki Doki Literature Club

44 ratings
How to get b*tches
By FitGirl
YOU HAV NO B*TCHES?? AN YU WANT SUM'B*TCHES? FOLLOW THIS GUIDE AND YOU HAV A GURLFRIEND!
   
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So you want some b*tches, eh?
Wait, you meant in real life? HO HO HOOOO! NOOOOO. HELL NOOO! I meant in the game. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but since you play the game I know that you have no girlfriends in real life. And because you play this game, you won't get any b*tches in real life lmao. Anyways since we all men want to get some, just a little bit, happiness in our lives, I'm going to explain how to get each one of these girls in the game. Come on lad, don't be shy!
How to get Sayori?
So I know your tastes: Cute, blue eyes, always happy and full of life. She's a good one. Good choice! Anyways... But she has a darker side, you know? So in your poems, don't only go with cute and happy words. Here's a list of words for the perfect poem of Sayori:
adventure, alone, amazing, awesome,
beauty, bed, bliss, broken,
calm, charm, cheer, childhood, clumsy, color, comfort, cry,
dance, dark, daydream, dazzle, death, defeat, depression,
embrace, empty, excitement, extraordinary,
family, fear, feather, fireflies, fireworks, flower, flying, forgive, friends, fun,
grief,
happiness, heart, holiday, hope, hopeless, hurt,
joy,
laugh, lazy, loud, love, lucky,
marriage, memories, misery, misfortune, music,
nature,
ocean,
pain, party, passion, peaceful, play, prayer, precious, promise,
rainbow, raincloud, romance, rose,
sadness, scars, shame, silly, sing, smile, sparkle, special, sunny, sunset, sweet,
tears, together, tragedy, treasure,
unrequited,
vacation,
warm, wonderful



But you know? she ain't a keeper... Whatever you do, you won't hold her long enough. So take your chances with Natsuki, Yuri and Monika.




How to get Yuri?
So, you are a man of culture. Exquisite choice. You have an excellent taste brother. You like tall women and also like the color purple. Naaahhh fam... You just here for the BOOBIIIEEESSSSS! Don't worry 90% of all players went for Yuri too!



She's elegant and thou very shy. Let's check her word list:
Afterimage, Agonizing, Ambient, Analysis, Anxiety, Atone, Aura
Breathe
Cage, Captive, Climax, Contamination, Covet, Crimson
Desire, Destiny, Determination, Disarray, Disaster, Disoriented, Despise, Disown, Dream
Effulgent, Electricity, Entropy, Essence, Eternity, Existence, Explode, Extreme
Fester, Fickle, Flee, Frightening
Graveyard
Heavensent, Horror
Imagination, Incapable, Incongruent, Infallible, Inferno, Infinite, Insight, Intellectual
Journey, Judgment
Lust, Landscape
Massacre, Meager, Melancholy
Philosophy, Pleasure, Portrait
Question
Raindrops
Secretive, Sensation, Starscape, Suicide
Tenacious, Time
Uncontrollable, Uncanny, Unending, Universe, Unrestrained, Unstable
Variance, Vertigo, Vibrant, Vitality, Vivacious, Vivid
Whirlwind, Wrath

So intelligent choice of words. But be careful: Don't give her too much hope and keep her away from knives :)
How to get Natsuki?
WAIT WHAT? REALLY?! That's kinda sus bro...
HEEY DON'T LIE TO ME WALT! YOU SUSSY BAKA.


BRO GOT YOU IN 4K, smile to the camera!


GO TO SUSSY BAKA JAIL >>>

Anyways... I guess you look for a smaller girl. I know she's 18, so don't worry, everyone have their own tastes, as they say. And I guess you like the color pink? Let's check out the word list for our little girl with daddy issues:
anger, anime,
blanket, boop, bouncy, bubbles, bunny,
candy, cheeks, chocolate, clouds, cute,
doki-doki,
email,
fantasy, fluffy,
games, giggle,
hair, headphones, heartbeat, hop,
jump, jumpy,
kawaii, kiss, kitty,
lipstick, lollipop,
marshmallow, melody, milk, mouse,
nibble, nightgown,
papa, parfait, peace, pink, playground, poof, pout, puppy, pure,
ribbon,
shiny, shopping, skipping, skirt, socks, spinning, sticky, strawberry, sugar, summer, swimsuit,
twirl,
valentine, vanilla,
waterfall, whisper, whistle

So you like to be bullied, mistreated and still be able to feed them, here ya go. The perfect choice: Natsuki. JUST DON'T FORGET TO BRING SOME SNACKS TO FEED HER!
How to get Monika?
So it is our last section before farewell, as I'd call. Monika, Monika, Monika... A control-freak, psychomaniac girlfriend. I guess, if you have mommy issues, you should definitely go for her. I mean she is definitely smashable. But you know that she went for a killing-spree, just to get%#&*HE*@*(!*)...

JUST PICK MONIKA!
JUST CHOOSE MONIKA!
JUST MONIKA!
Just Monika.


Forget the other girls. Monika is perfect. YES! She's the one. THE ONLY ONE.

She will look out for you forever. She will adore you forever. She will love you forever.



ooooohhh btw... Did you see her bikini body?

Outro and thanks.
Thank you for tuning in, I hope you picked Monika.

Don't forget to check out the guide "How to save the girls"!
Link: https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2535664183&searchtext=how+to+save

Have a good one.

PS: I really hope for all of us to get b*tches we deserve in the future... :')
10 Comments
Silv3r 19 Nov, 2022 @ 9:35pm 
Thank you
Beast Clarke 7 Nov, 2022 @ 11:28pm 
realest shit i ever read
wexzs 29 Oct, 2022 @ 9:53am 
thanks i alredy gave natsuki my 1m 500k worth csgo karambit :steamhappy:
BABABO 28 Oct, 2022 @ 4:27pm 
this helped me so much get virtual bitches that i gifted the most expensive thing i saw
76561199089444050 28 Oct, 2022 @ 4:12am 
Just Monika
Big Spooky 26 Oct, 2022 @ 2:01pm 
my reaction to that information:
wexzs 26 Oct, 2022 @ 12:40pm 
natsuki susi baka
Doctor Sex 23 Oct, 2022 @ 11:47pm 
My honest, sincere reaction to the information you have provided me:
-Kurisu 23 Oct, 2022 @ 8:43am 
Boobies
callmehenry233577 22 Oct, 2022 @ 9:26am 
Thanks for the epic advice.