HE HAS NO PANTS!! he only is whereing undies and that means its easy to slip them right off and violate an innocent women.

the newpspaer zombie has a newspaper only so he can cover his pantslessness from police. its a disguise to make him seem distracted and then BAM! multiple sexual assault charges

newspaper zombie is an old man, which means hes very rich. rich people can pay off charges against sexual assalt.

notice how when his paper is destroyed he is filled with unbridled rage and begins rushing your house to "eat your brains" (in reality hes gonna eat yor bum!). old people are very strong when angry, which means overpowering women would be easier for this guy

i mean LOOK AT HIM!! he just looks like hes constantly seeking a woman touch and the fishy stench of her nono square. he looks like he awaits women at bus stops to touch them inproportionatley.

if you look at the top of his head, he has a yee yee butt haircut which most likely means hes a serial r@pist.

in convulsion, newsppare zombei is most likely to do bad things to women (and possbly men1) because hes old and rich so he can pay off charges like in the cop tv shows. we need to cancel him and make sure he does no more bad things to womens

btw (by the way) im 8 and my mom says i cant swear when talking about this so sorry for sensors.