"To begin yer journey as a depressed bilge-sucking sea dog, ye must first look the part, in this section of me book, I'll tell ye how to do so!"
"This little feller is the right fit; a fat blubber sucking sailor without a jacket on his back"

"And 'ere we have the next chapter of our book, where ye scurvy sea-dogs can learn words ye scurvy sea-dogs can use to call ye selves when yer feeling depressed, and even how to use these 'ere words,"

Briney Deep - Home to many, the ocean
How to use - A sea-god like me can't escape the jaws of the Briney Deep

Scurvy - A nasty ol' sickness ye' get when yer belly ain't filled with enuff grog
How to use - I'll soon be damned to the bottom of the briney deep before Scurvy catches me

Bilge-sucker - A pirate who sucks or drinks the dirty water and the bottom of the ship.
How to use - Me's nothing but a low-down bildge-sucking sea-dog.

Jack Ketch - Jack Ketch be slang for the hangman, the man who takes yer to yer sea-grave by the neck
How to use - To dance with Jack Ketch, that be the way I'll go

Land Lubber - Some body who be a pathetic excuse of a pirate, incapable of keeping his grog in and far too fond of the land
How to use - A lonesome land lubber like me can't do nothing right

Keel haul - A punishment many a pirate be fated for, where a sea dog be dragged up and down the deck, splintering his heels as he goes
How to use - 'ere be a pirate looking for the keel haul

Scally-wag - A canon of an insult on the seas, fit for an inexperienced sailor
How to use - Me be little else but a scally-wag on the shores of this isle

Shark bait - A pirate whose life belong to the sharks
How to use - Ye be looking at shark bait for the captain

Davey Jones' locker - Place at the bottom of the sea where drowned sailors
How to use - Me sing for Davey Jones' locker, and soon me be damned for it

Hempen Halter - The noose that sentenced many a pirate to death
How to use - I be waiting for the Hempen Halter to take me to Davey Jones' himself

"And here we be at the land, where land lubbers lie and where ye ol' depressed scallywags be spending their time."

"Ye time spent off water is just as valuable as yer time on it! Some old sea dogs find themselves hunting for provisions, some extra loot! Others find themselves fancying their looks up a little! Well last I heard ye at the confidence of a whimpering pup under canon-fire, so get ye self where ye belong!"



"That be left behind in a dingy tavern, covered in your own filth! Ha ha"

"Yarr, the life of a pirate be a gloomy one, at best, but hold your head low, keep to the sea, and let yer troubled memories flee in the whispering winds that flutter your sails. A pirate's life is not an envied one."



"All good men make bad mistakes, but it's the better of them that be learning from it. If ye ever find yourself staring at the bottom of an empty tankard and wishing for the ocean to swallow you up whole, then ye be worth nobody's time."

What be the point of sailing a speedy sloop, when inside you are nothing but a sad sloop? So here we be talking 'bout our wonderful ship, how it be lookin' and how we be sailing her.

First off, you'll need a good ol' name that inflicts the most pain to your heart, my ship be called "The Annabelle-Lee" after my precious young daughter, Annabelle, was taken from me by my ex-wife! YARRRR me wants to die.

Now we have a hurting name, we need us a real gloomy 'n' stormy look! There be nothing worse than bright colours, here be my ship, aye!



There we arrrr! We got us a solemn-ship and a lonesome crew of one, now all needs be for us to sail 'er way out yonder, far beyond where any mortal man be seen, for we are not worthy of others, we are nothing but bilge trash and that be where we belong.

This be it, shipmate, this be the end of our journey, now watch as me shows you how aye gone pull it off!

-Here be our destination


-Off on our Journey, yarrr


-The cross marks me' grave!


-Now we sit


-And we sit


-And we sit some more


-And the final tear we have drops into a full ocean of careless and neglectful hurt