Spelunky 2

Spelunky 2

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The Five Stages of Spelunking
By Barvaz
This guide seeks to explain the common symptoms that can occur during spelunking trips.
This includes the: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and finally, Acceptance.
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Stage 1: Denial
In the first couple hours of spelunking, patients might experience a temporary bliss of sorts. Going through the motions; that includes dying quite frequently. But in the end, patients seem satisfied that they have advanced through the game enough and are becoming better.
This stages is the least painful one, since the patient is in denial of what he knows will come of him if he continues down this path. Sooner or later, he will acknowledge it.
Stage 2: Anger
Patients in this stage have moved on from denying what is in front of them, they have seen the horrors of the later stages, and now that they see what they have been hiding away from themselves they become angry. Angered at that robot for blocking off the exit with lava, angry with the random ufo that vandalized kali's alter, making sacrificing much harder. Their thoughts become more scattered and they begin to ire at the world that seeks to destroy them.
Common patient responses in this stage include:
- Breaking gaming equipment
- Screaming very loud
- rage quitting
and blaming the game for their incompetence.*
*Note: while some of these cases may be justified, most are them failing a basic jump.
Stage 3: Bargaining
This stage is marked by the patients persistence to make a deal with themselves that they wont do the same mistake again. This ends up backfiring because they end up devoting their entire attention to the one thing that killed them, thus making them prone to die to a completely different thing that would have been otherwise easy to avoid.
While this may be discouraging, do note that most patients never get past the first stage, and thus never truly become good.
Stage 4: Depression
At this point patients have become quite good at the game, and aware of their own mistakes. This awareness of sorts, combined with their increased skill allows them to progress through the cave just until one spot, where then they get stuck on repeatedly. Their attitude changes, and they become more so frustrated at themselves rather than the game, often backfiring when they try to convince themselves that the ufo that was flying off screen and flung himself directly on to them was fair and balanced. This makes them depressed, many starve themselves after the torture they have suffered, others develop PTSD over all the shopkeepers and slaves they have caused the death of.
Stage 5: Acceptance
The End. they move on. Patients find peace in the chaos, and watch the world burn while they hone their craft.
13 Comments
Jetstream Sam 6 Apr @ 8:53pm 
Depression stage here :squirtyay:
itsthejae 18 Feb @ 11:58pm 
im in the anger stage.
Dominican 17 Jan @ 7:33pm 
all i feel is depresion
imjoevegas 5 Nov, 2024 @ 9:12am 
cool beans
odddibbles 24 Jun, 2023 @ 4:02pm 
are you or are you not the spelunk
BubbaForge 28 Jan, 2023 @ 6:46pm 
i like drinking paint
ArchdukeLuke 24 Jan, 2023 @ 5:55pm 
love introducing my friends to these games and watching them reach the anger stage. only thing that heals my soul; (I am in stage 4 and don't think there is any hope for me to beat this game)
175/176 17 Jan, 2023 @ 1:56pm 
yeah
TotemYT 26 Oct, 2022 @ 9:11am 
stage 7 touching grass
Spelunky_Tryhard 27 Aug, 2022 @ 3:08pm 
I think I skipped bargaining and depression, lucky for me. I reached acceptance... though sometimes i drift back to anger