Step 1. You will need some vodka.
Step 2. Poison the vodka.
Step 3. Release the vodka to the public until it becomes political.
Step 4. Wait until people start dying and blame it on your own vodka.
Step 5. Hide from the Russians.
Step 6. Try and get into the Russian army, fail and resort to Aperture Science and Black Mesa.
Step 7. Create a resonance cascade.