So! You've joined a server full of other players for you to dole out some healthy advice and drugs to. You're gonna wanna check the scoreboard, like, immediately. Look for the highest ranking Commando. If there are no Commandos, you check Sharpshooters. Then Firebugs. Then Berserkers. Then Support Specialists. Then those creepy Demolitions Experts. In that order, which was highest priority to lowest, find the most high priority teammate and stick close to them in the first wave.

Study this member's mannerisms, how they carry themselves. If they seem alright, pocket them. They will be your unwitting meatshield guardian until they leave or have connection issues or hand you their beer in preparation of suicide. Failing that, find another. If you find no suitable pockets, leave the server or switch class.

During the first wave, you want to follow your team as best you can while still keeping tabs on your pocket and make sure that, at all times, there's an idiot between you and everything trying to kill you. You are Modern God; anybody who claims to appreciate and love you is just in it for the benefits. Might as well get some use out of them as well, yeah? Once you've positioned yourself, maintain awareness of your surroundings. If a gap opens up, close it. However, there's no sense letting good DOSH go to waste, so if there's something weak like a Clot over there, pop the creep's head off with your sidearm. Trust in your sidearm; it is a better friend than any of your goofy comrades.

Keep a level head and make sure your meatshields are where they should be. Not everything is in your power, so a level head is key to surviving if you suffer any close encounters of the pale, red, eight legged or invisible kind. When you feel a break in action for you, check the scoreboard. It is your real Heads Up Display. The scoreboard will show you the health, class and ping of everyone on the team. If someone is missing health, if you feel brave and are armed well enough, chase that tool down and pump him with your healing syringe. If you have access to designated Field Medic guns, a click of your mouse wheel or whatever button you've set for Alternate Fire will remedy that situation just as efficiently.

If you're not on something crazy like Suicidal or Hell On Earth, congratulations. You survived Wave One. Be praying.

Once the first wave is complete, your healing efforts and occasional headshots (hopefully) will have netted you a couple pounds. Or dollars, whatever, it's Killing Floor, they have a bigger Excuse Plot[tvtropes.org] than Snakes On A Plane, the nature of the money you magically get from shooting clone zombie monsters shouldn't matter.

With your DOSH you should make sure you have body armor. As a Field Medic, your body armor is cheaper than any other class for some reason. Next up, any designated medic gun is fine; they all shoot the health syringes to your teammates as long as you're aiming at them, and they're all fairly reliable weapons, but I'd personally suggest the MP5M (the second cheapest gun). It's got a moderated fire rate, does nice comparable damage, is cheaper than the expensive lead firehose that is the Schneidzekk and doesn't have the worst reload rate ever. For worst reload, you'll want to go over to Support Specialist. No don't go to Support Specialist, they're monkeys. Forget them.

Now that you have your armor and, preferably, your shiny new gun, the second wave is fast approaching and your teammates have probably scattered to the four corners of the map, each fool thinking he is a tactical genius that will last longer than Robert Neville in I Am Legend. Stick by the largest group, where your pocket likely remains. Berserkers are positively infamous for running away from the team. The nature of their class means that allied forces 'steal' their kills from them, forcing bored or otherwise uncooperative Berserkers to find solitude in a different area. Ignore them for now, they should be fine.

If by this point you find yourself facing the fireball launching Husks, and you have body armor, now is a good time to indulge in a little overprotectiveness. Step in front of your teammates when those burnt scumbags line up their shots to tank the damage from the Husk. As a Field Medic, your armor is better than others. Though if you'd prefer your allies run around screaming bloody murder while their eyes melt from their sockets, I won't judge.

Stick to your basic tactics of let your allies take the falls and you should be good for the next two waves or so.

At this point you should definitely be facing Sirens and Scrakes, as well as you should own a better gun by now and be well into the swing of things. You may have noticed something peculiar about your grenades... they don't explode! No, you poor schmuck my dear reader, they do not. Unlike other classes, your grenades produce healing energy when they go off! This healing energy can stack, meaning more grenades heal faster. Oh! And the best part? They POISON your enemies with the same stacking effect. That's probably the best news you'll have heard all day.

A few well placed grenades will create an effective blockade against the incoming wave, though it won't make everything just drop to the floor stone cold. It is very useful in conjunction with those monkeys the Support Specialists, Firebugs and Commandos, all of whom aren't generally supposed to go for headshots. Someone going for headshots doesn't generally need their target to be lower health, especially if they're using the compound crossbow. But the other classes who go for damage over time or use weapons that buck harder than a mechanical bull being controlled by your drunk friends can utilize the lowered health of the targets quite nicely.

In addition, if you're in a tight spot like, say, a corner and being walked over by Clots, Scrakes, Fleshpounds, Crawlers, the whole nine yards, you can just do the honorable thing and aim down while chucking grenades! Every considerate player does this in their last moments; they're about to be useless and dead anyway, and in their last moments they can at least take a few extra enemies with them. But for Field Medics, this is a nice little Get Out Of Jail Free card to deal. Your grenades heal and poison instead of blow up. So the damage your enemies deal will be reversed chaotically and they will basically melt under your 3+ grenades. If Lady Luck smirks derisively upon you, you'll be skipping away from that bloodbath over a mound of bodies. If she puts up a 'The Lady Is Out' sign instead... well, you did everything right up to then I suppose. Don't get your knickers in a snit about it.

But about those grenades, it's time we addressed a nasty problem many Field Medics will face... Sirens. These eyeless hags will cry all the damn time until they get to you. Then, they scream. And it will put you down FAST unless you unload into her with your biggest gun, liquid fear leaking from your trousers thanks to your ruptured bowels and tears of weakness streaming down your pathetic face which is probably arched in an ugly expression of revulsion and the dawning horror of realizing what a cruel, unforgiving world you've stumbled into.

But sir or madam, you question, how does this have anything to do with grenades? Well, you poor schmuck my dear reader, Siren screams DESTROY grenades. And sometimes they'll scream BECAUSE somebody threw a grenade at them. And often they come in groups; if the AI senses the players having fun, it will send anything from one Siren to a squad of a half bleeding dozen or more. Happy hunting.

At this point you might've noticed the fat Bloat waddling around here and there. These pathetic excuses for zombies aren't much to worry about, frankly you're in more danger whenever a Gorefast or Crawler shows up. A quick shot or two to the head with a pistol will nullify their puking acid attack, and they collapse fairly quickly, though somehow they can still move toward and chop you with their mighty cleaver of cleaving. They're good money, so try to get the headshot in before someone else does. If the situation's calm, it's fun to watch as they tend to stumble in the wrong direction now that they've lost their head.

Speaking of Crawlers, these eight legged gits are probably your second worst nightmare in this carnival of horrors. Siren holds top spot, no exceptions. The spidery Crawlers come in great numbers, and they cheat. Despite the Medic's high running speed, they outrun you by JUMPING at you, pretty much every time. They have an unusual and delightful weakness to automatic weapons, which the Field Medic class is brimming with. Commando is better at eliminating the little pests, but you can still help out your allies by unloading some burst fire, SPECIFICALLY BURST FIRE, into groups of the little runts. Try to pick them off when you see them in approaching hordes; your allies will be able to handle the Clots and Gorefasts. Don't even bother with melee on them, whoever made their hitboxes was having a bad day at work and decided to make them this game's Oddjob[goldeneye.wikia.com].

Stalkers, the invisible women, aren't too much of a problem if you've got a quick and murderous, or alternatively a quick and female, Commando on your side. Commandos can see invisible enemies and will often go out of their way to gun them down first. Though it's best if you keep an ear out and listen for their quiet gasps, footsteps, and utterances of 'I'm here somewhere.', 'Probably just your imagination...' and 'Give us a kiss!'. Often, on brighter maps, you can see their skeletal outlines approaching and can deliver a swift and gory headshot.

The Scrake! Big boys with big chainsaws, the Scrakes are field medics just like you! Except not so much these days. They were meant to be, but they apparently found chopping folks up to be more fun, so now they're a problem. They like trousers. You're better off stepping right the hell away from a Scrake, lest your allies set it off when it's facing you. Scrakes are an interesting case... Gorefasts charge when they're close, Fleshpounds charge when they're bored or shot too much too quickly, but Scrakes have a health threshhold instead, and will keep a steady stroll towards a human enemy until sufficiently hurt, at which point they lurch forward with hilariously murderous intent. If you see one a couple dozen feet or meters away walking, you don't really need to panic unless you're in a tight spot. When they go nuts and start carving your allies, spit healing darts at your poorly coordinated teammates to keep them alive while they deal with the Scrake. Hopefully your local Sharpshooter will have a Crossbow to headshot him, or a Berserker can hitstun him into death... as long as you and your other teammates don't shoot it.

Remember, kids: if your teammate gets hurt and you heal them, you get money! So if your teammates start blatantly healing themselves in front of you, ask for a picture of them and nail it to a punching bag, then go all Rocky on it. Vent your frustration on a victim that can't call the cops, you know? This is even better if you know the right kind of voodoo.

By this point your team has proven they don't suck majorly. Or they're exploiting bugs or using third party hax, either way, you're nearing the doorstep of the big one himself, the Patriarch. I'll get to him in a moment.

At this point I pretty much guarantee you're seeing Fleshpounds. They're the big ones with the yellow and red tube on the front. When these boys come to town, you have two options, both of which require letting someone else take the blame. One, let your allies get hurt while you hide and heal them when it's dead. Two, let your allies tick it off and jump in at the last second while it's mashing Johnny or LimpDikk or whoever your allies are into paste and unload your guns into its head to stay helpful. There's really not much else to say on this point.

If you haven't figured it out already, you run faster with your knife out than with a gun out. Use this to your advantage. On top of that, as a Field Medic, you run faster than anyone else overall. This means that if your allies run away from a threat and leave you to die, return the bloody favor. You run faster than they do... though you can't outrun the Patriarch if he goes in for a charge.

When it comes to DOSH, once you have all three Field Medic guns that aren't that cheap little first one, you're pretty much set and should begin to share your wealth with other players. Check the scoreboard when everyone's shopping and look for the person with the least wealth at the time. Dump some cash on him, then dump cash on whoever has the most kills, then any Demolitions Experts.

Only one thing to say here. Switch class. Field Medic is not reliably useful during Patriarch wave, if only because if someone is taking damage from the Patriarch, they are taking a LETHAL amount. Better to be Demolitions, Support Specialist, Sharpshooter or Commando for this one.

If you insist on being Field Medic for the Patriarch wave, stick to normal tactics and keep your head DOWN. If he can't kill you and your teammates keep him at a distance, you'll all live longer. Every time he retreats, reload all weapons and pull out your sidearm to deal with the low level mooks he calls into the area.

Please, rate and review if you wish, and subscribe if you're feel like getting a little crazy. And if you see me in a server as a Field Medic, I'll leave you to die at every turn and try to lead Husks, Scrakes, Sirens and Fleshpounds towards you if you also go Field Medic, you pathetic waste of space. One Field Medic at a time, for the love of God, people.