"Scrumpy has an obscure history, its earliest mention being in the 18-19th century as 'scrump' meaning 'withered apple' in an old British dialect. This relates to scrumpy as the alcoholic beverage was made with withered apples.
I guess it's just a roundabout way of saying that Demoman won't be finding it in 3rd century Han Dynasty China, around the time when Mann Co. participated in taking down Dong Zhuo's forces.

wait a second this isn't a valve game"