To start off what you want to do is make sure you have zero aspiration in life.. Cue the the cigarette & lets get straight to it.

- Play on Russian servers. (Get a vpn).

- Smoke a ♥♥♥♥ ton of any kind of drugs because playing sober is for girls.

- Don't try to rank up. / You will only be disappointed & hate your life.

Try not to end your life after playing 1k hours in this god awful game.

Now for the middle of your experience (Probably the best) This is like the g spot of csgo, you wont find anything better and you will make a ton of friends & love this game with all of its glory.

- Find 4 friends to make the game interesting.

- Enjoy the game for what it is.

- These are the good old days. ~ Hitler

- Enjoy never reaching this happiness again. Not even sexually.

- Then for the ENDING

Wow! You made it this far you piece of ♥♥♥♥! Many have come down this road & never came back, Yes Im talking about you McSkillet...

- End it

- Now

- This game hates you

- MM is broken

- Thank you for your money

- Thank you for your valuable time

- Enjoy the rest of your life wishing you could come back to this but it will never be the same. Peasant.

- Avoid unlifeing yourself but if you are, write a heart felt note to valve.


Im going to jack off into the air while I stare at the stars now. - Peaceful.

Cheers - Uber Eats Driver.