In this guide, we will go over how to obtain a burning flames team captain for one key.

I know what you're thinking right now: "Wow, this guide is 3 steps, it doesn't need a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ introduction dumbass."

Well guess what, yeah it does, because introductions are cool.

The first step is to get a key. This is important, only because f2p n00bs don't have keys, and if you don't have one, logically that makes you a f2p n00b. And if you're a f2p n00b, people will probably point at you and laugh, saying "Wow, look at the f2p n00b. What a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥." Then, they will laugh, and you will feel sad, because those guys just called you a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, and no one likes to be called a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, unless you're actually a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Then you'll probably just think "What the ♥♥♥♥, what do these guys keep calling me a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ for? I mean, I am one, but they don't need to keep on saying it, I already know it, everyone already knows it, and they keep on repeating it like it's something new, when it isn't. What a bunch of idiots."


Figure 1: A key, something that f2p n00bs don't have.

This step is really easy, because it's really easy to obtain a crate. Just go ask one of your steam friends for one, preferably the guy with the blue scout avatar, because that's probably the type of guy who has a million crates sitting around in his inventory because he has 4000 hours in tf2. He probably also has no other games in his library besides tf2 except poker night at the inventory, which he traded tf2 items for and played to get more tf2 items.


Figure 2: The blue scout avatar

You actually have a really small chance to get one, but if you do, you get lots of money. On the other hand, if you get a strange shovel, well, you have a strange shovel. Not too many bragging rights there.


Figure 3: You when you get a strange shovel

Seriously, that's just mean.