THE STANDARD

COMPLETELY AVERAGE

Made by the average Joe. Who apparently isn't average and always seems to kill people...

Lol this is what you start out with!

The pistol shoots straight forward with no modifications to the bullet.

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THE FANTASY

UNLOCKED BY MAGIC

"Pink fluffy unicorns, killing your friendies! :D"

Just follow the unicorn after hunting animals for food. DO NOT KILL UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! Unless you wanna be all IN YO FACE, BRONIES! I MURDERED YOUR ONLY TRUE LOVE! Oh, did I mention there's a dragon? Yeah, you gotta kill that too... Good luck! :D

Not sure about the pistol yet, but you get a sweet white unicorn which replaces the ox!

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THE INVISIBLE

HARD TO SEE

"Winners never ALWAYS do drugs! The video I referenced is below. "

To get this, do some shrooms, man! Survive through the hallucinations of phsycedelic radicalness, man! I mean seriously, man! Who wouldn't, man? Good luck fighting off those painful memories though, man... Here, have some shrooms...man.

The pistol is kind of hard to see when it's not flashing red. Ah, who am I kidding? It's invisible when it's not flashing red! Makes sense though, doesn't it? Well at least you'll be riding with the Invisible Man. That bastard stole my Halloween costume last Halloween! I think...

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THE FAST

UNLOCKED BY JUMPING VERY HIGH

"I believe I can fly!!! :D"

Just keep jumping rivers until eventualy a gust of wind pulls you up into orbit. Dodge the meteor shower and fight the space satalite until you return back to earth.

Unsure what the weapon does at the moment... We're still trying to restore that portion of this document. Through SCIENCE!

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THE GLITCH

UNLOCKED BY BREAKING THE GAME

"ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR"

Actually, just fight the herd of buffalo when you get to the great plains. If they look dead already, you're on the glitch sequence. You didn't break the game, it's pregrammed to break itself. You'll go into some weird realm and the text will become unreadable and you have to fight a... thing. I'm going to call it a combustible lemon because references and it blows up.

The pistol shoots a bunch of viruses at your enemies at random intervals (one shot could be a second after the other while the next shot is a half second and so on) killing them, destroying bodies so don't expect any animal hides from it.

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THE WILD

UNLOCKED BY BEING ONE WITH NATURE

"Aww! you poor thing! Here, let me make you better, little birdie! :3"

After the buffalo attack in the Great Plains sequence, you have to get the scene where one of your crew (assuming everyone is still alive) helps a hawk. Help the hawk because you have no other choice then fight off the coyotes. You then have to use the falcon to kill more buffalo. Notice how it kills and automatically drags the bodies to you for auto collecting. This is what the weapon for the wagon does because the falcon replaces the pistol!

READ WHAT I SAID ABOVE! I already explained above and I am NOT going to explain again!

Oh son of a... OKAY! So what you do is Lol if you read the description of this guide then I just got you three times!

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THE COAL-FIRED

TAKES A YEAR TO ARRIVE

"I like trains."

All you gotta do is get far enough to the point where this random sequence occurs where you hear gunshots in the distance. GO AND INVESTIGATE! You will find a train. There will be bandits firing from the train. The will be bandits on horses fighting you while bandits fire from the train. Then, SURPRISE! The machine gun carrying bandit boss fight! WITH BANDITS FIRING FROM THE TRAIN! Surprise, surprise... GOD those bandits are jerks!

The gun shoots out puffs of steam which go forward at first before slowing down and floating directly upwards. It's actually very useful against the first boss fight and some other events...

Oh and if you didn't get the wagon's description, it's because the pioneers were supposed to settle down in their new lands first before western civilizations rose. When those civilizations rose, the trains were built about a year after. Thought I'd let you know! :3

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(No information aquired)
THE DISEASED

UNLOCKED BY CATCHING SOMETHING

"Umm...brains?"

I'm sorry, but there seems to be nothing on this carriage... I have no clue how to unlock it despite all my research. Wha... no, shut up! I do NOT look at YouTube videos! I do everything legit! No...n...Just...No, shut up! Okay sorry! Fine... yeah, love you too, mom... YOU SAW NOTHING!

Don't even bother asking about the gun.

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THE ALIEN

UNLOCKED BY MYSTERY

"E.T. phone home!"

When you get to the second river, go to the desert and continue until you find a pyramid. It'll be too dark, but when you light a torch, aliens will attack. Fight them off until you get back to the wagon where you encounter a spaceship. try to dodge it's attacks until it goes all the way to the right side of the screen and downwards assumably trying to escape. That's when you attack. Upon the destruction, you will get the carriage.

I'm not sure about the pistol... maybe you automatically start with the laser!

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THE ANCIENT

UNLOCKED BY GETTING BREAKFAST

"OH GOD! WHAT IS THIS?! JURRASIC PARK?!"

When you get to the second river that is too deep to ford, go for the swim. Hopefully you will make it through alive and onto an island where you find some eggs. Your crew will decide to have omelets for breakfast which angers the local dinosaurs. Survive and you get The Ancient carriage!

The weapon is a dino egg which you can toss, unleashing a pterodactyl which kills nearby enemies. Doesn't seem like much to me but whatevs.

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THE EASTERN

UNLOCKED BY MASTERING THE SWORD

"I can swing my sword, sword! Yes. I just did that."

When you finally get across the Great Plains and into the mountain range, a random sequence will happen where there is a sword in the ground and one of your crew goes to pick it up. PICK IT UP! You will be swarmed by ninjas. Kill the ninjas to prove you are a true AMERICAN NINJA!!! Then I think that's it... if not you probably just have to kill more ninjas.

The weapon is the sword. You will know how it works because YOU JUST FREAKING USED IT!

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THE MODERN

UNLOCKED BY TIME TRAVEL

Oh god... Where's the Doctor when you need him?

No, seriously. I need him to help us figure out how to unlock this. Maybe it was that glitch that's breaking our equipment again...

Umm...hi?

THE FANCY

UNLOCKED BY BEATING THE GAME

"You don't say!"

Okay, really? This is self explanatory! You don't need a description!

The weapon acts like a revolver in the sense that it takes 6 shots before a delay to reload. The shots are actually quite quick, but the delay is a bit long. Think about a .5 second interval between shots and about a 1.5 second reload. I haven't measured the actual time, but if I say something that's what it is! Do not question!

-Wait, how do I measure time? And I totally did not forget about another guide that actually said it was for the fancy...

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THE SURVIVALIST

UNLOCKED BY WINNING WITH EVERYONE ALIVE

"Don't even try. It's freaking impossible."

Again, this one is self explanatory. Do I even need to say anything? Oh wait a minute... I just did, didn't I...? FML

The pistol, I have no clue what it does, but i'm assuming it's OP and you'd be able to get through again without everyone dieing again.

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THE GOLDEN

UNLOCKED BY GETTING ALL THE GOLD STARS

"Twinkle twinkle little star! I will snatch you where you are!"

Doing some really extensive research (and not totally looking in the comments to actually find out how to do it) my team has discovered that in order to get the gold stars, you must go into survival mode. Survive as long as you can so you can get as many gold stars out of 5 as you can.

-just a side note, I feel extremely stupid that I had not realized this before. I unlocked all the survival maps and even witnissed the gold stars before my very eyes and when i made this segment, I had no clue. WHAT KIND OF MORON AM I?!

You know what? SCREW IT! I can't find anything! I might as well just say maybe it's just a huge reference to James Bond games with the Golden Gun game mode! That is what I'm going to say and it's what I'm sticking to. No one can convince me otherwise!

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THE RANDOM

UNLOCKED BY SURIVING 50 DAYS IN THE SHUFFLE

"Oh my god the game knows! IT'S F****** RANDOM!!!"

Sorry, I'm just sort of burnt out after the last few... Contact me when I'm bored again.

{Insert pistol description here}

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THE META

UNLOCKED BY GETTING 16 CHECK MARKS

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

OH MY GOD!!! You have to beat the game 16 times with different carriages?! HOW IS THIS EVEN actually I can see it being done... This game is going to trap you. Forever... and ever... and ever...

And ever...and ever...and ever...

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Well, that's about it for this portion of the guide. I hope that this at least helped you in some way. Please scroll downwards for descriptions on how to unlock the survival maps and Shuffle. (When I add the sections that is...)