Scream your heart out whenever you see this on your monitor? Its probably because you weren't hidden enough! The best way to combat this 2spooky image is find a good hiding spot and hunker down for a few hours!

But of course you want to get on with the game don't you? But how can you when your motion tracker beeps seven times a minute? Well I'll give you a hint:


See that little number in the bottom-left corner of the motion trackers screen? Thats a way to measure safety. When it hangs at 0.90 to 0.96 you're mostly safe to move around. However be warned! If it drops below that number (and it commonly will!) that means the Alien is on the way to whatever sound you just made. And god help you if it drops all the way down to zero! That means the Alien knows EXACTLY where you are, and nothing can stop it!

Also if you wonder why your motion tracker beeps so much? Its probably picking up a spot of interference. The more hidden you are, the less effective the tiny machine can work. If you're hidden in a cabinet or under a table, expect it too beep every time the creature finally climbs back into a vent.

Now that you know when to move and when to not lets get down to the buisness of hiding! Don't EVER hide in lockers! Well they may seem like a much cozier and safer alternative to hiding under a table, you have several things to consider when hiding a locker:

1. You're at the Aliens height level. Well mostly. But if you do so much as make a tiny sound when inside a locker, if the Alien is right infront of it, good luck getting out alive when a 5-meter tall killing machine has just ripped off the front panel of your safe haven.

2. Lockers need some serious oiling. You probably already noticed this, but when you get in and out of a locker those rusty hinges squeak way too damn much! If the Alien just walked out of the room, opening a squeaky locker will not do much other then alert the thing to where you are.

3. You cannot move around. Where as under a table you can move around a tiny bit to try and avoid the Aliens line of sight, in a locker you can do nothing more then lean forwards, backwards, too the left, and too the right. If I'm trapped in a room with the creature, I surely wouldn't want to be standing still!

But be warned friends! The more you hide in a locker, cabinet, under a table, etc, the more the Alien will adapt to searching for you! If you hide in a locker a few dozen times throughout a mission, expect the Alien to stay a little longer in the room each time, until finally it knows EXACTLY where you are hidden. Well it may not seem like a problem early on, the creature will know a lot about your hiding habits in later missions!

Now that you know how to properly hide, its on to making sure your heart rate stays at a stable level!

So you know how to keep yourself hidden eh? Well don't be so hasty! If you still find your heart pounding whenever you hear its footsteps then you need some help in keeping your heart from exploding!

1. Share the terror. As fun as it is to play on your own, sometimes having a friend, relative; or a fat, squishy cat by your side will help to ease the tension.

2. Play from a distance. Ever notice how a spider viewed from up close is a helluva lot scarier then a spider viewed from afar? The same applies to Alien: Isolation! You don't have to follow this tip if you don't want to, but playing the game from 2 feet away makes it a lot less scarier when the Alien is right infront of your face.

3. Use cats. As I previously mentioned, cats are excellent creatures for moral support. A nice soft animal to hug when you get scared is the perfect tool for the job. Just look at Mr Chubby-face here:
4. Take frequent breaks. If the spookiness becomes a bit too much too handle, why torture yourself? Just go back to your desktop screen, maybe browse the internet, look at a guide, grab something to eat, and calm your heart down a bit. When you feel ready to brave the jaws of death once more just hop back in again!

5. Have some food on hand. A person eating food is a lot happier then a person with no food! Have some junk food, or other tasty snack on hand when you try to evade the smooth-skulled menace. I'm a lot happier when I play the game with a bag of chips and salsa, then if I did not have a bag of chips and salsa.

Whelp I hoped you enjoyed this guide! Hopefully it will prevent you from wetting your pants ever time you walk around a corner to see the Alien staring you in the face. Of course I can't possibly stop you from being scared altogether, but then again: being scared is a part of the game!

Before we go I should offer one little disclaimer. Do not buy this game if you:

1. Have heart problems.
2. Faint at the sight of blood.
3. Despise horror.

Toodle-oos!