Now don't worry, this section is not as lame as it sounds. It's also arguably the easiest to get through.

To make this easy on myself, imma just copypaste this description from the TF2 Wiki:

"Hailing from the lost country of New Zealand and raised in the unforgiving Australian outback, the Sniper is a tough and ready crack shot. The Sniper's main role on the battlefield is to pick off important enemy targets from afar using his Sniper Rifle and its ability to deal guaranteed critical hits with a headshot (with some exceptions). He is effective at long range, but weakens with proximity, where he is forced to use his Submachine Gun or his Kukri. As a result, the Sniper tends to perch on higher grounds or in hard-to-see places, where he can easily pin down enemies at chokepoints.

Although he is typically known for instantaneously killing enemies at a distance, the Sniper can use the Huntsman to get closer to the enemy. Additionally, the Sydney Sleeper and the mysterious contents of Jarate allow him to take on a support role by causing enemies to take mini-crits.

The Sniper is voiced by John Patrick Lowrie."

-the blokes at the Wiki


Now, "what does that mean?" ya might be asking. "What is a jarate?", "Why was New Zealand lost?", "When can I see my family again?", etc etc etc. Well mate, I have some answers for most of those questions. But before I get to that, lets take a look at the iconic video that sparked this man's career as a crazed gunman.
(video by: who the hell do you think, dumbarse?)


Awesome video, right?

If you somehow still don't get the gist of the character, here are some lovely images that I made to help you understand it better.









Got it? Good. Lets continue, shall we?

Now you may be curious about the large kidneys part of that last image.

Basically the Spy, who is also from the hit class-based fps Team Fortress Two, called Sniper a "doodoo head". So Sniper got some funny-looking pills from Mann Co. and now his kidneys are indeed large.


This comic was made by Valve to help explain the Sniper's sudden discovery of the existence of glass jars, as well as the inflation of his kidneys, and his rivalry with the TF2 Spy from Team Fortress Two.


The Jarate is almost always going to be your go-to secondary item.







This weapon to the right does not exist. Do not question it. Get rid of it as soon as you get yourself a proper jar.



















So what is Jarate?


Plain and simple, it's jar-based karate.

The Jarate is a great tool for both offensive and supportive uses. You can throw it at your allies to cool them down if they get too hot and bothered for their own good. Or you can throw it at your enemies and humiliate them so hard that they take more damage from everything else, in the hopes of dying sooner. Doesn't that sound fun?

FUN FACT!: If you decide to use the jarate for the former reason, you will be granted a time reduction of 20 seconds to 16 seconds for a cooldown.

The best way to get into the optimal mindset of your main is to experience their day-to-day life for yourself (in a legal way, of course).

For session option #1, the first thing you'll wanna do is buy yourself a camper van...

Don't have a license? Well then go get one, ya dumbarse.
Not old enough to get one? Then get outta my sight. Go MGE, little kid.
Don't have the money? You're telling me you can invest in shiny pixels worth hundreds of dollars in a dead and dying game, but you can't afford a stupid old car? Nice try, kiddo.

(Note: The camper van doesn't have to be exactly the type that the Sniper uses, a 1965 Land Rover Series I Camper Van, but it does add a bit more genuineness to your commitment.)

Now normally I'd say the next step is to move to New Zealand Australia, but given the current situation down there at the time of typing this, I would not recommend doing that.

Drive the van down to the nearest forest/mountain road and park wherever you can. Make sure you have a pair of binoculars on you: these will act as your scope. Look around at different parts of the outdoors/mountainside/whatever and pretend that you're aiming at an unfortunate victim. Make sure your hands are steady, ya don't wanna miss that shot. Try bird-watching as well, as it is the more sane option to improve and gives a good excuse as to what you are doing there.

After a few minutes, drive back home.


Option #2 is to attempt to pee in a jar rather than a toilet. But if you're unable to get used to it, just put an open glass jar in the toilet, and hover your ♥♥♥♥ above the opening when peeing. Congrats! You now have your very own jarate!

-Obama
-Hillary Clinton
-Women
-Minorities
-People who like K-pop
-People who like Hazbin Hotel
-People who like JoJo
-People who like anime in general
-People who use the clown emoji
-People who falsely accuse and witch hunt others for internet clout
-People who blindly follow those people
-People who think saying "Ok Boomer" is hilarious and worth everyone's time
-People who don't like Family Guy
-The fortnite community
-The minecraft community
-People on twitter
-People on facebook
-People on reddit
-People on instagram
-Boomers
-Millenials
-Cringey youtubers
-People who litter
-SJWs
-Liberals
-Hipsters
-Myself
-The government
-The tf2 community
-People who think saying the n word for no reason is comedy gold
-Demoknight tf2
-People who think "Demoknight tf2" is funny
-Capitalists
-Corporations
-Society
-Every other toxic fanbase/community
-Entitled people
-Soccer moms
-Racists
-Sexists
-Ableists
-Every other "-ist"
-People who don't like Sniper TF2
-People who use the machina
-People who use the diamondback
-People who use the phlog
-People who pocket People using the phlog
-Scout mains
-Soldier mains
-Pyro mains
-Demo mains
-Heavy mains
-Engie mains
-Medic mains
-Sniper mains
-Spy mains
-Bulgaria

1. For the crust: Put the frozen rolls on a baking sheet. Cover with a tea towel and let thaw and rise for 2 to 3 hours.

2. For the filling: Add the oil to a large skillet and set it over medium heat. Cook the peppers and onion until soft, about 5 minutes. Add the red pepper flakes and garlic, then cook for another minute. Transfer to a bowl or plate and set aside.

3. Put the same skillet over medium-high heat, add the beef and cook, breaking up any lumps. Add the chili powder, cumin and 3/4 teaspoon salt and cook until the meat is no longer pink, 5 to 7 minutes. Add the tomato paste and 1/4 cup water and stir until combined. Mix in the cooked vegetables. Transfer to a bowl and set aside to cool. When the meat is cool, add the cheese and parsley, then season with salt and pepper.

4. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

5. To form: Roll out each dinner roll on a lightly floured surface into a 4-inch circle about 1/4 inch thick. Put 1 1/2 tablespoons of the meat mixture in the center of each circle. Brush around the outside of the circles with the egg wash and fold over the dough to form half-moon shapes. Press the edges together and crimp them with a fork. Put on a parchment-lined baking sheet and brush the tops with the egg wash.

6. Bake until golden brown, 10 to 12 minutes.


(Credit to https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ree-drummond/meat-pies-3591684 )

As for the other bits of your loadout as Sniper, it's important to pick a weapon combo that best suits you. Here are some tidbits of info I put together.

PRIMARIES

-The stock Sniper Rifle is an all-around amazing weapon that can get the job done just fine. I would recommend learning the ins and outs of this one first.

-The AWPer Hand is just a cooler version of stock. Use it if you want everyone to know that you have money.

-The Sydney Sleeper is a great support weapon that can coat enemies in jarate from afar, and it can also extinguish teammates (this usually doesn't work due to hit reg and the likely lack of brains from said teammates). Use in conjunction with your team's pushes.

-The Bazaar Bargain is a weapon that a lot of tryhards like to pick. It can either be the ultimate label of professionalism on yourself, or the biggest hinder on yourself. Only use when you've mastered aiming.

-The Machina

-The Shooting Star is just a cooler version of the Machina. Use when you want to be a total dipshi cool space dude.

-The Hitman's Heatmaker is a very gimmicky weapon and an arguably worse version of the Bazaar. Only use in Mann vs. Machine.

-The Classic doesn't reeeally suck, contrary to popular belief. It's just incredibly janky and awkward to use. Best used when paranoid about spies.


SECONDARIES

-The SMG is a thing that does not exist.

-The Jarate is the best thing in the game. Use at any and every opportunity.

-The SABM is a cooler Jarate. Green is pee's natural colour. You can throw it further due to the model and the physics engine.

-The Razorback is a weapon for weaklings and lazy people. Use it when the enemy spy is cheating with his interp settings.

-The Danger Shield is for when that one arsehole pyro keeps spamming flares at you and you can't get a clean shot due to the afterburn.

-The Cozy Camper is a niche utility tool that is nice on paper but kinda meh in practice. Use when there's a heavy or something idk.

-The Cleaner's Carbine sucks. Only use it in MvM.


MELEE WEAPONS

-The Kukri is a thing.

-The Tribalman's Shiv is just the best option. Don't question it. Use when spies.

-The Bushwacka is the tryhard weapon. You can shred people covered in jarate, but you also get shredded faster. 0/10

-The Shahanshah is also a thing.

...I missed something lol.

THE HUNTSMAN!!!!!


The Huntsman is easily the best primary weapon in the game, hands down. It can headshot, bodyshot, taunt kill, and it doesn't require a scope. The Huntsman also promotes a more active and aggressive playstyle, which is a nice way to shake things up. It also works in Medieval Mode, giving you an unfair advantage over everyone else who isn't a demoknight with maximum heads, which is only counter-balanced by the fragility of Sniper himself. None of the rifles can do that, now can they? It also serves to make other people very angry, but unlike the Machina, it doesn't make you completely unlikable. Why? Just take my word for it. The hitbox on this thing is complete wack, so try spamming it down chokepoints. You can also get funny ragdolls with it, which you can't do with the other primaries. And every Soundsmith fan knows that ragdolls are freaking hilarious.


Still not convinced? Look at this guy. He has an apple on his head. It has a Huntsman arrow going right through it. If that isn't enough to prove the true power of this weapon, I don't know what will.

If you wanna play Sniper in Mann vs. Machine, I would highly recommend running either the Machina or the Sleeper if you're not confident in your aim, and the Heatmaker if you are. (almost) Always run the Jarate, and do whatever with melee for the most part.

Invest in:
-Explosive Headshots (#1 priority)
-Slowdown on jarate (also #1 priority)
-Recharge rate (both rifle and jarate)
-Reload speed
-Max ammo
-Damage

Use your canteen on either crits or ammo refills.

Focus on bosses and giant robots (the easier targets), especially if there are a bunch of uber Meds healing them. Use your jarate on them as well, or on any super scouts that pass through. Your team will (hopefully) appreciate you for it by calling a vote kick before the wave even starts.

If there is a tank that needs to be destroyed, use the Carbine and Bushwacka, max them out with upgrades as best as you can, and you can probably guess what to do from there.

Remember to constantly insist to your team that your pick is a better option than a Demoman or a Pyro, until you inevitably get vote kicked (cuz meta, lol).

you don't.

You did it! You are now a true Sniper main! Now get out there and show those wankers who's boss! Even if the team already has "too many snipers" (according to the medic sucking off his soldier/heavy bf), there can never really be too many epic gamers on a team. Remember, I believe in you!