Welcome to Dr. Snap's L4D2 bible. This arrangement shall serve as the one-stop-shop for all those not just looking to up their game, but to pave the way to the top of the L4D community hierarchy and beyond.

This guide was composed by none other than... you guessed it, Dr. Snap himself. A top guru in the field of everything. A master in the art of gamer.

No one knows who or what this “Doctor” is, or if he’s even a real doctor. Several eye-witness accounts describe this force of nature…

"Who is he? Well, if you don't know, you're better off not knowing. In a world of lies, half-truths, and downright fakes, you can't be bothered to find out. So, I'll tell you anyway. You see, this Dr. Snap is the greatest, most cunning, and evil character ever to grace the stage of the universal theater. He has no fixed personality, no fixed appearance, and no fixed address. Where he lives at any given moment no one knows."

"Now, the man is an agent of world-wide conspiracy. Not only does he know too much, but he's afraid. If you'll turn your back for a moment, you'll see he's the sort of man who has an electric bell on his desk, a wire to his right ear, and a revolver in his hip pocket."

"The idea (of Dr. Snap) was conceived in a madhouse. He is not merely an evil-looking man, but he's an evil-looking man with a maniacal sense of humor. He is the product of insane persons, but he's not insane. He is not insane, but he is certainly something."

"So clever is the man (Dr. Snap) that he can deceive people and get them to do the most abominable acts. He has succeeded in getting rich men to do the most abominable things, and he is about as abominable as the world has yet seen. He is the modern incarnation of evil."

"He isn't just some LARPer that can wave his hands around and make your life better, man. He's the REAL deal, and he's got a lot to offer you."

"What you will find when you get to know this man will amaze you. It is very strange to watch him. He is a mystery. We know that he is clever, but we do not know how. When you know him, you will know he is no fool; he is not mad, and he is not entirely insane, but something is wrong somewhere."

Well, the truth is we don't know. You only know patterns of what MIGHT be real; that's the best your primary senses could accomplish after all those years of living in caves and bushes.
We don't see the naked reality, and that's good for the sake of our sanity, but it isn't good for us.

We only see patterns – but even worse, we see patterns that are ONLY RELEVANT TO US.
So, in a relationship, a partner might be cheating, and the other partner just won't believe that. The other partner won't consciously pay attention to the patterns in the air, but they are there. Primarily they are so hard to believe – just why in the hell would they cheat? What reason would they have? They would never, or so you would expect. It’s an impossible reality, until it manifests itself. That’s hell, man. That’s the forbidden grounds. That’s the unexplored territory where all the monsters reside.

This is where the concept of the "third eye" originated. We instinctually, unconsciously, notice things that are off in the objective world, even if we cannot consciously see them. Things that might rattle us to our very core if they are truth, or are just too foreign a concept. It is mostly through the dream (or the nightmare) that the reality of a situation is hinted at.

The unconscious suspicion is no joke. Collective dreams of war, before war, have been recorded throughout history. What is it that lives inside ourselves, that notifies ourselves, of what's happening outside of ourselves? From a study conducted in 2009...[www.scientificamerican.com]

A new study published last week in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences finds that emotional contagion occurs even if the "seeing" step is bypassed. The blind patients in the study could not consciously see images of the faces of happy or fearful people that they were shown. Although their eyes and optic nerves were functional, the region of their brains involved in visual processing had been damaged. Instead, other parts of the brain took over, allowing the subjects to still respond normally with their own happy or scared facial expressions. These patients also made the appropriate happy or fearful face in response to emotions that were communicated through bodily expressions, suggesting that blind empathy can happen even without a facial template to imitate.

Truly I tell you, some realities are too horrifying or too unknown a concept for us to consciously see, but they still find their way to us, and they start torturing us in our sleep.



We don't see the objective reality, but after enough pain and suffering, the patterns of what might be real are real enough, and that's good enough. And it is in this guide, after 2,000 years worth of playtime, I have concocted a list of things that are real enough, and should help you survive the ruthless virtual lands of Left 4 Dead 2 – not just the zombies, but the players as well.

Translation by "Alc, The Cracker"
Geometries 1:1 “Fear not the man who has played every map,”
Geometries 1:2 “fear the map that has played every man.”


Source worlds are fascinating. Small pocket universes devoid of life... kind of like modern cities.

That is of course, until the players say otherwise. All it takes is the narcissistic desire by others and the server is hijacked to populate the once tranquil slumber of the unliving walls and floors and paint them with the blood of endless enemies.

But what if I told you, some of the walls and floors aren’t so unliving? I certainly don’t wish to imply they are alive, but some entries in the developer console might say otherwise….


Alright, so some objects in the game might be sentient. That’s important, because then the question arises of HOW SENTIENT are they, exactly? They certainly aren’t playing the game. They don’t speak in chat. They don’t exactly move at all, at least, not without interaction from something to trigger it first. What makes them “think”?

Well, that’s neither here nor there. It seems to be the case that some objects in the game are thinking.

As we’ve learned from René Descartes, when a thing thinks, it is.

So, it’s alive, but what is alive? Well, to figure that out, we must to appeal to it. That leads us to the question, “how could one possibly appeal to a thinking object?”


Translation by "Alc, The Cracker"
Geometries 2:1 - "Close your refrigerator if you don't want your house to freeze,"
Geometries 2:2 - "open your refrigerator if you don't want your house to burn,"
Geometries 2:3 - "what comes between keeping the refrigerator open or close? This answer is simple: the door."
Geometries 2:4 - "Ensure the door is closed, but the window to opening the door, remains open."
Geometries 2:5 - “This can easily be accomplished by installing a door handle on the refrigerator,"
Geometries 2:6 - "but unfortunately, you cannot install a door handle on people's mouths."
Geometries 2:7 - "Let them open their mouth and your house will freeze, and freeze."
Geometries 2:8 - "Let them keep their mouth shut and your house will burn, and burn."


Before we continue further with appeasing thinking objects in the Source world, we must understand the “wrong-loser” philosophy. Wrong-losers infect our day-to-day lives. They manifest wrong-loser spells that enter our brains and turn our consciousness into mush.

To spot a wrong-loser, it is simple. Look at their reactions. If they refuse to look at you when you heal them, then you can conclude the chances of their brain following is very low and they are a wrong-loser. If their eyes are too still and movement is too sporadic, or their eyes are sporadic but their movement is still, this is definitely a wrong-loser. There is a very high chance they are trying to cheat, or lie to you.

If you’re still having trouble, wrong-losers will manifest themselves in your dreams (as we talked about in an earlier section: what is REAL). Now you might be asking, “how can one resort to dreaming mid-game?” And my answer is, we’re always dreaming. We’re always putting dots together.
Have you ever wanted to use a particular word for a situation, but you can’t think of one? So, you switch your conscious focus towards something else, and suddenly that word comes to you a few minutes later with ease.

Wait long enough, and trust your “third eye”, and hopefully the truth of the wrong-loser will manifest to you before he manifests himself.

So how do you counter the wrong-losers? You close the doors on them. Later in this guide, when I teach you how to stay in front of the team without getting gunned down, the opportunity to slam the door shut on a wrong loser will be with you, always. Nothing is more satisfying than shutting a door on a wrong loser while he’s getting chased by a tank, or a witch.


Going back to our thinking object conundrum – Snap only knows what objects in L4D2 are actually thinking. From the picture I included, we have identified that the func_door is thinking on some level. So how do we appease the door?

So, one thing is for certain: nobody likes a wrong-loser. Stigmatizing wrong-losers is a universal language, and what better way to communicate salutations to thinking objects than utilizing universal communication?

Believe it or not, this proposition came to me in a dream one night, I found myself playing on a relatively large map, adorned with many doors. Above each door was a sticker; one of those annoying political stickers. I told one of the doors I’m not interested, then I opened it. The door slammed shut and locked, then a tank spawned behind me and killed me instantly. I respawned and told another door I AM interested; it opened and revealed a room full of medkits.

It was then that I knew what I had to do, I had to stop all the wrong-losers that were coming through. The next morning, I booted up L4D2 and immediately went on a spree of door-blocking teammates. Unfortunately, some were right-doers who fell victim to my experiment, and I may have been put on some people’s ♥♥♥♥-list for eternity, and I apologize, but one thing was for certain: the wrong-losers got what they deserved.

Another thing was for certain, for each wrong-loser who got shut on, the game awarded me more medkits than usual, and we weren’t even low on health. When I shut the door on right-doers, the game punished me with jockeys above my head. More jockeys than I had ever seen before in my 2,000 hours.

Translation by “Alc, The Cracker”
Hierarchies 1:1 - “There once was a chicken,”
Hierarchies 1:2 - “his name was Mike”
Hierarchies 1:3 - “and he lived for 18 months without a head.”
Hierarchies 1:4 - “It says a lot about chickens if they can still operate without their head on straight.”


Chickens are wonderful creatures, but they are extreme. You could put only a few in a wide-open field and they will still harass each other when it comes to food.

Humans are deadly creatures. The deadliest, as a matter of fact; and I'm not just talking the savagery of the atomic bomb though that is one factor. Difference is, we know exactly how to hurt, and even worse, we know how to keep our prey alive.

Our enemies are archetypally, behaviorally, and biologically understood. Does the chicken know about friendly fire in L4D2? It does not, that makes them wrong losers, and they deserve to have a door shut in front of them, but that’s neither here nor there.

What IS here, is me… in front of the team. So don’t shoot me.
Sound good? No, because there is that one individual that will always try to one-up you.

If the chicken can operate without a head, then that says something about their philosophy.
If they must attack each other when there is plenty of food, that says something about their philosophy.

If players feel the need to hop in front of you when there’s plenty of space around, that says something about their philosophy.

Just as there is enough food for the flock, there is enough zombies for the team. Just as the greedy chicken demands correction from the alpha chicken, the greedy loser demands correction from the alpha player. Do not be afraid to administer some “pecks” to whoever’s giving you trouble. If a fight breaks out – hey, that’s just how hierarchies must be settled in the animal kingdom.
Of course, don’t do something drastic that takes too much of their health. This isn’t a guide about trolling; as a matter of fact, it’s a guide you probably should’ve stopped wasting your time on long ago, but do be a sweetheart and keep reading.

Translation by "Alc, The Cracker"
Hierarchies 2:1 - "This man cannot climb the fence."
Hierarchies 2:2 - "He is surely lost,"
Hierarchies 2:3 - "not because he is a fool, but because he is part of the Internal Revenue Service."


In 1936, there was a man. He was tall, and consequently he was a genius because he was tall. His name was Cyrus Medlock, and for 20 years he had been trying to prove that all of our senses are limited. What Cyrus didn't know was that Dr. Snap had already covered this, so Dr. Snap punished Cyrus with 70 years of solitary confinement.

Medlock went insane in prison. The doctors thought that he had "Permanent Schizophrenia" because he kept speaking of Dr. Snap’s damnation. Medlock would escape his cell two times a day, but he’d constantly find himself in the prison’s kitchen area fixing appliances that he broke himself. The prison guards noticed the appliances were about 50% more efficient after each repair, so he was assigned as the prison’s repairman. After creating a godlike kitchen appliance system, Medlock was diagnosed with a kitchen appliance fetish.

He was eventually assigned a sewage pipe repair job, but ultimately the guards found out appliance repair does not translate well with pipeline repair, at least not in Medlock’s case. Medlock ended up botching the prison’s whole pipe system, causing a lethal biohazardous leak. Medlock fled the destroyed prison and lived in a cave for the better part of three days.

Each day, he created an advertisement video for his kitchen appliance repair service using a laptop he stole from the prison. Hoping someone would adopt his services so he could return to his normal life, the small-time enterprise came to an end when he was abducted by IRS agents.


The IRS demanded Cyrus pay thousands of dollars’ worth in taxes to compensate for the total destruction of the prison. Cyrus declined, for he didn’t even have a penny. The IRS punished Cyrus with 70 years of solitary confinement.

Cyrus, through extreme therapy, gave up his kitchen appliance repair fetish in favor of extreme athleticism, mostly because it was the only option in this new prison facility. After an undisclosed number of years of extreme exercise, he broke out of the cell doors using only his fists, and made a run for it. One small issue, the prison guards were now zombies. He fought the zombies with his bare hands, and learned from a TV in the security room that a contagion known as the “green flu” was spreading fast.

Cyrus took on a whole army of zombie prison guards before finally leaving the fortress and making it to a nearby cave, where he pondered the past, present, and future, before being hunted by the zombie IRS.
The zombie IRS threatened to sentence him to death, but to everyone’s surprise, Dr. Snap stepped in. Snap explained that Medlock’s 70-year damnation had come to an end, and that he could be free.

However, Dr. Snap was angered by the zombie IRS’ actions and treatment of Cyrus. Snap decided to let Cyrus choose a curse that would haunt the zombie IRS for eternity. Medlock requested that all IRS zombies be crippled from climbing if they are beneath the feet of the uninfected.

Thus, edge-blocking was born.


There’s this one spot on Dark Carnival’s finale that I ALWAYS go to. I am practically a god, and I’m not just talking about in this particular scenario, but that’s neither here nor there.




Point is, you are literally unstoppable in these kinds of spots. You simply have to stand over any spot where the most zombies are climbing, and you will block them. Here’s another spot on “the Parish”.

Translation by "Master Gino"
Hierarchies 3:1 - "It was the hundredth day of SNAP’s complaints,"
Hierarchies 3:2 - "finally, he said, ‘behold! I have ranked the wrong losers by the severity of their infractions!’"
Hierarchies 3:3 - "SNAP requested your block list grow several times."


We’ve already discussed wrong-losers. But what if I told you there’s multiple flavors? Well, there is. I must give you spoilers though, there isn’t much of a “guide” in this section, just observations by the SNAP.

Perhaps your mind will concoct some sort of antidote to these troublemakers. Let us know – but the SNAP knows all as far as we are concerned, and the SNAP has yet to find a solution.

At the very top of the wrong-loser pyramid lies the worst transgressors. The most insufferable.

Gaming is one thing. Gaming with friends is another. Trolling with friends? It’s no joke, especially if you're on the receiving end.

Nothing in the vast L4D2 experience is more excruciating than coming across a trolling duo. In a team of four, you can't kick them. They plan their stratagems in secret on a third-party platform, like Discord. They practically own the lobby. There’s no other way around it but to leave.

Maybe you just wanted to play an innocent game of Dead Center, until a couple butt buddy wrong-losers came along and left you and your mate in the dust. And what happens if you try to one-up them? They'll just kill you. It's no joke, man.

On very rare occasions, you might even come across a trolling trio. THAT is hell, man. It's NO joke.

Taking out the trash with a good block is hardly revenge. They typically leave you with a sour taste in your mouth.

To go even more in-depth, these types of wrong-losers leave you and your pals in the dust. They activate all the events and screw up the flow of the map with huge hordes you aren't prepared for. When a Special Infected puts them in their place (very rarely does the AI Director give a ♥♥♥♥ about rushers over stragglers. Good programming, Valve), they assume it’s their long-gone team to blame, and then they leave.

Other times? They make it to the saferoom, and just sort of stand around awkwardly waiting while the slowpokes catch up. Nothing a good Molotov in the saferoom can’t fix... but that’s neither here nor there.

The point is, it makes no sense to SNAP why you would waste your time performing such shenanigans on public servers. Why not do it in a private game, where you don't have to worry about getting kicked or having to wait for the rest of your teammates to catch up with you? Brainless.

If you're like me, you usually change your pace depending on how fast the rest of the team is going, and this subgenre of rushers can be even more frustrating when that's the case.

They'll make you think it's a speedrun... until it's not. Then you end up rushing ahead thinking your team is with you... when they're not.

I've yet to meet a force as destructive as human assumption.

The “assumer” puts the “wrong” in wrong-loser. The assumer, as you’ve probably assumed, assumes their target. Maybe he gets shot by one guy but blames somebody else. Maybe the game has already spelled out who’s guilty of alerting a horde, but the assumer assumes another. The “assumer” is the type of wrong-loser who’s blind with his judgements, and consequently he’ll make someone's life miserable... just not the transgressor. Assume the worst with the assumer.

So, you've found a decent server with a decent team. Excellent. That alone is a challenge with this game’s terrible matchmaker.
Whoops, never mind, they left. For what? Who knows, only they do, and it’s too late to ask them now. The “disconnector” wrong-loser is mostly in it for the fancy loading screens, and/or the thrill of sitting in the lobbies.

While harmless, it is still an odd and frustrating breed of wrong-loser nonetheless – and they open the door for other potential wrong-losers.

That only wrong-loser worse than the common team killer is… a team killer who waits. This one fools you into making you think they are a great addition to the team, until they aren’t. Snakes in the grass.

That one guy that decides to stay in a server as he travels the IRL world. Maybe he’s off to climb Mount Everest, or he's set his sights high on building the greatest enterprise the world has ever seen. Whatever the case may be, his spirit lives on as the nametag for a braindead bot that fights in countless matches on his behalf.

What’s worse than one AFK? You guessed it.

I have seen cases of butt buddies sitting in lobbies for the sole purpose of wasting people’s time. Wrong-losers that tell you to “wait”, but they never come back. Just… why?

The guy that pretty much just started playing FPS last week and is still figuring out how to shoot. Not much else needs to be said here.

The guy (typically a Bill with a thousand hours) who feels the need to dictate everything you do; how you handle weapons, items, etc.

Before any gauntlet event, you'll see them orchestrating gas can placements like the fate of the game depends on it.

SNAP forbid you make a wrong move. Maybe you accidentally shot one of those gas cans, or you started the horde event a little too early... prepare for their (usually verbal) wrath.

Imagine this scenario:
You and your team have been fighting a horde for a good minute. Suddenly, the escape window opens.

You and two other mates get through, but one small issue arises: there’s a straggler.

The three of you – mostly in safety – are all in the green, but the straggler's health is diminishing quickly as a horde oppresses him. You and someone else has a pipe bomb, what do you do?

Perhaps the logical choice here would be… one of you throws a pipe bomb, right? And maybe, you try shoving the commons off the straggler and help them get to safety?

But alas, this is (ironically) Left 4 Dead. In the heat of the moment, you likely aren’t going to have teammates that are so shrewd.
I was the straggler, and this exact scenario happened to me, which inspired this portion of the guide. For the love of SNAP, don’t be this kind of wrong-loser – the one who just sits in the saferoom/elevator/whatever and gawks at a struggling teammate getting ravaged by a horde. You know damn well you could do something about it.

Translation by "Master Gino"
Hierarchies 4:1 – “I’m feeling a little tingle,”
Hierarchies 4:2 – “like that of an electric charge in the air.”
Hierarchies 4:3 – “A swelling in the soul,”
Hierarchies 4:4 – “a prickling,”
Hierarchies 4:5 – “an itching,”
Hierarchies 4:6 – “a tickling,”
Hierarchies 4:7 – “a feeling of suspense.”
Hierarchies 4:8 – “But worst of all...”
Hierarchies 4:9 – “I'm feeling a sharp, piercing pain...”
Hierarchies 4:10 – “As if I had just been shot by an AK47 with laser sights.”
Hierarchies 4:11 – “Therefore I say unto thee, the AK47 with laser sights is the greatest weapon in the game of life.”


SNAP only knows how many idiots it takes to kill a horde of zombies. In some cases, all it takes is one person. In other cases, not even the team’est of four can save the world.
Whatever the case may be, they still need one important tool: a weapon.

But that begs the question… what is the best weapon to fight a horde of zombies? Well I'll tell you.

Every weapon class has at least two variations that (somewhat) specialize in either long or close range.

• For SMGs, the UZI has the best accuracy but the lowest damage output, while the silenced MAC-10 has the best damage output but the lowest accuracy. The MP5 is somewhere in the middle.
  
• Of the three assault rifles, the SCAR specializes in long-range damage, and the AK specializes in close-range damage. The M16 is somewhere in the middle.
  
• For the tier 1 shotguns, the chrome has less spread and the pump has more pellets. For tier 2, the SPAS has less spread and the Combat has more pellets.
  
• For snipers, the hunting rifle is more of a "run and shoot" rifle. The military sniper is the opposite, but makes up for it with a larger clip size. I'd honestly recommend the military sniper; if you want accuracy, just stop and aim.
  
• For the CSS snipers... hell if I know, man. Bolt actions don't belong in a horde shooter, but that's neither here nor there.

Every weapon has its strengths and weaknesses (except the CSS snipers, which are objectively terrible). It all depends on the environment you're in. In a closed environment, you'll probably want an AK or combat shotgun to decimate everything in your path. Medium range means a SPAS or M4 might come in handy. Any further and the SCAR or sniper rifles would be ideal.

it also depends on how good your aim is. If you have good accuracy, the SCAR and snipers may prove to be deadly at any range.

Every now and then the game will award you with these glorious pieces of equipment that makes you so much better at killing people. The first time I got the laser sight, I was so happy I ran around the yard for a bit.

They are intended to improve the accuracy of whatever weapon you’re using. Pair a laser sight with a high-damage/close-range firearm, and you’re on your way to victory. The MAC-10, AK, and military sniper become hands down the greatest weapons in the game when you outfit them with a laser sight. I had planned on shoehorning the term “wrong-laser” somewhere in this section but couldn’t get around to it, so here it is, even if it makes no sense whatsoever. Better late than never.

I'll be honest with you...the pistols are fantastic. Yeah, I said it.

Sure, the Magnum is a good CI one-shotter for all game modes, especially when the commons are THICK with Health. On the other hand, pistols...

• They have a magazine of 15. 30 if dual-wielded!
  
• Dual-wielded deals more damage per second + per clip than the Magnum.
  
• They are especially powerful if you know how to score headshots.

On lower difficulties like Normal or Advanced, I would argue that the Magnum is just... detrimentally overkill. It's bulky and slow. It's TERRIBLE at dealing with special infected. I truly believe It's less efficient than just pulling out the old reliables.

It's pretty obvious, melee weapons are HIGHLY advantageous for getting a horde off your back. Sharp melees such as axes, machetes, and crowbars can also cut the tongues of smokers, meaning a well-timed swing can save your ass if you're alone (assuming the game doesn't screw you over with terrible hit detection.)

But different circumstances call for different arrangements. It is recommended that you use melee alongside a ranged primary. It is recommended to stick with pistols when using a shotgun. Ultimately though... it all depends on what you're feeling, what the team's using, and what map you're on.

What is the best melee? The machete by far. I was going to make a tier list but the only site I could find required me to sign up via Twitter and I don't give a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ about some zoomer normie social media TRASH.
So I did it the ancient way, via formatting.

S tier - machete
A tier - chainsaw
B tier - everything that isn't the pitchfork
F tier - the pitchfork

"Why do you hate the pitchfork?" you ask?

Well, for starters, the pitchfork animations are goofy. The first swing animation has your character swinging vertically. Very detrimental in a hectic situation where you have to fight a surrounding horde.

I also had some nasty words to say about the knife, but a recent update changed my opinion. The knife is now part of B tier. A passable melee.

Searching through this guide:
https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=130353540
...and just overall experience from playing the game has taught me one thing: many of the CSS weapons are NOT good.

If there's one thing you've probably noticed about a lot of the vanilla ranged weapons, it's that they have a yin-yang to them.

For example, the UZI trades damage for accuracy. The MAC-10 trades accuracy for damage. And so on and so forth.

But then there's the MP5. While it's supposed to be the "common ground" (like the M16, between the SCAR and AK), it has one shortcoming: its reload time is horrendously slow, making it worse than the trio. as a matter of fact, I would have to position the MP5 just above the CSS snipers. "At least it isn't a bolt-action".

In regards to the Steyr Scout and AWP, I think an argument against their existence is self-evident.

We hold these truths to be sacred & undeniable, that Left 4 Dead 2 is a game of multitude and motion. Rifles of single shot and slow reload, being inconsistent with the nature and design of this entertainment, are unfit and impractical for most occasions, as the foes of this diversion are ever swift and near. The only circumstance in which these arms would be serviceable is when no other choice is afforded.

The one and only saving grace (sort of) in the CSS weapon collection: the SG552. Sadly, however, any chance it has at rising above the heap is debilitated, given its reload time is apparently bugged.

Grenades. Everyone loves them, especially me, because I know how and when to use them effectively.

You can love grenades as much as I do, if you know how to use them. Let's get started.

Grenades are designed to deter or destroy large numbers of infected. Whether to distract them, wipe them out, or both. There are three types of grenades in the game: Molotovs, Pipe Bombs, and Gall Jars.

Molotovs create an area of flame that can kill a mass of common infected in an instant. When a horde is approaching, it is best to drop a molotov in a liminal space. No, I'm not talking about the backrooms or some stupid dribble. I'm talking about the space between two areas, or a doorway. The space that connects one area to another. Yes, that's how the word should be used.

Molotovs are also extremely useful for killing tanks, especially if you find yourself in a situation where you or your team are unable to dedicate yourselves to such a task, i.e. you are all out of ammo, or a horde is harassing you.

Molotovs are also colossally helpful if you're dealing with a wrong-loser who's getting on your nerves and you need to take them down with shock and awe. Just make sure you don't embarrass yourself and fall victim to your own inferno.
You can also create a chain reaction with propane tanks, other gas cans, etc. Helpful if you've set them up properly.

Where Molotovs are not useful are witches. I see a lot of people make the mistake of throwing a molly at a witch, assuming it'll take care of them instantly, only to be shredded to bits a few seconds later. A burning Witch is just as deadly as a regular Witch when they are on the hunt.

It's especially tragic if you end up burning a witch who's after someone else, because then she'll just come after you. This happens frequently when teammates have fire ammo. This can lead to cases where multiple teammates get taken down by a single witch. It's no joke, man.

Pipe Bombs specialize in directing hordes to a specific area and blowing them to smithereens. A well-thrown pipe can be game-changing in some situations. It can save your life, buy time for a downed teammate, get a horde off someone's back, etc.

Against special infected, pipes are useless. Especially tanks... UNLESS you can time one just right, you could probably push a tank off a cliff somewhere. But good luck with that... handsome...

Remember how I mentioned earlier that pipe bombs can determine the fate of the game? Well, bile bombs are like that on an ethereal level. In some rare cases, you might need a bile bomb to get past certain areas on certain difficulties.

The nice thing about bile bombs is that they attract ALL the infected on the map, whereas pipes have a limited area of attraction. This means that you can throw a bile bomb out of bounds and it'll effectively freeze all the infected for a considerable amount of time, or prevent them from spawning at all. This is extremely useful in infinite horde cases, such as...

• Some instances in Dead Center where you must retrieve the Cola (second map) or disable the alarm (third map).
  
• Dark Carnival’s infinite gauntlet before entering the arena. Note that bile bombs are super rare in this campaign for this reason.
  
• The run to the final saferoom on Death Toll, after lowering the forklift.
  
• The infinite horde bridge run near the end of Blood Harvest.
  
• The terminal on the penultimate map of Dead Air.
  
• The Sacrifice, when someone has to restart the generator to end the game.

All of this can be turned into a walk in the park by simply throwing a bile out of bounds or far away. So keep that in mind.

Now, the thing about bile bombs is that, when used incorrectly, can quickly become a problem instead of a solution.

In cases where there are no hordes around, the bile jar will spawn its own hordes. Keep that in mind before you end up throwing a bile jar at a tank/witch like an absolute wrong-loser would do, because guess what? That’s just going to needlessly summon zombies that get in the way and chase you some time later.

I have seen a lot of cases where people think that it is so smart to toss a jar at a tank or a witch. Worse, they keep doing it. And they keep getting overpowered by commons, and they keep getting maimed by the tank/witch. But they keep doing it. Because the idea that actions have consequences is beyond comprehension.

Throwing bile at a witch is not wise under any circumstances. She runs faster than commons, and the commons will likely just block you when you're trying to run from her.

There are very rare cases, and I mean RARE cases, where throwing a bile jar at a tank is a good idea, and that's when a horde is already present. Say, someone shoots an alarm car, or someone got hit by a Boomer while the tank is active? An opportunity arises.
It's worth noting, biled tanks are more important than biled survivors, which leads us to the next section...

The "Attention Hierarchy", AKA what the common infected are most attracted to. It is as follows:

Active pipe bomb > Biled infected > Biled survivors > Biled area

As you can see, bile on its own is useless if a survivor has been vomited on, but its useful if you throw it at a horde, or a powerful special, since those are greater attention targets than biled survivors.

But above all else, the pipe bomb reigns supreme. Truly the attention ♥♥♥♥♥ of the throwables.

But wait... rumor has it, if you throw a bile on a tank/witch/special, other special infected/tanks will attack them as well. But I do not know how certain or reliable this tactic is, so it is not included in the hierarchy.

"Translation by "Master Gino"
Tactics 1 1:1 - “A sitting common is just as dangerous as a chasing common,”
Tactics 1 1:2 - “a calm tank is just as dangerous as an angry tank,”
Tactics 1 1:3 - “an invisible hunter is just as dangerous as a visible hunter,”
Tactics 1 1:4 - “an empty area is just as dangerous as an area overrun by a horde.”


There was this one time I joined a server, we were traveling through the train tunnel on Blood Harvest, right before the bridge section. The Director was in its usual “relaxed” state, you know? Not much going on. A few commons up ahead but nothing too major.

Suddenly, I turned a corner – a boomer showed up and blinded me, I spray-fired into a horde of commons, then that somehow activated a Witch, then a spitter showed up from behind.

Within a span of 10 seconds, I was incapacitated, covered in vomit and spit, and surrounded by a horde of zombies. It took me back to that time when I was attacked by Half-Life: Alyx fans for speaking ill of Half-Life: Alyx, because the most Half-Life lore we’ve gotten in 10+ years is through a VR-exclusive retconning cash grab for the series’ worst character on a platform that will be obsolete within 2 years, but that’s neither here nor there.

What IS here? That’s not to imply I can’t come up with anything for this section. The point is... check your corners. you never know when the game’s going to be throwing a curveball at you.
It’s also important to check your corners because you never know when a zombie is literally buried in a corner somewhere. Seriously, those guys are the worst. You think you’ve cleared a room, you enter it, suddenly there’s a zombie slapping you on the ass because he was hidden in the corner. That’s a mild inconvenience, man. It's no joke.

If there is one thing the developers did right with this game, it is NOT the matchmaking system. Seriously, why am I getting put in modded Chinese servers? I live across the world for crying out loud. Anyways, if there’s one thing they did RIGHT, it was making a few seconds change the whole outcome of the game.

A moment of peace can quickly turn into a life-or-death scenario. Maybe all three specials got activated AND a horde is coming. Maybe all that is spawning right on top of you. And all it takes is one charging fool (wrong-loser) to rush in and suddenly, a Tank is activated. That is hell, man.

Translation by “Alc, The Cracker”
Tactics 2:1 - “He had eyes like a bird. He was covered with a cloak of darkness.”
Tactics 2:2 - “His face was terrible like that of a beast, and his vision clouded by fiery coal.”
Tactics 2:3 - “He was as old as the world. His hair grey as wool. He had aged ungracefully as if being unfulfilled for a lifetime.”
Tactics 2:4 - “His hands comprised of slippery serpents, and he held in his right hand a head that seemed to be a starved mouse,”
Tactics 2:5 - “he had the brawn of an ape and the mind of a madman, and he had the voice of a devil speaking its usual nonsense.”
Tactics 2:6 - “It was the most pitiful and unfortunate thing.”
Tactics 2:7 - “And on that day, SNAP named him the ‘rage quitter’.”


Learn from Santa, the ultrawizard.

Lists are part of the three most magical abilities humans have. Second being writing, and third being the spoken word. We keep lists for all sorts of things, like to-do lists, or shopping lists, or the exact coordinates of the many special products we’ve had to hide underneath at least twenty-three and a half feet of dirt.

Point is, a list can be a powerful thing. It is the closest thing to magic seals; they stop the wrong spells (losers) from coming in and tearing your life apart.

And luckily, Steam has a built in list that can stop all the wrong-losers from getting through to you. It is called the block list. Simply go to a wrong-loser's Steam profile, click the three dots next to the "add friend" button (because Snap forbid, we definitely don't want to be their friend), then "block all communication".

So, MAKE A LIST! Make a list of the people that are PISSING you off. Check it once. Check it twice. Check it three times for bragging rights. Check it four times because it's a unique list and there is no other list like it. Check it five times to remind yourself that you'll never have to come across these evildoers ever again. The most important lesson isn't truly learned until it's been recorded. Why do you think evil memories haunt us?

They say teamwork makes the dreamwork, and that dreamwork(s) hasn’t made a good movie since 2012, but that’s neither here nor there.

Point being, teamwork is important. You may not know it, but you do. Teamwork is what your ancestors had to resort to when they were fighting with stone.
Teamwork is what your parents had to do when they fetched you from the bottom of a well. What were you even doing down there? And your foolishness almost cost mom her neck after that rope carrying her down to you snapped. And your father was so disappointed. He thought he raised better, but it turns out you were just the dumb kind of stupid that gets themselves trapped at the bottom of wells. What a joke. You want to know why dad was disappointed? You want to know why he resorted to alcohol and decided working from morning to nightfall wasn’t worth it, causing the family to have to live paycheck-to-paycheck from mom’s job at a failing business, as she struggled with a deteriorating spine that would inevitably leave her in a wheelchair permanently because they couldn’t afford insurance, nevertheless a proper medical treatment that wasn’t being operated in the depths of an abandoned factory?

Well, that’s neither here nor there. Point is, teamwork is important. Teamwork well help you survive this zombie apocalypse. Therefore, I ask of you to apply one simple mindset:



I don’t know about you, but those green dots circling around a core spell teamwork to me. And neutrons are powerful beings because of it.You see, many tactics and contraptions in real life are based off designs found in nature. Did you know that the plane was based off the bird?

Now of course, I don’t mean go out and initiate a science career studying neutrons or whatever. We both know you’re far too stupid for that, given your knack for getting stuck in wells and all. Point is, look at the neutron above. Savor it. What kind of vibes does it give you? Teamwork.

Alright, I don’t know if that thing up there IS a neutron... but that’s neither here nor there. Point is, you want your strategy to look like above. You want to be the green dot circulating the blue dot. Your teammates need to be green dots as well. The blue dot is the spirit of your team. The essence.
If you, or others refuse… then there’s a split. We all known what happens when an atom splits.

Say it with me… flank the tank.
FLANK. THE. TANK. Is there more to know?

One of the best ways you can deliver damage onto the tank is by flanking him. No, he doesn’t have a weak point there, but it’s useful to be the mosquito up his ass while he’s harassing a teammate. Seriously, it’s easy for someone to get caught in a corner. That’s instant death. It’s no joke, man. The least you can do is put yourself on the line and get behind that big mean mother hubbard, hopefully just in time to give the unlucky teammate some breathing room.

Therefore, keep behind the tank at all cost. If he turns around and starts following you, make a run for it. Don’t blindly run backwards either, because (as we stated before), if your eyes are too still and your movement is too sporadic, you’ll be punished like a wrong-loser.

The tanks rock is… questionable. It is made of stone yet he pulls it out of many materials. Perhaps the tank himself is a wizard. Nevertheless, its hitbox is massive and can tag you even when you’re behind a wall. Not only that, it seems to be the case that the tank uses a wallhack, which means he can guess where you’re going to be exiting your cover from. It’s no joke.
The tactic here is to hide good and well. If you don’t have much cover, you can trick his targeting system by aggressively moving left or right the few seconds before he throws, then moving the other direction as soon as he releases. This usually sends his aim way off. Don’t rely on this method, though. The rock is no joke.

It believed by many that the jockey is the worst addition to the game since Rochelle.

I’m here to say, yes, it is indeed the worst addition to the game since Rochelle – but it doesn’t stop there. The Jockey, unlike all the other infected, are dangerous. More dangerous than any of the other infected, but it doesn’t stop there.

You see, while the Hunter and Smoker have a small-time window before dealing damage, the Jockey is instantaneous. Its forgivable with the Charger because he’s like a miniature tank in a way… but the Jockey? It’s a joke, man. His ability to latch on to survivors is a load of baloney. Even worse, as we’ll talk about later, the closer he gets, the less sound he makes.

So, you’re probably asking, “what’s the best way to counter the jockey?” And to that I say, while you can’t stop him from seemingly teleporting around the corner, you can try to counter him while he’s running straight towards you.

You’re probably aware of dead-stopping – it’s basically the art of stopping a Hunter/Jockey as they are in mid-air.

Problem is, L4D2’s networking is a pile of excrement – so this strategy is only likely to work 60% of the time if you’ve actually trained yourself. Don’t rely on your skill – nothing outsmarts the server, and the server isn’t smart. Therefore, we incorporate the Snap Stop™.

The Snap Stop involves dead-stopping while running backwards. Because AI Jockeys don’t account for where you’re going to be when they leap, they're pretty much going to be constantly hopping up and down in front of you, making them an easy target... as long as you keep moving backwards of course.

Just mind your surroundings.

Translation by “Alc, the Cracker”
Ambulations 1:1 – “In the end, seven trumpets will sound,”
Ambulations 1:2 – “each a harbinger of destruction.”
Ambulations 1:3 – “But in the quietness between each breath,”
Ambulations 1:4 – “step forward."


Music is powerful. More powerful than anything, really. Even bullets. I’ve yet to meet one that can outsmart sound. Maybe deaf people, but that’s neither here nor there.
Still, it’s no joke man. What is it about a powerful musical crescendo that gives us goose bumps? There’s something about music that touches us on an instinctual level.

Fun fact, if you’ve ever looked at music through an oscilloscope, you’re practically “seeing” the music. Every centimeter of curvature across the oscilloscope band is recreated physically through a speaker. The speaker cone’s location depends on the current position of the sine wave on the graph.

It is sort of like animation in Source Filmmaker. If you’ve ever fooled around with the motion editor, you’ve probably noticed the curves that appear on a moving object. If you were to re-create a series of curves the same way they appear in a microsecond of a sound sample viewed on an oscilloscope, the animation result would re-create the same movement of a speaker cone and how it vibrates the air to create the sound required.

What’s even more fascinating: the electricity in our brains also generates an oscilloscope, though the auditory result is mostly muddled. We hear oscillations, but it’s translated into something differently in our brain. Is there perhaps some code in the nuances of the oscillations in an orchestral music sample that accidentally causes an override in the brain which gives us the primal reaction of “awe”? Ancient Snaptronaut theorists say yes, but that’s neither here nor there.

What is there, is music. Always. It’s especially there when you’re fighting zombies. There’s lots of music – mad drumming like tribal warfare and shrill shrieks of a trumpet or banjo when you’re surrounded by a horde. And when all the zombies are dead? Silence.

According to developer commentary, they wanted the music to “heighten the key emotional elements that should be inherent in a horror game”. That’s a great philosophy, so I shall adapt it myself. Dearest reader, I kindly ask that you listen to the track below as you continue on this magical journey of wisdom:


Dr. Sun once said in his famous book, Painting of Warfare: “among the confusion, go forward.” Basically, the moment in which the zombies are dazed is the moment when you should MOVE. Don’t sit around fishing for pills or patching yourself up with a medkit! Get going, and quickly.

The game has a built-in intensity meter that, you guessed it, calculates the intensity of the team. If everyone has been suffering lately, the game switches off spawns to help you relax.

Here’s the thing though: nothing good comes out of relaxing. We learned this from crippling cocaine addicts and alcoholics. Are you going to stand around while the AI Director gives you such free time? You really shouldn’t.

So, the next time someone gets downed or you fend off a horde, GO! That switch has clicked, and you have about 30 seconds to advance before the Director comes down on you like a wrong-loser.

Translation by “Master Gino”
Ambulations 2:1 – “A man sets his house in order.”
Ambulations 2:1 – “His house is like dominoes.”
Ambulations 2:1 – “Unfortunately it is also fragile as such.”


I see many with so-called "experience" treat each situation in-game as if it requires the utmost care and preparation.

SNAP’s belief? DON’T overcomplicate.

Truth is, many situations in this game can be solved by just standing in the right spot. You don't need to spend the next dozen minutes setting up gas cans and getting whiny at other teammates because, God forbid, they shot one.

It has happened to me on many occasions. It is a horde shooter; you're supposed to shoot… everywhere. It’s bad enough I have to yield my aim for teammates; I shouldn't have to worry about gas cans on top of that. You want fire? Grab a molotov. You want to make killing the tank easier? Focus fire on the tank. Easy is as easy does.

Translation by “Master Giorgio and the Sling King”
Ambulations 3:1 – “What is THAT?"
Ambulations 3:2 – “What the hell is even that?"
Ambulations 3:3 – “Well, truly I tell you,"
Ambulations 3:4 – “the vomit before you is just Left 4 Dead 2’s matchmaking."


While I was writing this section, we (a lobby of three) were waiting for one more player to join. As soon as someone joined, the host hit “ready”. The lobby started looking for a server, AND…

Well? Can you guess what happened next? We waited this long for all four slots to be filled, surely these players were eager to play the game, right? As if we were just going to hop on in and begin a classic onslaught of zombie killing as a team, yes?

Wrong.

We loaded in, and everyone left. It was like watching dominoes fall. EVERY player left as soon as the game started. I was left there with the bots just staring at me with their soulless gaze, I sensed even they were confused.
People who play this game like it’s a loading screen simulator… I would argue even trolls with malicious intent are more respectable than you. At least they play the game.

But that’s neither here nor there. Now, make no mistake when I say this – I know much of what I’ve said in this guide is questionable, but this is the truth from the bottom of my bottomless pit of a heart: holy holy, the matchmaking in this game is sincerely the most terrible thing I have ever seen.

A game that marketed itself for having a super advanced AI dictate the action and pacing, yet they utterly failed at one of the most basic multiplayer functionalities: a system that finds a decent server.

No other Valve game is this terrible. How could they drop the ball this hard? It shatters my mind why there isn’t more discussion around this topic.

While I was writing this, I was hopping through at least a dozen servers. “Why?” you ask? Am I too one of those disconnector wrong-losers? Fair enough, but hear me out, it's because they were modded. It's because the ping was terrible. It's because it was on the final map of the campaign. It’s a disaster.

Regardless of what anyone says, every means to find a server is equally terrible in their own way.

No, the legacy source browser (accessible by typing "openserverbrowser" in console) isn't a viable method. It does not filter friends-only games and will lead you to getting kicked more often than not. It also doesn't show the difficulty if you're joining a campaign game.

No, “mm_dedicated_search_maxping” doesn't work either, unless you're creating your own lobby.

And YES, I know about “creating your own lobby”, and that’s not the point. Not everyone has the patience to babysit the stupid bots as someone finally joins 3 maps later (and will probably leave after about 2 minutes, but that's neither here nor there).

Moving on, there is one small tactic I’ve implemented to ward off this terrible arrangement. Hopefully you will find some use for it.

Firstly, you must set up some binds. Here's hoping you must know your way around the developer console.

First, bind a key to trigger the “status” command. One handy way is binding tilde (~) to open both the console, and prompt the "status" command at the same time, like so:

bind ` "toggleconsole; status"

What “status” does is print information from the server you’re connecting to, to the console. With such material, you’ll immediately know if the server you’re entering is wrong-loser land. You’ll know not to waste another moment on its corrupt loading screen. (Unless that’s your thing, given that a majority of players seem to like wasting their time on the loading screen...)

Next, you'll want to bind a key to disconnect. I personally use F9.

Anyways, now that you’ve got “status” binded to a key, you’re going to join a game through the main browser. As soon as the loading screen pops up (you know, the screen that shows the movie poster), you’re going to press the “status” key (or just open the console if you've binded it to that button aforementioned). It might have to be pressed a few times.

After you’ve pressed the button, observe the console. There are a few “flags” you need to look for with the data you’ve received.

Keep in mind, this whole process (including the steps after this) has to be done QUICKLY!

Local servers are detestable in the eyes of SNAP. If you’re connecting to a local server, there’s a high chance it won’t return a “status” report immediately. If this is the case, QUICKLY proceed to step 3.

Valve servers are superior in the eyes of SNAP. The hostname should ALWAYS say something along the lines of “Valve Left4Dead 2 [location] Server”. If not, proceed to step 3.

Also, pay attention to the [location] section. It might say “Valve Left4Dead 2 EU North Server”. Or it might say “Valve Left4Dead 2 Japan Server”

I live in the eastern U.S. The best option for me is “Valve Left4Dead 2 US East Server”. Anything mentioning “Japan” or “EU North” are going to be a horrendous ~200 ping, so skip IMMEDIATELY to step 3. I’m not exaggerating when I say there isn’t a single ounce of IQ put into this game's system.

The next flag you might be interested in is the “map” entry. Chances are, you don’t want to join a game while it’s on the last seconds of the finale where everyone is preparing to leave.

This is what you look for in the “map” section. The finale for Dark Carnival, for instance, is named “c2m5_concert”. The finale for “Dead Center” is “c1m5_atrium”

The number after “m” is what you need to pay attention to. In most cases, each campaign has about 4 maps (with “Last Stand” and “Crash Course” being an exception). You'll figure out which map is which as time goes on.

In the eyes of SNAP, anything after the third map isn’t worth joining as most of the fun has already been had. In those cases, I proceed to step 3.

If you’ve passed all the flags and everything is fine on your end, you can simply ignore this step and continue playing.

Otherwise, congratulations: you’re entering a wrong-loser server.

It is now time to turn around and not waste a second longer in this terrible place that you’ve had the misfortune of joining. Seriously, you’re just chipping away the lifespan of your HDD/SSD at this point.

While the console is open, press F9. You will be disconnected and returned to the main menu, where you can try your luck again. Rinse and repeat, and for each time you do it, be sure to thank Valve for creating such an amazing, INTELLIGENT server browser. You just know they had their top minds working hard to make this the most convenient thing imaginable.

It is no secret that the SNAP is a GOD of a gamer. Seriously, he gets in the ring, and he then he comes out, and it’s like you want to punch him in the face for winning. He is an unstoppable force. You have to respect that. No, seriously, you have to. Or else you’ll end up like Cyrus Medlock.

But SNAP does not dominate the arena with Valve’s cheaply made configuration. Oh no, SNAP has all but certain bent the game to his will. Let us analyze the SNAP config so we may determine how you can apply that knowledge to your own game.

NOTE: put these in your autoexec.cfg, located in:
C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\Left 4 Dead 2\left4dead2\cfg

(create it if you don't have one)

---

You can set "fov_desired" to whatever you want. 90 is the default highest. ~100 makes you feel less like a cyclops. 110 and you start getting a "fisheye" effect where the ends of the screen are stretched.

I personally use 105. I am not a fan of the tunnel vision. It's entirely up to your preferences.

"cl_viewmodelfovsurvivor" changes the positioning of your viewmodel. I also recommend this "minmode - guns" addon. Not compatible with any weapon mods.

https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2143581099

---

Alright, so this isn’t exactly SNAP’s own code, but he has appointed it obligatory.

“Null movement cancellation” is when your character stops moving because you’re holding down two movement buttons that go in opposite directions at the same time. During those heated gamer moments where you’re smashing your WASD keys like a neanderthal, this can quickly prove to be an immense hindrance.

This code fixes that movement cancellation by… magic. Yeah, magic.

---

It boggles the mind of SNAP how any gamer can manage with their crouch button being operable only through the pinky. Maybe it is just his keyboard configuration, but utilizing “alt” is much easier when he needs to execute bunny hops, as the “alt” button is right next to the spacebar.

In addition, rather than breaking your pinky in half to keep your character down, a crouch toggle is applied instead. Ez.

---

Refer to Ambulations 3 to get a gist of what these commands do.

---

The code above binds a "thirdperson" type command to "enter".

“thirdpersonshoulder” is basically thirdperson… except not cheat protected. It just needs a little tweaking.

The command isn’t available in the more competitive gamemodes like… you know… but that’s neither here nor there. Besides, who plays those gamemodes anymore, right?

---

Because Left 4 Dead 2’s audio mixing is the worst thing I’ve had the displeasure of experiencing.

Between deafening aircraft and the complete lack of vertical sound localization, the least they could’ve done was perfect it on the horizontal axis.

…and then they ruin it by sprinkling vast amounts of echo and reverb in the opposite channels from the sound source.

Alright, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, this picture should help you:


With the commands implemented, and the DSP disabled, the sound experience now looks like this:


Attention gamers! It seems to be the case that L4D2’s sound engine SUCKS (as mentioned above).

To be more precise, it seems to be the case that FARTHER SOUNDS ARE MORE LOUDER than closer sounds. This would explain why Jockeys seemingly teleport out of the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nowhere.

---

God aim is something that everyone strives for, but fails to achieve. The legendary god gamers of the online theater, such as Shroud and noskillch, have long been praised for such ability.

But how do they acquire such an aptitude? Some say you're born with it. Some say it's in the mouse. Some say it's in your environment. Some say it's just a matter of time.

Anecdotally, playing FPS games for a long time only gets you so far if your setup is garbage. I learned this after many years of playing TF2, where I felt like my aim just stayed terrible no matter how often I played.

First off, you’re gonna need these commands in your autoexec:

This will disable all the funky stuff L4D2 adds to your aim. I have learned the hard way that this is a dead end in terms of improving your accuracy. Be sure to disable other instances of mouse acceleration as well, be it a Windows setting or some other program.

At 800 DPI, and at default Windows cursor speed, I play at a sensitivity of 3. I use a Logitech G Pro X Superlight.

"I paid almost a hundred dollars for an idiotically simple looking mouse, so it better make me a god," I said when I got it. And... it did make me a god. I'm usually about 10-15+ special kills ahead of every team I join. I'm genuinely not bullshitting you on this.

Moral of the story, buy a Superlight. Even at high sensitivity, this thing slaps.

---

The config ends with a print in the developer console – a fancy one at that – to confirm the magic has been applied to the game. This is you know its legit. This is how you know it’s the real deal. This is how the professionals do it, but are we surprised? Snap is a GOD gamer.

Thank you for reading Dr. Snap's L4D2 bible. We hope this AMAZING guide brought you cheer, sadness, depression, anger, confusion, resentment towards wrong-losers, joy to pay taxes, and most importantly, skill. It’s no joke, man.

Like all great compositions, they aren't complete without an orchestra to play them. Please give a round of applause to the following who have also helped make this masterpiece possible:

• Master Gino - translating and editing.
  
• Alc, The Cracker - translating and editing.
  
• Master Giorgio and the Sling King - translating and editing. He is only one person.
  
• yesskillch - carried Dr. Snap's gamer god essence
  
• Ultrawizard Santa - for making Christmas arrive early this year
  
• The IRS - for taxes

You need to listen to the voice inside your head, because you know what it's saying is true! Don't allow the wrong-losers in this world to tell you what you can and cannot do.