step 1. do an epic
step 2. become epic
step 3. epic

1. dont not be epic
2. be epic and dont not be epic
3. epic

the tribunal killed you and they've been prosecuting anybody who believes you're coming back because you're a big beefy muscular chad.

dagoth ur would never do such a thing, he is ya fren, but what he doin' kinda silly so you gotta ice the silly individual. he is attempting to genocide every race and turn every dark elf into a hyper-beefed up magical being (the dark elf nationalist population doesn’t mind whatsoever).

be careful though

-dagoth ur is around 7'7, massive reach over literally most anyone

(no clue where i got this figure i think i pulled it off of some old forum post)

-now lets take someone with a similar physique but lets modify, bruce lee but give an extra 30lbs give or take, this would bring bruce up to 170lbs, bruce lee was 5'8

-each inch of height adds around 4-5lbs of muscle mass (not necessarily, i.e lanklets, but that's the gist of it just about)

-if we do the math, dagoth ur is around 295lbs, meaning he is 35lbs too heavy to compete as a heavyweight in mma, and 95lbs too heavy to compete as a heavyweight in boxing, many weight classes above everybody, especially bosmer

-this could all be complete misinformation; i created this guide at the age of 14

-this is on muscle mass alone, the extra bone mass from being 7'7 would likely bring him to over 300lbs

i'm unsure of dagoth's exact stature, i believe i got 7'7 from a reddit thread but i am too lazy to fiddle with my math here



but being a god i imagine he'd be ability-wise somewhere alongside slap boxing champion and 5%er, god rest his soul, rich piana

notable quotes:
"gotta use sunder and keening to confuse the heart, right babe?" -rich piana
"gotta drink the telvanni tren to abuse the attribute system, right babe?" -rich piana

https://youtu.be/NCRQ5XaXMW4

1. don't put strength as a main attribute, just jump up stairs to level strength up (put acrobatics in minor or major in this case)

(if you’re maxing health early tho then put strength for sure)

2. maximising hit chance is easy, agility + luck, luck tends to be overlooked but basically, if you're considering putting strength as a main attribute, put luck instead. (very silly tho)

3. the lover and the lady are the 2 best birthsigns (build-dependant but melee characters 100%)

4. pure mages suck at the start but are op in the end, pure warriors are good at the start but less so in the end, pure rogues/thieves i guess fall somewhere in the middle.

5. hand-to-hand is fun, 1v1 the stunlock is enough to take literally anything, if you switch to a weapon once the enemy is knocked down you can speed the process up, helps with fighting higher level enemies 1v1

1. soultrap glitch
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go into spellmaking, put any kind of spell and set it to target, put a spell that raises your intelligence/willpower attribute, make the spell and keep casting it towards the floor, keep doing this until you are enough of an epic magelord to do the same for different attributes, like personality of which will let you get literally anything for free, strength to one shot everything, or agility to never get hit.

2. potion exploit
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make and drink an intelligence potion, this can make you make better intelligence potions, rinse and repeat for 23 hours and become ultimate smart gamerlord.

3. hand to hand
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not an exploit, hand to hand puts people in a stunlock, and then they stay on the floor until their stamina regens, get a health damage multiplier or just switch to a weapon if you don't wanna tap the same dude for 15 minutes.

4. acrobatics
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not an exploit, put acrobatics into major or minor skills and spend some time jumping up stairways, it takes time but eventually you'll have 100 strength and 100 acrobatics so you can be a big beefy buff sweaty thick girthy jumpy boi.

6. attribute drain (suggested by armywannabe)
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Go to Fort Moonmoth outside of Balmorra, find Solea Nuccusius in the prison towers and buy any drain skill spell. Go to any spellmaker (Balmorra Mages Guild has one) and make a self targeting spell that drains 100-100 points of a skill for 2 seconds. Cast spell in front of a trainer for the skill you are looking to train in, when it succeeds immediately talk the them, train the skill for 1 g till it is level 100

1. steal everything, kill the khajiit store owner for his 10000+ gold weapons, raid the great house vaults, sneak into guild armories, raid all the suran store owners

2. sprint diagonally, combines strafing and forward speed

3. never drop potions, keep them all, unless you have a lot of high quality ones and the cheap ones are just weighing you down, then you absolutely can.

4. bound armor is really sick

5. always kill the brotherhood assassins, even if you have to run, be sure to kill them later, they're good money.

6. hoard silver darts lol.

7. spears are really fun to use.

8. you can cast "calm humanoid" then intimidate the dude into being scared of you, then bribe and admire him until he likes you again, now his attack is at 0 and he because he likes you so much, he won't attack you, if you ONLY intimidate him, he just runs away. you can use this for pacifist, pure charisma, charmer type builds.

9. don't take the silt strider to balmora when you get released from the sensus office in seyda neen, instantly go to suran, suran has all the best loot spots, there’s a dreugh cuirass and helmet at a trader, and another one has 5 ebony darts, a glass dagger and ebony bracer

10. beware always: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5gRlZCSVPU

11. openmw is swag as hell, however it doesn't log hours so you can't show every how big your morrowind pp is, another thing is for me it crashes constantly once i change any setting, i'm used to vanilla morrowind anyway.

12. you can spam taunt so that npcs attack you and you can kill them without getting a bounty, i've personally not used this because i never have high enough speech.

13. the game's goal becomes very different when creeper is rich

14. creeper being rich is lore-friendly because he is actually barbas, clavicus vile's dog (lore)

1. charmer
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i explained this is the "epic tips" section, but you can make a pure charisma build that doesn't kill unless absolutely necessary --> you can cast "calm humanoid" then intimidate the dude into being scared of you, then bribe and admire him until he likes you again, now his attack is at 0 and he because he likes you so much, he won't attack you, if you ONLY intimidate him, he just runs away. you can use this for pacifist, pure charisma, charmer type builds.

2. early epic boxer
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not really a class but you can pick bosmer or argonian, pick speed as a major attribute and choose the steed sign, starting with 85 speed, if you go to all the aforementioned loot spots you can get enough gold to crank your hand to hand to 71 from caius cosades from the very start (and unarmored) or find an even higher trainer, you will hit 100 speed by level 4. can also combine this with bound gloves for extra hand to hand.

https://www.nexusmods.com/morrowind/mods/45864
speeding up the process of beating to death, if i find the time i'll make a mod that speeds up exclusively the health damage of hand to hand, but i've been using this for a while.

https://www.nexusmods.com/morrowind/mods/42677/
money money money

https://www.nexusmods.com/morrowind/mods/45104/
awesome mod, 10/10.

fargoth is a really cool guy, he evades his taxes, he recommends you to a store owner once you give him his possessions, in fact he's so cool there are 3 songs about him:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOqlNSHF798
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyDfuRB-cig
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kt8JFVFyczo

the imperial guard have taken to nicknaming him "little mer, big record" due to his small stature and inability to avoid being charged and sentenced for his many crimes.

the awards and your comments, they are all swag, thank you.

i will continue updating this anyway i can to make sure everybody knows how to play morrowind epic-ally

i thought this would be a good break from a lot of morrowind guides that are the same exact:

"ok so basically download morrowind script extender and morrowind shaders project extender improver overhaul 300 and also morrowind code patch and also morrowind bug fixes 2.0"

"don't put athletics/acrobatics in major/minor skills because you'll be levelling them as you go"

"get the silverware platter from the office at the start of the game"

(putting acrobatics in major/minor skills can give you a free attribute spot in character creation since you can use acrobatics to level up strength by jumping up stairs, making the class at the start of the game is less important than people think, the fact of the matter is if you have enough money, you can use training to bump your skills up no matter what build you make)

morrowind is a very easy game, i legitimately cannot imagine playing it on less than max difficulty, once the mechanics become second nature to you it's essentially the easiest game in the elder scrolls series, i've had more difficulty playing arena, daggerfall, oblivion and skyrim than morrowind.

after playing for a while you start you create a subconscious guide of everything you do before meeting caius cosades, which involves jumping place to place to loot spots, selling everything off to creeper and then going to caius at level 1 or 2 with 20,000+ gold in your inventory.

morrowind is a masterpiece, an absolute staple of sandbox rpgs.