Are you sick and tired of getting kicked ? are you naturally ♥♥♥♥ at the game? Do your friends call you Helen Keller? Well, time to leave those dark days behind cuz you can now play like a real silver with my all new silver guide. So, grab your AKs and AWPs, and les gooo !

BELOW ARE MY TOP TEN TIPS

1. Keep calm and blame it on the lag
This is the most important rule. It’s never your fault. just stay calm and blame it on the lag. Pretend like you’re glitching, walk straight towards a wall, try disconnecting and reconnecting to make it look more authentic or just don’t bother shooting and get knifed.


● BHOL SINGH︻デ══一 : are u dumb wtf
● Scarab : i have 62% loss :(
● ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ : why tf wud you join at frst place u ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Scarab has disconnected from the server
● ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ : wow

2. Don’t listen to your team, do your thing
Just go and do something to die first so others don’t have to spectate your trash gameplay

● t4RTr3K #WUNTEPS : why would you rush long when i said all long
● t4RTr3K #WUNTEPS : gg
● Scarab : i didnt rush
● t4RTr3K #WUNTEPS : bruh i jyst saw you run long with usp
● Scarab : yeah but i didnt rush stfu ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ive been spectating everyone from round 1 Yall play like trash lmao

3. Music !
Set up SLAM (Source live audio mixer) and play some bangers. Obviously, your team is here to have some good times. do you honestly think they care about their rank ? Nah, they’re here for some good music and it’s your duty to deliver those beats.

● come mid : please stop the music
● 刺客猎人 : stop song
● BORYS FURY : Just mute him, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cancer
● BORYS FURY : gg cant play one good game

4. Callouts
Can’t handle the heat alone ? it’s time for some team coordination. Give some super informative callouts like how they do it in professional games

● Scarab : near that site
● {LINK REMOVED}CSGO.net Cimpo swap.gg : wtf sandbags
● Miloche la piloche : scarb give calouts after u die ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
● Scarab : ● Scarab : near that site
● Scarab : i did give a callout, are you autistic ?
● {LINK REMOVED}CSGO.net Cimpo swap.gg : reported

5. “They have legs” card
Gave the wrong callout ? Chill, you can use the “They have legs” card twice or thrice in a match. It makes sense, they have legs which gives them the ability to move from one place to another.

● Scarab : all B
● pinkman jesse : 4 A wtf
● Daziease : stop giving wrong callouts please
● Scarab : they have legs

6. Trash talking
Why mute your opponents when you can copy and paste their trash talk ?

● DON ALLESIO : Scrab lol talk big no play
● Scarab : ● DON ALLESIO : Scrab lol talk big no play
● DON ALLESIO : u upset
● Scarab : ● DON ALLESIO : u upset
● DON ALLESIO : ?
● Scarab : ● DON ALLESIO : ?

7. Twitchy movements and weapon scroll
Are you the last one alive ? Did you accidentally clutch the round ? Don’t waste your time listening to your team or picking up a better weapon. Move your mouse and try executing some bhops like phoon and keep scrolling your weapons so everyone thinks that you know what you’re doing. Don’t forget to drop an “ez” on global chat.

● Scarab : ez

8. Kill your teammates
If the situation demands it, do it !
Some of the most common situations are
- if your teammate is defusing and you need that MVP award
- if your teammate doesn’t drop you a gun
- if your teammate is being toxic
- if your teammate reports you
- if your teammate is top fragging
- if your teammate disconnected last round
- if your teammate used the mic
- if your teammate moves

9. Skins > Skills
Even though you’re ♥♥♥♥ with AKs, It’s fine to buy an AK as long as you have a case harden stattrak. Pull your bayonet knife outside even if an enemy is 5m ahead, facing you. Don’t forget to spam F. you gotta inspect every 3 seconds to show those knife animations

● Scarab : haha accidentally pressed f, hows ma skinn btw ???
● Scarab : repllyy !!
● Scarab : oops bought mag7 hows the skin doe

10. Hacks
last but not least, you need hacks. it’s 2020, you’ll find more cheaters than genuine players. Why bother playing with skills when you can download those juicy hacks. So, take your mom’s visa and make it go skrrr skrrr on a_i_m_w_a_r_e_._n_e_t