First, you will have to purchase a copy of Bad Rats. If you don't already own one, consider your life choices before you buy this game. If you are so desperate to unlock all achievements, go and fill up your Steam Wallet, about twenty dollars is good so you can buy all trading cards, foil cards, backgrounds, and emoticons. Once you have all of this head out to your local Wal-Mart, and we will discuss what will happen next.

You may be wondering why you are currently reading this at a Wal-mart. The answer is simple. Wal-Mart has a large selection of pharmaceuticals. To make the most out of this masterpiece, buy five bottles of Tylenol, or if you you like, Sudafed or similar products. They MUST have acetaminophen, otherwise this will not work. You will also need a mortar and pestle. Once you have these, head home and go to the kitchen. Grind up all of the newly-purchased medications, and add in anything else you have at home. The next step can be tricky: the secret is to pour these into a funnel, but keep the end shut until later. In the final part of this guide, I will teach you how to really get your money's worth from this game.

Now that you have your concoction ready, start playing some heavy metal music to elevate the mood. Try using MIDI files, for best quality. I personally recommend Angel of Death, by Slayer, at http://metal-midi.webs.com/ . This is the most crucial step. Begin to run Bad Rats, and then take the funnel, aim the spout into your mouth, and remove the cap. You will soon realize why I had you buy those, as they will temporarily alleviate the pain of this piece of s**t made by a three year old, and later cause fatal liver damage, so you don't have to be ashamed of owning this, and will not be ridiculed by friends.

This concludes my 100% guide for Bad Rats, I hope you enjoyed playing it, and recommend it to your friends and enemies.