I don't touch grass. Why the ♥♥♥♥ would i touch grass. What's the point? Are you okay? Is there supposed to be some underlying meaning to this ♥♥♥♥? Why the ♥♥♥♥ does everyone say to touch grass? It literally makes no sense. Do you see normal humans touching grass? Please, explain it to me. I’m genuinely baffled at the concept and execution of touching grass. Did you think it was a funny “meme”? Are you laughing? Are you happy? Did you get some sort of sick, twisted entertainment from making such an alienating statement? Do you know how ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ depressed this makes me? Everyone saying touch grass this touch grass that, and here I am looking like the entire circus — no — the entire ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ comedic industry. How about I tell you to touch grass? Doesn’t feel so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ funny now, does it? You sick, putrid ♥♥♥♥. You make my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ skin crawl. You really have the audacity to tell me to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ touch grass? Lemme guess, you’re a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Redditor. God those pieces of ♥♥♥♥ make me wanna puke. Was I right? Yeah, thought so. You ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ muppet. You are an absolutely disgusting, degenerate waste of air. Your mother should’ve aborted you. What the ♥♥♥♥ were you thinking? Telling me to touch grass? And alright, fine. Let’s say that I do touch grass, what then? What the actual ♥♥♥♥ is me or humanity going to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gain from me touching grass? Is the president going to come back and greet me and congratulate me and say “Humanity is very proud of the fact that you have touched grass. Please ♥♥♥♥ my wife.” I bet that you are some sort of fat little waste of sperm sitting down in his chair (which is about to collapse due to the weight you carry) typing this with his little hot cheeto smelly fingers and drinking Mountain Dew that has been expired for the last couple of months. Greasy fat ♥♥♥♥.