In this section, we will learn about the secrets of the universe what a friendly heavy is.

This guide will focus mainly on the friendly heavy, and won't go in-depth with other friendly variants.

In general, a friendly heavy is a heavy that is peaceful or neutral towards what would be regular enemies. This heavy will only attack if provoked (certain guidelines should be followed, though; see next section for more information). Although fairly seldom compared to a friendly heavy, it is possible for any class to be friendly, so don't go hurting that horde of spycrabs or cluster of crouched, unarmed "enemies."



Below: a friendly party in Turbine.





Another view of the party is seen here to the left of this sentence.

You may be wondering how you too can be a friendly heavy. Below, I have listed the recommended friendly heavy (or "hoovy") loadout.

Primary Weapon:
• Tomislav

Hoovies do not use their primary weapon, as they are peaceful! However, some may try to attack a hoovy. In order to quickly dispatch any blatant killers, the Tomislav is suggested.

Secondary Weapon:
• Sandvich + reskins
  
• Buffalo Steak Sandvich

All professional hoovies need a sandvich, whether it be to heal an "enemy," consume for leisure, or to toss around! As a bonus, the diet of the hoovy is also an unlockable one for ten achievements (not the steak)!

Melee Weapon
• Holiday Punch

Although you can use practically any melee "weapon," I'd use these mittens. They can make others laugh from behind, which adds to the friendly enjoyment.

As for cosmetics, you can really just go nuts. The classic hoovy getup, though, is any gibus, Pyrovision Goggles, and the Mercenary badge. Wear it with pride, as you'll show you haven't wasted your time, money, effort, and life just getting a hat that's on fire.

The last slot can consist of anything you'd like (e.g. special taunts, such as the High-Five Taunt).

Again, these are recommended!

"I pootis in your general direction!" - French Hoovy

Really, the bottom line of being a friendly is not attacking "enemies."
Seasoned veterans that have gone through the greuling hoovy training are able to make parties out of deathmatches. They probably read this guide to be as professional as they are.

Without further ado, I shall tell you the secret to being the Gandhi of TF2.

For the most part, being friendly is just goofing off and having a gay old time, doing things such as yelling "POOTIS," jumping on other players' heads, making them laugh (if you've got those laugh-inducing mittens, that is), and so on and so forth. However, showing you're friendly may require some work.
Above: a hoovy (presumably Fidel Castro with a beret) does what all hoovies do best.



Now, the hoovy depicted above is clearly a friendly one with good intentions (much like Castro; I could go all day explaining how). Can you guess what's showing it? No? Then study harder.

• He's crouched, showing he isn't intending to hurt someone or give chase.
  
• He has a Sandvich out, showing he's unarmed.
  
• He's shouting,"MEDIC" repeatedly, showing that he's trying to be humorous.
  
• He may look like a big bear that hates people, but he's just out for gits and shiggles.

Above: a party of demomen having a shoot-off.

Above: another kaboom party.

Hopefully you now know just how to get out there and be friendly!
Just remember to not kill any players out there who aren't trying to actively kill you!
If you're pining for the fjords, then go on and kill those poor saps throwing Sandviches at you. If you do poach spycrabs or hurt hoovies intentionally, though, then get the hell outta my guide!

...I mean it.

...c'mon! Leave! Shoo! Begone! There's nothin' else here for ya!

This was my first "guide!" Feel free to leave angry comments in indecipherable English directed towards my sexual orientation, ancestry, and/or my face!

"Positive thinking is undermining the world." - Punchy the Clown



If you want to call this drivel a guide, and the section you're reading currently a conclusion, then be my guest.

Above: a picture that has absolutely everything to do with this tutorial.

Now will you leave?

Note: I couldn't indent these since Steam doesn't know what paragraphs are.

Note II: Extremely serious sociopaths players may still try to kill you, even if you are friendly. For these situations, I recommend showing them the morals and truths they've been denied.

Note III: I'm surprised that this many people clicked on this guide (let alone some that actually read it). I feel it's necessary to thank the academy, as well as you, the hoovy in training. Thanks, and have fun.


Thanks for reading this (or at least acting like you did)! Now, get out there and be friendly!