Step 1. Make sure supplies to clean "it" up after the finish are easily accessible, tissues are recommended because they are disposable and while you can use a handcloth or towel of some sort make sure it clean it eventually because it smells like sad old balls, and I know you do too. take a shower you basement dweller.

Step 2. Clear the area of any people and maintain a stable perimeter, there are very few things in life that match the humilitation of being caught in the act as Jacking off, second to only necrophilia with a sibling. but just because there aren't people in the area when you started doesn't mean that its always gonna be that way, some tips to keep people out are to Barricade doors and windows, shove over dressers and prop up chairs to make sure that if anyone tries to get in they have to really fight for it. however this is not 100% reliable because you'd be surprised at how often moms can go chris walker on you and force their way in. what you should do is scream "bloody murder" at the top of your lungs as that will make it clear that you a insane hobo and jacking off is really a relief to whatever people assume you are doing.

Step 3. Find something to jack off too, you can try to just do it staring into blank space but that takes forever. jacking off to people in front of you without their knowledge is quite a scummy thing to do but considering you've gotten this far I doubt it being scummy would dissaude you. usually porn from some ol'reliable ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is adequate but people have kinks and fetishes and that's fine unless you like lolis, if you have a loli kink, ♥♥♥♥ you.

Step 4. Actually jack off, now for most people this seems quite simple, rub = good, this is not always the case though as too much rub causes pain in the form that you jacked it so much the skin chafed your shaft, too little rub isn't going to get you anywhere. as for hand technique you want to make sure that you don't dig your nails in the ♥♥♥♥ while you stroke as that would tear it to shreds and there are very few who would like that

Some unspoken rules and other tidbits
- If you do it in public, not cool man
- there is no health disadvantages to jacking off, just don't get carried away as there is an outside world, as daunting it may be.
- your peepee is yours and it stays that way, don't go around showing it off to people.
- other people doing it for you is not jacking off, its a handjob. yes even if you get a homie to do it
- be ready to stop at anytime, yes blueballing yourself is a thing and yes, you'll probably do it to yourself at one point

In conclusion, i hate my life and yours too.