Paunch
86 ratings
Different Types of Paunch Players
By skroobaba
All the kinds of players you will meet when playing Paunch.
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Mr. Worldwide

I don't know how they managed to get an internet connection in the deep, rural forests of Indonesia, but they did and this guy is playing Paunch. Enjoy playing against an opponent who has invented a teleportation device and somehow seems to rubber band away from every rock you throw. At this point, the other player model is just a suggestion and you're better off throwing the rock at any random location to try and get a hit. Also you're probably going to end up being killed multiple times when they aren't even looking at you.
Naked and Afraid

♥♥♥♥ this guy. This is the player who REFUSES to go in for a melee kill and would rather run around the map like an idiot trying to find rocks. This guy won't even try to take a shot at you unless he is 20 feet away and has at least 5 other rocks near him. This player would much rather keep throwing the same final rock and have a draw than to try to melee you in sudden death. These players are not worthy of the rocks they throw.
The Caveman

This guy is like a neanderthal - but without the ability to use the tools around him. This player will continuously run at you the entire game trying to get a paunch kill. The sight of rocks scares and confuses them, so they would rather flail their arms around the whole time. This is most likely a new player or someone who finds throwing rocks too hard.
Rock Jesus

This is the player than men dream of when they go to sleep at night. Rock Jesus is a master of his craft, a skilled warrior in the art of Paunch. He has not gone to a sudden death in years because all of
his opponents rage quit from the brutal beating they are taking. Rock Jesus never misses a rock and will always be carrying two, even if he doesn't need them. When playing against Rock Jesus, you are better off just quitting. Rock Jesus stores the location of every single rock in his massive brain and will instantly find the next rock you are spawning in and quickly kill you. In this game we are mere mortals compared to Rock Jesus. He is a god amongst men and the most powerful human ever conceived.
14 Comments
TheNovie 22 Aug @ 4:05pm 
James is naked and afraid !!!!
Kellen_The_Cool 25 Jul @ 9:23pm 
im rock jesus
Folfonel 7 Dec, 2021 @ 4:52am 
REAL
BO SCHMO 24 Nov, 2021 @ 10:24pm 
REAL
'n' 21 Jul, 2020 @ 1:28pm 
smart
jinnwisp 19 Jul, 2020 @ 7:30am 
accurate
Slammin Salmon 18 Jul, 2020 @ 11:21am 
This has been very informative, thank you for your wisdom:winter2019coolyul:.
toadburger 9 Jul, 2020 @ 5:12pm 
nice
The Dirtiest Dirty Dan 14 Jun, 2020 @ 3:16pm 
Theres also that one guy who just quits if he doesnt get to the white rock before dying
napalm 10 Jun, 2020 @ 11:03am 
this is my favorite guide