1— - What is it: yellow and can't swim?
-- A school bus full of kids.
2— - Why did he die?
-- I was cleaning my gun and accidentally shot myself.
— And why is he all bruised?
- He didn't want to clean it.
3. - Doctor, what do you think will happen after death?
— We will rearrange your bed and put a new patient in.
4. - Grandfather, and where are you driving 200 km/h?
- To your grandmother, granddaughters.
- Grandpa, she's dead …
5.Misfortunes never come alone. After the explosion at the cement plant, it rained - and life at the enterprise finally froze.
6."I'm walking, I'm walking, I'm not touching anyone..." - this is how each story of the armless boy begins.
7. A relative of a cannibal family died. And sad and delicious.
8. Among the children of anti - vaccinators, the most popular name is Love. Because Love lives for three years.
9. I was digging a hole in the garden, when suddenly I unearthed a whole chest of gold. I was about to run home to tell my wife about a valuable find. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole at all.
10. Yesterday I learned that 20 piranha fish can gnaw a person to the bone in 15 minutes. Unfortunately, because of this, I lost my job at the swimming pool.
11.— We are losing it! Sister, quickly, de... def... derb ... derf... deferblya... defre... deberlya... for the February... Time of death 18:06.
12. The Covid-2019 coronavirus is very well transmitted through money. That's why it has spread so quickly across Europe, and why there is so little of it in Russia
13. Few people know, but Siamese twins beat eggs not only at Easter.
14. - Hello, Doctor. Have the results of my tests come back?
— How should I put it to you?.. Imagine that you are a river, and I am a Greek.
15. - Excuse me, but what is the password from the Wi-Fi here?
- This is a funeral!
—"Funeral" with a small or a large one?
16— - What is the fastest way to stop the dispute of the deaf?
- Turn off the lights.
17. - What is the name of a person who does not have a left arm, left leg, left eye and left ear?
— All right.
18. - Why are there so many diseases in Africa?
- Because the pills need to be washed down with water.
19. - Doctor, there is no pulse!
- Chur, I need sneakers.
20.— Do you have any literature on discrimination against dwarfs?
- Look in the corner on the top shelf.