First off, the basic knowledge you need for being a pro MLG player.
-Always prefer box for Juggernog
I mean, if you're a pro you don't need Jug anyway, right?
-Never open doors
Why should you open them? You're the pro player here, the other kill stealing noobs have to open those doors, you need the points for yourself!
-Never try to revive your teammates
Its their fault that they're getting downed, so why even bother helping them? You're the pro in this game!
-Never play Co-op
This game is obviously not a Co-op game. Never do anything like "teamwork" or "help other players"
Just run away and do your own stuff.
-Punch weapons as soon as you can
You always want over powered weapons, so go and punch a weapon round 1, like a real pro player would do!
-Always be under pressure
This is a competitive game, so always have your try-hard face on and hope you're not getting downed the whole time!
And don't you dare to have fun.

And with those basics, you're ready for being a real pro!



Thats a real MLG Player, what an inspiration!

Onoes! You got downed....but wait! You're a pro player, so why did that happen?
There are two reasons why:
1.Lag
Y'know, this game is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and bugged, it has to be the lag what killed you! After all, that zombie was miles away from you!
2.Noob teammates
Those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nubz! You died just because of them!

Now you know why, I'll tell you what you have to do:
-Shout out for help the whole time
-Insult everyone as a fa**ot
-Shout out that the game is ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and bugged
-Blame it on lag
-Ragequit

Only a pro would know how to do this and you know now!

As you know, you should prefer box for jug, so it's good to have a good selection over your weapons.
First off, ALWAYS take the Raygun. Give any gun, like your RPD, Galil, HAMR....doesn't matter, because the Raygun is obviously the best gun in the game!
You should always head for box head-on and get it quickly before those other noobs are able to get points. If you see some of those noobs shooting a zombie, just kill it before he does; This is not a co-op game!
Never buy wall weapons, why should you? You got that beautiful box right there!
You should be at the box at all times and if its leaving, go and follow it you douchebag!


This is the best gun in the game...why? Because f*ck you!

You want to have a nice game on Tranzit, hoping to find some new players. Luckily for you, three Shotguns pop up. You get ready, but they leave the lobby and someone with a bone joins in. You shout like hell "LEAVE YOU FA**OT" but he wont listen. So you're in this game with a newbie, what do you do?
Well, obviously: Just leave him alone, don't ever bother helping him and do your stuff. This is some nice first experience for the newbies.

If you want to be a pro, you have to have the shotgun rank! Everyone knows: Rank=Skill
You can't go high rounds with just the skull or knife, thats impossibru!
So, go high rounds and always insult people when you go down, because you want that Shotgun Rank!
And if you have that shotgun rank, dont bother to play with people who don't have it, afterall a real pro never plays with people who only have a skull or even bones, pff nubz!

Run in circles.

After reading this guide, you should be ready for the real world of pros.

[ooc] Thanks for reading this "guide"! Many thanks to Donaldx for helping me. :3
(And If I see just one person who wont look through this sarcasm I will be veeery mad.) [/ooc]