I decided i had enough of the bad men, i decided to be free and refrain from my medicine for today. The hat man isn't here right now (strange). I went throughout my day meeting the hundreds of new people that i usually do everyday, i mustve met 1 million people by now. Then i heard it, the gnawing and clawing. I went to bed.

I didnt sleep much last night but the shadow man wasnt watching me tonight, the constant whispering kept me up. I went about my day but i didnt meet anyone new today, matter of fact it was like a ghost town in my room idk where the new faces all went (im alone, im scared). The gnawing is back, its louder and more constant now. It's almost like white noise. I wont sleep tonight theres too much to do. I have to figure out how to stop the buzzing noise in my head.

I havent slept yet, i kept journal of all the things i did last night. The whispering turned into intelligible sounds, i listened. They told me i could make the shadow people stop appearing in my peripheral vision. I wanted the buzzing to leave but this will suffice for now, no i dont need quiet actually. i dont want to think, then he'll tell me to do it again, i dont want to... not again.

its been 2 days, i lost track of time. i had to get the eyes out of the walls so i was tearing the drywall down. still no one new have i met yet except for one person. her name was אֵשֶׁת זְנוּנִים. She was comforting, i wasnt alone. She told me i could make them all stop, no more shadow people no more hat man no more noise. i trust her shes nice.

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FInally, its gonna happen tonight i finally figured it out how i have to make it stop. only i can do this, no one can help me. She told me how i could make them stop, i just need to peel my skin off and stick bobby pins under my fingernails. im gonna catch my dreams tonight and make them a reality. ill be free

SHE LIED SHE TRICKED ME SHE SAID THE HAT MAN WOULD STOP LOOKING THROUGH MY VENTS AND THE SHADOW PEOPLE WOULD STOP FOLLOWING ME IF I OFFERED MY FAMILIES SKIN TO HER FATHER ABADDON THE HAT MAN IS LAUGHING AT ME AND THE SHADOWS ARE GETTING CLOSER I THINK THIS IS IT I CANT LET THEM GET ME I HAVE TO KILL MYSELF BEFORE THEY MAKE ME DO IT AGAIN I WONT DO IT AGAIN ITS TOO TERRIBLE OF A THING ID RATHER DIE