The first thing you want is to get multiple people involved.

But what if I get caught? Then if I get caught, my head is on the chopping block. My teammates would tell the government that I was in charge of the mission to save themselves.

If you're prepared enough, you won't get caught. Also, if your people will rat you out that easily find new ones.

As I was saying, get at least 3 people involved. 4 is the maximum.

• The first person is the leader. You, since you're reading this and all. If you don't like leading, send this guide to someone else and pretend you never saw it.
  
• The second person is the smarts. They don't have to be smart at everything. Just math, engineering, and coding.
  
• The third person is pure muscle. I'm talking split a house in half muscle. If they can't bench 5000 pounds, then they are weak. Anyways, find one of those people. Should be pretty easy.
  
• The fourth person is optional. Just comedic relief, but also really strong and smart when they want to be. Honestly, you just need to bring the ninja turtles with you on this mission.

Now that you have a team, you need weapons.

For a leader, the best weapon is something simple yet powerful. I would bring a rubber band gun. Simple but painful if executed properly.


The smart people could make their own weapons, from lasers to killer robots. However, to properly execute the strategy, you need to bring a tactical nuke.

You may think, "well, they're strong they don't need weapons." WRONG! To maximize their power, they need 5-hour energy. Not sure why. But why not?

Now, this is the time when thinking, "well, they're strong they don't need weapons," comes in handy. We all know that comedians are the strongest species. They just need their fists and maybe a banana gun.

That's it for supplies. The next part is the most important. How to get away from the IRS.

You don't. Do you really think that I spent my 15 years solely to commit treason?! Hahaha. Anyway, you wanna know how to escape. Why? Are you hiding something from us? You can run but never hide. We will always find you.

Well, I have a tactical nuke

We have an atomic bomb. Send that nuke you will regret it. You will be scavenging for food while we are in our 1 billion dollar bunker with a jacuzzi.

oh

Anyway, you and you're computer will be investigated. You want to know how to get away for a reason, right? Even if you don't, we can't risk anything. Expect the authorities to show up at your door in 2-5 business days. Also, don't run. I wasn't kidding when I said we will find you. Enjoy your day!