Let's be honest, your desk in ADJ looks pretty lame and empty...

I mean, sure, there are many li'l buttons to tinker with, but you're no child! You don't fiddle with cute little buttons, you don't bring in potato batteries to "Bring Your Off-spring To Work Day."

I mean, just LOOK AT IT!



Ughh...

So guess what we're gonna do...?
We're gonna spruce it up a li'l bit. Not a LOT. Just a li'l.

Acquire a Valve-approved ADJ compatible controller.
Thy controll'r shouldst beest anoint'd and did bless by L'rd Gaben himself.

It should look something like this:


You can refer to this guide for help.

Once procured, connected, and tested, proceed to Chapter Two.

Play the game for the first time.
Yes, you heard me right. You NEED to play the game for the FIRST TIME.
If you've already played the game before, from start to finish, then this step ABSOLUTELY WON'T WORK.
Consider this (and yourself) a lost cause.

Once you're done and are back to the main menu, proceed to Chapter Three.
If you've finished the game and don't see the main menu, take off your key card and leave it here, because you're FIRED!

Wow, we made it to Chapter Three... Never thought we would get here.

Okay okay, now hear me out, listen very carefully, this step is ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL to the success of this guide...
.
.
.
Play the game again.

Do NOT click on any of the chapters, otherwise Lord Gaben himself shall smite you to the Netherworld Old Aperture. Just click on "New Game" and you should be good to go.

You are now the proud owner of the Aperture Science Unfathomably Rare Exquisite Golden Praying Mantis Souvenir (ASUREGPMS).

Just look at that cute li'l grasshopper praying mantis on your desk, all shiny and ready to break all known boundaries of modern human science.



Lovely.

I would like to thank my family... friends... Lord Gaben and the entirety of Valve... Marc Laidlaw...
J. K. Simmons... Harry Callaghan... too many to name.

Anyway... I poured my sweat and tears into this guide, and if you liked it, I would really appreciate if you rated it and marked it favorite. It helps :)

Check out my other guide on Supported Controllers on ADJ.

Goodbye, Caroline!