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Skeletron is Tucker Carlson

Have you ever wanted to just beat the ♥♥♥♥ out of Captain Virgin?
Have you wished to fulfill your dream of being a hero, but didn't know how to do it?
Have you ever found yourself wishing to rip the face off of the sound *thud?*
Well now, you can! NOW WITH EXTRA GORE!
Skeletron is Tucker Carlson, coming soon to a Sharper Image near you!

*Hands and Skeletron Prime are unaffected, as is the Dungeon Guardian.
(I don't want the Dungeon Guardian to also be Tucker, as it would be giving a man power who should never have power.)

#♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥