This is a guide to getting the achievements in Kosmokrats, split into various sections. Spoiler tags have been used to protect story details around achievements (especially the various ending achievements of the story)

• Hunger is a status effect that turns up a few missions in but the game does a bad job at telling you how to solve it - on top of your console is a glass bowl with your money in it. Click on it to buy things, including a meal option if your ship has potatoes.
  You then need to exit that menu and click on the meal to eat it, at which point Hunger will be gone for a few missions. Seeing as hunger greys out your screen whilst in the deploying (planning) stage, it can be quite crippling.
  Note that the game will let you buy a meal, not eat it and do a mission - at which point the meal will vanish and you don't get a refund.
  Being sufficiently drunk can override the effects of Hunger.
  
• Paint. Paint is intended as clues as to how to assemble a ship - a band of repeating arrow shapes will join up to other arrow shapes. Often the number of the ship is painted on to it, and if it's across two pieces you can match those up. Not having paint clues can be quite damaging to your ability to know what connects to what quickly, as anyone taking the "No Paint" bad condition can attest.
  
• Restarting a mission: The "Abandon Mission" escape-menu option will fail the mission and you'll move on. Instead you can exit to main menu, then continue story to replay the mission (with newly generated ship pieces so you can't cheat off of seeing them before). This will forget anything after your last save, notably One/Zero game progress played after the previous mission. Buying something/Eating food causes a save to occur.
  
• Food - so long as you're not killing cosmonauts left and right then you can easily weather a little starvation. You should still try and keep your potatoes but the game has several points where it'll add to your potato supply.
  
• Defragging - It's written at the bottom of the screen but your cancel button (for mouse and keyboard it's right click) sends the current shape to the back of the queue, which is handy for saving shapes that could go almost anywhere until more limiting shapes have been placed

Potato Pilot - Complete the first two levels of Kosmokrats. Can't miss this one.



Free The Earthlings - You released 10,000 potatoes from bondage. Break potato storage modules to add to your potato count (this is going to happen by accident a fair amount). Your total "freed" potatoes counts across runs of the game.

Grim Reaper - You squashed 100 comrades. The drone can turn cosmonauts into jam by ramming them into a ship part at a high enough speed.
Note that you can impact a cosmonaut in space without killing them to get them out of the way, so to kill them you need to follow through into the module surface. Again, you keep adding to your total across runs.

Paint Remover - Scrape 10,000 square meters of paint off of ships. This is aggregated over your playthroughs which is good because it would be very hard to do this in one run. You scrape paint off of a module when you (or something else) rams into them hard enough. It's unclear if paint loss from other sources (explosions for example) count to this total. It's also worth noting that one of the sacrifices that you can make to help out the cause is to have no paint on your ship pieces - obviously that means you won't make any further progress on this achievement for the current run (unless you manage to remove that effect by getting a perfect run on the defragging minigame)

Mine Sweeper - Detonate 25 mines without causing ANY damage. This one is pretty straightforward - in later missions mines will turn up, they start a countdown when something touches them but you can shove them for a few seconds before speeding back the other way to get out of the blast zone. Mines can damage paint on ship pieces, modules and kill cosmonauts - so you need to avoid all of that. As ever, this is aggregated over your runs.

Perfect Earth - Complete the first five puzzles with a perfect score. To get a perfect score you need to be in the green part of the time bar and lose no modules or cosmonauts along the way. The fourth mission will give you a perfect score if you assemble the starting ship parts in time, and doesn't require getting the next achievement.

Saviour - You saved 12 or more recruits. This happens in the fourth mission in orbit of Earth, where you have the opportunity to save as many delivery pods with workers in them as possible. This can be annoying to get as single square ship pieces tend to get confused by multiple connectors and not self-align fully, making you take more time to properly align them. You can run the timer down all the way without penalty on this mission.
Hilariously, on Easy mode you can sometimes get a ship shape that can only accomodate 9 pods total even if you attach to every available slot:


Hardcore - Finish the game at the final planet (i.e. not from a failure state) on Hardcore difficulty. To unlock Hardcore difficulty you'll need to first complete a Normal and then Hard run.
Hardcore difficulty makes the drone lose power just for moving and replaces your pull with a power-draining blast of the national anthem.
You can still move (very, very slowly) and push modules (very, very slowly) when uncharged, so if there are only one or two bits left to add on or you can reach a recharger then you can still finish the assembly.
Whilst this may sound daunting in my experience it's easier than Hard mode if you play carefully (the number of pieces and shapes are similar to Normal difficulty)

Real Cosmonaut - Finish the game at the final planet (i.e. not from a failure state) on Realistic Physics difficulty - this mode doesn't have pieces slow down when given motion unless something else collides with them.
You have to complete a run on Hardcore difficulty to unlock this.

Against All Odds - Finish the game at the final planet (i.e. not from a failure state) without having let Yuri die. Yuri is the showboating cosmonaut that turns up in the second mission in orbit of Earth (he has a little star over his head to make him more obvious).
Given the cosmonaut AI's tendency to get in-between the ship pieces that I'm trying to assemble this isn't as easy as you might think. Remember that you can knock into cosmonauts to get them out of an area without killing them, and that various complications in later levels can be lethal. Cosmonauts that land on a ship piece and walk onto the top of it are safe for the time being.

Final Countdown - Finish an assembly during the last 3 seconds. This means well into the red part of the time bar, so can be tricky to time correctly. Obviously you want to almost completely assemble a ship and then wait until the last possible moment.
Your best bet is to just replay the first mission over and over until you time it right. It helps if you hit a little off-angle so it has to realign for a second before finishing the assembly, though that's hard to do on purpose. I lined it up and went on 5 (your parachute will deploy on 3)

The Beige Star You kept your mouth shut. Hint: help out someone in need This achievement is for stranding Komarov at Pluto by attaching the blue transponder to his ship, though you'll get it afterwards when Olga awards you the medal herself.

Send In The Drone - Finish assembling the Fargate in orbit of Pluto from the inside.



Shiny Yellow Stuff - You collected 8 gold nuggets. To get to a gold nuggets area, Attach the blue transponder to Olga's ship
Once you get to this mission you'll be given an assembly covered in recharger arms - these are here to grab the golden nuggets. Break apart asteroids (the gold is obvious even when intact) then push them into recharger arms. Get 8 nuggets in arms for this achievement.

The Finest Medal - Your comrades look at you with awe and the deepest respect for you have shown mastery of the game like no other, even Boris.

This is for beating Boris' high score in the twisted game of Tetris (Blocked) that you can purchase from the money bowl. Normal tetris tactics don't work well - you need to accept you'll never finish some rows due to the horrible shapes that are available to you. Score 7 or more rows to get this medal.

Number Two - You became second in command (to Boris.) Arrange the deaths of all other officers. You get this achievement right near the end of a run, around New Earth after Boris becomes Kommandant. .
This is the route I took:
Did not rescue Henrietta
Assembled VAL
Went to Mars
Did not strand Komarov
Pushed votes to Olga in election that she would win without destroying the turrets on Komarov's ship, Olga dies.
Assembled antenna to get old message, Wernher imprisoned (because Komorav is in charge).
Henry and Wernher die (because Komarov is in charge)]
Captured Goo around Strange Planet
Komarov dies of goo poisoning having decided to drink it a lot
Officers will accidentally order their own ship on a suicide mission, leaving Boris in charge.
Reach the final section of missions

Kartoshnaya -Complete an assembly whilst at the highest alcohol level. (To get drunk buy the vodka bottle with your money, it costs 11 Kartoshkas but gives you an infinite supply of vodka and coffee). Note you must complete an assembly at an alcohol level before you can get more drunk, so you'll need to spend five missions getting drunker and drunker.
Being sufficiently drunk will countermand the Hunger effect, the blurred and distorted colour vision superceding being greyed out during deployment.
Once you've unlocked the top level of alcohol, all levels will be unlocked in future playthroughs (see Coffin Nails for why that's awesome)
Plus, you'll get this attachment to your medal cabinet:

Back To The Kitchen You didn't want this silly job anyways.
Fail so badly at missions that you get fired. The easiest way to do this is to simply press escape and select Abandon Mission as soon as you enter each mission. (you can use cancel (right click) to skip dialogue and cutscenes to speed this up)

Where Is Everyone? - You ran out of comrades.
Run out of workers in your post-mission summary. This is best accomplished by killing every cosmonaut that turns up to every mission - you can also destroy as many potato storage modules as you can to get Starvation to help you out but you'll kill off the crew much faster if you're diligent about splattering every poor cosmonaut that turns up. Your best choice is to go to Mars when given the option to destroy as much of the potato harvest as possible.

Alternative Meats - You found out what happens when the potatoes run out (and then the alternative supply runs out)
Have your entire remaining living workforce be cannibals
Destroy any potato storage you see, always. Potatoes are the enemy and you must have your vengeance on them for so many hours of menial labour.
Kill most cosomonauts on missions as well (and rescue just 3 workers on the Earth mission) until you're down to a single row of cosmonauts
Don't rescue Henrietta
Go to Mars
Destroy both the potato storage and fertilizer modules around Mars.
Don't help Wernher.
Once you've got Cannibalism try not kill any more cosmonauts in case you accidentally kill a cannibal. You'll probably get cannibalised before the vote.
Cozy Mineshafts - You returned home.
Fail to assemble the Fargate and allow it to burn up.
Yes, burning up in the atmosphere that Pluto totally has makes sense.

These achievements (War/Technology Endings) are for reaching one of the many possible ends of the story. I'll include more detailed information behind spoiler tags but keep the basic description of the achievement visible so you get an idea of what you're heading towards. I would urge you to play to whatever ending happens first so you don't get spoiled about future events before you look at these in detail.
There may be other ways to get to these endings. Even in the spoilers I'll leave out details on what the ending is like, though you can often guess from context.

Honey I'm Home! - You helped force peace.
Business As Usual - You didn't learn from history.
Don't rescue Henrietta (the engineer).
Go to Mars and let Kommandt Komarov's draconian policies backfire into eventually forcing an election (do whatever you like in the initial strikes).
Don't give up Olga when she hides out with you.
Make sure you mess with the election missions enough that Komarov is not projected a win (I sabotaged 2 and 3).
Once the votes are cast, destroy the turrets on Komarov's ship, THEN deliver the ballot box to Olga.
Make sure the Desert Rose planet mission successfully rescues Henry (just complete the assemblies)
This should develop a relationship between Boris and Olga over the latter half of the game.
Once you reach New Earth, save the prisoners but don't save Komarov from the destroyed prison ship to get Honey I'm Home, or save all the prisoners including Komarov to get Business As Usual.
For HIH, Your final mission gives you an old capitalist drone to pilot - the pull on it instead extends an arm and pulls it back to your current position, so you go where you want to pull to, then pull with it.
You can also reach Business As Usual by failing the bonus mission in Winner. Takes. All.

Happy Ever After - You are happy, content and obedient... or else.
The Beach - You took matters into your own hands.
This is the path where you help Komarov survive and stay in charge the whole trip to New Earth.
Do or don't rescue Henrietta
Go to Mars (you can get 5 Kartoshkas for beating up the strike)
Ensure Olga dies (Election where Komarov wins, Election where Komarov gets the ballot box, turn in Olga when she hides, strand Olga in the first place - either way)
Fail the goo capture assembly (just abandon the mission, you can't complete the ship and not have the goo attached)
Help out B when asked
Assemble the Death Station as planned to get Happy Ever After.

Abandon the mission to go for The Beach - you'll end up in a special bonus mission which is a Doom-like shooter. Pull button to fire, cancel button to crouch.
Winner. Takes. All. - You helped bluff an end to the war.
This will also get you the 2nd in Command achievement.
Do not rescue Henrietta
Assemble VAL
Go to Mars
Do not strand Komarov
Take any path that removes Olga (strand her, have her lose the election, give ballot box to Komarov, betray her when she hides)
Assemble antenna to get old message, Wernher imprisoned.
Henry and Wernher die (because Komarov is in charge)]
Captured Goo around Strange Planet
Komarov dies of goo poisoning having decided to drink it a lot
Officers will accidentally order their own ship on a suicide mission, leaving Boris in charge.
Successfully build at least four out of five ships in the extra mission (it may work with fewer but I got four). If you fail this mission, you'll instead get Business As Usual by an alternate route

Humanity 2.0 You transcended.
Transcended Carbs - You minded the potato.
Save the engineer Henrietta along with Wernher (break apart both ship fragments, attach Wernher's small module to Henrietta's module before attaching them to the Red ship)
Go to Jupiter and continually help VAL achieve more freedom.
Accept Wernher's plan to strand Komarov and attach the blue transponder to his ship (he's not in the square one with his face on it, he'll talk when he arrives. Ram the cockpit to expose the blue receiver).
Play One/Zero when VAL gives it to you (note that the game doesn't save your progress on One/Zero unless you play a mission afterwards without quitting back to main menu), and do so again when she gives you the next three levels.
When VAL offers you the final level, play it (the time limit seems to be very lenient which is good as you only get one shot) and finish the level, unlocking VAL's limiters.
Later on Henrietta will merge with VAL and start a cyborg cult that will slowly spread through the ship - eventually Wernher will contact you to ask you to take out the main VAL ship.
Decline the offer and you'll get Humanity 2.0.
Accept and you'll play a Street Fighter-like mission - block with cancel, punch with the pull button.
You have three lives so it should be doable on the first try - watch out for attackers coming from behind.
This will get you Transcended Carbs.
Because I Say So! - You let VAL9000 rule humanity.
Skyniet - You failed to stop VAL9000.
Assemble VAL & the VPU by going to Jupiter. Rescue or don't rescue Henrietta.
Ensure Olga dies by either stranding her or having her lose the election (Anyone counts with Komarov projected to win or Komarov counts if projected to lose) or giving her up when she hides.
Assemble the antenna array around Desert Rose/Planet Komarov so Wernher is imprisoned
Fail to get the oxygen tanks to Wernher so that he dies


Complete the sidescrolling drone pilot mission at the end for Because I Say So, or fail it by losing all your health to get Skyniet.

Mobius Loop - You got humanity stuck in a loop, in a loop, in a loop...
First off a quick warning - the final mission on this one has some... weird mechanics so I highly do not recommend doing this ending on Hardcore or Realistic Physics difficulty. (Though my run may have been a bit cursed by having Air Leaks during the final mission)
In any case: Do not rescue Henrietta; Go to Jupiter and assemble the VPU
Help out Wernher and strand Komarov. Make sure to play One/Zero levels.
Play the final One/Zero level when VAL prompts and win.
Help out Wernher with the weird tech VAL leaves behind, and accept when he makes an offer after the final assembly.

VAL's former ship is locked to the center, and everything else other than you is being dragged around the outside. This means if your VAL ship has protrusions bits of the assembly can get stuck. Thankfully they're all small enough that you can bash and pull them free.

Then you need to get this around the blue door in the middle before time runs out.
I'm yet to try it, but it's heavily implied that if you don't accept Wernher's experiment here you'll go into whatever war ending you were headed towards (in this case Honey I'm Home)
Techno Wernhers - Your DNA was inferior.
Potato Pyramid Scheme - You turned into a greedy capitalist.
Do not rescue Henrietta if going for Techno Wernhers, but DO rescue her for Potato Pyramid Scheme.
Go to Jupiter, Assemble the VPU
Help out Wernher
Attach blue transponder to Olga's ship
Assemble the golden ship
Assemble the receiver array; Wernher imprisoned.
Change in command occurs.
Capture goo and complete assembly.
Get Wernher the Oxygen
If you have Henrietta, you get a chance to save Wernher and Henrietta to get Potato Pyramid Scheme. If you fail this bonus mission, don't accept it or don't have Henrietta then you'll get Techno Wernhers instead.



Look... Higher. - You questioned your reality.
Don't rescue Henrietta or you'll end up in the Transcended Carbs/Humanity 2.0 branch.
Assemble the VPU at Jupiter
Strand Wernher at Pluto.
Do all One/Zero levels as they become available.
Eliminate Olga in the election (if you give the ballot box to Komarov you get 20 Kartoshkas)
Go the Neutron Star and do the final One/Zero level.
Assemble the Death Station (Abandoning the mission will instead take you to The Beach as per usual Komarov endings)

Lone Warrior
Stop a lone warrior from stopping VAL. To get this achievement, try to assemble the VPU after completing the Skyniet ending, then squish the warrior that turns up against VAL.

I found some details on these online, will flesh them out further once I figure out how to do them exactly.
Thank You
Find a secret dev log


Backlog - You own all the tapes (Tutorial, One/Zero, War Tanks, Gnop, Blocked and the vintage film) BUT have played none of them.
To do this: - Don't play the tutorial at the start of the run
- Rescue Henrietta to get War Tanks
- Assemble VAL properly, then go the Jupiter and assemble and attach the VPU
- The remainder of the games and film are available for 9, 13 and 9 Kartoshkas
Update: I've done all this and not gotten the achievement yet so maybe you need to finish the run without playing any of them
Update update: completed the run and no achievement. Not sure about this one.

Let There Be Light -Pay the Kartoshkas to fix the light bulb when it breaks three times in one playthrough.
I'm not sure what triggers the lightbulb breaking though.


Coffin Nails
Ignore health advice repeatedly. - This achievement not supposed to be available until an upcoming update.